I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! (ITV Shite) (2)

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I’m A Celebrity Cunt is back… What a load of bollocks…

This shite costs millions of pounds to make, lapped up by retarded chav riff raff and featuring “look at me” cunts who would sell their souls to get noticed…and what an array of cunts we have this year.

Chocolate clown, Ian Wright, some tart off NeverEnders, and the fly on top of the dog turd: Caitlyn ‘Brucie Bonus’ Jenner. Fuck me, the circus is in town. What’s the betting that Brucie is going to blub in front of the cameras, being a ‘sensitive woman’ and all that?

Fucking bollocks and a total freak show for narcissists, has beens and abominations.

Nominated by Norman

111 thoughts on “I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! (ITV Shite) (2)”

  1. Hopefully, because they can’t eat live insects this year, they’ll eat each other.

      • Didn’t he have the balls, pardon the pun, to commit to it and chop his danglies off? I think he just has a festering wound now.

      • Yes that procedure would result in a axe-wound ‘cunt’. Far less appealing or useful than the XX real thing.

  2. Proud to say I’ve never seen an episode of this and any other unadulterated reality tv shite. Tv for brain-dead cunts.

    A gold-medal cunting.

    • I a Celebrity….. apologies, I mean… I’m a Z list has-been twat – get me out of here. This is the architypal lowest common denominator, shit for brains TV that the general masses seem to crave.

      What really surprises me, is that it isn’t just the millenial, smartphone obsessed generation X that watches this crap.. I often hear 30 – 60 something plebs raving on about how much they’re looking forward to seeing xxxx on there.

      Don’t get me started about ‘professional’ geordies Ant & Dec either. These cunts have been making a fortune out of their ‘cheerful, chirpy, lads having a laugh’ speel for far too long. Aren’t people sick of their grinning faces yet ? and they’ve surely been living in Essex & Kent so long now, that they no longer qualify as Newcastle lads.

      I’d get so much more enjoyment from a live version of Celebrity Deathmatch. Who wouldn’t prefer to see Jordan & Lily fight with pugil sticks, balanced on a rickety tree trunk, above a pit of cobras & pythons ? Make it worth watching or it can fuck right off !

      • The only chirpy Geordies I’ve ever met were those who had fled dahn sahf. This cannot be a coincidence.

  3. Car crash TV for the plebs!

    Until ratings fall through the floor and sponsors say “fuck it!” you’ll always have shitfests like that.

    Perhaps one day you’ll see Greta Thundercunt rubbing shoulders (and supple white thighs) with Prince Andrew; along with Lilly Mong, Gary Linekunt and Jess Phillips amongst other irritating cunts on Celeb

  4. If they changed the name and format I might be tempted to watch it. How about “I’m A Cunt…..Shoot Me!”

    • I’d probably still be loathe to waste my time on it. I can’t think of a single aspect of this type of reality tv that would make me even consider watching it.

      • To be fair, John Lydon flat out calling the audience “fucking cunts” on a live broadcast when they didn’t vote him out was pretty fucking funny.

  5. Saw a trailer for this shite, a photo of each person, their name and what they do for a living.

    If they need to tell us who you are and what you do, you ain’t no celebrity….

    • They had Tory MP Nadine Dorries in there one year, I thought she might have coped quite well with the food after working with maggots and parasites. Pity John Bercunt didn’t sign up as rumoured as 90% of the country were hoping he would either catch Didgeridoo Penis Rot or get eaten by something.

      • Now I’d have watched that cunt get eaten by a Crocodile…as he was getting eaten he’d probably shout ‘Awduh, awduh, awduh’.

      • They should have took his slapper of a Mrs instead. Old Wrighty would have had a pop.

      • Kangaroo
        by D H Lawrence

        Delicate mother Kangaroo
        Sitting up there rabbit-wise, but huge, plump-weighted,
        And lifting her beautiful slender face, oh! so much more
        gently and finely lined than a rabbit’s, or than a hare’s,
        Lifting her face to nibble at a round white peppermint drop
        which she loves, sensitive mother Kangaroo.

