Damien Hirst

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Damien Hirst and the gullible cunt that pay him. What the fuck is the shite he churns out about?

I’m sane and fairly normal bloke and I see absolutely no merit at all in a fucking cow cut in half and pickled. Who are these twats wasting their cash on this shit? They are even more of a cunt that the man himself. He must go to bed and piss himself laughing every bloody night. I reckon he read ‘The Emperors New Clothes’ when he was a kid and has cunted ever since. Apparently he’s worth over £300 million.

The world is full of massive cunts, that all I have so say.

Nominated by Bertram Cuntatious DCO

42 thoughts on “Damien Hirst”

  1. Take a plastic, medical model of a human being.
    Make a 20 foot high replica.
    Call it something pretentious like “Hymn.”
    Flog it to a wealthy idiot for £1.3 million.

    Although he’s a cunt, the joke’s on the cretins with too much money who snaffle up this crap for whatever vain or spurious reason.

  2. Like many things art is subjective. One man’s rubbish is one man’s treasure.
    That unmade bed by Tracy emmin. I wish I thought of that.

    Mind you, they probably have great PR or that saying it’s not what you know but who you know.

    There’s that German artist who takes bodies of dead people and fills then with resin and makes cross sections etc.

    I saw some of Damien’s art at the Tate modern a few years ago. There was a room full of living butterflies, and a medicine cabinet filled with his mother’s pills.

  3. You know his ‘dot ‘ paintings? He has a studio where they are churned out by his minions. They are not even done by him!. I am reminded of the monkey that was given a blank canvas and paint and brushes. The resultant ‘work ‘ was placed in a gallery and people were asked what they thought that artist ‘ was trying to say’. It was fuckin hilarious.

  4. If i remember rightly he said was not really into art but making money.

    All this bollocks , piles of bricks with plastic on top, scrunched up plain paper on another plain piece, dirty beds and tents.

    It’s not art it’s pure cuntishness , ppl want to look and sound like they have some deeper connection with the “soul” then we plebs.

    And all their art is nothing but pretentious cack, if anyone can do your art just as well as you then it’s not art it’s uncreative and talentless.

  5. I remember coming home pissed one night, years ago, switched on the telly and there was this comedy sketch show.
    There were 2 posh wankers in front of this canvas, covered in sploshes and lines and pontificating about the deep inner meaning and all that bollocks. I was pissing myself.
    But then it went on and on and I thought…….what the fuck is going on here, they’ve done this joke to death. So I looked in the paper and it was an Open University programme. (remember those?)
    20th Century Art. Unit 4 : The Work of Jackson Pollock.
    Of course , i’ve since found out who this Pollock was. What a saucy cunt. Talk about taking the piss.

    • ‘In 1877, John Ruskin accused James Whistler of ‘flinging a pot of paint in the public’s face’.

      Fuck me Jackson Pollock 100 years later did actually ‘fling pots of paint’ on the canvas. And we now call it ‘great art’.

  6. Him and that other pretentious one trick pony of a cunt, Tracy Emin – both should be sliced up and thrown into a huge fish tank of formaldehyde with Emin sucking on Hurst’s tiddler while he has his entire head up her gaping cunt!

    That’s art, darling!

    • There was an artist who shat in tin cans and sold it as “Merda d’Artista”. I saw a can in a gallery in San Marino once when I was about 11.

      I think Hirst is actually very clever – his clients are cunts. He knows the stuff he sells is shit. However, the moment that people stop buying it, its value plummets. Therefore, every time he makes new crap, the people who bought his stuff before, have to keep buying it – otherwise, their million pound pickled shark is worth fuck-all. Very clever I think – wish I had thunk it.

      There was a girl on Antiques Cuntshow a while back – she was Hirts’s bird at art college and he had sketched a picture of her mum’s dogs. Very good it was – however the “expert” said it was worth nowt as it wasn’t what he was known for – figure that one out.

    • I think that some geezer in the Tate gallery hierarchy made paintings using elephant shit amongst other crap.

  8. On holiday in Cornwall I had the misfortune to visit both the Barbra Hepworth museum and the Tate modern, I can now understand why that chap threw the kid off the viewing platform (frustration caused by looking at shit that someone insists is art) in fact I did find myself looking for a suitable candidate on the coffee shop balcony.

  9. Don’t bother with an art studies degree to convince people you’re an expert on said media.

    Just stand in front of a painting, continually rub your chin and comment how the artist has clearly suffered to produce such work….

    Art my arse….

  10. I would pay him to dunk Suck Dick Khunt in acid. Indeed I would settle down with some popcorn!

    • Isn’t all Suck Dick getting all concerned about the rise of the Far Right?

      If so he needs to take a look at the reasons why given that a lot of white blokes (mostly working class or unemployed) are becoming more and more marginalised by the progressive (read fascist) Left/Liberals.

  11. Nevertheless, I think he and Banksy should collaborate on a joint project. Designed so that when this is sold for millions, both ‘artists’ will automatically be shredded with it. I may shed a small tear for Banksy, though.

