Insipid bosses are absolute fucking cunts.
I spend limited time in an office as a mechanical engineer (say 2-3 days per week, can sometimes be less), the rest is either working from home or meeting associates around the country. But the time I do spent in our office is a wretched, soul-sucking affair with the stench of indifference permeating every fucking square inch of the place.
I remember my first boss in the early 2000’s was one who was a real bastard to all non-hackers and outside professions of whom we had dealings, but was fiercely protective of his own staff and the working environment. This fucker was the one who got on his own hands and knees to pull around IT cables each afternoon for a full week when the maintenance consultants were delayed. He helped redecorate and fit-out the local office himself and he took control whenever anyone tried to fuck us about. Hindsight is 20/20 I know, but I thought leaving them for a larger firm was ‘progression’ and now bitterly regret it.
The management of the regional office where I work now are a complete fucking nightmare. No commitment to anything, always laughing off real problems instead of showing a dire need to control matters. Clients have ripped the firm off of a fortune, but they just don’t fucking care. Last year I was invited to join the regional board but I could see just how hamstrung every issue would be with their indecision, reluctance to show any innovation or desire to change things which aren’t working. So I effectively told them ‘fuck that for a game of soldiers.’.
As someone senior, I am fortunate enough to largely work solo and independent of the office on many projects. I feel sorry for the more junior staff, some of whom joined just as this flood hit, who have known nothing but a workplace which doesn’t fucking care in the slightest.
If your boss or manager is at all motivational, even if it is caricature management speak, then trust me, be fucking grateful. My bosses are exactly like that company George Costanza worked for towards the end of ‘Seinfeld’; not caring about anything or anyone outside of their own impending fucking retirements.
High time I took my fucking keister elsewhere, methinks.
Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back
My bosses in my previous workplace were truly awful, just a collection of ladder climbers, there to get a name for themselves usually at our expense. They’d do their 12 to 18 months of pulling people up for menial things and really trying to fuck someone over if they made a genuine mistake.
I’d lost all hope, so I left, I didn’t trust my new place to be any better, but to my shock they were the polar opposite. Proper man managers, would literally bend over backwards to help you, one bloke was having a particularly awful day where everything seemed to go wrong and he was already running late, one of our gaffers offered to finish the days work off for him so he could get off home. That seems like such a little thing, but you’d be surprised to see the reaction of my previous managers, they wouldn’t have done anything to help out.
Too many places now seem to have managers who haven’t earned their place, they’re just yes men, carrying out orders from above. Fuck them.
22
Well, if you think managers in the private sector can be duff, look at the cunts in education. In 36 years I encountered one head teacher and a handful of deputy heads who were any good. The rest were a collection of greasy pole climbers . One ,who insisted on taking my year 13 economics group often arranged to be absent on the areas she didn’t understand so that I had to fill in for her. The students hated her as she fucked up their opportunities to get to good universities. On the other hand teaching A Level Economics looked good on her CV when she eventually left for even greater things.
15
Ever met a Calvary officer?
8
Did she go on to advise Gorgon Brown?
5
I tend to use the expression “Hitting the target, but missing the point”.
Sales are up comes the cry, well yes because you are selling it at such a low mark up that we cant cover rent, wages, or transport. Next thing you know the redundancy bell is tolling, but he hit his targets so he is ok
9
At various places I worked, I’ve encountered had some of the shittiest people as Bosses. Usually fortunate with colleagues but not so much with managers. One seemed to be perpetually going through a painful divorce, one suffered terribly from ‘short-man syndrome’, and one was a bitter, ugly single-woman who lived on her nerves. Another was so poorly-educated he had to pretend to be dyslexic to cover his mistakes though that never explained his belligerence or acting/dressing/speaking like a fat, profane bus driver. The cunt.
10
Have we worked together?…….short man syndrome tsk tsk, I prefer vertically challenged.
4
I am retired now so dont have to put up with any shit, throughout my working life I have good and bad bosses in both large and small companies.
Only had experience of one nasty cunt, he was a fucking nutter, could never read how he was going to react, eventually he was sacked because of a number of complaints.
The bastard was only ever nasty when it was one to one but he slipped up one day when he had a stand up shouting match with one of his junior managers and it was overheard by a very senior guy in the organisation.
It was a very happy day when he went, however his replacement wasnt much better but at least you knew where you stood with him.
8
‘Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss’.
7
To say I’m happily retired is a fucking understatement. It wasn’t the bosses I hated, but office life.
I was a “boss”, and I did enjoy being so, adopting a particapatve style, and I would never ask anyone to do anything that I wouldn’t do myself. Sometimes I would spend a day In assembly, helping out stockroom, filing, anything really.
If anything went well, I praised my people, if anything went wrong, it was my fault.
I think my people were as happy as I could make them. (Having said that, they probably thought I was a cunt!!)
,
12
In every aspect of life (especially work) there’s always a cunt. If there isn’t a cunt, it’s probably you.
1
86 per cent of bosses are cunts. Fact. And i’m sorry to say this rises too 94 per cent for female bosses.
Though this could be because of the unspoken reality of ‘time of the month’.
8
Two fucking brilliant bosses, The first was a gentleman of the old school. The second rang him up one evening and told him I was too tired to do call that night ( Had had a cunt of a week for five days, Never mind Cunty Mort leave it to me. Rang me up the next day, how are you? Magic said I slept the clock round 12 hours flat out . You cunt of a night said he no wonder you rang me. the rest were weapons grade bellends. Short man syndrome aka sawn off cunt, IMHO
6
Most offices are like The Office. You think that was a fictional comedy? No, it was a documentary.
7
CJ from the Reggie Perrin was my fave boss. “Nice office Reggie. Nice view! I didn’t get where I am today without recognising a nice view!”
“Yes CJ. Pity the asbestos plant next to the slaughterhouse spoils the view of the marshalling yard.”
10
Always struggled with Bosses, happier self employed.
Once i worked for a firm for 10yrs, weekly paid, not bad money, and went to the tax office too see if I was due a tax return, turns out they had me down as not working there for 4yrs!
Boss had kept my NI and tax and same with few other lads, been paying for flying lessons for his son though!
Luckily for me had loads of paypackets in a draw at home, or id of been liable to pay it again, triggered a tax fraud investigation and had to take my boss to employment tribunal.
Wonder what my reference would say?😀
9
My boss is a total cunt…. and I’m self-employed
20
Empire, without wishing to blow smoke in the environs of your anus, you are clearly an intelligent chap, but (rarely for an Engineer – I know as a Civil Engineer myself) you are articulate and have the gift of getting the attention of people through your words and wit.
What I am saying is – why the fuck don’t you set up on your own?
10
V kind words Paul, many thanks. Let’s just say that going solo is a very real possibility. I already have many clients I deal with exclusively. I just need to get my arse into gear with regard sizing up my own premises etc.
5
I don’t think you will regret it.
If you have some supportive clients then that is the major part of the struggle out of the way. A business plan, a website and a Companies House registration and some money to cushion cashflow and you have the building blocks to getting started.
It is just taking the leap of faith…
4
You can’t do enough for a good boss, it’s finding the cunt that’s the problem.
4
Gospel truth. It took me until I was 39 and it was a shock transitioning to that, but fuck me if it’s not the best.
1