What kind of sadistic, selfish cunt brings young children onto a international flight? Fucking cunting parents that have no consideration for any fucker else.
Not only do they wish to ruin the start of there own vacation, but they take it upon themselves to fuck over every other cunt on the plane. Why not leave the orphan cunts at home with grandma and grandpa as payback for all the shit times they sent the little fuckers back home juiced up on lollies fizzy pop and snuff ( that grandpa accidentally left out on the armchair). But no, they decide it will be a good cunting idea to take the screaming “I want my fucking own way” little rascal shit bags with them, with there snotty noses, coughing and breathing out every cold/flu virus known to man.
There you sit, poised in your four square feet of personal space only to have the back of your chair repeatedly kicked by a snotty nose cunt called Declan ( fuck only nose why you’d call your kid ‘Declan’, but’s that’s another rant) while the mother watches “I’m a cunt on love island” and dads snoring after a few pints before hand because he had a sleepless night previous due to the fucking little turd.
Then there’s the toddler screaming his FUCKING tiny lungs out, mum and the sperm donor trying there best to humour the little shit with coo coo sounds and it’s all suppose to be excepted…. “Well it fucking ain’t!“ CUNTS!!! After an hour, air hostesses offers some kind of small squeaky toy, “sometimes not small enough I think” that pacified the little prick, their attention span being five minutes or less depending on how much alcohol was consumed on the night copulation was engaged. What is it with so called fucking parents these days, haven’t they heard of Phenergan? Maybe I’ve got it all wrong and it’s the airline fault by not accommodating for the TPPC
(Transit Parent Passenger Cunts)
Maybe they should include some kind of cattle pen in the baggage deck and herd the fuckers like animals, letting the inconsiderable parents and there young coo, baa, moo and wail together.
BAN CUNTS ON PLANES (Let it be noted I do not hate young children, and do blame the TPPC 100)
https://liveandletsfly.boardingarea.com/2018/02/14/demonic-child-lufthansa-flight/
Nominated by Jase the pom
That bratty little cuntwipe should have ended up in the overhead locker.
14
If had been a passenger on that plane I would asked for compensation from the airline for mental stress.
10
What pisses me off is the fucking mothers who are so ‘modern’ they refuse to let their little (baby) brats have a dummy.
‘Madam maybe your little one would be soothed if he/she had a dummy to suck’
‘Oh no Tarquin and I dont believe in artificial methods’
‘Well try sticking Tarquins cock in its fucking mouth’
CUNTS!
14
I absolutely love the hatred and passion that went into this cunting. I fucking hate kids, especially on flights..and pubs…and restaurants..and supermarkets, etc But I hate the feckless parents even more, oblivious to the inconvenience and hassle they cause to everyone else.
23
I think you’re an unfeeling set of cunts!
No doubt it calmed down when it got home, after it’s head had rotated 360° and it upchucked a good batch of pea & ham soup!
11
You whay she did your cunting daughter
4
Haven’t seen him for some time on here.
4
What a fucking little cunt. Fucking Yanks, they’re the worst. I remember, years ago I was on a boat trip in New York, going round the Statue of Liberty and all that shit. A little bastard in front was talking to his Dad like he was a piece of shit. I want this, I want that, do this , do that, shut the fuck up……..it was astonishing and the bloke was just taking it like he was talking to a fucking slave or something. Eventually the bloke got up to get the little shit an ice cream. My mate was fucking fuming “I’m going to slap that fucking cunt.”
I had to literally hold him down in his seat. “Fuck you, you’ll get us arrested and on the next plane home you silly cunt.”
We had to move somewhere else so he couldn’t witness the further cuntishness of this horrible kid. I hope Dad got the right ice cream or the cunt would have shoved it in his face.
12
Don’t have a go at grandparents. They deserve a break from sweet little grandchildren too. It’s a fuckin blessed relief that I’m spared endless repeats of Peppa Pig, Bing Bunny and fuckin’ Hey Duggie for a week or two. I’m saving up so I can send mine to Oz. That should keep em out of my hair for a bit longer. With a bit of luck they might decide to fuckin’ emigrate!
11
Perhaps the slap scene featured in Airplane would help here if handed out to the parents. By the time the queue diminished perhaps young Gonnerhea or Clamidia
might get the idea a big cup of S.T.F.U. Might be appropriate.
Either that or a cattle prod on the little cunts might do the trick.
Or kids on their own flight with the cunting parents, let them all piss each other off as the kids join the mile high cunts club.
5
My 14 year old son has made several flights on his own, one was a return flight to Tokyo.
He is always extremely well behaved and has impeccable manners.
It is the Japanese way.
10
Kids behave how the parents let them,
My kids were well mannered and behaved, didnt hit them, didnt need too!
Would of done no fuckin problemo!
But never needed too.
My dad gave me plenty of wingers growing up, deserved everyone of them, no resentment.
Its seen as a social taboo now to twat your naughty kid,
That’s why theyre badly behaved!!