        Her sensitive, long, pure-bred face.
        Her full antipodal eyes, so dark,
        So big and quiet and remote, having watched so many
        empty dawns in silent Australia.

        Her little loose hands, and drooping Victorian shoulders.
        And then her great weight below the waist, her vast pale belly,
        With a thin young yellow little paw hanging out, and
        straggle of a long thin ear, like ribbon,
        Like a funny trimming to the middle of her belly, thin
        little dangle of an immature paw, and one thin ear.

        Her belly, her big haunches
        And, in addition, the great muscular python-stretch of her tail.

        There, she shan’t have any more peppermint drops.
        So she wistfully, sensitively sniffs the air, and then turns,
        goes off in slow sad leaps
        On the long flat skis of her legs,
        Steered and propelled by that steel-strong snake of a tail.

        Stops again, half turns, inquisitive to look back.
        While something stirs quickly in her belly, and a lean little
        face comes out, as from a window,
        Peaked and a bit dismayed,
        Only to disappear again quickly away from the sight of the
        world, to snuggle down in the warmth,
        Leaving the trail of a different paw hanging out.

        Still she watches with eternal, cocked wistfulness!
        How full her eyes are, like the full, fathomless, shining
        eyes of an Australian black-boy
        Who has been lost so many centuries on the margins of
        existence!
        She watches with insatiable wistfulness.
        Untold centuries of watching for something to come,
        For a new signal from life, in that silent lost land of the
        South.

        Where nothing bites but insects and snakes and the sun,
        small life.
        Where no bull roared, no cow ever lowed, no stag cried,
        no leopard screeched, no lion coughed, no dog barked,
        But all was silent save for parrots occasionally, in the
        haunted blue bush.

        Wistfully watching, with wonderful liquid eyes.
        And all her weight, all her blood, dropping sackwise down
        towards the earth’s centre,
        And the live little-one taking in its paw at the door of her
        belly.

      • Fuck me I’m such an antipodean philistine. Reading it makes me wonder if he ever travelled to Oz I’ll google it later

      • Alright alright yes the authors name is written right after the title. I didn’t see it nor go back to check. I hereby acknowledge being a Fucking detail deficient shoot off the mouth dumb as fuck colonial. Get ME outta here.

  8. I saw the first 2 minutes last night, never again and for fuck sake Ian Wright, in the jungle for 400k when you could be at home trolling Spurs fans, bet your gutted now.

    PS Ian, have the balls to tell Caitlin she’s a geezer.

    • Maybe they’ll have a bushtucker trial where you have to run someone over with a sports car.
      Bruce, err, “Caitlin” will walk it…

  9. Aside from the fact that it’s shite for retards, there are three words that make me run a mile from this; Ant and Dec. No, make that four words; Cunting Ant and Dec.

  10. Never seen it. Never will. A parade of cunts presided over by cunt n’ cunt.

  11. What abaaaht Ant and cunt? That alchy who crashed into some poor cunt whilst pissed is apparently worthy of his career blossoming and even Santander have these pair of cunts in their adverts.
    I saw the slaphead (alchy) one in London ages ago and he looked like a depressed cunt… perhaps a candidate for suicide squad in ISAC.
    They can go fuck themselves.

    • Ive dodged this pile of shite year in year out, last time i saw it John Lydon was on it.
      Who watches this utter shite?
      Get a hobby or do something,
      Get on the moors an show hikers your willy like me, or start rockclimbing or oil painting, do something, anything, but dont watch a tranny eat maggots!
      Even im not that depraved.

      • Of those hobbies you mention, oil painting is not very popular round here.

        However Startlimg hikers in the manner you propose is all the rage!

      • Hi 3strokes!
        Yes as a sport its really gathering momentum!
        Hope its remembered i was a pioneer in this field when the new year honours are being considered!

