Black Friday (3)

Posted on by

‘Black Friday’ is up for a pre-yuletide cunting

Black Friday – a name which suprisingly hasn’t been nixed by the social justice elite – is one more in a long line of forced Americunt imports. Instead of being just a day of shopping sales pre-Christmas as outlets move to shift final stocks of certain goods, it has become a fucking fortnight of build-up, designed to maximise the fleecing of shopaholic simpletons of their benefits cash.

For me, the accursed phenomenon came into focus a few years ago, when the famous footage appeared on the news depicting dinudnuffins savagely beating each other over the cornrows to get the last discounted Blaupunkt TV from Tesco. I mean, I wouldn’t even punch my most hated rival over complete detritus like a fucking Blaupunkt TV, but I guess a sale is a sale, right?

Admittedly, come Friday morning, yes, I will get a few things online; namely a cut-price TV stick which I was considering buying full price anyway and a reduced-cost Eurosport annual subscription – that’s it. Things I wanted regardless of Black Friday, things I will extensively use and hence, legitimate bargains. But just who in their fucking right mind wants to traipse into circles of retail hell like Westfields West London or Bond Street, just to get into an eternal scrum over some Michael Kors shite or a tub of Body Shop “£1 off” ultra-perfumed chemicals?

Just like Hallowe’en went from a bit of a kids treat to a full-blown fucking national holiday, so to has this shite from across the pond infested the media-driven hype machine to stir the spending fervour of every fucking simpleton in the land. Hopefully a few morons will plummet over the 8-storey escalator in Westfield’s John Lewis. I suspect however that still won’t stop them, the fucking insidious cunts.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

50 thoughts on “Black Friday (3)”

  1. I have just had a Black Friday offer of airport parking for £5 more than the original quote. I snapped the fucker up, naturally.

  2. Superbly put cunting.
    I must admit thoroughly enjoying all those multi hued tar babies viciously assaulting each other over tat.
    A perfect illustration of their sub human mentality.
    Although these American imported cunt marketing schemes are for cunts the fighting has been a boon to brighten up many dreary news bulletins.
    Fuck em.

    • Black Friday is a scam – I was looking for a black last Year and could I fuck find one for sale!

      Oh well, better hang around the Kent coast with a dinghy spotter

  3. Black Friday, is so totally bogus by and large.

    Retailers ramp up prices weeks before, and then discount on BF, so that the mug punters think they’re getting a big deal, when in actual fact they were probably no better off before the original price rise.

    True, there are bargains to be found, but again retailers know that when you make a genuine discount on a genuine item it will get a shit load more shoppers in your store that can then be fleeced with fake discounts on other goods.

    Retailers aren’t mugs – only the desperate punters.

    • This ought to be banned!
      I was really excited last time and got into the spirit of it!
      After blacking up and dancing into the store doing jazz hands i was taken by security and banned for life!!
      Inclusive my arse!
      You try and join in and get aggressive behaviour and threats of arrest in return,
      Black Friday can go back ti where it came from.😟

      • Like I said, total scam – I wanted a black last Year and despite emailing every major retailer all I received was abuse and some scurrilous accusations of racism!

  4. It should be called ‘Spend you fucking cash on shit you don’t really want’

    There are sales and offers virtually 365 days per year, Black Friday is just another sale for the silly cunts who can’t wait to throw their cash away.

    CUNTS.

  5. BLACK Friday……. WAAAYYYYCIST. Waiting for the inevitable cunt to make the usual accusation, probably that shit-for-brains cunt, Lammy.

  6. Just hope for all our sakes, December 12th doesn’t become Red Thursday or we are well and truly FUCKED. Merry Fucking Christmas and a visit to Comrade Santa’s Gulag, toiling for the Red Leader under the watchful eye of his “free” always-on people’s Broadband. #ShitForTheMany

  9. Great cunting.

    I don’t care how cheap things are (which they aren’t anyway, as the fuckers marked them up before their so-called ‘discounts’) I would rather skewer my own eyeballs out, roll them in breadcrumbs (with the help of my guide dog) and serve them up as ‘fancy stuffing’ for an annoying relative at the Xmas dinner table, than fight with a bunch of chavs over some shite article.