Do em a favour an give em the odd rabbit punch.
14
To fucking right !
5
Indeed. For years it was peer pressure that turned most people away from properly disciplining their bastard offspring, but a few still sorted shit out the old fashioned way, with a sharp backhander. Then they made it law that you couldn’t slap the little shits, and now the country is full of young cunts who get away with fucking murder. Now, the only time you see someone slapping a brat is a scummy mummy losing it in a supermarket, surrounded by tutting cunts, ready to film it for some Facebook justice. Fuck the soppy cunts, plane, pub, supermarket, brings out the Brady in me.
9
Pop to the doctor’s a couple of weeks before the flight, say that you’re shit-scared of flying and ask for a small prescription (half a dozen) of diazepam. Wear both comfy earplugs and ear muffs and between that and being gently monged, you’d not even care if an engine or two fell off the wing, let alone someone’s piece of shit kid…it’s the only way to fly.
9
I found it always helped if I took a couple of large gin and tonics to wash down the diazepam.
9
Or. Drop the diazepam in the kids drink!
Nice and quiet journey!
DONT get caught drugging kids,
People always assume the worst….
12
“How to drug your kid and have a peaceful night out with friends”…by Kate and Gerry.
25
Naughty that. Even though the fucking world knows it to be true!
7
Bill Cosby would like you to know that drugging children is a vile act, drugging each other should be strictly reserved for one consenting adult and one adult who may not consent but will be stoned out of their tiny mind in around 5 minutes.
4
Drop them in the parents’ drinks then slap the kid silly.
10
I can remember a faggy American Airlines steward saying to an equally pillow-biting colleague on a flight to South America in a very loud voice – presumably assuming the parents could not understand – “I´m going to deliberately spill a drink over that horrible little spic brat if he opens his mouth again”. I reckon he fancied the boy and was hoping to have a good feel as he mopped him up.
7
” Let it be noted that I do not hate young children”….well, I fucking do…older ones too….noisy,greedy,unhealthy benefit-sponges,the whole fucking lot of them.
Their selfish parents can Sod Off too and keep the product of their vile union to themselves.
Thieving bastards,child benefit,indeed…the Cunts should be double taxed for breeding,not fucking rewarded.
Fuck them.
22
Dick, any chance you could babysit this weekend?
Dont like to ask but me n mrs miserable are going out, and the mccanns are busy..
10
‘ fraid I’ve got next week’s Sermon to write and a wedding to perform,MNC.
Amen .
12
Shame, they like kindly old rosy cheeked uncle Dick, he sung us ‘run rabbit run’ and he smells like your whisky bottle daddy!”
8
Anyway mortimer & whitehouse gone fishing! Is on now, im off !!
Summers almost gone
, summers almost gone
Winters comin on,
Summers almost gone…
5
Walked into a field today and saw what appeared to be a row of large rabbits.
As I moved forward, they moved back.
Receeding hare line….
9
Bloody great that program Miserable. As a one time keen angler, I think it’s brilliant. Amongst all the dross comedians at the moment, these are two genuine funny men.
I think even anyone who didn’t like fishing would like this program.
4
Evening Blunty, it has a massively soothing effect on me, im completely absorded watching it, stress flees my body and blood pressure drops, love it!
Bob mortimer is one of my favourite famous people, dont normally go for ‘celebs’ but like Bob!!👍
4
Absorbed obviously
4
I am in complete agreement Dick. I work in the indoor play industry and there is no natural force more wantonly destructive than a child. Their ingenuity knows no bounds – however safe/bombproof you construe to make any piece of play kit, these satanic little bastards will find a way to destroy it – thus ensuring their grasping parents can make a decent compo-claim, of course.
7
Ah! So it’s you Seymour that operates these ball pits.
They’ve got a reputation for being unhygienic so I’ve only one thing to ask you – do you wash your balls?
https://www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/are-childrens-ball-pits-really-riddled-killer-germs/
6
Wouldn’t operate one if you paid me, Blunters. And ballpits are utterly fucking minging – Most new build play frames don’t bother with one. Dirty fucking efforts. That said, they’re good for a few £ coins, if you don’t mind scraping the scum off them first.
4
My own balls are spotlessly blemish-free, thanks for your concern. Albeit a tad under-employed these days.
6
Who the hell is going to inherit ‘Fiddler Towers’ when you go? I assume you don’t have an heir apparent? Perhaps you should donate your estate to the Friends of Somalia? That way you’ll rest easy in the knowledge that you have contributed to the well being of those less fortunate than yourself.
9
Oh I have gone to great lengths to ensure that none of the greedy Cunts will have cause to forget “the miserable old Cunt” as I am so fondly known amongst my kin. They may be grinning when they hear that I’ve croaked,but even from beyond the grave I’ll still be able to wipe the smile off their faces.
Fuck them.
