Crowdfunding

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A planet Earth sized cunting please for ‘Crowdfunding’ sites, or more accurately, some of the pathetic, selfish, money-grabbing ‘ME ME ME’ bottom feeders with their paws stuck out.

I’m not having a go at people who turn to these 21st century begging bowls out of sheer desperation. I’ll forgive the couple who want to raise £150k for experimental treatment for their 4 year old with rare brain cancer, or the next door neighbour trying to raise 2k for the terminally ill girl to visit Lapland before her times up. Some of the £ targets of these worthwhile appeals are so reasonable, that most premier league footballers could fund them with the loose change down their sofas.

This cunting is for the intergalactic nerve some of these ‘poor me’ or ‘this is a great idea’ bastards have, in asking for £wonga from Joe public, because they can’t be arsed to work hard & save the dough, or make a sound business case & go knocking the banks door, like most self-employed had to.

Some of these wankers defy belief :-
Burntwood Alien Watch Tower – £25k wanted to build a platform to watch for Aliens visiting Cannock Chase – PHONE HOME, PHONE HOME !
Election Campaign Fund – want £15k to keep Jess Philips as MP for B’ham Yardley – GET FUCKED !
Candwich, the Sandwich In A Can – $100k to revolutionise food on the go. A long-life sandwich sealed in a coke can – WHY ?
Fish on Wheels – €40K wanted for the next thing in pet companionship. Who needs mans best friend when a goldfish bowl on a motorised tractor can follow you wherever you go – JESUS !

Nominated by Lord of the Rings

58 thoughts on “Crowdfunding”

      • Gold plated Cunt is due to get a £40K pension on top of whatever else the gropey Cunt has coming.

    • These kind of crowd Funders are cunts but far and away the bigger cunts are those that actually give them money!!!

      So

      “ excuse me I’m a cunt and want some cash”

      “ err how much?” (That’s definitely the wrong answer )

      Try again …….

      “ fuck off you cheeky sponging cunt I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire “

      That’s more like it ……..

  2. The goldfish tractor sounds good!
    Get Fiddler one for Christmas.
    Anyone wanna chip in?

  3. Cunts who don’t take out travel insurance when flying abroad; and then when something goes tits up – like medical bills or the hotel has gone bust, the cunts have the gall to “please crowdfund me and my family. We desperately need £10k to get back home. It’s not our fault!”

  4. I think there was a nomination on here, I don’t remember his name, for someone who set up a charity page because he took medication for his penis which gave him an erection and it was causing him discomfort.

    What a selfish idiot!

  5. ‘Begpackers’ pish me right off as well. Usually students who go on holiday during a gap year and can’t afford to get home, so they beg. Fork right off!!!

    • Some women even try ‘crowd funding’
      For breast enlargements or lip filling cosmetic surgery Spoons!
      All sorts of people out there wanting money they havent earned.
      Can understand it for ill children but not for vanity.

  7. If somebody want’s crowdfunding then where do you get the crowd from – amazon – John Lewis???

  8. Pay to keep Butch Phillips as MP?. I’d pay her to fuck off, but I think Granny Grieve tried a similar method since last week he asked his proles to stop sending him money. No doubt he bought himself some new clothes and is now strolling down Beaconsfield High Street in his gold lame’ pantie-girdle safeguarded by his heavy duty TenaLadies.

  9. Crowdfund me you bunch of cunts!

    I want/demand £5000 in order to get pissed out of my face over Christmas and New Year.

    I suffer from GretaThundercuntitis, and there is no known cure.

    • This is a bit like a sponsored piss-up. I’ll give you £10 for every bucket you can fill with sick. We can empty the contents on Prime Minister Corbyn’s head.

    • Techno, if we don’t fund you, will you get cross like Greta and say, “You are destroying my adulthood!” ? 😀

      • if you cunts don’t crowdfund me then yes I will become a mardy, whinging cunt constantly complaining about cunts fucking up my oldcunthood

  11. This horrible little Cunt was crowdfunded….

    https://metro.co.uk/2016/09/16/disabled-mugging-victim-offers-10-to-help-woman-who-raised-money-for-him-6132215/

    Since then the nasty abortion-bucket escapee has moved house another 3 times,losing a packet each time. I bet the fat lass who organised his appeal thinks twice before getting involved again.