    These dumb cunts need a slap.

  10. I remember the good old days when “black Friday” was reserved for financial catasrophe.UK Personal debt Is just £1.6 trillion.so nothing changes. Cunts.

  11. Katie Price Won’t be buying much on Black Friday ,she has just been declared bankrupt.

    I’m sure she has a spade which she could stick on eBay for a few quid

    • She’ll find some scheming way to back in the limelight! Probably bring out another fucking autobiography, or sell herself onto another round of I’m a Celeb/Big Brother bollocks.

      No doubt her accountant will be “creative” in terms of where her money is kept (not in this country one suspects)

    • Selling the fucker for kebab meat would net her a Knightsbridge maisonette. Either that or rent him out as an anchor for HMS Queen Elizabeth.

    • Someone reminded me the other day about Joey Deacon. People always used to say “you Joey” and make a noise (which I can’t spell) and flipper like movements.

      • Mrs B mk III is a spastic, though a very functional one (masters degree in child care and special needs).
        I bought her her Joeys book (Tongue tied) she can relate too a lot of it, she was one of the first special needs kids to go to a main stream school, always wanted to be like the other kids but couldn’t be for obvious reasons.
        Some of the things she has written herself are quite heartbreaking but she sums it up simply by saying she has never known another life, she has always been that way and knows nothing else.
        Its rather difficult for me as I have my own recent medical problems and am in intermittent pain, Pain is a private thing and we all have our own thresholds, I don’t know if my occasional pain is worse than hers so its a game of stiff upper lip, although I think she has a rough idea whats going on, I never used to have to down 3 tins of stella to be able to walk the dogs (walk).
        Violin time all over.
        Her neighbours were cunts though, they bought her roller skates when she was a kid, she loved them but fuck did she hurt herself a lot with them.

      • No I am fine, its one of those things and I am pretty thick skinned, I only cry behind a locked toilet door with the radio on.

  13. Black Friday….skint Saturday.

    Don’t buy shit you dont need.
    Dont get involved. It’s a retailer’s game.
    Don’t play their game….

  14. How i laughed when a mong on benefits went on a rant when i mocked these cunts on flakebook.
    ‘What do you know about being poor?… followed by about 25-30 lines of self-pitying drivel
    I told the the twat to get a grip, and a job.

  15. I just couldn’t imagine going to Westfield Stratford on Friday – it will be like Planet of the fucking Apes.

  16. And then the retailers moan about no-one spending in the run up to Christmas. Well, you can only spend it once. I’m so fucking sick of all this Christmas shit – told everyone we’re not doing presents this year. Give it to charity if you want, but we’re not spending. All the cunts in the shops can fuck off.

  19. Top cunting. Cheap shit on tick from nasty Chino factories retailed for the urban underclass to rack up more credit debt.

  20. A masterful cunting.

    Never bought anything in a Black Friday sale and never will.
    Mostly just another way of diddling gullible cunts out of their disposable income.

    Watching the fuckers come to blows over a microwave or a television leaves me despairing for the future of mankind.

  22. It’s an American calendar event, nothing to do with the UK at all. the day after Thanksgiving in the USA, a day which has no significance in the UK. Never heard of in the UK until a few years ago with the appearance of Youtube vids of hard up out of work USA tea making, piano pushers (PG Tips crew) stomping on each other’s heads to grab a cheap electrical product (aka Electric Bling)!

    Over here though, campaigners are pushing for other ‘inclusive ‘ sale days to follow Black Friday, so from next year they’re proposing a Sanitary Towel Saturday – Somali Sunday – Muslim Monday and a Tranny Tuesday, but White Wednesday has already been called off due to being oppressive, protests regarding that will be held on Thursday.

  24. It’s only called black friday coz it’s an excuse for a load of Mammys to fight eachother over a shitty pair of Dr. Dre headphones live on TV.

  25. Actually, I’ve managed to save £300 quid so far on leccy products because of Black Friday.

    Don’t forget to keep an eye out for White Monday. This is where retailers charge you double with the additional profits going to fund BAME projects…

Comments are closed.