      • Just back from the moors, freezing cold, aggressive old ladies with sticks, difficult to run with trousers around ankles but finally got back to leather clad air conditioned joy of the Range and obliterated a pair of cyclists – top form!

      • Another field report: Just now I was poking my semi rigid member out of a hedge at some ladies in Essex, and got it whacked with a cold dessert spoon by a Mrs “B”.

      • See VF its more fun than jogging eh?
        Heart racing, air to your goolies, adrenalin rush!!😁

    • Whats this cunt doing back on telly/criminsl justice system is a fucking joke^if ta average bloke got pissed and crashed his car he would be fucked unlike this wally/mind ya slebs get specisl treatment an big wedges of cash dont they

  12. An absolute cunt fest for cunts, staring cunts, watched by cunts and funded by stupid cunts, all cunts on every level C U N T S……and thats all i have to say about that

    • Perhaps next year they could tweak the format slightly.
      Have the shitshow on an island in the Pacific and ship some of them dark keys in that still live in stone age to liven proceedings up with skull cracking and cannibalism.
      Fucking tremendous.
      What a set of cunts.

  13. Youv’e missed two of the biggest cunts out….Tefal head drink driver and short arse .What a pair of talentless twats who are more annoying that sand in yer bellend.
    Gobshites!

    • LCD TV. As in, lowest common denominator telly. Predictable trash starring mostly unknown nobody cunts hoping to get taken to the nations idiots hearts, plus one or two vaguely familiar fuckwits, hopefully carrying some form of mental health issues, presented by a pair of failed child actors reading autocue. This years headliner is the world’s most famous drag act and parent to some of the most despicable human beings alive. The cunt thinks getting a face lift and some fake titties makes him a woman, something he’s always wanted to be. Yet, he’s currently banging a woman, so does that make him a lesbian in his eyes? No need for a strap on I suppose, but it hardly shows any real commitment to ‘becoming a woman’
      Let’s not forget (like the rest of the world seems to have) that this freak killed an actual woman in a car accident that was his fault, as he was fucking around with his phone. Got away with it too, the cunt. I suppose he can always compare driving misdemeanours with the bulb headed midget cunt at the wrap party.

  14. Any programme containing the word ‘celebrity’ is automatically ignored, as is any reality tv shite, cookery, gardening and home makeover programmes.
    Also children in need, red nose day, pride of Britain awards etc… all shite.

  15. I’m never worked out the “ entertainment “ value of watching a bunch of has beens and nonentitys sitting around in the jungle eating spiders, giant fucking maggots/grubs and kangaroo testicles? Endless hours of utterly banality interspersed when some cunt does something stupid like have scorpions attached to their bellend whilst staggering across a rope bridge all in the pursuit of winning some tucker for their Z list camp
    Mates…
    And if that’s not bad enough you have to endure those two fucking spastics ant and dec with all their little “ in “ jokes!!

    Entertainment this isn’t……
    Anybody watching this needs to get out more often….

  17. Watched one episode ages ago. Vacuous shite presented by Antondecanantandec or whatever. The only character I liked was the self proclaimed battleaxe Christine Hamilton.
    Apart from that, NAH.
    Now if they want to get sky-high ratings, they should zoom to a field of fresh graves where the cunts who left are buried, à la The Running Man.
    We can vote on the latest burial and recite kaddish (Jewish mourning prayers) live on arseaboutfacebook.

    Yisgadal, veyisgadash, shemay rabboh, fuckoff yakunt.

    Oy vey.

  18. The whole thing would be more interesting if they had no food on a dessert island. And had to fight to the death to eat each other.Now THATS ENTERTAINMENT!Acha cha cha cha.

  19. I did watch it about 15 years ago when some of the tits-out glamour models were on, and i hoped they might fight an eel or dive into toadspawn, but no such challenge was broadcast.

