A ‘Keep left, you cunt’ cunting for cunts with no lane sense, if you please. What is their thought process? Do they think they use less fuel in lane 2/3? Is it a smoother ride? I have absolutely no idea and I’d personally like to shoot the thick, selfish cunts. The cunts have to be given a ‘polite’ reminder with the bull-horn to pull over when I come up behind their sorry arses when I’m on blue-lights and sirens. The cunts expect ME to undertake them rather than pulling over. Doesn’t work like that, you cunt. An empty fucking motorway and you have some absolute festering cunt sat, like a cunt in lane 2. I’ve just returned from France. Say what you like about the garlic-eating surrender monkeys, but their lane sense is superb. I say, fine these cunts a grand a mile they’re in the wrong lane and ban them for a year.
Nominated by DCI Gene Cunt
These cunts who do their entire journey in the middle lane do my head in. Common sense should tell them to move over but they don’t have any. If I was motorway police I’d be pulling them over to the hard shoulder all day long. Thick cunts.
14
I agree partly but would argue that it is a smoother ride in lanes 2 and 3 as the Lorrie’s sink the road surface in lane 1 in summer due to their weight and there seems to be a lot more pot holes in the slow lane.
These Lorrie’s are also plodding along every hundred yards so if you intend to stay in the correct lane unless overtaking (lane 1) then you end up going in and aaaaht everytime you reach a lorry in the slow lane.
Me personally I stay in the fast lane and get right up close to any cunt slowing me down until they get aaaaht my way.
I then look at them shaking my head as I pass them, for the extra wind up effect.
It’s the Governments fault for allowing all these EU Trucks and Cars on the road.
Go fuck yourselves.
10
I spend a lot of time on the motorways Cuntflap and these Lorrie’s taking an hour to overtake eachother pisses me right off and they cause massive tailbacks. The one being overtaken flashes the other to let them know they are clear to move back in the slow lane, which makes you think you’ve been flashed by a camera.
They should be allowed on motorway’s at night only.
5
Sorry B&WC didn’t see you’d made same point until I posted!!
4
No worries Cuntan, these Lorry overtakes are something that pisses most off surely. Worse when you have 5 Lorrie’s two overtaking and its pissing down with rain.
3
And public flogging for lorry drivers who pull out to overtake OTHER LORRIES on stretches of dual carriageway, going approximately 0.001mph faster than the other one, thus blocking both fucking lanes for 5 miles
12
solution, Drone police.
Instant justice.
https://youtu.be/ziMXVDRIKVY
Fucking Iraqi lorry drivers, they wont be doing that again!
3
I didn’t know our motorways were free to use. The amount of VED I pay would suggest otherwise.
5
Yes, the difference being that I don’t use the motorways but I’ve still got to fucking pay for them.
3
I admit to hogging the middle lane, and I don’t give a fuck.
Reasons are numerous, not least for the constant hassle of indicating in and out of the slow lane only to get stuck behind lorries, caravans, tankers, nervous drivers, Sunday drivers and other bellends who don’t know what the fuck 70mph means.
Then you have all the shit on the slow lane, not last diesel spillages, litter, broken glass; then you have cunts coming in off a slip road, especially at service stations, who tend to just jump straight in in front of you while you have to slam on the brakes.
Ergo, I stay in the middle lane in urban areas, and when the motorway clears down I’ll go back to the slow cunt’s lane. Other than that I’ll stick to the middle lane.
10
It’s a right fucking chore having to glance in your fucking mirror, flick a finger to move your indicator stalk and move your fucking arm(s) slightly having to change lanes, isn’t it? You have mine, and it seems the majority of posters on this thread’s sympathy.
A grand a fucking mile if I had my way…
10
ie; concentrate on what you’re supposed to be fucking doing rather than watching x-hamster on your fucking ‘phone. Probably!
10
It’s not the slow lane it’s the driving lane. The middle lane and the outside lane are both passing lanes. There is no such thing as a fast lane seeing as all lanes are limited to 70mph.
I think my aneurysm is brewing again.
0
I was driving along a main road one night about 3am. Suddenly a fire engine behind me lights on, siren. OK, I was taught to just slow down initially (so in busy traffic not everyone would pull in straight away causing confusion). So I kept very close to the left at very reduced speed for a little while. Right up my arse beeping me…Well fucking overtake me then! You’ve got enough room! There’s no-one on the road! Went on for some time. Anyway firemen shouting out the window as they finally went past. Should I have pulled in on a clear main road?
