Cyclists 7

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May I nominate cyclists for a two wheeled sans stabilisers cunting please?
Why in the name of fuckety fuck to you get these Lycra clad arsewipes not pay attention to the highway code. You don’t really need to be cycling three and four abreast on a single carriageway road.

Do you even reallise my piss is boiling when you are doing your Sunday morning Cunt/wank fest?
Ride in single file, if there is a cycle path may I make a suggestion?
USE THE FUCKING THING.!!!
The cuntcils spend thousands putting the fucking things in, it’s not rocket science
to use it now is it?
When you consider the roads have not been updated for years, but the traffic volume go’s from strength to strength. surely you must realise that an object weighing over a ton travelling at 30 mph plus is going to hurt when it makes contact?
F.F.S wise up before you fucking get hurt.

Wankers

Nominated by CuntyMort

68 thoughts on “Cyclists 7”

  1. If it wasnt for cctv and road cameras the rates of hit and run incidents on cyclists would be massive!
    I know id do my patriotic duty and contribute!
    20 off the daft cunts dressed as wasps on a country road 3 or 4 deep taking up the road, dont pay road tax no consideration for other road users,
    And bolshy? If i rev my engine and beep my horn continually 6inch from their back tyre they stick up 2 fingers!!
    Cheeky twats!

    • Help MNC!! I’ve just posted probably the most non-offensive thing I’ve written yet on here and it’s gone into admin… they’re out to get me!! It’s fucking Skynet

      • Haha morning Cuntan!
        Youve just triggered moderation,
        Probably a word that contains’ cüm’
        In it, as in do cüm entary or something?
        Once through moderation itll appear,
        Your not being offensive enough maybe?😁
        Other words are qüeêr and pêodò and for some reason davîd byrnë?

      • Hiya MNC. No I’ve figured it out, it was “p*nce”, obviously has kiddie-fiddling connotations. Are you serious re the D*vid B*rne one?? Love me some Talking Heads (and some of his solo/Brian Eno stuff is ace as well)

      • Exactly. What the hell has D*vid B*rne done to upset anyone? Road To Knowhere, Slippery People, PsychoKiller, Once In A Lifetime. I could go on and on. The man is a musical genius.

      • Hiya fellas, yeah like you im a Talking Heads fan, dont know what hes done but moderation hates him?!
        Rtc will confirm it

      • David is not a trigger word.

        But pônce is.

        Dog knows why Byrné is.

        But I know why Héinz is.

        🎶 If I had a hammer… 🎶

      • Aha! I’ve worked out why Byrné is a trigger word! But I ain’t sayin’.

        Suffice to say it has something to do with ISAC internal politics…

        I have know idea who the fuck you are talking about

      • Maybe occurred before your time as an admin?… a couple of years ago if memory serves.

        I am probably the third longest serving admin, possibly second so unlikely.

      • Come on, give us a clue – some banned cunt or something??? Poor old David is blameless

        again fuck knows, there is often a lot going on in the back ground and as admin is off shore our servers are different to yours, ie my epic kick in the bollocks video is not available in the UK much to my annoyance

      • Does the name Dick Byrné ring a bell? I think he was a senior admin a few years ago.

        When he left, ALL his posts /comments mysteriously disappeared from the site, though his nominations remained.

        Call me a mad conspiracy theorist if you like. I’ll say no more…

        They are still here, they come in from an off shore server and have been posting since 2017 and not admin

        http://is-a-cunt.com/2019/11/uk-general-election-2019/comment-page-1/#comment-349882

      • Oh fuck, I was thinking of someone else: Mike Oxârd.

        Apologies to my friend and mentor Dick Byrné he’s reading this.

        I have a feeling that Mike may be reading it too…….