    • Stinky rebellion co-founder Roger Hallam must use say PR firm as prince Andy, hes getting friendly fire in the Guardian for describing the holocaust as “just another fuckery in human history” !
      Thats Rodger the soapdodger never getting a bar mitzvah invite ever again.

    • Personally I would prefer it if they were hunted down by the local aborigine tribesmen, that would be entertaining , probably be all over in half an hour

      • Sadly the local tribesmen are a pale imitation of the black tracking deadly woomera throwers they were say 200 years ago. But your premise may work if you starved THEM as well. Motivated by empty stomachs to hunt some nice white long pig

      • I used Pale imitation as a lazy idiom but on rereading it is appropriate regarding at least our urban aboriginals

      • Put it on South America in the middle of Jivaro territory. The only problem is that with the tiny brains, could their heads be shrunken any more?

    • Change your name to Irritation Yank.You seem to take great delight in having a go at other football teams other than your own. If it’s not Liverpool, I noticed it was Arsenal and Man U at the weekend.
      You are a bitter and twisted individual. Your beloved Spurs are in the shit at the moment. Concentrate on putting your own house in order. You’re not an immitation yank any longer, you’ve become one.

      • They’re going to find themselves even deeper in the shit now they’ve hired Mourinho. The championship next season then!

      • Bertie – We would remind you that attacking other contributors violates our code of practice. We do have some standards and rules.

        You seem to have a problem with IY. We politely suggest you get over it if you want to continue using the site

    • Sir Ian Wright to you. I know it’s not a great day to be a Spurs fan, think Levy’s saved Arsenal from the Jose pox for now.

      I was gobsmacked when I heard they fired Potch, was even more Shocked when Jose was named as his replacement, Spurs play flowing attacking football and Jose doesn’t.

      Spurs on the Bus.

  23. Kate Garraway has a voice and a laugh that make my fucking teeth itch the loud mouth twat.

  24. I once googled ” bald cunt and arse pics “, when feeling a bit saucy.
    When the search results came through, there were loads of images of the two media cockroaches that present this brain cell destroying tripe.
    Get To Fuck.

    • Evening Jack, you well?
      Enjoying these fresh frosty mornings, like this time of year!!
      Dogs made for snow n ice so its like its gone into 3rd gear, full of beans!

      Prince Andrews been in phone, fancy a beer? Had bad week, but ducking his calls, get the feeling hes ‘dodgy’?

      • Ticketyboo mate!
        Like this time of year, work as much as i can upto Christmas, then feasting, drinking, family, drinking, carols, drinking, stocking up for father Christmas, drinking…
        Hope we have a winter that people talk about for years,
        “Oh this is mothing, i lived through the winter of 2019, snow upto here!”

      • He’s a wrong un Miserable. He’s got tickets to a Little Mix concert and a 2 for 1 coupon from Pizza Express.

      • Evening LL, yeah ‘honourable Andy’ is best not called on to babysit eh?
        To much money, two idle hands, an nobody ever told him NO as a kid,
        Phil the greek should of taken his belt to him early on.
        Although he might of liked that!

      • Whats this little mix LL?
        Kids band? 2nd time this week heard that name!
        My 9yr old neice upset because she was ill and couldnt go see little mix,
        Never heard of em

      • A teenybopper group from another show with no sell-by date, BGT or maybe The Shite Factor. When did you hear it the first time? Maybe Creampuff mentioned its what Willie Stroker puts on when he is cleaning the silver.

      • First was Rtc saying he loved the band and was thinking of a tribute tattoo.
        He said they were torch carriers for the true spirit of raw rock n roll.

  27. Only ever watch this shite when I hear that some cunts are kicking off and having rows. Who wants to watch a load of wankers you’ve never heard of being nice to each other?
    I do remember Lydon and his “those fucking cunts” moment, that was a never to be repeated classic. I seem to remember he also described Katie Price as “a pair of plastic tits on legs” or something similar.

  28. Shoot the presenters, ones a talentless dwarf and the other is a drunk driver a pair of cunts and no mistake.

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