The ‘Little Woman’ Card

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We live in an age of absolute gender equality. We know this because wimmin are constantly telling us, unless it suits them to forget it now and again. Then they demurely flutter their lovely lashes, and play what’s known as The ‘Little Woman’ Card. It goes, as they say, something like this;

I’m sitting in my armchair enjoying a glass of wine. Suddenly there’s a horrendous shriek from upstairs, followed by the pounding of the wife’s footsteps down the stairs and into the living room.

Me; ‘Goodness dear, sounds as though you’re having a heart attack’
Her; (breathless, wide-eyed panic) ‘There’s a spider in the bath!’
Me; ‘Well get rid of it’
Her; ‘You know I hate them. Please get rid of it, I’m dying for a pee!’
Me; You can handle it, my sweet. You’re a modern, independent, strong-minded woman. Sisters doin’ it for themselves, and that’
Her; (plaintive whine) ‘But…but… it’s HUGE!’ (sidles on to arm of chair) ‘Please!’
Me; ‘What’s in it for me?’
Her; ‘Erm, I’ll get you more wine’
Me; (lascivious leer) ‘I’m thinking of something a bit more…energetic. You’re always saying I need more exercise’
Her; ‘You cad! And I thought I’d married a gentleman! Is that all you think about?’
Me; ‘Well, there’s Villa, and rock ‘n roll as well, but they’re second and third. Anyway, I thought wimmin considered “gentlemanly” behaviour to be an affront’
Her;’ Well I don’t. Pleeease dear’ (nuzzles in and giggles) ‘I’ll make it up to you later. Promise’
Me; ‘ You sure will. All right’ (hand to forehead) ‘I *ah-em* may be gone some time’

So off I go, expecting to be confronted by a killer the size of a fucking plate, only to encounter a heart-rending spectacle. There he is, all of half an inch across, pathetically struggling to climb up the side of the bath, only to slide down again. Out into the garden the poor little sod goes.

Me; ‘It’s a good job your big, strong husband was here to deal with it, dear. It could have had your arm off’
Her; (sticks out tongue and thumbs nose) ‘You’re an absolute beast!’
Me; ‘True my flower, and you’ll be very pleased about it later’

So once more I was played by the Little Woman Card, as I’m sure all you guys have been, many times. She wants her stuff out of the loft, but has suddenly developed a mysterious ailment that prevents her climbing the ladder. You get dragged around the shops while she tries and buys things (‘I’ve got absolutely nothing for the holiday!’) and then find that somehow, you’re left carrying half a dozen bags. Etc, etc.

That’s the thing, though. I’d actually go through fire for her, and she knows it. But just remember guys; next time you’re called upon to deal with a tarantula in the bath, make sure there’s something in it for you too. This is indeed the age of equality, so it’s time to start playing the ‘Bloke’ Card.

Nominated by Ron Knee

60 thoughts on “The ‘Little Woman’ Card”

  1. I want to type so much on this topic, my brain is malfunctioning as I don’t know what to bemoan first.

    I just read in the Independent that male suicides have skyrocketed to a 16-year high. Don’t suppose that bears any relation to the #MeToo manipulation hysteria and ever-present demonisation of men? Nah. Nothing to see here.

    Cunts? #YesAllWomen

    • Its a whole plethora of societal ills Empire, as well as suicide there are more homeless men, prisoners, shorter life expectancy and less likely to go onto university.

    • You should look on your local Coroner’s website at the recent inquests. The number of suicides – mainly men but the occasional woman – is very sad. There is something very wrong going on with the world.

    • Yes, I hate those idiots that say having spiders in the house is a good thing, because they get rid of flies. As a human I am more than capable of getting rid of flies and don’t need an 8 legged monstrosity terrifying me and biting me while I am asleep.

      • I got this ace fly spray with Japanese writing on the can… Fucking deadly to the little cunts… They spaz about with an extra loud ‘zizz’ and then breakdance and croak… God knows what’s in it… St Greta would probably have an(other) eppy if she knew about it…

      • Another good trick is the fruit fly trap…
        A saucer of normal vinegar, a blob of fairy liquid, and a pinch of sugar… All them fucking midge cunts can’t resist it and it drowns the little bleeders…

  3. More globalist “divide and conquer” tactics promoted by the lamestream media and their elite puppet masters.

  5. Fuckin ell Ron, i do enjoy reading your noms, could tell straight away on first few lines😁
    Yeah, they do play the ‘little woman’ card, but let them, im not going to make my life hell by calling my missus on it, strong sense of self preservation me.
    Mrs Miserable bangs the drum about women can do anything a man does,
    And thats probably true! But funny that she cant use any power tool, cant lay a brick, cant do basic maintenance on her car, cant tile a wall etc

    But lets be honest pal, wouldnt change em for the world!

