UK General Election 2019

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This is not so much a cunting as it is a playbook – should any of our common sense contingent get approached by, or have chance to deal with, any party campaigner or – even better – candidate.

It does not matter the party, or colour of the rosette; it is universal because they’re all a pile of wank!

No matter what they say…

“The Conservative Party pledges £129bn for the NHS, 100,000 new homes over the next 10yrs, 2,000 new schools, and and an extra lane on the M1 and M6!”

“The Labour Party pledges £139bn for the NHS, 200,000 new homes over the next 10yrs, 3,000 new schools, and and an extra two lanes on the M1 and M6!”

“The Liberal Democrat Party pledges £149bn for the NHS, 300,000 new homes over the next 10yrs, 4,000 new schools, and and an extra three lanes on the M1 and M6!”

Sincerely agree with them and then say this: “That’s fantastic, and I will vote for you/your candidate if you will answer the following simple question honestly: Why? And while you take a moment to think about it let me explain that the birthrate of the indigenous peoples of the UK is currently at 1.8, which is well below the replacement rate of 2.1, a difference which also more than cancels out the fact that people are living longer in general. So, if the indigenous population is not increasing, what is necessitating this massive spending bill that will invariably cause huge tax hikes? To reiterate my original question: Why?”

If it’s a Tory pleb then they may mention Priti’s plan to decimate immigration (a plan that is also being backtracked on already).

If Lib/Lab then they’re likely to blank you and fuck off without another word (after the gooning smile has left their smug faces).

If you get chance – and I pray you do – state the above reasonably and pleasantly (give them no reason to brush you off as an angry zealot/bigot/whatever) but above all else, make sure plenty of people hear you, and – more importantly – your question.

The party campaigner’s/candidate’s reaction/response will be all telling.

Let the cunts squirm. THEY (the 600 green leather arse polishers) are the reason this country is falling to bits. Only THEY have the power to affect change, and yet THEY remain complicit in our destruction, and the destruction of our way of life, all whilst favouring those from without at the expense of those from within. It stinks!

Cunts!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

90 thoughts on “UK General Election 2019”

  1. Great nom Rebel!👍
    And bang on the button.
    They are the reason we are upto our necks in gimmegrants, and the country is falling apart.
    Had some Labour canvasser offer me a leaflet and some lib dummies post some shite through the door thats it upto now.

    • Give it another week and you can save on the next weeks loo roll while Blunty can line Percy’s cage.

      • Afternoon LL. Percy’s days could be numbered as I’m presently fattening him up for the dinner table.
        I’m planning on having him as part of a 3 bird roast – a turduckarrot – a deboned parrot stuffed in to a deboned duck which in turn is stuffed in to a deboned turkey.
        It’s been some time since I attempted this much stuffing but I think I’ve still got it in me.

      • Afternoon Blunty, keep him out of sight of Fiddler or he’ll have him with his shotgun and strung up ready for the wood smoker.

  2. Don’t mention immigration. I did once but i think i got away with it.
    Jeremy and his superbly clever team of front benchers have promised free everything for EVERYONE!
    All paid for by the horrible dastardly rich.
    Whats not to like?

    • Well Diane Abbott has already pledged that the Labour Party is going to borrow enough money to get the whole country out of debt!

  3. It’s because quite a few within certain groups breed like rats, don’t pay tax and claim everything they possibly can.

    Would love to see figures on tax contributions by by working age group (per capita) Vs what they take out via services/benefits/tax credits per annum.

    But of course, to do so would be ‘wayciss’.

  4. Nice off topic, We have some twat doing an Extinction Rebellion Hunger strike on the Village square where I work.
    I am in two minds weather to go down there and eat a bag of chips next to him or offer to sew his lips up.

    • Go with the chips. Then find out if he is a vegan (almost 100% certain he is), then return with a bacon butty. Then repeat the next day.

      I bloody well would!

    • Order Maccy Fees, chippy, a pizza and lay out a full buffet table in front of him with pork pies, sarnies, cakes pop and beer etc. Waft the smell of the take aways under his nose.

      Eat the stuff in front of him and keep offering him some.

