Unbelievable. I’d like to cunt American rounders. Man with big glove does what crickets do with bare hands.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/baseball/50028101
For fuck’s sake, play a fucking game which you need balls to play.
American rounders is so shit, but why do people watch it? You don’t even have to bowl to the fucking batsman. You can bowl four no balls on the trot and they walk to 1st base so you can bowl to a shitty batsman and get him out. AND THAT’S a fucking sport? Only a brain dead cunt would watch that. I’d prefer to watch a five day match ending in a draw, but at least you have to get the cunts out.
Because so little goes on in a match, there’s time for adverts and endless stats that mean nothing. It truly is the fucking shittiest sport there is. Except cuntbasketcuntball. Why oh why does this drivel get so highly paid and watched?
Out of interest it’s the easiest fucking game in the world. Just loop the ball between the fielders. Play cricket shots with their stupid round bat. I never once got out it this stupid game with people pitching 85mph. Admittedly, it is faster in their top leagues, but you try hitting a cricket ball at 85 bouncing of the surface and keeping your teeth or scrotum intact. The best defence is a solid boner, but you can’t run quick singles without a waddle, and your just asking for a counting from the Aussies, either that or criminal carpentry insults will ensue.
Nominated by dingly
With you having tried this game, it’s a wonder you’ve still got your danglies, Dingly.
9
You’ve got to take into account its in the good ol US of A, played ,watched by yanks, who even on a good day are like a Englishman whos suffered a brain injury.
Yes its basically rounders, as played by junior school kids here, but theyd never understand cricket.
The other big spirt they like is ‘football’
Which is like a Health&safety officers rugby.
Babe Ruth is the most famous baseball star, girls name, fat cunt.
Best just humour them theyre ‘not right’.
14
“Health&safety officers rugby” – that’s too funny! Nice one MNC.
I love slagging off the gay NFL to the local Yank population who are really into it – especially those that slag off proper football. I always lure them in with this argument about the darling of any NFL team – the quarterback. It goes like this:
Me: So you’d agree that a quarterback who can throw the ball 30 yards to a receiver, but not where the receiver is when he throws it but rather where the receiver will be by the time the ball arrives perfectly within his grasp as he runs full pelt to catch it.
Yank: Yeah.
Me: You consider that takes incredible skill and accuracy then?
Yank: Yeah.
Me: Well try doing the same thing, but over 60 yards using your foot instead. Now shut the fuck up.
Yank:
5
Welcome IY!
If im honest theres probably a lot of skill involved, and as long as people enjoy it, no issue, but being ignorant of facts has never held me back before mate! Haha😉👍👍
2
Hi MNC –
I’m sure there is skill involved. It’s such a messy game to my eye. Plus the season only lasts about 3 weeks, played by players who are about as ripped at you can get. Why? “Plays” last for about 10 seconds, then everyone stands around chatting with their mates for 5 minutes. I don’t get why they need to be that fit. It’s a weird one. Lived here for almost 20 years and still don’t ‘get’ American sports. Ah well. Cheers – IY.
4
The tailgate party in the carpark, sorry, car lot probably sounds like the best bit. A good feed and some beers to null the boredom of what is hours play stretched out to four.
2
IY, went to watch a game in Tampa. Players on the field all hung around for five minutes waiting for the zebras to make a decision, then play started, everyone stood up and you couldn’t see a fucking thing. Most entertaining part was when two women were slung out by security for fighting.
3
LL – Yes indeed, ye olde tailgate party is a big thing here. So much so that people show up to them in their droves who don’t even go into the stadium to watch the game. Most of the games are shown live on TV, so they’ll sit in the car park (parking lot – ugh!), inhaling enough food to feed the third world forever and watch the game which is being played in the stadium right next to them. Yanks huh?
3
Hi Alan –
It’s a wonder to behold, isn’t it? First game I ever saw was back in 1990. Minnesota Vikings vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I did not know any of the rules so was mortified when all the players buggered off only to be replaced by a new set of players. At the time I thought that’s a lot of fucking substitutions. Then the guy next to me explained the defensive unit was being replaced by the offensive unit. Who knew?