5
if safe to do so yes, I had to drive through the red lights of hanger lane too unblock the traffic and let the fire-brigade through once (obviously not at speed) I felt a bit worried at the time and despite the cameras I did not get nicked, so I imagine it is acceptable.
4
No it’s not an excuse/reason and you can be done for going through red light to clear the road for any emergency vehicle.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/you-allowed-break-law-emergency-10382190
2
I stand corrected, I got away with it but maybe you wont.
This is more helpful.
https://www.bluelightaware.org.uk/?page_id=22
2
I think this is the link with the informative video –
https://www.bluelightaware.org.uk/
With thanks for flagging it up, Lord B.
0
Fair play, M’Lord, but, every blue-light responder is taught to hang back at red lights and not push you through. We’re told to turn off the blue lights, too, but, I think that confuses motorists so I stick with swiching the sirens off and hanging back. If your good enough to move aside/ go through the red light then that’s your decision and I’ve not contributed to your ticket, and the CCTV on the truck will corroborate that. Hopefully, common sense will prevail if you get a ticket, and circumstantial evidence will be taken into account, that you moved slowly and stopped and not carried on. The people we’re going to will be grateful, that’s for sure. Any consolation will be that, if we’re really ‘going for it’, it’s a comfirmed CAT 1, CPR in progress, paediatric arrest or something equally serious.
1
By right of law the only vehicle you should shift for is an ambulance not the fire brigade or old bill believe it or not .i was made aware of this by a work colleague who shifted /ge hesitated due to speed camera!
0
Incorrect. All emergency services have exactly the same exemptions.
1
In two minds about this Miles. On the one hand, I would almost always slow right down or even stop to let a blue lighter go past me. On the other hand, if it is perfectly safe and clear for them to overtake you without you needing to stop, they should have done that.
They might have been going to an emergency, but that doesn’t give them the right to be bell ends. You should have given them the finger and told them to fuck off.
5
I forgot to add in my previous response to this is that we’re not legally allowed to cross solid white lines unless the obstruction we’re attempting to pass is stationary, a road mainyenence vehicle, bicycle or horse travelling at under 10MPH, to turn off the road, in order to avoid an accident or when directed to by a police officer. So, if it’s solid white lines, STOP and take a few seconds out of your day.
2
Yes, you should have. Boils my fucking piss when people don’t pull over and stop. That gap is suddenly getting smaller between the vehicle not slowing down and the traffic island/traffic/obstruction ahead. Takes seconds off your journey but those seconds might mean the difference between life and death for the person/s that emergency vehicle is going to. Pull over to the LEFT, stop, and check there’s not more than one emergency vehicle coming. And don’t cruise in Lane fucking 2.
There endeth the lesson.
8
I better make a confession. Just thinking there are traffic islands on that road. Yep, probably my fault.
2
I’d just add to that that an oncoming blue light may well have to go the wrong side of an island to get round stuck traffic, and it’s an extremely good idea to make sure he can. My commute includes a hospital road, and, legal or not, I’m happy to co-operate and stay out of A&E myself.
1
I heard an advert on the radio a while back saying ‘If you see a cross above a lane you are not supposed to drive in it and it can be dangerous’. I am sure this was an ad by highways England…who the fuck is this aimed at? Oh yeah the eastern European and Africunt twats who don’t understand the obvious.
Nice to see where our road tax is being spent…it’s definitely not on the roads is it…pot holes bigger than a Gays bum hole.
Piss off
8
As a lorry driver myself you can all Go fuck yourselves,
Lorries are restricted to 90kmph or 56 mph most English lorry drivers are pissed off to with the amount of fucking useless brain dead car driver’s, £30 grand car’s should of spent £5 grand on a car and used the rest to learn how to fucking drive properly, lorries buses, ambulance fire service , military vehicles you should give way to ,ooh I want to get to the red light first, only way is Essex is on TV must dash home,
Practice what you preach cunts
Get 2 fuck
You have our sympathy, some of us are aware of the spys in the cab and other shit you have to deal with (the unrealistic dispatcher), but you need to understand that all the public see is a big scary lorry and not the driver doing there best not to wipe out some cretin who has a fraction of the driving skill or highway code knowledge (and not subject to medicals either) of the operator.
6
Why is it when I’m in a never ending 50 mph roadworks zone, I get a lorry coming right behind me or overtaking me going well over 50mph? Do you lot get a free pass and no fine? You lot causing more chaos again.
