Rory Stewart


A very important cunting please for a very important little man, who has many important things to do (in case you haven’t cottoned on yet – he’s important) Yes 5 foot 2, eyes of blue, Rory Stewart is to stand down as an MP to become an “Independent” (that fucking word again!) candidate for London Mayor:

Mr Stewart, it will be recalled, is that little man who came from nowhere (soon to return there) as a Gerry Anderson-inspired Remainer puppet, as a would-be Conservative leader three short months ago. He is another “I’ll pretend I want a deal” bloke in the mould of Theresa May-Not. He soon got his marching orders, as he will no doubt will in the Mayoral contest – he isn’t black, he isn’t a woman, and he is a bit posh. No chance in Tower Hamlets.

Seriously, why is it that little men like to pretend they are big? Just as Lady Hilary Benn is the direct equivalent of Dominic Grieve, so is Rory to Gaylord Adonis – opposing parties, but with a great deal of self entitlement (and too much optimism)

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

52 thoughts on “Rory Stewart

    • Rory wants to help Londoners. Well, hang yourself from Tower Bridge – that will cheer them up for a start.
      He could never wear the gold chains anyway. Their weight would crumple him like a fiat uno.

      Hobbit like Cunt..
      ..or should that be, Goblin like Cunt ?

      Whichever, primarily a fucking Cunt

  1. I suspect Rory will be around for years. He is a minor league cunt at the moment but has potential to be a major league cunt.

    Mayor of London? Maybe, he has flown his remainer credentials for all to see and there must be many london cunts who are sick of khant but won’t vote for a Tory.

    Maybe David Lammy will stand against him? If he’s not leader of the Labour Party by then.

    • Bloody Spellcheck.


      Blamby will no doubt be leader of the universe, sitting astride the Empire State Building, swatting at aeroplanes. Nicking my niece’s job.

    • I thought David Lammy was busy playing a Jazz sax player (or is that Jizz sax player) in the latest BBC WW2 rewritten farce ?

      “I’d walk a million miles, to Act the Cunt that I am.. I’m Laaaammmmmy !”

  2. Sired by Mick Jagger when visiting the set of a PG Tips advert, this junkie-cheeked goon has managed to avoid work his whole life, even “travelling” in the Middle-East (kissing Sheik arse and smoking poppy chillums) yet still squeezes in time to tell the plebs what to do and chimp his loyalty to the Reich.

    I abhor animal cruelty but somebody should call the Zookeeper and have this empty-eyed simian put to sleep.

  3. Nice cunting ! This sad sack of shit, with the dress sense and appearance similar to that of a recent absconder from a paedo ring is a complete and utter fruit cake. Thank fuck we narrowly missed the opportunity to have him as our Prime Mincer.
    This geek faced Alfred E Newman of MAD fame would be far better employed in a most useful capacity as Official Town Window Licker.

  4. Oh a wonderful cunting indeed , this little shit smear is the most vile slimey back stabbing traitorous imp to come out of the conservative s in a long time.

    Looking like a escaped Wallace and gromit figurine and his head full of as much clay to boot.

    He always goes against the ppl and always looking out for himself first and foremost . Glad he has gone independent means when he loses we will be rid of the undersized gimp.

  5. Whilst awaiting moderation outcome, may I add he looks recently “rogered” and if not, should employ a Style Guru and a Dresser. ( Sloppy cunt ! )

  6. I am in no way a leftie and you would have to put a gun to my head to vote for Catweazle and his llk, but my opinion is that posh toffs like Stewart really have no place in politics whatsoever. They simply cannot understand, empathise or really COMPREHEND the issues that ordinary people face on a daily basis.

    How can they when they are born with a fucking silver spoon in their mouths?

    Bill paying? – What’s that?
    Making ends meet? – a totally alien concept.
    Getting your child in a decent State school and mega class sizes – one doesn’t have that problem at Eton.
    Access to even basic NHS services – no waiting lists with private, darling.
    Policing – no crime issues in South Kensington or one’s country pile in Gloucestershire.