    • Crowdfund the cunt …. Then Go get him a Mac Donald’s 1/4lb with cheese and go large with the fries !! Chocolate milkshake and an apple pie …..
      fucking soft cock

    • Maybe send him a pizza around midnight When he’s cold and weak?
      I bet he fucks off when the going gets tough and there’s no audience!
      proper 9 to 5 warrior……

      • Its gonna freeze tonight!
        Is he glued to owt?
        The bucket of piss is best!
        Like jack Nicholson at the end of ‘the Shining’!
        Dead piss soaked hippy,
        Merry Christmas!!🌲

      • South Park always seems to be bang-on with issues, a few months ahead of us. Had its ups and downs but thank fuck a show as un-PC is still allowed to air, I’m honestly amazed the hordes of right-on brainwashed zombies haven’t had it cancelled yet

    • Ooooh…. that’s a good one. That will confuse the fuck out of them.

      Trouble is, you just know they’ll have an answer, pre-prepared by LibDem central office.

  6. Just after collecting my daughter from school this afternoon there was a bunch of wimmin standing around wearing red rosettes. One of them thrust a Labour party leaflet at me, and said she was the Labour candidate for the area. I replied “No thankyou I have enough toilet paper at home!”.

    She replied “thankyou for your support!!!”.

    My daughter said I was rude. Shame, I thought it was funny!

  7. Great nom, Rebel. The fucking state we’re in makes you want to weep. Politicians of all persuasions are truly the fucking pits.

  8. BREAKING NEWS!!
    SNP and LIB DUMS lose high court appeal to be involved in itv election special tomorrow night!!
    Ha ha ha you utterly pathetic two bob wankers

    • Wee Jimmy Krankie will be crying into her porridge tonight. Isn’t this what intolerant illiberal snowflakes call ‘no-platforming’? They still have The Grauniad and al-Beeb to spout their loony tunes bollocks.

      • Evening mr liquidator…..
        I saw that fucking SNP beluga whale spouting his verbal diarrhoea on tv this morning!! Ian blackford is a cunt of the highest order, he was getting all sweaty under the studio lights, his little piggy eyes swivelled as he spoke of the great injustice of it all……
        I absolutely despise the fat cunt……..

      • Good evening Q..
        Truly loathsome piece of dogshit. Boris’s alleged tart Jennifer Arcuri needs to shut her cakehole, nobody cares where Johnson has been shoving his Johnson.

      • Actually LOL !!
        She was allegedly a model?
        Funny how weird looking women fall back on that ?
        Yeh she should just shut the fuck up
        Oxygen thief……

    • I could just about see the case for the LibDumbs who are standing candidates in 600+ seats across the country… but the SNP? They’re only standing in 59 seats, and ALL of them in Scotland.

      Tuesday’s debate, as I understand it, was for potential Prime Ministers. Theoretically possible for Swindler, but IMPOSSIBLE for Sturgeon /Blackcunt.

      • Evening RTCP…
        correct….
        Apparently Caroline Lucas has been offered the job of licking the cheese off Bojos helmet? Studio lights and all that….

      • Good Morning RTC

        They should stand in England I think they might get a lot of seats and then we can tell them to fuck right off.

    • Oh no! If all their supporters choose not to tune in now, then ITV will have lost 5 from the viewing figures!

  9. Brilliant nomination!!
    But that’s all a load of bollocks because I’m going for the catweazel free broadband deal ( joking) in a play lifted straight from the days of captain cook giving natives little baubles in exchange for all kinds of goodies labour really believe it’s a game changer? Something for nothing?
    Only a cunt with the IQ of brain damaged squirrel would believe it …….
    Mind you if Johnson offered me a smart TV I may reconsider……..

    • Could you even begin to imagine a nationalised ISP and what that would mean for internet privacy and freedom? That decrepit old cunt really thinks people will flock to him on such a promise and will happily give up their privacy and freedom for “free” broadband, he is so far beyond being in touch it’s not even funny anymore.
      It’s terrifying that there are people that will still turn out to vote for him. Not because he might win, but because there are all too many absolute cretins that are too fucking stupid and/or too ulteriorly motivated to see how bad he is for, without exaggeration, civilisation as we know it. How is he even remotely close to being the other option, it’s truly scary to see the scale of lunacy we are up against.

    • I know you’re joking but…

      A Govt run t’interweb = a Govt controlled t’interweb!

      This is how China does it and that’s working out well for the people there isn’t it…

      Besides how will I get my “chicks with dicks” fix when the aggressive left will only want to allow “blokes with cunts” – which is fucking disgusting!

      🤡🤡🤡

    • ‘Jeznet’ would be heavily policed. More useless government (Stasi) jobs whereby they heavily monitor for ‘hate speech’ .

      Of course, such things that could land you in a gulag would include criticisms if the party or its members. You can say what you like about Christians and Jews, but one negative word about the peacefuls and your doors will be caved in by the police in night dresses.