Also what with these Lorrie’s with Blackpool illuminations all over the gaff? Why do some Lorry drivers have lights everywhere causing more chaos.
You lot are out of order.
10
Those ones with the fucking great gay illuminated scania logo at the back of the cab crack me up
5
My dad was a lorry driver for 50 years, one brother still is; a bigger pair of bellends I have never met
7
😁😁😁 can’t argue with that assessment Cuntan.
6
It’s like a Christmas tree driving down the motorway…trying to show off cunts.
4
I find that the car doing 45 mph on the centre lane is very often driven by a dopey wimminz or one of our much enriching colonial guests.
This is obviously racist and sexist on my part so i’ll go away and give myself a damned good thrashing!
4
I find the car is often being driven by a hat, the top of which is just visible above the steering wheel.
6
Or better yet a fucking pillar box!
0
I will cautiously admit to having broken the speed limit in an outer lane. Once, officer. And I would like to cunt the Audi or Merc cunt who thinks 90 mph isn’t enough, and tailgates me closely whenever I…sorry…when I once broke the law. Someone needs to learn that a motorbike stops a hell of a lot faster than a car, even if you’ve left enough of a gap for your reflexes to operate at all.
Lorries? Salt of the earth, and they’ve got a job to do. But I certainly agree about one doing 50 mph in order to overtake another doing 49 mph. Is his delivery schedule that tight?
5
I’m just lucky that as a motorcyclist all rules of the road dont apply to me 🙂
6
If you were a cyclist the rules of the pavement wouldn’t apply either.
1
Good point; red lights, fuck them – straight up onto the path
1
Audi and Merc drivers aren’t the only pricks on the road I would add to that BMW, SUV’s and Range Rovers
1
Oh yes. I didn’t mean to exclude any cunts, just mentioned the cunts who annoyed me most recently. And Mercs coming out of side roads are by a long way the top scorers in trying to kill me. For completeness, I will add women in ‘sports’-ish cars and little blue box things of indeterminate origin which do not exceed 40 whatever the road conditions. They’re always fucking blue: light blue. Anyone know why?
1
I use cruise control most of the time ,My truck is limited to 54mph , M6 Stafford for instance I set it at 50 and plod on unless I have to slow down or overtake , average speed cameras are average speed plus upto 10% I see car’s everyday in the fast lanes doing 40 45 ,when you’re driving for 9 or 10 hrs a day it’s gets a bit frustrating , roads are to busy load’s of roadworks all over the country accidents all the time, Rush Rush to get anywhere, nobody has any common sense anymore it’s all me me me,
It’s just not worth risking your life or anyone elses for the sake of being late,
When I’m in my car I stick to speed limits and don’t Push the rules same in My truck My license and my living
I appreciate that car’s and hgvs should not be on the same road’s but what can you do,
And I also appreciate that not all HGV drivers are good drivers
8
Im on the road all the time as part of my job, lane hoggers are timid thick cunts slathered in a layer of selfishness!
Get out of the fuckin way!
As for lorry drivers, you have to remember theyre massive so slow to accelerate, carrying heavy and sometimes delicate loads, give em a bit of room!
An if its a chinky driving get away from them ALWAYS useless fuckers
Open yer eyes Jackie Chan,
Your on a motorway.
6
I think the others are unaware how long it takes to qualify to drive those things, There is a general misconception that you just pass a test and jump in the cab, not so.
Passing your HGV is the start of a long struggle, Most employers wont employ a new driver until they have 5 or more years experience so most HGV drivers are on a low salary driving for the council or a shit firm, once they have done their “Time” they can graduate to better Trucks and better salary’s, due to the size of the vehicle trucks hitting cars is big news, but the amount of cars that hit trucks or try to go under the side skirts is horrendous, I myself was almost in an accident coming off the M25 whilst in the slow lane to use the slip road some prick in an audi or merc came in off the fast lane clipped the lorry in the middle lane and ended up being ploughed sideways up the motorway by the truck, (I think we all shit ourselves that night).
So give them a bit of slack, likewise I eat so I dont give tractor drivers shit either.
7
I dont drive a truck anymore and failed my HGV twice.
4
Agreed! No point throwing a tantrum an spitting the dummy,
Nothing you can do!
Hes a slow vehicle, and defiantly slower if you give him shit.
