Jolie King and Mark Firkin

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A massive and well earned cunting for Jolie King and Mark Firkin.

This pair of cunts are languishing in as less than salubrious jail in Iran. This pair of entitled pillocks decided to have a little around the world jolly, posting as they go to all there equally cuntish Instagram or other soshul meeja bollocks ‘followers’. Well the Iranians didn’t take kindly to them flying a drone around without permission and them them in the slammer. Fucking well done Iran.

Firstly, wandering around a massive shit hole like Iran is super cuntish. They fucking hate Westerners, so why the fuck would you even contemplate going there? Secondly, it’s brain dead of them flying a drone around. FfS, Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe is in the nick there for ‘spying’ so what makes these self entitled cunts think they can just wander into a hostile country and fly a fucking drone? Thirdly they are just cunts for wandering around taking selfies. I hope the Iranians let them keep their mobiles so they can document every miserable second of their incarceration. I want to see Marks face whilst he’s being shunted from behind by a six foot stinking Iranian.

Pop that on Facebook you cunt. Double cunts.

Nominated by Bertram Cuntatious DCO

57 thoughts on “Jolie King and Mark Firkin”

  1. Oh spot on cunting B C DCO !
    I have to say I do enjoy reading about some fucking clueless 20 something libtards skipping through a meadow taking a selfie. .
    Only to find they are in some middle eastern or africunt shithole where everyone is an evil fucker waiting to prey upon a self obsessed Guardistan reader.
    Fucking love it! You’ll soon be singing a different tune you lost cunts 😀

  3. Pair of self entitled stupid millennial arseholes. You can’t just go to other people’s countries and do what the fuck you want. Well, you can in this country but everywhere else they take a dim view of foreign cunts fucking about.
    Why are stupid wankers still going to peaceful countries anyway? Don’t they know they want us all dead? Well they’ll keep that bird alive for as long as her fanny can handle all that dirty Iranian cock. Pair of cunts.

  4. I think I made a nom about “danger tourists” earlier in the year.

    Stupid Guardian reading, gap year type cunts.

    The utter stupidity of testing their “Islamic Dictatorship are all nice places actually and you’re just racist” theory has really landed them in the fucking shit.

    Flying a drone in Iran whilst there are Royal Marines arresting Iranian ships in the world. You utter fucking cunts

    I hope it takes about 5 years to secure their release.

    • Why bother to secure their release? A few years in an Iranian jail will help the twats realise that the real world is rather different to their cosy ‘Me, me ,me’ existence which they enjoyed previously. I am sure that the couple would not want the organisations they despise (U.K. government, Royal Marines , RAF etc ) to intercede on their behalf.

      • Guaranteed when the morons are released they’ll be blaming the British government for not doing enough to help. Whatever we do it’s too fucking much for these narcissistic fuckwits.

      • I suppose that in order to avoid such situations in the future tests in common sense ( an increasingly rare attribute ) could be given to any would be globetrotter. Failure to meet the standard would be greeted by a formal notification along the lines of ‘Good luck but when it turns to shit you are on your own’.

  5. Where the fuck did this pair of morons get a drone from in the first place.
    It’s not the first thing I pack when travelling.

  6. You can talk to these cunts till you are blue in the face, it is such a waste of time.
    Are they that naive that they think every country and it’s people are the same across the world……scratch that it must be true or they wouldn’t be in this Iranian pickle they have found themselves in.
    Good times ahead…..

  8. In my young days, as a visitor in Tehran and long before the Shah was ousted, I met a terrific people. Pleasant, outgoing, educated and extremely welcoming. However, The Shah fell. I remember it very well as will most ex Shipyard men of the Tyne when the Kharg became a political hot potato. I went back to “Persia” ( as it used to be ) and was horrified at the changes I saw. I have never seen so many frightened faces in one place. Wherever I went, I was followed, and the Police would question anyone that I spoke to. That made me feel quite resented. People would not speak to me for fear of a visit from the Militia.
    Cunt Iran? Nah….the Rulers of Iran? …Yeah ! They are supreme cunts that make our politicans look good.

  9. Yes, a beautiful country with mountains and natural wonders, now ruled by religious despots and draconian law. There exists old film footage of pre-1970s Iran were the attractive ladies listened to pop music whilst wandering around in mini-skirts. Now they listen to the same song five times a day whilst wandering around in bin-bags.

  11. The arseholes who travel to these out of left field places must be either one of two things:

    1/ Incredibly stupid, have their heads firmly lodged up their arses as to the places one needs to avoid travelling to in this world and clearly did not get the memo, or

    2/ So conceited that they believe that the reported dangers are overly inflated and that they will be the exception to the rule, travelling there unscathed and without any issue.

    Either way, this makes them prime cunts and I have zero sympathy for them.

    Oh, and plus they were using a drone which straight away makes them total cunts, with or without the exotic destination.

    • Ive known a few such cunts and they’ve been shocked when visiting craphole democracies such as India, let alone theocratic dictatorships.

      Even my brother, who travelled to largely civilised nations in the far east , said he was grateful to live in Britain.
      The only other places he likes were parts of the US, Canada and New Zealand.

  12. I read that they said something about wanting to challenge the stigma attached to certain countries by the media.
    Really? Well you’ve been sitting in some hellhole prison for ten weeks with no sign of a trial so how do you feel now smartarses?