    Most “crowdfunders” are lazy,stupid,feckless or irresponsible. Leave them to stew in their own juices. They caused the problem,let them live with their choices.

    The odd animal charities are the only ones who get a Penny off me..plus the Poppy lot and the Injured Jockey’s Fund.

    • Im confused Dick, only skimmed your post to be fair,
      But who’s that in the picture with you?
      Your neice or something?😉

      Now now, I feel an abbot expose coming on.

      • Sorry Admin, he knows im only teasing!
        Imm getting him a goldfish tractor to make up for it!👍

      • It’s a shame that I don’t look like that,Miserable. We could have joined forces and entered “Stars in their Eyes” as Joey Deacon and Alan Barnes sing The Macc Lads.

        Simon Cowell would be gobsmacked.

      • She wore big knickers and she worked at the sewage farm.
        Got my hands down her jeans and I nearly lost half my arm.
        But after ten pints, she looked quite fit,
        Couldn’t wait to get my hands on her flabby tits.
        So I said, Slap that and ride the ripples,
        I just got to get my gob round her greasy nipples.
        Flabby arse, sweaty breasts, thirty eight chins,
        she was a mound of flesh.
        Sweaty Betty, she eats a lot of pies,
        Sweaty Betty, she’s got enormous thighs,
        Sweaty Betty, have you smelled her breath?
        Sweaty Betty, she’d crush a man to death.

        I knew that she wanted me to shag her,
        so I stabbed her c*nt with my mutton dagger.
        I couldn’t believe the size of her bum,
        She used to play for Wigan at the back of the scrum.
        I’ve seen nowt like it since the day I was born,
        But you know me, I’ll shag owt that’s warm.

        Sweaty Betty, she eats a lot of chips,
        Sweaty Betty, she’s got massive tits,
        Sweaty Betty, she’s got a huge vagina,
        Sweaty Betty, you’d fit a bus inside her,
        She’s so obscene, three tons of margarine,
        She’s like a lump of lard
        But Sweaty Betty makes my willy hard

      • Wouldn’t it be lovely if Hermann Pohlmanns finest JU87 came and strafed these Motherfuckers while they were playing ring a ring a Rose’s in their safe places…

        Fuck him and his ilk…Cunt

      • Wrong fuckin thread…..what a fuckin Cunt, should be next door….The cunt that I am…

      • Hehehe!
        “You hum it I’ll seizure too it!”
        The spacc lads?😁

        Fuckin drowning down here Dick!
        Saying snows on way near you

    • Very noble of you Dick. I noticed last year that you were one of the main benefactors for the PDSF – The Peoples Dispensary for Sick Foxes.
      Your tireless efforts for charity will no doubt be rewarded in the upcoming New Years Honours List!
      😂

      • Oh I certainly would give generously to that charity…you can’t have a good day’s Sport unless the foxes are fit and healthy.

        Tally-ho.

    • Wow. I am truly flabbergasted.

      On the one hand you can’t help feeling sorry for him for what he’s been through. On the other hand, what a selfish, ungrateful little cunt he is. I hope he gets mugged again. Would serve the cunt right.

      • It not like he’s unemployable.
        He’s a shoe-in as a goblin in the next hairy potter flim, black him up and bingo there’s an orc for the next rings.

    • Does that extend to bumhole-injured sausage jockeys? Just thought I’d try my luck 🙂

  12. I clicked on that link and read it.
    What an absolute selfish can of can’t!
    According to the news item, he doesn’t work, his mother works two jobs to pay for his lifestyle. Him and his girlfriend are more of those internet influencers like that blonde lady who wanted a free stay at a hotel in Ireland, I think.
    Fork sake.

  14. Well, I was trying to get crowdfunding to have a giant Megain Markle balloon made and floated by her window! I got £100 from a couple known as Ginge & Cringe who thought it was a great idea?

  15. Can I have another crowdfund to do dastardly things to Catherine: Duchess of whatever’s arsehole?

  16. Burntwood Alien Watch Tower. To be erected overlooking the Straits of Dover, no doubt. I will subscribe if it is fitted with a missile battery.

  17. I’ve only just noticed – why are there no ethnically diverse people in that ad? I feel a crowdfunded court action for discrimination coming on

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