The other thing I remember was this guy on the sidelines wearing huge orange gauntlets. He would raise his arms up and everything would stop. Players would stand around, refs would chat amongst themselves, etc. Comes to find out, he was the ‘commercial guy’. On his signal, the game would stop dead in its tracks so the TV network showing the game could run a commercial break! You couldn’t make it up!!!
6
You take care out there IY the yanks are nice enough but bit mental,
Enjoy yourself mate and always walk with pride, your one of gods own..
ENGLISHMAN!!😉🇬🇧
4
Too true, MNC.
I’ve been eligible to convert my Permanent Residency to US Citizenship for many years, but I don’t bother. Mainly because I wish to remain an undiluted UK citizen. Dual citizenship is a cop out. Many do it if they have children which I don’t. The other reason I don’t bother is the cost. Last time I checked it cost around $900 to go through the process AND you have to take a citizenship exam! Most Yanks I know know fuck all about their own country. Yet a non-citizen gets charged an arm and a leg to join up, gets quizzed in the process and all the while illegals flood into the country for free. Nah – not for me.
5
Cricket is a proper dangerous sport that so many clowns think is boring as fuck. Players actually lose their lives in this game.
A 95mph cricket ball to the neck tends to smart if you haven’t managed to smash it at greater speed into the daft cunt stood 10 feet away with a little helmet on.
Then again he doesn’t give a fuck and probably catches it despite having 2 fingers dislocated in the process.
5
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatalities_while_playing_cricket
It’s a gentleman’s game.
1
Baseball is wank compared to cricket, not least because every player and his dog wear those huge glove things in the outfield; whereas in cricket – other than the wicket keeper – you have to catch the ball with your bare fucking hands!
6
Proud to say I bagged many a cunt whilst stood on the boundary ; ball practically coming down with snow on it. But the worst by far is standing in the covers during an early season April game in the teeth of a howling freezing north gale when the batsman drills one right at you.
Funniest thing I ever saw was when a fielder winged the ball in hard and out of the sun; it bounced off a drain cover and accelerated into the fielders knackers. Christ he squealed like a pig and took a good 20 mins to resume.
Cricket is NOT a game for pansies!
4
Damn right, taken a few in the pods over the years and bust two fingers in one innings keeping to one of our fast bowlers… fucking violent bastard with the ball who could late swing the fecker as well! But surely one of the most beautious sight in sport is a batsman in reciept of the fiendishly directed and perfectly concealed in-swinging Yorker a la Waqar Younis where yer batsman goes down arse up in an hilarious tableau of splintered stumps, shattered meta carpels, and eternal embarassment.
1
Beautifully described CC. That Pakistani team were out of this world. Not only Wakar but Wasim Akram, Imran Khan. The opposition didn’t know if they were coming or going. Much more thrilling than the Windies ever were. Lost all interest after that team.
2
Waqar of course.
0
Don’t agree with you 100%, base ball is a difficult game to master and has a high level of skill and it is part of the american way of life and if they enjoy it so be it, at one time in this country you could pick up the american forces radio network and in the small wee hours listen into the local broadcasts of the major league baseball games, I found them quite atmospheric and the radio announcers were good in giving you a sense of being there
3
Whilst I think that cricket is a far more cerebral game than baseball I think that the yanks are brilliant at marketing their game. In 2004 whilst on holiday in the USA we attended a couple of Major League games. For $15 we got family admission complete with a slice of pizza and large soda each. At the other end of the scale for $300 you could sit in the players’ dug out and chat to them during the game.
7
I’d like to cunt the associated headgear.
It’s just that the baseball cap is so feckin ubiquitous, it’s a default setting.
Cannot imagine Lord Fiddler wearing one; I suspect he goes about his business wearing a bowler, or a tropical pith helmet. Real style.
