Vapers

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Vapers are cunts.

Not those little pen type things, but those massive, fuck off, suitcase-sized, mains powered fuckers. They emit enormous clouds of vapour into the atmosphere. It’s like standing next to a cherry/vanilla/tobacco/dog cheese/wombat womb (insert your own flavour) power station. And you know you’re breathing in air that’s just been in the lungs of the vaper.

Not nice. Just piss off and pollute in private.

Nominated by Bertram Cuntatious DCO

71 thoughts on “Vapers”

  1. I’d only vape if the oil were made out of snowflakes’ tears and Remainiacs’ blood.

  2. This appears to be nothing more than a fucking cock competition ! Who’s got the biggest device, who can make the largest cloud !! Tell you what cunts do it at home!!!, have you any idea of how fucking ridiculous you look? Obviously not……

  3. One encouraging piece of news after a fuck awful week. In our local high street during the early summer period a long closed shop (a mobile phone outlet) was taken over by a vaping shop, complete with hipster assistants with manbuns. It had closed down by the end of August – and they seem to have *disappeared* – judging by letters congregating inside the shop door, I assume there were a few debts. Perhaps the bubble has burst – the same thing has happened in our area with those “we buy and sell mobile phones and tablet” shops – there are o nly two left now and neither appear to be thriving. Cuntshops, you might call them.

  4. What’s wrong with tabs? Never did me any harm.

    Oh yeah, they’re over £12 a pack now. £1.05 when I last bought a pack.

    Happier, more satisfying times.

    • £12.00 a pack!! Seriously RTCP? ( evening)
      My dad ( god bless) used to do 40 + a day! That’s a staggering £672 odd a month! a 2 nd mortgage……
      I quit 5 years ago and can’t remember what they cost but nothing like that ….
      No wonder there’s some Eastern European swarthy Roma type cunt selling cigarettes out of the back of his transit van round the corner!! “ elllo mate want do you like bunson and the hedges?” “ No!! And go home you fucking pikey scum!” 😂😂😂

    • I think a packet of 20 tabs in Australia is about £25?

      Good reason for giving up.

      Never had one so don’t really know much about smoking.

      What’s the point of vaping?

    • Over £15 a pack in a WH Smith in London Victoria station, and always served by a cheerless non-indigenous type.

  5. Personally, I think that vapers look like right twats….like they are sucking on a fuckin’ smart phone or summat that is about to self-destruct like bloody ‘Mission Impossible’.

    That’ll probably be the next technology…..a smart phone that doubles as an e-fag. I’m calling ‘Dragon’s Den right now’.

    I am actually quite amused and unsurprised that research recently has shown that these things can be as bad as smoking on the lungs. Sort of defeats the object of using them really. Why can’t these mongs just bloody bite the bullet and quit smoking, accept the cravings and side effects and stop being a bloody pussy about it? Vaping is not the answer, just another problem.

  7. Gina fucking Miller. Will someone please shut this banana chomping Um Bongo drinker the fuck up.

    Who the fuck does she think she is?

    Off to the supreme court ? Why, is their char lady off sick or will she be pushing the tea trolley around.

    Fucking know your place and get back in your tree:literally.

    • I vape. Admittedly a cunt, but dont care what anybody thinks, helped me give up the fags, and feel much better for it, saved my self few grand,
      Whats not to like ?
      As for it being a cock substitute?
      Well my E-cigs not big but funnily im hung like a pit pony!
      Crazy ol world!😁

      • Andrew.
        youd pull your back out lifting my genitalia with both hands.
        Be a good chap get yourself a soymilk,
        Calm yourself down, and stop fantasizing your even fit to shake the dribble off my bellend.

      • Me too, on both counts. However, must agrre with the cunting of cloud blowers. On the decline by the way. Attention seeking fucking idiots

    • Calm down dear, she lost her case.

      Just rejoice at that news and congratulate our forces and the marines.

      • The arrogant, tenancious, malteser-headed, disingenuous little piece of shit is appealing to the Supreme Court on 17th September…

        Another cunt who freely peppers her oratories with the words ‘democracy’. This fucking gibbon wouldn’t know the true meaning of the word if it fell from her tree and made a hole in her fucking simian head.

        I would love to see her shrunken head explode like a mortar bomb if the UK ever managed to leave the EU.

      • Somebody should vape around Gina Miller to mask the rancid odour of vadge yeast and defeat.

    • Vagina Miller.I want to know who fund her.Soros?Rothschild?Branson? There is no way this duplicitous bitch is self funding.I think we deserve to know.Also if she is so concerned about democracy why has the bitch never put herself forward for a vote in all her life ?

      • She is Soros’s whore. Shaun could you do us all a favour and nominate Soros in the next deadpool, it would be bound to finish him?

      • The old CUNT Soros is extremely dangerous, he will probably leave all his money to the likes of Gina FUGLY CUNT Miller, so that his deranged ideas can be inflicted on the world long after he is burning in Hell.