    These are just a few examples of how these cunts cannot work for ‘the little people’ without any kind of tangible concept of their daily lives.

    Stewart has spent almost the entirety of his life thus far stepping from one level of privilege to the next. No amount of black hand shaking and selfies taken with ‘the great unwashed’ will make him any more in touch with the man or woman on the street.

    Just like most Politicians, he hasn’t got a fucking clue.

    • This is also the reason why they have Brexit on their hands.

      They drone on about free movement and its benefits because they will never have to live near or brush shoulders with most of the good folk who have swarmed here from Eastern Europe, Africa and Asia.

      If they had to give up the lofty smug perches they sit on and live in the real world they may change their mind.

      • 100% agreed Spanky.

        You are so right. They have the option to avoid living with and amongst that bullshite…we don’t. We have to just suck it up and get told that this is the “wonderful, cosmopolitan country we live in” and we should be accepting of that.

        They have no clue the shit that is brought to our doorsteps.

  7. Sanctimonious ugly cunt, when he was on the TV, taking part in the tory leadership debate I felt like smashing my television.
    He is up there with maybot in the foulness stakes, horrible horrible cunt, I would need plastic surgery to get the smile off my face if he died.

    • Just to boil my piss even more the two old wimmin were on Wireless 4 World At One today – Mary Ann Grieve and Hilary Gladys Benn. What will they do when even the BBC are as sick of them as we are ? – perhaps they might commit suicide to draw attention to themselves – we can but hope. A pity Tony Benn didn’t just have a wank that night in 1953.

      • Madames Grieve and Benn are like an menopausal version of Hinge & Bracket though without the looks or humour.

  8. During an interview I heard him say that he served the country in Iraq/Afghanistan (or some other shit hole), I assumed he meant that he was a front line soldier which surprised me and I thought he deserved some respect for that.

    in fact he was a diplomat/governor. CUNT!

    • Yes, playing dress-up on one-day camel trips to the Dope valley where he could take photos for his Instagram account and learn how to say “Hello”, “Alláh be praised”, and “One goat please” in Arabic or Urdû.

  9. I think he was on a mental health advert last night (at the moment, there’s so much of it in the meejah, I suspect it’s “Buy one, get one free”) pretending to be the Emmerdale chef. A jub he’d really struggle to cope with, 5 minutes and he’d be blubbing into Charidee’s apron.

    I think I read that some right-thinking Romans hanged an effigy of the Sick Kiddie of Sweden over some bridge parapets…

  10. He’s a cunt on so many levels. Starting with a well-connected pa, Eton and Balliol (PPE, what else?), he instantly became a diplomat, and after walking round Afghanistan for a couple of years and writing a book, pops up as deputy governor of two Iraqi provinces. Known in Iraq as ‘Florence of Arabia’ – not so much for his expertise as his manner – he is then given a leg up to a Tory safe seat. It seems to have been influence all the way, even including association with royalty as an informal tutor to the saintly Diana’s children. Then, realising that he is about as likely a candidate for leading the Tories as Rosa Luxembourg, he takes a hissy fit and buggers off.

    He’s proposing to contest the mayorship of London with Sadiq Khan. Who is, of course, a Muslim, and a remainer. These are both well-represented in most of London…Stewart needs a selling point here. He’s a remainer, too, and being in many respects a white wimp might sell him in Hackney, but elsewhere might be more problematic. What’s a guy to do? Ah! A guy can come out. As very nearly Jewish…

    ….a mamzer Jew, but hey.

    And all those Labour voters, many of them Muslim, are going to vote for him? The Tories he’s left? The Limpdumbs, if they’re fielding a contender? What an absolute delusional cunt.

      • Not all Jewish. So I can slag him off without offending the Israelites…can’t I?