  12. This topic has inspired me. I am thinking of making art.
    I was thinking if any fellows here feels inclined to perhaps create and share some art as well. It could be ISAC related. Perhaps a caricature of mayvis may etc.

  13. In another hilarious incident a couple of blokes visiting a ‘ modern art ‘ gallery thought it contained so much shit they tried a little experiment. They placed a pair of sunglasses with a pen on top of them in a corner of 1 room.then stood back and watched. Sure enough a short time later 3 or 4 people were stood around stroking their chins and giving their expert opinions.

  14. Art cunt of the first order.
    Exclusively fashioned for academia and the wealthy, and made to bewilder us coarse proles.
    He makes bullshit, which is bought by bullshitters who inflate the price to flog on to other bullshitters, ad infinitum.
    An unholy and totally artificial, self-sustaining market of no use to no cunt apart from the rich.
    Brian Sewell sorted these cunts out – he saw straight through all this shite, and had done so since the 60’s. They were terrified of the truth he professed.
    Cunts.

    • Brian Sewell, loved the way he used to tear the cunts to pieces. He was someone i took notice of.

  15. I think the problem I have with this utter shameless cunt, is that he is probably at such an extreme level of delusion now , that he believes he is really talented

    I’d quite like to punch him hard in the face, whilst driving him to an ISAC Re-education Camp,

  16. I’m obstinately old-school on this. I CAN draw/paint (began my cartooning career with The Topper Comic when I was 14 years old). If said “artist” can’t draw/paint something that looks like what they’re trying to represent, then I’m afraid – artist you ain’t !

    Then again, any art, classic or modern, is only ever worth what some daft cunt is prepared to pay for it. Snobbery in artistic circles leads to gobshite like Damo’s commanding figures way in excess of its artistic merit.

    • With you. I claim to be 1/2 a grade up from ‘dabbler’ status as I actually sold a couple of paintings (a very long time ago). I noticed that the efforts I’d done with the intention of selling them never sold: The best one went to a reputable collection, and I’ve regretted selling it ever since because it’s the only one I was satisfied with myself. The other was on commission.

      I was pretty well brought up on Japanese art by my father, who was into it, and its blend of disciplined abstraction and formal representation is something I still wish I could do.

  17. The staggering stupidity of the “upper classes” and the arty types baffles me. That cunt Dom Joly summed it up pretty well during his hidden camera sketches about poetry reading. A bunch of cunts were assembled and Joly appeared onstage to read them his poems. One was called “Blah”. It went ” blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah… ” and so on. His other poem went “One. Two. Three. Four…” etc etc.
    After intensely listening,these stupid twats gave him a round of applause at the end of each poem. In normal society,the cunt would have been boo’ed off and told to never come back. Daft cunts.

  18. What happened to those two poofs Gilbert and George? I saw a tv programme about them years ago, one of their paintings was called ‘Piss Hole’.
    If these ‘artists’ can get people to pay a small fortune for their work, good luck to them. I could provide any amount of shit if someone paid me.

  19. Same as those who hang on the every word of that fucking idiot poof Grayson Perry aka Widow Wankee. In anywhere but Londonistan,the dickhead would quite rightly receive a daily kicking. Fucking arsehole.

  21. These arthouse Bohemian cunts are all the same. Love to have their arseholes lovingly polished by some dullard cunt with cash to burn and call their shit “a thought-provoking work of genius”. Cunt off on that. An unmade bed with shit and dried period stains all over it is just grim. A picked cow in a glass box isn’t art, it’s just fucking weird. If I wanted a pickled cow in a box, I’d take my ex’s mother and seal her in a vat of Sarsons. Cunt.

  22. Hirst did a dead shark in a tank of formaldehyde which he called “The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living”. He really was laughing all the way to the bank. Here is a link to said ‘art work’:
    https://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/16/arts/design/16muse.html

    How about a turd in an upside down pint glass by the unknown artist Cuntologist entitled “The Physical Reality of 10 Pints of Beer in the Mind of Someone Before Consumption. See this bollox is easy.

    • You should read the NY Times review more closely, then you might understand the artist’s intentions. “In keeping with the piece’s title, the shark is simultaneously life and death incarnate in a way you don’t quite grasp until you see it, suspended and silent, in its tank. It gives the innately demonic urge to live a demonic, deathlike form.”
      There, the meaning of the piece becomes obvious, even to those who fail to appreciate the finer points of art.
      Philistine!

      • Hmmm interesting. Another idea would be to remove the shark from the tank and use it to beat the NY Times reviewer to death,thus demonstrating the fine line between life and death in a one-time-only performance art piece.

      • Doing pre- ‘O’ level Biology at school, I was sat next to a dissected rabbit in a tank of formalin. This excited in me the awareness that all things are subject to change and that dropping ink into the tank from my fountain pen revealed universal aspects of the hydrodynamics of flow and diffusion, ultimately resulting in the unique synthesis of a blue dissected rabbit in a tank of formalin.

        I coulda been a contender. If only I’d thought of a name for my masterpiece.

    • She is. She is a drunken gargoyle-faced old hag who totally looks like she stinks of piss. Horrendous old tramp.

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