  8. I smoke 20 a day, I can and have stopped in the past. The doctor would tell me to stop if I ever went (haven’t been in 10 years), the dentist advises me to stop every time I see her (every 6 months). Never been tempted by the vape or any other method to stop me smoking cigarettes other than my own free will. When I’m ready I’ll stop again, but not because some cunt tells me to. Trouble is how long before I have that choice taken away by the do-gooders ? I’ll be back in a bit, just off outside for a smoke…. because I can.

    • I smoke 10-15 a day.I have severe depression and have watched elderly relatives reduced to living corpses through dementia .I would rather check out earlier than longer for over a decade lying in nappies and screaming like a caged animal constantly frightened and scared.If I die of something else before that I would be grateful.I can’t get on with vaping.Does not give me the same buzz.

      • Seriously Shaun death by lung cancer is long drawn out and painful – my mum died of it (though she didn’t smoke) and it is terrible to see somebody gasping for breath.

        If you want a quick demise I would suggest getting Emily Thornberry and Diane Abbott to sit on your face and then bury your head in Diane’s enormous jugs – suffocation within 30 seconds, either that or suffocation from Thornberry’s sweaty crotchpiece and piss flaps.

      • I will give up one day when I get the willpower.Problem is I enjoy it.If I get lung cancer I would go to dignitas.

  9. I smoke, ~15 cheap skinny rollies a day, outdoors only, and have tried vaping as a substitute, but even when it isn’t infantilsed with banana essence or whatever, it tastes disgusting. And following the manbun manbag fullfacefungus brigade, though concealed in clouds of strawberry and ethanediol, does not appeal. When I meet one during my frugal fagbreak, I never fail to smile mockingly and ask them if they’ve tried the real thing yet.

    • Aw a man after my own heart Komodo, nothing beats a hand crafted ciggerette. I myself consume between 8-10 per day, and really do enjoy the art of the role.
      What brand is your choice sir ?. I prefer Amberleaf myself.

      • Amber Leaf, sometimes alternating with Golden Virginia plus extra slim tip. The rolling is as pleasurably calming as the smoking, indeed. Thank you…addiction loves company.

  10. I like it! More than i did smoking,
    Smoked 20fags a day for god knows how long, used to get chest infections in winter and abcess in my jaw last few years, not had either since vapeing!
    And vapeing is next to go, gave up smoking dope years ago, running out of vices, only got stealing from washing lines and auto asphyxiation left!

    • Tried shisha pipes a few times but heard they are the equivalent of X number cigarettes but don’t see them getting the scrutiny of vaping probably because its ‘cultural’.

    • Always get a chest infection/cough during winter and it lasts for sodding weeks.

      Never had a cigarette in my life.

      • That damp time of year, willie,
        But after giving up smoking no chest infections, and even better no abcesses, dont know if youve ever had one but theyre certainly no fun.

      • Haha fresh!
        That doctor has the morals of a politician and the enterprise of a celebrity.

      • Next Mr Fiddler will be strolling down the high street sporting a topknot and beard, vaping on his favourite cinnamon flavour.

      • Ive got a beard those hipsters would die to own like ive got a wolf sat on my chin, but sadly topknots out of the question now im bald(sigh)
        Suppose i could balance a doughnut in my head?
        Be one of the trendy types?
        Wonder why they wear half mast trousers?

      • Unfortunately sometimes you cant have it all Miserable, a balancing doughnut could catch on among the trendy Shoreditch types. Black rimmed Michael Caine style glasses when you don’t need them are another Hipster/celeb trait, they ain’t fooling anyone with geek chic.

      • Yeah like big national health specs dont they?
        Ill get some if my eyesight goes LL.
        They like workwear as well, but dont do manual labour,
        Look like lumberjacks but scared of chainsaws an axes?
        Like craft ales but on their arse after few pints.
        Just daft kids arent they…

  11. Smoking and vaping gives me an attack of the vapours. How the fuck anyone can fill their lungs with this shit is beyond me. I would rather, and frequently do, fill my guts with beer and wine.

  12. Im a fan of bitter, IPA, and gold ales Bertie and occasional nice whisky.
    Smoking was from my misspent youth in Brinnington.
    And that old adage ‘if she smokes she pokes’ some truth to that.
    Tonight though im tired from work, and drinking earl grey, about the only refined thing i like, having a poor mans palet.

  13. I am going to have to get on my soap box here…..I am involved with the vaping world!

    The main constituents of vaping liquids are;
    Vegetable glycerin
    Propylene glycol
    Food flavouring (strawberry, vanilla etc)
    Nicotine, milligrams to personal taste

    That’s it.

    All ingredients considered ‘generally’ safe and are regulated.

    As consumers you consume these ingredients (all but nicotine however nicotine is found in natural foods, the solanaceae family for example) daily in foods and drinks, the same ingredients are in the smoking replacement therapy ‘cigalike’ products supplied by the pharmaceutical companies that you will remember from years ago that are/were obviously approved for consumption.

