Britbox

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A nomination for Britbox if you please. Britbox is a new subscription streaming service created by the ever-desperate BBC, in conjunction with ITV. Note the word “subscription”; so we have to pay to watch programmes that we as licence-payers have already funded in the past, effectively making us stakeholders….

The main reason for this cunting though is that these woke wankers have stated that many of the classic comedy shows will be shown in a censored format to “avoid offending modern audiences”, including ‘Fawlty Towers’, ‘Porridge’ and ‘Only Fools And Horses’. Now there was some ribald humour in all of these, but can any of you cunts think of a single moment in any that’s “offensive”?? Jesus wept. Obviously ‘It Ain’t Half Hot Mum’, ‘Love Thy Neighbour’ and ‘Till Death Do Us Part’ have been explicitly banned already.

Selective editing of history; as I recall the Nazis were pretty big on that…..

Nominated by Cuntan the Cuntarian

66 thoughts on “Britbox”

  1. A thin end of a very thin wedge!

    Trouble is it won’t be just the old classics that will be censored to fuck. Anything right up to the #MeToo shite of a couple of years ago will be under the same microscope, but this time on more contemporary ishoos like homophobia, lezzaphobia, Transphobia, genderph….fuck it, just think of a fucking phobia, and it will end up being scrutinized and subsequently expunged from any show!

    Am surprised there haven’t been complaints regarding the name, Britbox – sounds a bit colonial and sexist to me. Get it banned because I am offended!

    • What ever they do it won’t be funny. I think the people who do these things are bitter about something in their lives and make the rest of us suffer. I am sure most of the nation could not give a fuck about the cunts, I couldn’t anyway.

  2. I was up in court this week after going into the library and setting fire to any detective based novels that didn’t feature any Belgian detectives.
    The magistrate has described me as a Poirot maniac….

  3. There are definitely derogatory references to the Germans, Spanish and French in “Fawlty Towers.”
    “All friends now” as Basil said of the then Common Market….” I didn’t vote for it myself but now we’re in i’m determined to make it work.” Oh the irony.
    Still i’m sure the BBC would approve of Cybil , a very strong woman by any standards. BASIL!!!

    • Went to Fawlty Towers many times when I was younger as it was just a mile or so from where I grew up. By then it was called Wooburn Grange Country Club, and had a great disco. I couldn’t go up the main drive without thinking of the sign saying “Watery Fowls” or “Flowery Twats”!. Amusingly it was in Buckinghamshire, and nowhere near the south coast!

      • Nope. Nor herds of wildebeest strolling majestically across the plains either!

        The building itself was in Bourne End, Bucks. The inside? Some tv studio somewhere. Not a seagull to be seen anywhere!

        P.S. Apologies for being a cunt yesterday, was having a bad day. No excuse, I know. You are fully entitled to your opinions, and just because I may not agree doesn’t justify me responding like a true wanker. Almost tempted to nominate myself for a cunting!

  4. Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.

      • Maybe not, but the past is being cleaned up nicely thanks to the likes of the BBC. The yanks think they won WW2 all on their own, while the snowflakes deny there even was a war. Stalin was Santa Clause with all the good he did for the left-wing cause. Anything great originated in Africa despite the white man’s attempt to keep the planetary population living in the trees.

      • Oh dear, that scene has got to go. Can you imagine the snowflake meltdown? Owen Jones could write a book about that scene alone.

      • Any news on the 3 accused that supposedly kicked this twat in the mangina, think they were supposed to appear at court on the 6th of this month ?

      • if the Major was around today he would be instantly branded a Brexiteering gammon, and will immediately find himself arrested for crimes against the “Card” players!

    • Classic sketch. Thanks for putting that up, gave me a right laugh.

      Wogs! There’s a word it would take a very brave person to use these days. Classic!

    • The Major to a woman with a small dog
      “Great Scott! What’s that?
      “It’s my lapdog”
      “Hrrmmmph can’t imagine that dragging down a reindeer”

  6. By ‘censored format’ I presume they will remove everything that made it remotely watchable in the first place.

  7. I would be interested to know if Twatbox will be showing American TV shows. Because if it does then I wonder if they will censor the acclaimed by hard-hitting crime detective show “The Wire”?