4
Kidding yourself HBH.
Dick wears a balaclava his mum knitted him.
5
Batters baseball caps are made of titanium or something, for some reason. Can’t complain about the game, keeps them amused. Having a round stick must make it very hard to place your shot.
2
Like BBC comedy, the Channel 4 News, rugby, and the Flabbot’s arse, it is unwatchable.
7
I enjoy it.
Great spectacle and they bring beer and fuck-off hot dogs to your seat.
What’s not to like! 😋
3
Or what the Yanks call beer. We’d call it chemically infused fizzy water.
Oh yeah, a couple of ‘beers’, a couple of hot dogs and a bag of peanuts. That’ll be $4,827.
There’s price gouging, there’s highway robbery, there’s massive fraud on an industrial scale and then there’s American sports arena concession prices.
1
I didn’t say I was paying!
There on a business trip, with seats directly behind the pitcher’s arm.
Apparently it’s quite costly to sit there. 😜
2
Hot Dogs?!!!!
Greatest sport ever.
3
I find it amusing that cricket is being used as a weapon with which to slam baseball.
Not massively into baseball myself, but I am following the World Series since my local team – Houston Astros – are in it.
Cricket can have a tendency to be incredibly boring. A game spread over 5 days and still nobody wins? Seriously? A game where if you score too many runs you feel guilty about it and let the other team have a go? WTF? Outfield baseball players wear the big gloves to catch/field because the ball can be travelling so much faster than a cricket ball. And the bowlers in cricket have a run up and still can’t deliver a ball as fast as a baseball pitcher can throw from a standing position! And bowlers need the pitch to make a cricket ball turn. Baseball pitchers don’t. It’s a full toss every time which can swerve, curve and dip all down to the skill of the pitcher’s throw. I think that’s pretty impressive.
I know from people who are really into baseball there are multiple layers to the game which I personally don’t get. It seems to me not much happens for quite a while, then something amazing happens lightening quick. With a man on first base and the guy at bat hitting the ball into the outfield, to see the fielders recover the ball and get it back to second AND first base to get two outs is pretty impressive. The speed and accuracy required to do that is something to see.
Oh yeah, unlike a batsman in cricket, the guy at bat in baseball isn’t rigged out in enough protective gear to deflect a nuclear attack.And he’s facing faster pitches. By all means have a dig at baseball, but the cricket argument doesn’t really work.
3
Nice one imitation Yank.
That’s what I love about this site .
A perfectly layered response . No insults or religion like fucking basefuck or yewchoob.
long may it continue.
1
the thing both baseball and cricket have in common is in some respects they are both more enjoyable to listen to on the radio than actually watch, in the fact the commentators are usually good at their job and you yourself can be getting on with other things at the same time
3
Excellent point, ES.
The commentary is banal to say the least. And now they superimpose a strike box graphic on screen which takes all the fun out of watching the battle between pitcher and the guy at bat. So stupid, but then consider the audience. Ooops, did I just type that out loud? 😉
0
I agree Cuntsville. Imitation has argued well but I’ve also seen some fantastic 5 Day Draws. Atherton’s famous Johannesburg rearguard innings just one of many examples.
I like both sports. Don’t understand the nuances of baseball like I do cricket but I’ll accept the Pitcher in particular has a vast skill set.
Bull Durham and Field of Dreams both good movies too.
1
Haven´t the Astros just fucked everything up and been beaten by no-hopers, the Washington Nationals?
I love sitting in a bar in the US watching the sports channel – baseball, basketball and their version of football – even though I don´t understand the rules. The commentators are pretty nauseating but I suppose that goes for sports commentators everywhere.
1
Noooooooooo, Mr. P. Not at all. The ‘Stros lost the first two games in Houston. Not good. Then they went to Washington and won the next two. So the series is tied at 2-2. Game 5 is tonight in Washington. We’ll see what happens.