      Can’t think of anything worse than letting a mental communist cunt like Corbyn control information and communication.

      We’d all be hanged for some if the shite said on here.

  10. Good news that teeth and tits Swinson and Jockstrap Blackford will not be allowed to appear on the TV debate tomorrow – they are so fucking ugly and unbearable they should be on their knees thanking ITV.

    Boris is the only one who can win a majority, and even if I didn’t support him, what would be better? him or the pansies and amateur marxists of Steptoe propped up by Swinson, plus more referendums and Hilary Mary-Ann Benn posturing for a few more years as a fucking barackroom lawyer.

    • I wasn’t going to bother, but after reading the attached “votenone” hyperlink I will be doing exactly that. Fuck their pencils – I will be attending the community centre armed with a black marker pen!

      Thanks Ruff Tuff

      • ‘Revive for us a broken Coriolanus’. He’s very uncompromising RT. That’s his tragic flaw. What does he say? ‘Let it be virtuous to be obstinate’. He lives in a sort of splendid isolation. But Corio is falling apart.
        You won’t compromise? For a little bit of Brexit?

      • I won’t compromise. It doesn’t matter who I vote for, all the fucking sheep round my way will vote conservative anyway. After what those wankers did to my previous occupation I wouldn’t ever vote conservative again even if they put a gun to my head.

      • Evening Miles.

        The only thing that would induce me to vote Tory (e.g. Boris Johnson) on December the 12th, is if I felt there were a real danger of Corbyn obtaining a majority.

      • Bertie,
        i may, possibly, have had some small involvement in law enforcement for 27 fucking long years.

        When May was Home Sec, she royally fucked us over and left us all a lot worse off. The really fucking annoying thing was they shafted us over things they had given us in the first place. I felt really sorry (and still do) for my colleagues that are left as they are in even worse financial positions than I found myself in.

        One of the many reasons I am now a bitter, twisted old bastard, and will never vote for the tories again.

  12. Still weeks to go and the promises, swatches of investment, and rivers of cash to be spent on everything has become meaningless. It doesnt matter that the figures are ginormous, only that money is promised.
    Flood prevention? Half a billion.
    Edyookayshun? Oh, billions.
    NHS? Ohh, billions and billions.

    • It doesn’t matter what they do or do not promise. One thing is for sure – whoever wins will still be giving away £12 BILLION every fucking year in Foreign Fucking Aid to those scrounging cunts in booga booga land who have done nothing to deserve it.

      Grrrrrrrrrrrr

      • We already know these potential green leather polishers will promise us anything at all if there’s a chance we’ll vote them in. The only thing we don’t know is whether it’ll be before the election or afterwards when they are exposed as lying bastards.

      • Just watch them. If you see their lips moving and hear words coming out, you will know they are lying

      • Oh yes, and why do you need money? Food? Schools?
        Oh Nuclear weapons and Space rockets! How much do you want?

      • Well since you ask The Great Umbongo was hoping to purchase the odd penthouse, Belgravia or Mayfair or possibly both, not forgetting the young Prince Umbongo Jr the fee’s at Harrow have been escalating the last few years

    • There is a quote that sums up general elections something like this

      A general election is a sort of advanced auction sale of yet to be stolen property.

      sums it up nicely

  14. Luckily the leader of the Libertarian Party is standing in my constituency so i’ll be giving him my vote.

  15. I am still waiting for a left wing Corbyn cock sucking cunt to knock on the door….

    “When will I get my free broadband, can I cancel my current subscription and sign up to Corbyn Media”

    “On the subject of immigration, if we have a shortage of housing for the people who are here already, where are the continuing 200,000 + per year net influx of people going to live”

    “From what I have heard, Corbyn is going to negotiate Brexit in name only and then give the people a choice of Remain or Remain, is that fair”

    CUNTS!

  16. There are a record breaking number of women standing in the General Election (mainly Labour). I urge everyone to vote ABAW(anyone but a woman).
    I know it’s difficult to identify one these days but just for clarity, avoid any shirtlifters, rugmunchers and divas such as Grievous, Benny boy and any others you can’t classify.

    • Only last week we were being told that women were being put off from standing! The fewer the better imo.

      • Ahem, sexist.

        Off Topic, hohoho, our wayward prince will be off his foie gras tonight!!
        Lawyer Gloria Allred on news doing a press interview asking for him to speak to the FBI in the states!😁
        Sat next to a victim who looks like a anorexic version of stewart copeland from the Police!
        And poor Jeffers murdered in his cell to shut him up too! (Allegedly!)