    • I had to change mine. Not only was she unable to do any of those things you mentioned, she appeared to be unable to fuck. A gentleman down the road kindly disabused me of that particular notion.

  6. Excellent cunting. Wimmin are indeed a bunch of self-serving cunts,aren’t they? Seemingly,everything that’s broadcast these days is aimed at wimminz,poofters,lezzas, pantomime dames,and other assorted freaks. If you’re a straight white bloke there’s little on the box for you. Even previous “bloke” programmes have been destroyed by some soppy cunt with an agenda. Wimminz football? Shite.
    Wimmin football pundits? Bollocks.
    Even most of the so-called blokes in TV and cinema now are half-baked PC Jessie’s.
    2019 is shite.

    • ‘Poofter’!! Cracking 70’s word! Even one of my crewmates who IS a poofter, (calls himself one, much to my unbridled joy), loves the word!

  7. The Flabbott sees your ‘Little Woman’ Card and raises you the ‘The Race’ Card’ and ‘Not so Little Woman’ Card. (Being a fucking halfwit has not been give ‘card playing status’ yet.)

  9. To be honest such is my arachnophobia that it’s my wife that deals with the spiders in our house.

  10. Awesome cunting Sir, absolutely spot on.
    My Wife’s a strong independent woman too, with all the usual femenist tripe, that plays the little woman card all the time.
    A pre-emptive strike of piss-taking usually winds her up enough that she’ll tackle owt though “I’m off for a shower”, “one minute deer, let me sweep the bath of those deadly (to an insect) arachnids you poor defenseless girl”, “don’t bother, I’ll do it myself you Cunt” = Result! back to watching the good stuff on Yesterday.
    I agree with my fellow Northern Cunter though, I love mine to bits and would only change her if she resigns.

    • Nice one Blimpo,👍
      Northern mafia gaining strenth on ISAC,
      Getting a new admin from Tyneside,
      He said when he gets in the chair no moderation for anyone north of Watford gap, and express delivery for our nominations!
      The northern ISAC powerhouse😜

  11. Spiders? Pah! Splat them with a shoe or let Mr Dyson have his way with them.
    I like to be an independent woman but it does get a bit tedious sometimes. I’d love to have a Real Man to cajole but I might as well talk to my arse where my other half is concerned.

  12. Trouble with men is we are over concerned with equality and justice and all the warm fluffy shit.

    All the equality and diversity shit we dish out comes back and bites us on the arse.

    Toxic masculinity? Does that translate into masculinity is toxic?

    Fuck it, maybe I’m just not getting it? To me it seems the every aspect of life is aimed at putting men on their knees.

    Life is of course about compromise and I accept I cannot have it all my way, life isn’t about living on your knees!

    How about a #MeToo for men, men that have been financially screwed by a woman, suffered the mental abuse some women dish out, denied access to their kids mainly because it’s fine to do that to a man.

    Our own biggest enemies, we buy into bullshit, who needs pussy when you can live your life being a pussy?

  14. Why is there no equality for women in say road construction or emptying the bins? Blatantly biased towards men i’d say.
    Mind you i do enjoy swaggering off like Crocodile Dundee when i heroically deal with a spider or swat a wasp.

  15. Never mind “little” women card. I had some big fat sow try and play the “big” woman card. Asked me if I could lift a bag of compost off her trolley and into the back of her car. Told the cheeky mare that she seemed to have no problem carrying an extra ten stone about,so I couldn’t see that a couple more were going to trouble her unduly.

    Fuck Off.

    • Should have told her lifting a oversized Pepsi and a double whopper cheeseburger to her pie hole doesn’t count as exercise.

      Evening Fiddler.

  16. The day those clever cunts in Japan come up with the perfect robot sex doll four things will happen:
    (1) They , or rather their shareholders, will become multi billionaires overnight.

    (2) Wimminz will start shitting themselves.

    (3) Wank banks and Turkey baster factories will be springing up all over the place.

    (4) Benders and trannies will go back to the public toilets where they belong. In fact they might prefer that.

    Win, win, except for the wimminz obviously.

  17. Off road a mo…

    It appears the Remoaners are cynically weaponising the memory of Winston Churchill and the anniversary of the outbreak of WWII to stop Boris removing the Tory whip from Nicholas Soames (Churchill’s grandson) when Soames votes with the opposition this evening to make a No-Deal Brexit illegal.

    And if he doesn’t sack Soames… how will he justify sacking similar Tory traitors?

    • That would be Fatty Soames, of whom it is recorded –

      When Soames started baiting the women who came into parliament as members of Labour’s 1997 intake by cupping his hands to form imaginary breasts then wiggling them and muttering “melons”, they hatched a counter-offensive. Mindful of the wardrobe story, they would mime the turning of a small key and shouting ‘Click’ whenever he rose to speak.