    • Bring back the penny farthing – there’ll be no problem avoiding cyclists on the roads then ….
      … as a bonus, bicycle theft will be eliminated over night, reducing everyones insurance premiums…
      ..you know it makes sense 🙂

    • Where I live the c*nts ride on the path assuming everyone will scatter, quite funny to watch some Henry Lloyd clad bag of weed and STD’s sliding along on their face wondering what the f*ck just happened!
      Bad Man I am

  2. I used to ride my bike to work for years, like to think that as I also drive a car and ride a motorbike I’m actually a considerate cyclist, in that you can always tell when traffic behind you is backing up cos they can’t get past – so I always used to either stop and pull in or – wrong, I know – temporarily go on the path to let the build-up past. As you say though all these sweaty, middle-aged, blackberry-faced heart attacks in waiting who ponce about in gangs of 20 in matching budgie-smuggling lycra fully deserve to be mashed up by the nearest HGV. Sound cunting.

  3. Fucking arrogant, self-righteous cunts. I almost have a stroke when I see the wankers cycling on the road next to an empty cycle lane, put in at a cost of millions to the tax payer, queue of traffic behind them, arrogantly causing chaos. Tour De France? Tour De Cunts more like.

    I reccomend this cunting to the house.

    I can imagine this team event did not go down well with the local narco cartel.

    https://www.flobikes.com/video/6561307-drug-bust-marijuana-operation-spotted-by-vuelta-cameras

  4. I used to ride my bike to work for years, like to think that as I also drive a car and ride a motorbike I’m actually a considerate cyclist, in that you can always tell when traffic behind you is backing up cos they can’t get past – so I always used to either stop and pull in or – wrong, I know – temporarily go on the path to let the build-up past. As you say though all these sweaty, middle-aged, blackberry-faced heart attacks in waiting who mince* about in gangs of 20 in matching budgie-smuggling lycra fully deserve to be mashed up by the nearest HGV. Sound cunting.

    *Naughty word list – I reckon it’s the word “p*nce”

    • What, as in “p*nce and the new power generation”? Shame, I never really found anything offensive about Little Red Corvette.

      • No, the artist formerly known as P*nce. Or a corpse as he’s more commonly known these days

  5. Cyclists are cunts anyway (one old boy near my house who looks like the original Steptoe goes out every Sunday morning in those fuck-awful lycra shorts, scrawny little shit) even worse are those motherfuckers who PRETEND to ride bikes via the TV set and the Peleton “Studio” – the little greasy arsewipe who jigs up and down wearing eye shadow and glycerine while he shouts “motivational” bollocks reminds me of Dame Keir. Probably has frequent rides on the chocolate escalator. His clients are chin keys and dark keys with too much attitude.

    • THANK you!! I thought I was the only one who wanted to kick the fucking telly in every morning when I catch that Peloton advert; “well done everyone, you smashed it” – I’d smash your fucking teeth down your throat with a fire poker you smug cunt

  6. Even worse than all those lycra clad cunts roaming around in gangs three or four deep are the bog standard, ordinary every day cyclists. The ones who go around wearing nothing but black and don’t have any fucking lights on. And then get all pissed off when you nearly hit them because you couldn’t even see them.

    I heartily agree with this cunting.

  7. We have these cunts in London all heading towards the City every morning in their lycra. So they are cyclist, banker cunts. I’d run the fuckers off the road if I had a car . Unfortunately im a cyclist ( non lycra) and a cunt.

    • Red lights feckin invisible to cyclowankers in central Cardiff…
      And just get off the feckin pavements.
      Cardiff isn’t short of cycle lanes.

  9. Of all the incidents I’ve attended involving cyclists, only ONE was the cyclist completely not at fault. One in twenty five plus years. That tells me all I need to know about these arrogant cunts.

    • Seems to me with a lot of them they get a kind of sense of invincibility, no doubt from their smug eco-wanking self-satisfaction; all well and good until it’s tested against a ton and a half of astra estate

  10. A few years ago, when coming back from the races,a friend of mine,Giles,a solicitor, decided as we started to overtake a female cyclist at some traffic-lights to reach out of the window and grab her tight little shorts-wearing arse as it bobbed from side-to-side. We drove a fair old distance with the young tart alongside screaming the foulest abuse at us….hardly very lady-like behaviour but pretty typical of the common types who tend to be push-bikers,I’m sure you agree.

    Fuck only knows what would have happened these days with those bloody camera things that they all wear.

    Fuck Off.