    Vaping is certainly cheaper than smoking and an effective way of giving up fags however it does replace one habit with another, and long may that continue as far as I am concerned.

    But yes, man bun sandal wearing loud mouthed vapers can be and are quite often cunts. As are the short fat beardy weirdy heavy metal t-shirt wearing vaping cunts

  14. One of these vape shops opened round my way a couple of months ago. It’s called “Skunk House” believe it or not. In the window it advertises “lifestyle accessories” ,whatever they are , and “ cannabis seeds”. Fuck me, is that legal? Not that it matters…….the last time we saw a copper round here he was a Bow Street Runner asking questions about Springheeled Jack.
    Cunts.

  15. Hey Freddie, you know highgate?
    Last time i worked in London was there, posh cheshire bird moved there, from prestbury where all the millionaires live, she said Liam gallagher and patsy kensit lived round there, but it was a fuckin shithole!
    That a trendy part of London?

  16. Highgate is like many parts of London. There is Highgate village where there are streets of big, expensive houses where the rich, posh people live. There are posh shops and restaurants, a couple of private secondary schools and 6 or 7 prep schools which feed them. If Liam Fuckface lived there he, no doubt lowered the tone.
    However, walk around the corner and you are into Highgate (non village) an immo infested shithole. Hope this helps.

    • Yeah, she left a little oak beamed cottage in a beautiful village in cheshire, thought itd be a posh part of London, Kensington etc
      But looked like shite, the gaff she moved into cost her a fortune!
      Wasnt impressed, but fuck all to do wi me, long as she paid handsomely couldnt care less.
      Cheers, didnt know if it was a ‘in’ place to be or something

  17. I turn 25 tomorrow and am intending a week-long bender after a tough couple of years.Hence if I post nonsense on here.Rest assured I haven’t been hacked I am just shitfaced.

      • I am but have been working with elderly which makes me feel younger by comparison.They call me the grimreaper at work as so many olduns conk out on my shift.If they knew my Deadpool count they might get scared.All deaths on my shifts have been classed as imminent by Drs before anyone accuses me of anything.There is no Mrs Shaun at the moment sadly hence the reckless drinking.

  18. Vaping? What a pile of cunt. Can’t be good for you… Might as well smoke if you want to smoke. Talking of smoking nice whiff of Ganja in the air out here in Jamaica, eating Lobsters and the Appleton 12 year rum washes the shite down a treat.
    Got a bit of cunt coming over later…and I’m gonna give it a good pounding.
    How’s life back blighty? Not that I’ve bothered watching the news let me guess Brexit, trannies and peaceful cunts…they can all go fuck themselves…and then go fuck themselves. Pass me da rum Mon. 😁 😁 😁

    • How’s life back in Blighty? Worse. Stay where you are, friend. But keep an eye on the NOAA hurricane advisory pages if you aren’t already…little risk for the next couple of days, so seize the day. (Deeply jealous, as intended).

  20. I couldn’t give a wet fart if someone wants to give themselves emphysema, because I used to use propylene glycol in cosmetics manufacturing, and I don’t remember the safety data sheet saying it was ok to turn it into steam an breathe it in. Listening to the rattling chests of the vape addicts in work seems to indicate it’s anything but healthy, even if the dull cunts think because it tastes of pineapple, it’s one of their five a day. As long as I don’t have to breathe it in, they man bong zyklon B for all I care.

  21. Walking past some people who vape, I notice a smell of sweeties or fruit, nothing like what cigarettes, cigars etc smell like. Is it to encourage children to take up vaping?

  22. I like an odd rollie – not of the Jamaican Woodbine type – because I prefer the “smoke” and it’s a lot less chemically than the pre-made shite.

    Several acquaintances “vape”, former heavy smokers of the pre-made type. The aromas vary from geriatrics ward menthol mixed with piss, to Delia Smith’s gusset.

    “Why don’t you vape stuff that tastes like tabs?”

    “Oh, because that’s fuckin’ rank mate! Fuckin’ rank!”

    But cookie dough mixed with vanilla and strawberry is perfectly fine…

    Then you get the cunts in cars who let out a Smoog’s fart from their window making the driver behind think their cylinder head gasket has gone – only to be rewarded with a hue of peach Melba and chocolate punching their nostrils.

    As my habit costs me around £15 quid every 5-6wks or so (50g baccy pouch), I’m happy to feed my 2-5 a day habit.

    Everyone knows that smoking is crap for your health, from doctors recommending them for stress in the early 1950’s to full ostracism in 2007.

    I wonder what the medical history books will make of vaping going forwards?

    Either way, as a tab substitute, it tastes fucking awful, no, it tastes fucking wrong! 🤔

  24. I smoke a pipe.
    it’s such an uncommon thing that fuckwhits ask me 2 things.
    1 is it legal?
    2 is it a type of vape?
    normal people say things like “my dad smoked a pipe” and leave it at that.

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