        Developing the Stewart =Blair placenta theme (below) I really shouldn’t point out that Blair’s first recourse in funding the Office of the Supreme Leader back in 96/97 was to schmooze rich Zionists via his chum Michael Levy. A tried and tested starting point for aspiring centrists.

        But I didn’t, did I?

      • Don’t worry. Despite his Jewish connections he is eminently easy to slag off otherwise… as has been amply demonstrated over the past 6 months.

  11. Rory Stewfart is on overrated little prig. Just because he farted around in Afghanistan for a few years, fucking dirty smelly Afghan women and goats with his needle sized prick, he thinks he can behave like Laurence of Arabia. Good riddance to the cunt. I don’t think he’ll be elected Mayor of London anyway – the Peacefuls will not take kindly to his years oppressing their “ bruvvers” in Afghanistan.

  12. With a name like Rory Stewart you would expect him to be a hairy Highland He-man chucking cabers and sharpening his claymore for the next Sassenach victim. In fact he´s a wee twee English nyaff whose Scottish ancestry has been diluted by all the piss beer and weak tea they drink down there in those soft English climes. Check out this example of something similar from Hancock´s The Blood Donor. It´s around the 12:30 mark.

  13. The most plausible explanation of the cunt’s existence is that Blair’s afterbirth survived and grew a face.

  14. Ah, Bubbles the chimp boy, the ape who fell in love with himself at the age of 12 and has been faithful ever since. What a slimy piece of posh remoaner shit.
    One of his greatest admirers is James O’Shithead, who loves Bubbles almost as much as he loves Blair. You can see why….they have so much in common. Both poshboy champagne socialist wankers who worship at the altar of the EU. Both hate their country and their own countrymen with a passion.
    Bubbles will get a few libtard votes, like the Greens, but he is the wrong colour to be Mayor of Londonstabistan. I think he knows this, it’s all about publicity and media attention for Bubbles.

    • He is going to do a thirty day walking tour through all 32 of Londonistan’s boroughs. Lets hope his passport is up to date as brave Rory ventures into Somalia, Pakistan, Turkey, Poland, Afghanistan…..

      • Yeah, during the daylight with a camera crew. After dark, on his own, I don’t think so. He may as well have a big neon sign on his head…..
        “I am posh, rich and soft as shit. Stab me and help yourself.”

    • The chimp will, however, split the Tory vote. The Tory candidate, Shaun Bailey, is a man of common sense and the right colour (blick), though wrong religion to suit the peacefuls.

      • What have you done with your butler Willie Stroker, Creampuff? He’s not been on here for a little while, has he got that Brexit-psychosis that’s been going around and confined to staff quarters at the Manor?

  15. This feeble looking cunt, the pictures of him in a kilt, like someone made a cindy doll out of old pipe cleaners and sack cloth. That air of superiority he has, doesn’t endear him at at all. Cunt.

  16. Why the fuck is Rory Stewart balancing a plate on his head? Is he about to run off to a circus?

  17. Looks uncommonly like the long lost brother of the millibands, as I toddle of to the alehouse tonight I will be hard pressed not to step onto a turd the equal of this cunt, fuck off

  18. As a fully paid up Highland wifey born and bred on the Isle of Skye, I take offence at someone suggesting that Rory Stewart sounds like one of us! Get tae fuck…..that wee fud is about as Scottish as that fat orange prick in the White House. I actually prefer the orange one. Aye, he’s dumb as fuck and arrogant in the extreme, but at least he’s not a posh, soggy-biscuit munching gimp prick with the personality of a slug. Naw, we have Ruaraidhs up here – Rory is a posh name saved for rich cunts. I guess his surname is Scottish enough, but it still makes me annoyed that the wee fanny exists at all. His daddy should pulled out and saved us all the bother. By the way, I’m not an English hating cunt either. One of my best shags was an Essex boy….well, a 40 year old Navy diver, but you get the idea…..

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