    • Yep, failing to realise that the stigma the media attaches isn’t this “fake news” that their hated Orange Man talks about.

      It’s real and they are hopefully getting their shit pushed this minute

  13. Typical self entitled trust fund snowflake prats. They’re dual English and Australian citizens and I hope both governments pass the buck between each other and let the cunts languish in gaol for many years with their favourite organic cous cous and sodomised goat curry for every meal.

    • Oh is that THESE cunts. I saw the news headlines but it just mentioned ‘woman arrested in Iran’ – funny that.

  14. I’m sure Jolie and Mark have nothing to worry about. After all Iran is ruled by Islamic fundamentalists, and everybody knows that Islam is a “religion of peace”, so what’s their problem?

  15. Suburb cunting. I hope the said Iranian’s got a 6 foot cock – wide – and sticks it’s the slags mouth after bumming her beau. Pricks that treat the world like it’s a theme park and have no respect for the dangers out there whether it’s foreign countries, or the plain old British seaside, don’t deserve any sympathy. Fuck ’em.

  16. The Guardian should start a campaign to get them released. After all it’s their demographic……young, naive, know it all, soshul meeja junkies who have swallowed the liberal, pro peaceful, one world bullshit.
    Cunts.

    • They could send Owen Jones out as a special envoy. Or perhaps a hostage exchange, send Polly Filler as well.

      • OJ is the man (?) for the job. His superb mind and eloquence are sure to bring the couple home. On a more positive note all three may find themselves away from Dear Old Blighty for a considerable period bringing a period of joy to all of the cunts on this site.

  17. Excellent counting, what a pair of retards, it’s a form of natural selection these cunts will have their government’s campaigning for years trying to get these cunts back, well don’t try to hard same as with Radhally whatever Radcliff, no one cares if they are stupid enough to go there in the first place and then put themselves in a position where something like this can happen then lots of luck cunts see you in 5 to 10 years for good behavior if your lucky, still gives them plenty of time to contemplate how not to be cunts….fuck them all….

    • They’ll still be cunts. People like this never fucking learn.

      They’ll just be cunts with arses like Wizard’s sleeves .

  18. I won’t even go to Turkey again after witnessing a gun fight 10 years ago.
    Some young fool was shooting at some other Memit’s . Apparently they insulted his sister.
    I stayed in that Tunisian hotel 3 months before that other maniac went on a shooting spree.
    So no, I won’t go any where near any Peaceful County ever again.

    • Weather it’s Egypt Turkey Tunisia especially Iran. They all come up to to like evil grinning assassins and there all on the fucking take.

  19. Mother of fuck! The Darwinian stupidity of these entitled “this planet revolves around us” cunts knows no bounds. I don’t see many of the well-known travel agents selling all-inclusive holidays to places like Syria or Iran at the moment.

    Their so-called “We’ll prove all this fake news wrong” attitude has knocked on their door and handed them a box of karma with a “you’re fucked” ribbon on top.
    Going to a known Westerner-hating country is asking for death. Clearly they appear to be so self-aware in their grandiose moral compass that they appear to be immune from common sense.
    Pair of deluded dumb fucks. Taking a drone with them? Jesus in a plane, that’s cunting mentalist right there.

    I can’t feel any sympathy for them, especially when her manicured soyboy gets buggered witless by Achmed’s twenty stone sweaty brother ever other night.

    It’s just the same when these thick as shit religious zealots go to some remote island and try to preach their non-existent shit to a bunch of native tribesmen, then get pin-cushioned by arrows and end up in the cooking pot. People are fucking stupid.

  20. Most heartening.

    Electricity is our friend. Darwinism at its best.

    It beggars belief to even wonder what some people have between their ears. Mememememe, shit, EU policies on holding hands, singing Kumbaya, lighting fluffy pink candles…
    Not the slightest notion of common sense.
    “Standing on a piece of shaky masonry 1,000 ft up in variable wind conditions may be harmful to your health.”
    Pffft.

  22. The thing is, deep down these mongs will have known this wasn’t the most intelligent thing to have done but they would also have been sooooo intent on being right and coming back and telling their hated Brexiteers , “look see nothing happened, you racists, let’s have more open borders , Alan’s Snack bar etc”

    They are fucked . I read the Iranians are holding people hoping to do a prisoner exchange with the US.

    Can’t see them being in the mood to give up any Iranian cunts because some daft fucking Australians were in fucking holiday flying a drone about.

    The other Australian locked up there is even funnier. A Cambridge educated academic described as a specialist in Middle East studies.

    Clearly not expert enough to assess the risk of being locked up there.

    I truly have no sympathy

  23. The narcissism of these cunts beggars belief. I shall go on trip advisor and rate the Evin prison in which they are being held as ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.

  25. Seeing as Iran are probably involved with the attack on the Saudi oil refinery, which is bound to put the fucking price of fuel up, those Instagram twats will probably end up cellotaped to some reactor, as human shields. Fuck the Middle East. I only care about fuel prices.

  26. Earlier BBC report on these two optimists was that they had been camping in a military zone. With a fucking drone? I invoke Darwin.

  27. I’d definitely try and fuck some sense into her, but I’m sure we would both come away disappointed though.

  29. Another pair of twats that refused to believe Islam is evil shit, because their nursery to university indoctrinators told them otherwise. Good riddance.

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