    Reason being is that everyone calls everyone else “Rigger”, even the riggers themselves! So it would be a massive contradiction if it wasn’t censored and riggers could say “riggers” with impunity

    • Aaah yes….the famous “fuck scene”. Not a chance in hell any of that would make it past our impressionable snowflakes!

      • Indeed… bet that scene with Bunk Moreland and McNulty looked weird written down on the script!!

      • I wonder how many takes there were – they must have pissed themselves laughing so many times! Pure television gold.

      • The Wire was God tier TV, up there with the Sopranoes and Battlestar Galactica.

        I can heartily recommend Top Boy on Netflix if you want a hit of something similar to The Wire, but set in London.

      • Thanks for the recommendation, I’ve not heard of that but I’ll check it out.

        Unfortunately I’ve already watched Breaking Bad and Dexter. I would have loved to be able to watch them for the first time again, both absolute classics..

        It’s funny, we are happy to slag off the Yanks (I have been known to), but with shows like The Wire and the two I just mentioned, along with many, many others, they sure can make some terrific tv programmes when they try.

      • I’ve got that El Camino on my laptop, must get round to that (spinoff with Jesse pinkman). Better call saul is really good but very different to BB

      • Not heard of it but if it’s one tenth as good as the wire it’s worth watching! Might look it up

      • “What the fuck did I do?”

        Good old Jimmy – am surprised Dominic West could pull of such a convincing Yank accent in the show. A great character, shame West is such a cunt these days though

  8. Shitbox will not be getting my custom. Surely these platforms are supposed to offer choice, not just another way to censor the past? Aren’t people allowed to make their own minds up on whether these shows were funny, or racist or sexist or all three? I’ve just watched a stand up show by Dave Chappelle on Netflix called sticks and stones, mostly because I saw that there was a lot of fuss about it being unacceptable as it had content that could be regarded as anti trans and homophobic, and generally poor taste. Obviously, if the snowflakes are melting over something, it might be worth a look. It was ok actually, but what was refreshing was that Netflix actually had the balls to put it on in the first place, and kept it there after the fuss.
    As for censorship, I wonder what the internet in the U.K. will look like if the Lenin/Stalin tribute act that is Corbyn and McDonnell get their hands on the levers of power? No wonder they want to nationalise it, as then they can control both the distribution and the content. I bet this site wouldn’t last long.

  9. @Krombupulous Cunteos

    Yes I have news of this regarding Owen Jones. The three men appeared at the Magistrates court on the 6th of this month, but it seems said magistrates deemed the charges in this case “too serious” to be dealt with by a lower court and the case has been passed on to Snaresbrook Crown Court!

    If things haven’t changed, the maximum penalty Magistrates can dish out jail time wise is six months, so the magistrates obviously think that if found guilty the sentence will be more than that.

    The only upside to all this waste of tax payers monies (my recent cunting of the Legal system springs to mind) is that these three men will be having a Jury trial, where the task of finding twelve people that don’t hate this horrible little self important, self promoting, pouting sissy’s guts will be immense and hopefully see all three men walk out scot-free, if they were able to keep their mouths shut and not give statements grassing each other up to try and save their own neck that is.

    • Thanks CFC.
      Astonishing, a jury trial, when he himself admitted that he was fine and he only had a small bump on his head and a cut on his back.
      What the fuck were his 5 lame mates doing when he was allegedly gettin leathered?

  10. Ah yes, as for subscribing to this watered down millennial biased Shitbox, I would rather get fucked by spiders!

    Fuck off.

  11. Why in the name of all that’s Holy would you pay for this shite when it’s been repeated over and over and over again.

    I honestly think that people must need their heads testing…..my daughter moved out, constantly moans they are skint but they pay Sky £60 per month to watch pure drivel.

    Pay TV is by the stupid, for the stupid and watched by cunts.

    • I don’t know, we have Netflix for less than £10 a month and there is a lot of new stuff on there, most of it surprisingly good too.