1
The bald guy with the Jurgen Klopp teeth on CNN has been going crazy about this game all week and all the greasy politicians in Washington have been claiming the Nationals are above politics and bringing everyone together. Just typical politicians politicking. Anyway good luck.
1
not seen much baseball on TV so can not comment on the commentary, but on the radio it is excellent
0
Astros smoked the Nationals tonight, 1-7. Back to Houston for game 6 and possibly 7. Yes! Get in!!
0
Baseball…pah!
I prefer the occasional game of knocking coloured balls into pockets using a wooden stick.
It’s been a long time since I last played, I’ve forgotten what it’s called.
2
Hi Spoons!
Yeah that was big in the 70s, its called ‘paki bashing’.
If you see a old mate shout across
‘Fancy a beer and some paki bashing’?
Always be popular.
5
Hey MNC,
Nah not that. It has a wooden table and green felt.
It’s made me think of fuzzy felts.
When’s the nurse coming round the wards with my pills?
1
Haha, i know mate, you meant ‘pool’
Teasing you.
Fuzzy felt? 😳
I was chatting in the pub to my mate about being kids and christmas,
And he said the most dissapointing present he ever got was..fuzzy felt!
Think he was hoping for the 6million dollar man toy.
4
Cheeky monkey! :p
You should get him some fuzzy felts for Christmas haha :-p
What ever happened to Steve Austin 6 million dollar man?
1
Hes old now i presume, his bionic bits starting to rust?
Lee Majors played steve Austin, we all loved it as kids.
1
I picture Spoony playing billiards down at the Diogenese club.
I like to think of Spoonington as a bit of a cross between Cleggy out of Last of the Summer Wine and Mycroft Holmes played by Joss Ackland.
2
Blackballing ??
1
Always reminds me of Kenny Everett’s Brother-Lee-Love with those massive gloves…
As to cricket, I’ve never understood why, as schoolboys, they made us wear woolly jumpers and long trousers in the blistering heat of Summer to play cricket, then made us wear shorts and T-Shirts in the numbing cold of Winter to play fucking football…
3
That’s a really good point, Seymour. I never thought of that. At my school, each term had it’s designated sport for sports afternoons. Autumn/winter was footie which we all loved. Winter/Spring was rugby which we all hated except for the bullies and those who had caught The Gayness. Spring/Summer was cricket which we all hated. Just let us play football year round you cunts. But noooooooo. We had to be exposed to other sports as part of our education – presumably. Still hate cricket and rugby and football has been destroyed by money. Oh well.
2
Evening IY.
I have an extensive collection of “really good points” which many others have never thought of !!
In the UK, we are sold fuel by the litre – because it sounds better than the exorbitant price of a gallon. Yet we’re sold cars on the basis of “miles-per-gallon” – because it sounds better than the piss-poor “miles-per-litre”
Please excuse me whilst I go and get a life….
5
Another great observation, Seymour.
I’ll try not to rub it in by saying I’ll be filling up my Golf GTI later this evening for about £15. 🙂
1
IY, if you were driving a Trabant, £15 of petrol in the tank would be tripling the value of the “conveyance” !
3
I think you’ll find football has been destroyed by Spurs style of play.
Mighty Reds 2 Spuds 1
😊
3
Not being a football fan, I have no idea what you’re on about, Bertie but I’m sure wearing spurs whilst playing football is only going to endanger the other players’ ankles
2
Good evening Seymour. Did you read my belated reply to your comment on the Natasha Allen nom?
I shall need you in the future to test my understanding of the Welsh language.
1
Evening Bertie – I did indeed cop for your reply, thank you. I think you can paste text into Googly-Translatey effort and it’ll spew out some barely intelligible gobbledegook, desperately attempting to assimilate my inimitable erudition.
1
Ugh!
You might have more chance translating that in to Welsh!
😊
1
Oh I’m glad Murderpool won. If they hadn’t, it would be Toxteth all over again. Laaaa.
4
I’m one of those rare cunts who enjoyed rounders at school.
More so than cricket.
I’ll get me passport..
0