11
Heir apparent is a flimsy excuse for the following:
Q: What’s the difference between
the prince of Wales;
a bald head; and
a monkeys mother
A:
Heir apparent
No hair apparent
Hairy parent
4
The three stages of a mans life
Tri weekly
Try weekly
Try weakly
8
I always remember with glee the time that I was coming back from the York Meeting on the train and had to go for a shit. After a few days of rich food and Guinness the smell was vile,rancid, but as I quickly tried to shut the door when I came out of the shitter,a Mother was stood with a young kid…they must have got an eye-watering blast of the noxious fumes because the kid started..”No,Mummy.no…I don’t want to”,but “Mummy” must have had enough to the little brat and shoved it in kicking and screaming and wouldn’t let it out for a good 5 minutes….We all cheered as she finally let the half-gassed brat out and led it back to it’s seat.
12
On behalf of us all, thanks for that Fiddler – karma for the little bastards.
Good evening to you.
6
I bet the little whelps eyes were stinging after a dose of the ‘Fiddler brown mist’. At least on planes you get the emergency oxygen masks although a potent rouge jobbie probably doesn’t qualify their deployment.
7
A similar solution is suggested on the plane. Allocate a single crapper cubicle to the little cunt and barricade him in.
And if there really is a Dog he will stick his head in the shitter and somehow hit the super-vac button.
5
My hatred of children is well documented, so imagine how I felt after boarding a single cabin plane flying from London to Manchester, when I was shown to my seat by the stewardess. There was a short row of five seats right at the back, four of which were occupied by a woman and her three little kids, all of whom were screaming their fucking heads off. Not the woman, she had a stupid grin on her face, as though it wasn’t her fault and there was nothing she could do about it. The stewardess said apologetically “Your seat’s in the corner next to the window.” I said “It doesn’t have to be.” I managed to persuade her to let me sit in the mid cabin area where there were some spare seats. If the plane had been full, I’d have got off. More than flesh and blood can stand.
7
Yep, I know all about this, I remember the flight from hell from Yankland years ago and part of that hell was some little devil toddler screaming its head off endlessly. For 6 hours.
9
Off subject,
The Mail Online has a story about some woman decorating her kitchen. At the end of the story is a bit urging readers who have a money-saving tip to send it to pheobe eckersley @the mail online. I’ve sent her a recycled tip from Viz…….
” I cleverly save money on fitted carpets by cutting two foot-shaped pieces out of a neighbour’s carpet which I then stuck to the soles of my feet…. Hey Presto..the feeling of walking on a luxurious carpet wherever I go at a fraction of the cost”
See what the bitch makes of that one.
10
Save money on flashy expensive foreign beach holidays by tying sandpaper to your feet walking round in your underpants,
And putting a extra bar on the fire… Also Viz
12
Was that endorsed by Mrs B from Essex?
2
Save money on expensive flights to Islamabad. Just take a walk down the Barking Road.
11
Save money by not reporting your neighbours death and ordering more expensive items left by the milkman
Like yoghurts & eggs!..Viz
9
Drivers-avoid prosecution for using your mobile phone whilst driving by
Simply popping it inside a large shell!
The police will simply assume your
Listening to the sea!-viz
11
Speaking of spoilt, overindulged brats Edinburgh Education Authority have come up with a corking idea. They’re going to allow kids to bunk off school for one day a year to attend a climate change demo.
They don’t get it do they? The whole attraction is the defiance of bunking off. If you’ve got permission then you ain’t bunking off. No cunt will turn up except half a dozen Greta Thunderpants wannabes. But it’s all part of the brainwashing I suppose.
You can bet your life private schools won’t be following this example. They’re the cunts who will be running the country while the sheep are getting fucked over as usual.
3
It was their lefty teachers who groomed the kids to bunk off in the first place.
As you suggest, making it official is likely to be counter productive. And besides one day a year will never be enough for these climate change fanatics.
3
Desperate for attention? Stick two ballons up your shirt, get your mate to beat you up so your face is all puffed up.
People will think you are Katie Price and take photos of you wherever you go.
5
I walked into B&Q the other day and a guy in black and orange uniform asked me if I wanted decking,
Luckily I got the first punch in, and that was that!
But others might not be so lucky,
So be on your guard!
8
Want to be Prime Minister? Grow a gut, jowels and multiple chins. Wear a drab grey suit and Hush Puppies and talk like a fucking wanker. People will think you are The Right Honourable Kenneth Clarke and you’re in.
3
Exclusive: Met Police decided not to conduct full investigation into court claims of sex trafficking of girl in Prince Andrew photo.
Wonder why that is then?
6
I forsee the ‘tragic’ death of Mr. Porchester in a chopper accident.
3
As some wit once scrawled on a children’s clothing advert on the tube, ‘Kids are shit’.
1
I am nearly a non smoker.
I miss the flights with smoking seats, up the back, with intelligent people.
Check-in never put the kiddies among those evil inhalers.
And cabin crew, probably because they liked the evil weed themselves would be up at the back, keeping us replenished with Johnny Walker and beer.
0