      I wouldn’t pay for a load of shitty, censored old repeats on Shitbox though.

  12. The sooner the whole of BBC is subscription rather than taxation, the better.
    Who the fuck would pay for this recycled, bowdlerised Britbox shite anyway?

    • I used to think that idea was terrible but now I am 100% in agreement with you Chief Cuntstable.

      Watching a full length broadcast on the beeb now accounts for probably less than 1% of our tv viewing. Unless there is a decent David Attenborough documentary the rest is just pure depressing shite.

    • That is the one redeeming feature of this that hopefully in time access to BBC services are by an option to subscribe rather than an obligation to pay. The BBC to my mind is one of the most corrosive influences on society, subliminally manipulating whatever it can in order that we are all in step with it’s own viewpoint, unfortunately it has had an effect

      • Absolutely spot on. It is nothing short of a national disgrace that we are required, by law, to pay for this left wing shit.

  13. Pay twice for the same thing and have it censored or not available at all?
    Fuck off you demented cunts.

  14. I’ve seen the ads for this Britbox lark on Yank telly. I assumed, in my infinite cuntdom, that it was specifically for the Yank market. I am absolutely appalled this is being offered back to the same Brits who paid the TV license to make these shows in the first place. You’re effectively paying these cunts to edit classic shows and effectively water them down. When has editing/censoring any of-its-time TV or movie actually made it better? I think we all know the answer to that.

    • I remember the hatchet jobs they used to do on films shown on TV back in the day, I think it was Die Hard that they substituted “melon farmer” for motherfucker….

      • Melon farmer? LOL. Good one, Cuntan.

        I am so sick of this creeping censorship bull shit. TV shows used to be TV shows. Then they introduced that stupid fucking rating system ala movie rating, so the audience could decide if it was appropriate for them. Then we got the warning at the beginning, ye olde ‘viewer discretion is advised’ nonsense. Now they’ve gone the whole hog and edited out completely anything which might offend as yet undiscovered tribes in the Amazonian rain forests.

        I’m sure they’ll find a way to make things even worse still. Cunts.

      • Harry Enfield did a sketch years ago taking the piss out of UK censors; I think “muddy funster” was another one

      • Those Chomley-Warner sketches were absolute genius.

        ‘Women know your limits’ and the sex education one were bloody hilarious.

        I think Harry Enfield (back in his hey day) wrote and starred in some of the funniest stuff I’ve ever seen.

      • That is something I do give Sky credit for, films shown on Cinema are, in my experience, the whole, unadulterated film.

  15. FFS!!
    I’ve got an image of basil fawlty goose stepping ( legs airbrushed out) and instead of shouting “ don’t mention zee war “ a far more conciliatory basil talking calmly saying “ let’s not talk about our small misunderstanding “ Cunts!!!!

  16. I’d like to start a new tv channel, it would be called “Fuck PCTV”. Anyone care to subscribe?

  17. Film reruns will also now be censored on TV imo.

    I watched ‘Goodfellas’ the other night with the Mrs as she hadn’t seen it. We watched the original uncut version on our IPTV catch up service.

    One scene has the main character saying to his wife “You know who goes to prison, Karen? N….gger stick up kids because they fall asleep in the get away car.”

    It has Joe Pesci’s character saying to a black dude “I thought you’d have one of your ‘bitches’ here with you.”

    His girlfriend says she likes Sammy Davis Junior and says that she can see how a white girl could fall for him. Joe Pesci’s character says “What? You mean to say you’re into that shit?” (meaning mixed raced couples). He also says he wants to put a stop to her thinking like this before he ‘ends up kissing Nat King Cole’.

    I doubt any of those scenes would make it in now.

    • Casinos good 1997 /didnt work with scorcese fir a while .look out fir irish man coming up pacino/de niro ^pesci itl be on netflix apparently.

  18. Reemah Sakaan, senior ITV executive responsible for launching the service: ‘The great thing about On Demand TV is that nobody is forcing you to watch anything.’ Oh the fucking irony!

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