  17. Hey political stooge stop allowing worthless foreign scum into the country. I don’t think there’s any need for that tone sir oh yeah pick up a local newspaper and within a few seconds I’ll guarantee you will spot a crime by a foreign cunt. Yes but think of all the foreigners who work for the NHS. Yeah well we only need them because there are 15 million foreign cunts in the country using it aswell. Ok I’ll put it to my party and the local MP. Good now fuck off my property you queer cunt.

  18. No Brexit Party candidates in Kent whatsoever so I’ll scrawl, ‘All Cunts’ over mine in red ink rather than vote for Johnson’s watered-down plate of shite.

    Corby sucks the turds from dead terrorists’ arses but he’s still not as much of a cunt as Johnson, a man who says “Yes” to everything and everyone as long as his fragile ego is stroked.

    Boris Johnson is the Olivia Coleman of politics.
    .

    • Evening Captain!
      What about the lovely mrs swindells with the winning smile?
      Vote for her!

      • The more I see this batshit crazy goggle-eyed gobshite the more I think she needs to be sectioned. I saw there is a programme ‘Looking for Kes’ tomorrow night on al-Beeb 4, Miserable, but it has got that giant knob end Greg Davies in it.

      • Yeah? Ill have a look.
        Greg Davies the headmaster off inbetweeners?
        Is he a ducky darling type or something?

      • Evening gents,

        That Liberal unDemocrats leader is in a field of her own. A carrot field, judging by those teeth.

        🎃 oo-aah Hockeysticks bumpkin cunt

      • She could bankrupt the country if Corbyn’s free dental checks come in to effect.

  19. The Limps have been shoving leaflets through my door daily. Apart from the logo, there’s little to indicate that they are party political, and they are the product of the following reasoning:
    “Well, Tarquin, we haven’t got any real policies, and if we had we couldn’t possibly implement them, and amazeballs*, it’s a Leave constituency, so let’s find some local issues for local people in the local paper and do a flyer which looks like it’s by an anonymous group of concerned local citizens, and use that.”

    *God, I’m woke.

    • That ‘amazeballs’ thing works if you sneer it K!
      Pretend your Johnny Rotten and drip venom into it, brings out the colour in their cheeks!
      Miserablesguidetorudeness.co.uk

      • Been trying that out in front of the mirror, MNC. Stress on the last syllable, pronounced as by Blackburrrners, it works very well. Thanks.
        #amazeballscunt

  20. No fucking politician ever comes anywhere near my house – probably because they can’t find it – nevertheless, the electric fencing and viscious guard dogs may have some influence – labour aren’t really fighting the seat, the libdumps have pulled out and there’s two independents of no fixed abode standing – nobody knows what they are standing for, there’s no hustings as yet so we have to pick one based on their photo in the local paper – that’s representation for ya!!! fuck off the lot of them, cunts one and all

  21. No cunt has ever knocked on my door at election time or stopped me in the street, more’s the pity. I suspect that’s because this is one of the safest Labour seats in the country so they don’t bother. However I did get thrown out of one of Tessa Jowell’s public meetings for asking awkward questions about her finances. She’s dead now, of course, thanks to the “Curse of the Frog.” 💀

    • Maybe you could be a ‘Frog in the Ointment’ and rattle Catweazle when he is out and about with his Marxist wish list giving away our money. I have just read in their manifesto they would launch an investigation into British colonialism and its legacy today, which just means white cunts today apologising for the actions of other white cunts 200 years ago. Isn’t that what universities are there for?

      • Nice one. It makes me hope Don buys her home town and levels it to build a golf resort.

      • Oddly, I saw this ad, and I thought of a dreadful ginger, divorced (but wishing she were still a royal) and useless ex, closer to home…

        Apparently Flapears has been advised to exile his eejit brother “when he becomes King.”…
        Please dog that I’ll have left this fucked-over cuntry by then…
        Queen Camillaaaah ??!

  23. When the tories actually make an attempt to reverse the damage to our institutions Labour have inflicted during the Blair-brown years, stop spending our cash on crap like HS2 and foreign aid, reverse hate speech laws and other proto-fascist police state measures, I might consider voting for them. They had 9 fucking years. The first step might be for the present MP for my constituency to step down and a pro-Brexit candidate to replace her.

    If the greens turn up at the door i’ll have a papier mache Greta with a burning tyre around its neck.

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