  14. From the platoon of lycra cunts who actually reorganise their formation to make legal overtaking by a m/c impossible (diagonals on centre strip), and, following the rev bomb and not-very legal overtake as close as possible* to the cunts, hastily rearrange again into single file…to the cunts every day in the road which has a clearly marked cycle path on both sides of it, to the cunts in dark clothing without lights after dark, to the clever cunt lying on his back on some sort of low-profile cuntmobile with a little flag and steering with his protuberant ears, to the mummy and daddy cunts with the cunt trailer for junior cunt, also with a flag, to the cunts with photoflash strobe lights confusing any traffic issue by blinding oncomers, I am pleased to have the opportunity of approving, underwriting and endorsing this cunting as one who has cunted those cunts before. Thank you.

    *If you won’t get out of my way I am fucked if I see why I have to stay out of your comfort zone. Cunts.

  15. Cyclists are cunts, especially when they’re armed with those head cameras, which means if pedestrians or drivers have a justifiable pop at them they can whinge about on social media after uploading the vid of the incident, and will plead all innocent that “It wasn’t my fault” bollocks.

    They have no idea regarding the Highway Code, or if they do they only adhere to what suits them; and they cycle all over the fucking road/pavements expecting everyone else to take responsibility that they don’t get knocked off.

    There are a minority of stupid cunts in every walk of life: cuntish pedestrians (and their fucking phones); cuntish drivers, and cuntish cyclists. But the latter really do take not only the biscuit but the whole fucking tin!

    • My attitude is that everyone is a cunt (present company excluded of course) until they prove otherwise. One bloke nearly proved it in 2004 I think but then turned out to be a cunt after all, otherwise still waiting

  16. I was driving around the other day observing my hoes as they earned my money and I noticed two cunts cycling in the middle of a busy road.
    They were both scruffy and one was a long haired hippy type acting like they owned the road.
    I noticed a gap a passed the cunts beeping loads and drive off, I then saw the long haired hippy cunt peddling for his life to catch me up.
    Due to traffic he did a said ‘Whats your problem you prick’ I slightly opened the door and he said ‘Oh look he has to get out’ and started riding off again. I couldn’t manoeuvre the car to get the slippery cunt due to him being on a bike so I had to shout at the cunt.
    Why do most cyclists have an attitude…is it because they are freezing their bollocks/cunts off whilst we motorists sit in comfort with the heater blasting aaaaht?
    I’ve recently bought a bike to keep fit etc but I’ll mostly stick to pavements and dedicated cycle track’s.

  17. What abaaaht those parents who ride their bikes around with a kid or two in a trailer attached to the back? Well out of order.

    • You just know the little cunts in those are called Jocasta or or Tristram or some cuntishness like that

      • If you want some higher education, the University of Is A Cunt is here to oblige. Our BA in Cunt Studies is recognised by major employers in the fields of policing, security and mercenary operations.

      • My sister went to school with someone called Veonora; back in the mid – late 60s. She had her two initials plastered on her briefcase. Sadly, her surname was Dean.
        A male foetus was once photographed in utero; he had a woody. Maybe taking the Oedipal Complex a bit too far. But, there again, maybe he had a yummy mummy. I well remember my in utero months – trying to avoid choking on slices of lemon, and olives.

    • Mummy and Daddy are invariably virtue-signalling ecocunts and read the Grauniad. But for the daily commute from Ely to London they drive a diesel SUV…one each.

  18. There was a insert on this article, ‘cyclist who knocked down woman while on mobile phone ordered to pay £105,000’

    These fuckers need to be licensed and identifiable just the same as cars and motor bikes, and they should have to be insured like every other road user.

    CUNTS.

  19. Off topic but I am feeling extra cuntish today cos one of my mrs’ lezza mates (you’d think there’s possibilities there, get some footage of a full-on lezz out session – unfortunately these are not your porn film lesbians, more the tattooed/pierced/doc marten wearing/ rough as fuck checked shirt types) rang to announce the happy news that they’ve been busy with the turkey baster again and one of them is knocked up with a second abomination. Cunts.

