Renewing Wedding Vows is for cunts, isn’t it.
“O heaven, the vanity of wretched fools”
~Shakespeare~
What is this embarrassingly vain cuntfest and who are these nuptial junkies? Well…
Beyoncé and Jay-Zed.
Celine Dion and a wealthy millionaire whose name she doesn’t remember
The Osbournes
Rod Stewart and some bird.
The Beckhams
…etc.
Ohh, lambkins! Has it been a few years since you had some attention? Does your soshul meedja page require fresh pictures? Do you need some glossy magazine cash to refurbish your kitchen? What’s the point of a promise if you have to refresh it every few years? These narcissistic serpents have traded dignity for popularity. They’d eat off a sewer floor for a piece of publicity.
Fuck these miserable saps in their plastic, loveless marriages.
Nominated by Captain Magnanimous
Justified cunting. Unheard of in my parents generation. Rife in the current soshal meeja circus. Thankfully my ex-parasite found another lovewand back in 93 and spared me this cuntitude. I say spared because the couple of cunts renewed around 10 years after they wed and about 2 years before he found another pot to bury his cheating staff in to. Very poetic that was. Still makes me laugh even today 🤣
21
I don’t see the point in getting married in the first place, let alone doing it again just in case someone didn’t notice. There’s nothing you can do when you’re married that you can’t when you’re not.
16
Try getting divorced Allan, that shot you out the water didn’t it!
3
If I had the choice to re-new my wedding vows with Madame Schizophrenia complete with all the trimmings and invitations or buy a new car, I’d plump for the motor. Just don’t tell her that.
Ironically, most cars last longer than marriages nowadays.
9
That’s a thing I have always wondered, when your marriage goes tits up why cant you claim the VAT back on the wedding?
Surely value added tax should not apply to something that makes you fucking miserable.
6
“Traded dignity for popularity” – the thing is, the sort of celebrities who do this shit are universally despised outside the media bubble. Utter cunts.
In other news I’ve been slagging off the Establishment again…
https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2019/09/27/the-depravity-of-the-ruling-class/
11
Re “Humbug,” I am pretty certain they are sold in the HOC shop…
Cleveland Police put under “Special Measures” for failing to do basic police work. Quite frankly, the Home Office should be put under “Special Measures.”
The rot starts at the top.
3
Fucking hell – once is more than enough! Why anyone would choose to go through all that miserable shit a second time is truly beyond me.
Great cunting Cap.
13
I’m always rather happily surprised when I see a story on TV about a wedding that DOESN’T feature lezzers or shirtlifters. I thought they were the only ones allowed in 2019.
15
Often follows one or both parties being caught playing away in a desperate attempt to reassure themselves that their relationship is as strong as ever.
If it was that strong no one would of played away.
Slebs do it for a few quid from hello and getting some publicity.
Normal people have anniversary parties or a meal.
10
Off topic but this Daily Mirror headline is funny as fuck.
“Vegan says Greggs ‘traumatised her for life’ after giving her pork sausage roll
Sharleen Ndungu, 20, claims she started having heart palpitations and burst into tears after biting into the savoury snack at the store in Canterbury, Kent“
Snowflake cunts all around us.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7507095/Vegan-student-20-demands-apology-Greggs-served-PORK-sausage-roll.html
15
And I’ll bet the dozy trollop called for an ambulance…
10
Compo Alert! Compo Alert!
In case of emergency break glass and a no win, no fee stinking leech will be immediately available.
10
I would give her something to cry about if she bit into my pork sausage.
I doubt she would quote
‘People can be allergic to pork and potentially die from such a stupid mistake. It’s my choice not to consume meat because it causes cancer. That choice has been taken away from me.’
Next question is how did she know what pork tastes like
3
These are the type of cunts whose Mrs tells them that ‘if you really loved me you would not go out for a pint/by me designer stuff eg gucci etc/renew our vows so everyone knows how lovely and lovable i am’.
Bit like that poor cunt Harry Hewitt infact.
9
Totally pointless exercise designed to gain publicity as per cunting and to make money for some cunt, although I don’t blame the cunts making money from the cunts.
6
I am surprised marriages haven’t been banned by the Left SJWs fascists!
They seem to take great delight in criticising old traditions, and I suspect weddings will be next on their “I’m offended” shitlist!
As for renewing your vows – fuck that and the camel it rode on! Once is enough, and why put your friends and family under further financial strain with the effort to buy presents all over again, and to fly off to some far-flung shithole just to bear witness to a pair of attention-seeking cunts saying “I do!”
8
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – (Rita Rudner)
10
If you can find a wife that’s as good as a liar as yourself, you should always re-new your vows, says Johnny.
3
Within ten years marriage between a man and a woman may well be banned as it is offensive to gays, trannies, and ugly cunts.
13
The use of the words man or woman may be banned, I know some state side schools ban mother and father being used.
Gender is being criminalised, not because it offends Gays and Trannies, because man + woman is the foundation of the family and if that foundation is removed the state can become the parent and break the link to the most basic building block of community, the family.
It’s amazing how many conspiracy theories seem to be closer to the truth than the bullshit the media throws at us.
18
This bollockry is usually instigated by the wife who is either deeply insecure that her other half still loves her and remains committed, or is worried he may have porked some other woman or he actually HAS porked some other woman and they have decided to overlook that and live in everlasting married bliss, so renewing their vows makes everything better,
Umm, no. It doesn’t. Divorcing the adulterous fucker and taking half his wallet would.
10
This cunt behavior proves beyond all doubt that the married couple are indeed a pair of cunts, whilst I respect the concept of marriage… Getting married is a bit of a show off, look at us pile of cunt ain’t it? With all the outstanding ladies and slags abaaaaaht why you’d want to commit to some woman who seemed nice in the beginning but turns into a controlling, bitter, jealous of the younger woman, fat, don’t want to suck you bellend cunt once she’s got her claws in is beyond me.
As for cunts who get married more than twice they deserve to be rinsed for every penny for being such needy, useless, no bollocks, can’t be a man and live on your own cunts.
‘Happy’ miserable sexless anniversary you cunts.
Go fuck yourselves…and then go fuck yourselves.
8
A second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience.
Samuel Johnson
5
I hate weddings! Anything i have to get spruced up for i loathe.
And boring as fuck,
Best wedding i went to had a folk band fiddles and that, and a hot pot buffet!
Actually enjoyed myself!
But was a one off.
5
Very true MK, @MSC ain’t been to that many Weddings thank God. Last one I went to I ended up getting super pissed and gave the Brides 21 year old sister a pounding. I enjoyed that wedding.
3
I managed to wriggle out of one of these last week thrown by my partner’s dole scrounging mate and his fat, loudmouth Mrs. Do the fuckers expect presents? I actually opted to stay and keep his mum company while having to suffer through Cunts Got Talent on ITV, that’s how appealing that snorefest sounded. Narcissistic, attention grabbing, ugly cunts!
3
If I were to get married, I’d marry my right hand.
The ceremony would take place in a nice curry house.
2
If there’s a split after renewing marriage vows, they should make the cunts pay for 2 divorces
1
The whole concept is oxymoronic, a “VOW” by any meaningful definition is lifelong. Any lesser duration renders a vow nothing more than a hopeful promise and therefore worthless.
1