      And why ‘click’? Because of the anonymous woman who confessed that having sex with him was “like having a double wardrobe fall on top of you with a very small key sticking out”.

      https://blogs.spectator.co.uk/2016/05/why-does-nicolas-fatty-soames-want-to-muzzle-the-press-over-gastric-band-surgery/

      As my own grandfather (RIP) would probably have said, being someone admirable’s grandson doesn’t mean you’re any use.

      • Whether Soames is any good or not doesn’t matter to these Remoaners and the anti Brexit MSM. The symbolic fact that he’s Churchill’s grandson is all the ammunition they need.

      • The cunt whop went electioneering on his horse and made himself look a twat and made the Conservative party look like twats.

      • Well, yes, there’s bound to be an emotional attachment to the fat cunt who took the piss out of Blair’s Boobs. A simple matter of PR, really. Not that Fatty matters at all in the grand scheme of things, as 20 of his mates joined him tonight. Radio 4 currently wetting itself with relief, cheering crowds waving EU flags, etc, etc ad nauseam. What happens next?

        I’m running out of popcorn, here. Will say no more in case I give the game away.

      • Yes, Johnson was predictably tolchocked by Bercunt and his Remoaner minions this evening.

        “The idea that Winston Churchill’s grandson would be booted out after 36 years of loyal service is outrageous.” (Mary Craig, Labour remoaner MP, speaking on LBC)

        https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9856671/boris-johnson-winston-churchill-grandson-tory-party-brexit/

        Meanwhile Rory Stewart has confirmed he will not be standing at the next election. That’s remoaner confidence for you!

      • Heard Stewart too. I started looking for an axe but couldn’t find one and the radio is still intact. Fuck the lot of them.

      • Re Robroy Stewart standing down…

        If (?!!) he is missed, you can always catch up with his alter-ego Marlon on MerdeDale…

    • I think spiders are cool.
      One I named Shirley used to live with me, not a pet spider but one that came in from the cold, and she’d get rid of flies. I would talk to her when I saw her about the place. It’s nutty I know but whatever 🙂

      • I have 2 spiders in my gaff, one in the front window and one at the back window in the kitchen. They are fucking massive black Australian house spiders, i let them be, they sort the flies, we get along fine. I’ve even heard my kids say hello to them!!

      • When I lived on my own there was a pretty impressive house spider that used to live under my cooker. Most evenings it would stroll into the living room and have a wander about. I became quite attached to it and would warn anyone visiting that if they killed it I would kill them.
        Top geezers , the old spiders. I’ve got a lot of time for them.

  19. Churchill was in politics a very long time before he became the media driven hero of WW2. Take a look at his record and you will see he was a privileged, public school poshboy who hated the working class.
    The fact that his grandson is following the same ideological route can hardly be a surprise.

  20. Cancel HS2 and divert the funding into Fembot research and production.
    You know it makes sense.
    Put me down for an Ursula Andress ( Dr. No model )
    Jane Fonda ( Barbarella model )
    Oh go on then, throw in an Anita Pallenberg, also circa. Barbarella. For some added filth.
    Pretty, pretty.
    Get To Fuck.

  22. I hate our fucking politicians.

    Biggest load of traitorous scum on the planet.

    FUCKING CUNTS.

  23. Modern women MPs in UK politics is one of the reasons why we are facing such a colossal clusterfuck.

    Just look at this multifarious collective of complete cuntbuckets:

    Harman, May, Phillips, Eagle, Flabbott, Sturgeon, Rayner, Creasy, Lucarse, Wood, Morgan, Nandy, Rudd, Soubry, Wollaston, Powell, Allen, Sheikh n Vac Ahmed, Long-face-Bailey, Osamor, Sandbach, Shah, Siddiq, Dent Coad, Dodds (Cat) Smith, Onasanya, PidCOCK and not forgetting St Jo of Cox (dec).

    I am sure there are many others I have omitted, but I am sure that many fellow cunters could recall acts of prime cuntitude that any of the above have executed.

  25. Excellent cunting once again sir.
    If wimmins rights gets too much I always pop over to reddit and take a good look at the normal ladies doing all the sexy romantic things they were designed for.
    Works a treat.
    Now what’s for tea love?

  26. On the subject of the ‘Litttle Woman’, my (least) favourite bête noire is showing her true colours… Told you lot she was a right little cunt…. Only a matter of time before the little slapper sues some Manchester market stall that sells those crappy bumble bee T-Shirts…

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-49572758

  27. I havent exactly gone MGTOW but i’m not looking.

    Nowadays I envy Krav and Mince Pie Guy; if I were gay i’d be happliy settled down by now, and at less chance of domestic abuse.

    No prizes for guessing lesbian relationships have by far the highest rate of domestic violence in them.

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