  20. I got in a stand up row with one of these arrogant cunts a while back. Close to my home there is a road that narrows into one lane next to a junction. There are signposts advising on-coming traffic has right of way, so i’m happily minding my own business going through in my old square shape Land Rover Discovery and low and behold, down thunders a cyclist, peddling furiously, desperately trying to shoehorn himself through a Rizla paper sized gap, going against the give way sign causing me to brake hard to save squashing him and then he chooses to hurl abuse at me.

    I’m of the opinion life is too short for getting involved in random disputes but this had me out of my door and face to face with this chap and when I mention about the him being not bright enough to follow a simple road sign he starts reeling off in a megaphone voice what academic achievements he has.

    “I have a B.A in Accountancy, Mathematics and Economics” he proclaimed, as well as yodelling out a long list of other on paper tokens, once at the end he looked at me smugly, chest puffed out and crowed “what do you have?” I moved in closer and in a calm voice said “I have a Land Rover and you have a pushbike, so use your BA in Mathematics to work out the probability of who will come off best if you chose to ignore that give way sign and I don’t see you, which is exactly what is going to happen if you ever do that again and it is me coming the other way, you fucking idiot”

    His face was a picture.

  21. I read the other day Drones now have to be registered. I would like to see similar legislation brought in for cyclists/pushbikes. There are none so brave as anonymous cunts who think there is no reproach. Give these cyclists and bikes some form of observable ID so the next time they swan through a red light etc they can be held to account, then watch the number of these incidents plummet! If they want to play sneaky those cyclists who don’t have ID or hide it can be fined. Perfect!

    • Number of people killed by private drones in the UK?
      Number of people killed on/by pushbikes in the UK?
      A no-brainer indeed.
      Registration dependent on passing a Highway Code test, just like everyone else on the road, and legal lighting at night. ‘L’ plates for pre-test pushbikers, too.

      I would also like to suggest indicator lights to replace the dying-swan wave and wobble which is often more notice than you are going to get when a cunt cyclist changes direction. LEDs take little current from a dynamo or battery, and the majority of cycle cunts already run a tail light continuously, so what’s the problem?

      • Oh, and mirrors. Approximately 1% of pushbikers have any idea of what’s happening behind them…mostly fury.

  22. Excellent work Mort. Cunt cyclists can’t be cunted enough.
    May I add a sub-category of two wheeled cunts to this nom? The other day I was nearly slammed into (on the pavement) as I came out of our local newsagent’s. It was a bird about thirty, who went whizzing past on one of those powered scooters. These things seem to be getting more popular with those cunts inclined to shoot about with disregard for pedestrians and other road users. I’m really looking forward to seeing a collision between one of these arseholes and a large Land Rover.

    its a regular thing, https://www.businessinsider.fr/us/youtube-star-presenter-emily-hartridge-killed-electric-scooter-crash-2019-7

    • Every other lardarsed citizen of the US bimbles about on these things, only a matter of time before our behemoths catch up to them

      • We visited Texas frequently when our daughter lived there, and you’d often see those weird, upright, two wheeled contraptions (can’t recall what they’re called) being ridden about, almost always by gross lardbags. I’ve yet to see one this side of the pond, but they always struck me as a potential menace. Given the combined weight of the gizmo itself and the fat cunt on it, I’d say that there was a likelihood of serious damage being done to anyone hit by one.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Segway

      • Fat bastards on scooters lol whatever next.did either of them have a seperate segway to carry the weight of his arse!

    • This is what comes of twats who never grow up… Transport and associated vehicles aren’t some sort of game and toys.
      Darwinism in action again.
      Can’t wait to see a load of pie-keys getting electrocuted when thieving electric cars, the bastards. Maybe their complaints alone will be enough to kill off the EV industry ? EVs cannot be allowed, because pie-keys might get killed in thieving of, and their (human??) rights thus infringed… I can see it coming.

  24. Neutral on this 50/50 for cunts on cycles and in cars, all I will say when on a bike once I chased a female motorist to give her an earful saying you nearly killed me only to be told ”I wish I had” !!!!, there will only be one injured party when the two collide, food for thought on both sides

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