3
If it’s the female effnicks usually doing 40 on the motorway I creep up behind them and blast the air horn, just to see the jazz hands and fright on their faces, usually steer clear of them most times anyway as i can Spot them a mile away, filter lanes are My worst gripe how many drivers haven’t a clue how to use them 90mph usually a German car hammering it down to a 40 ffuckksakke 9 out of 10 cars smashed up are German ,why bother,,
buy1
put it in the skip
save the hassle
Easy
6
I find that travelling as a passenger with Mrs B can bring on terrible PTSD, feelings of fear and despair, so I like to drive her whenever I can.
She thinks I am very chivalrous.
3
Im in a luton van so no rear view, the amount of dozy fuckers who stay right up my arse, cant see them unless they drop back!
If i have to break suddenly theyre getting a faceful of tail lift,😡
4
The camber on some of the Olde Worlde london roads is a cunt, I had a building strike reversing on to a road, the bumper was 2 ft away from the building but the roof struck it.
(no one noticed so I fucked off)
Then driving Argos we did a cheeky railway bridge, I was hanging out the cab checking the headroom, we went out dropped the load and the co driver was hammering back same route when I realised that we were now empty and probably up on the springs, That was scary but we still fitted.
5
Fair play! My motto is when on blues and sirens: ‘The faster the speed, the bigger the gap gets’!
1
Alright MNC, got any goods that can ‘fall off the back’ I can help you get rid of…we could go 50/50. Christmas coming up we’d make a killing.
If the police are reading this…I know naffink abaaaht it.
2
Alrite BWC!
Naw, im a removalman so the goods tend to be peoples household stuff,
Because im near posh parts of cheshire though sometimes do footballers an TV people!
Can case theyre gaffs for you!
😁
3
Even better MNC, let’s nick these super rich fuckers belongings and then sell it back to them a week later.
We could say we found it, but knew naffink abaaaht anyfink.
3
when much younger i had a CBR600 and idiot that i was i used to go pretty quick but no matter how quick i went there was always some cunt in a car who wanted to go quicker.. doing 90 in the outside lane one day some fucker came right up behind flashing his lights, i just sat there for a minute and then pulled away at 130, then pulled into the middle lane , slowed to 70 and waved to him as he went by. childish i know but i enjoyed it.
3
yep had a shitty old volvo 960 and pissed all over some cunt in a Jag once, he was quite surprised.
2
When I’m minding my business and some cunt does that, one of my faves is to wait until the road clears then let him pass me, revving his engine like a cunt; then twat the throttle while he’s pulling back in to overtake him so when he looks back in front you’re still ahead of him. Childish I know
3
Tut, tut. It’s people like you that get Audi a bad name.
2
Deserved cunting, sitting in lane 2 and not even near passing anything at 68 miles an hour and nothing on the inside lane anyway. So your either forced to undertake and risk a fine and points or play chequers to go round them, boils my piss!
2
Get rid of all the foreign shit in lane 1, and I might be tempted to use the fucker. Until then. Lane 2
1
there is absolutely no rhyme or reason for these borish twats – but alas, what do we do – we all drive in the outside lane instead and create even more mayhem – there should be a bomb that goes off each time one of these cunts drive past – blow ’em up I say – would mean less traffic on the road – very green and carbon friendly
2
Nice one DCI. I was going to cunt smart motorways but you’ve kinda beaten me to it. Smart motorways have been introduced because the British are too gormless to cope with three lanes and fast speeds. This system works well in Europe, especially Germany where you have your wits about you or die. In other words, if you are moving slower keep left.
British motorways are now a misery to drive on. Keep at 77 mph or risk a ticket.
4
I rather suspect and have done for while that the middle-lane-cunts (as they are known in any car I’m travelling in … which can be an issue if the driver of the car I’m a passenger in hogs the middle lane) think there is a safety element to their cunting. In so far as the fuckwitted fucktard cunts think that if shit happens, they have room to manoeuvre in either direction to avoid being killed (which would be a blessing … but preferably at home so they don’t fuck up the M5 for 9 hours on a Saturday in summer … the cunts). As opposed to realising that if they stay in the DRIVING LANE you utter fucktarding cunts, that you still have a lane to manoeuvre safely to called the hard shoulder, or the grass fucking bank.
These infuriating middle lane driving cunts are by default a rolling roadblock necessitating unnecessary overtaking from the inside lane to the outside lane to avoid breaking the law by undertaking. And by dint of their illogical cuntishness create additional movements of vehicles from lane to lane thus increasing the probability of collisions in all three lanes almost simultaneously the utter fucking fucking moronic cunts.
This is a pet hate, many thanks for letting me vent. You may have prevented an aneurysm.
PS: Grammarly has a very red face, the angry little AI cunt.
1