Professional Charity Beggars

Posted on by

I’m nominating professional charity beggars. These cunts that get in your face when you’re just trying to go about your life.

I work in town and there they are, every fucking day, relentlessly harassing people to sign up for ‘Save The Children’, ‘Age UK’, ‘Pal my wombat’, Sad fucking starving kid etc etc. Annoying, thieving bastards. They get paid for this shit but cannot see the irony of that. They are inevitably young lesbos, homos or scruffy looking cunts with dreadlocks and body hygiene issues.

Just fuck off and let me walk, in peace, through the bloody streets. Bastards.

Nominated by Bertram Cuntatious DCO

42 thoughts on “Professional Charity Beggars”

  5. When they ask if I’ve got five minutes to spare, I always say ” I’ve got ten if you’ll tell me how much you’re personally making,how much of every Pound is spent on Admin. and how much actually goes to the cause”. I then like to follow up by saying that I actually support whatever it is that they’re fighting and think that there should be far more of it…particularly if it involves starving brown babies or drowning migrants.

    Fuck them.

    • You see all these little black kids drinking rhino piss and the charity wanting to give them water. 18 years later the little bastard is grown up and in a dinghy in the middle of the Channel. Just how much water do the cunts want?

      • I’m actually rather worried about those migrants drowning in the Channel. I enjoy some fresh Dover Sole occasionally but as a bottom-feeding fish they are likely to be contaminated by bottom-dwelling,waterlogged Dark Keys.

  6. just another hassle to endure in modern urban society. One day someone will shout “enough is fucking enough!” and hopefully the silent majority will join in and tell all those annoying cunts to fuck off once and for all – and not just chuggers either, but all the other irritating “what about my cause” cunts!

  7. Any cunt who thinks they are going to have my money to send kiddy fiddlers to poor countries to fuck their children can kiss my arse and suck my cock.
    Cunts.

    • Not contributing to Prince Andrew’s next “golfing” holiday then, Freddie?

      • Am sure that he’s listed as Mr. Porchester in my copy of The Almanach de Rotter.

      • Afternoon,HBH.
        I was having a look at some photos comparing Andrew and Porchester. They really do have more than a passing resemblance.

    • Once married to Harold “you dirty old man” Steptoe played by the Great Harry H Corbett.

      • Harry H. Corbett. Great actor, apparently a nice guy and a much more convincing cockney than Danny Dyer,despite being a Mancunian.

      • Wythenshawe lad.
        Killed a man with his bare hands in army.
        Great actor, warm, funny, just a pleasure to watch.

      • Have family in Ancoats who knew Harry… Said he was a nice bloke and there was nothing flash about him… Superb in Steptoe, but his guest appearance in the Goodies is also worth checking out….

      • I’ll have a look at that.
        Our kid lives in wythenshawe, but dont think theres anything to commemorate Harry H, no plaque or owt.
        Think i mentioned other week constantly pass Arthur Lowes house, thats got a blue plaque.

  10. I don’t do chugging, I don’t get paid but I do collect for a charity (a nice little small one with open books so you know what is what, the CEO is paid £26k a year and lives on site giving 24hr care to the hounds (so its not a fiddle))
    What pisses me off is the “Adopt a Greyhound” slogan, members of the public seem to think they will get a fluffy toy and letters from a literate K9 (not so, my dim whited friend) others seem to get the idea that my hound is the one up for adoption, so a polite “No fuck off, go pick one and domesticate it yourself” is in order and sometimes kid’s get a bit over friendly with a very patient large dog that can pop tennis balls in its mouth (Do not pull his tail or twist his ears kiddie, if he doesn’t get you I will).
    Bit off topic I know, but just back from a lovely holiday in Cornwall which seems to be the worse destination possible if you have mobility issues, steps like bob sleigh tracks .

  11. Had a cunt collecting for guide dogs, I want your bank details. I’ll donate, No your bank details standing order. Me, FUCK OFF no donation.. Dozy wanker

  12. Think it was one of the posters on this illustrious site, when asked if they could spare a pound, replied with the most brilliant “sorry, I only have twenties”.

    Many years ago my youngest daughter worked for the RSPCA for about a week in a pretty grotty part of London, was told to fuck off more often than not and one of the guys also doing this close by had the shit kicked out of him (and not for any money either). My daughter earned fuck all and soon realised it was far too dangerous to ask people with fuck all in life to help pay towards the London offices rent and CEO’s salary.

    • Afternoon Willie.

      Nowt agin your daughter but the RSPCA are utter Cunts….immoral, greedy,politically motivated liars. The management don’t care about animals in the sljghtest,they are only interested in money and their childish agenda.

      Fuck them.

      • I fucking despise the RSPCA.
        We had a cat in our village that was 14 yrs old. Due to life long issues it was only a little thing and scrawny as fuck. It was the friendliest thing and would travel all over the village stopping for fuss and everyone knew it. A proper character so to say.
        One afternoon it was outside the Co op being made a fuss of by local kids when a woman pulled up in a car and exclaimed that the cat was being severely neglected and called the RSPCA there and then.
        The cat was loved and looked after with all the necessary vet care and chipping by its owner.
        What did the RSPCA do?
        Took it to the nearby town, didn’t even check for a chip and euthanised it.
        Absolute cunts.

  13. The trick is to keep walking no matter what.
    If you hesitate or stop for even a fraction of a second, they’ve got you.

    You could always employ some Derren Brown style mind-fuckery:
    Next time the RSPCA chuggers stop you, you could look at them in a really depraved way and say “oooh yesss. I like doggies”. I’m pretty sure they’ll leave you alone after that.

  14. Fuck them. I used to give them shit, but the fun went out of it so I only abuse the ones who can’t recognise a don’t bother me, cunty look, which is pretty much what my face has settled into these days. What kind of bellend gives some cunt in a tabard their bank details? There must be no end of the gullible fucks, otherwise this practice would have died off years ago. A lanyard, even with a photo on it is proof of fuck all, cos anyone with a printer could knock one up.
    On the subject of scrounging cunts, there is a new beggar in my town, a local lad, who sits there politely asking for spare change. I fight off the urge to piss on him, or lecture the cunt on the fact that there is no such thing as ‘spare change’ just money earned, and money I have yet to spend. Try working for a living and you’ll soon get the picture. Anyway, he was there again Saturday, only this time he’s dyed his hair blond. So that’s what he needs spare fucking change for! The cheeky twat!

  15. The RSPCA have come in for some stick, so I’d just like to say that my cat is the third one I’ve adopted from them, I’ve come into contact with several animal rescue organisations and they’re easily the best and easiest to deal with. That’s been my experience anyway.

    • I agree Allan.

      I actually would rather give to animal charities as firstly it is a cause dear to my heart and they don’t seem to accost people as much as the larger, ‘people’ charities.

    • I’ll second that. The other day, some cunt here was pulled over after reports of people hearing dogs in distress as they drove past. Turns out the cunt had literally 40+ Chihuahuas stuffed into the back of it.

      The RSPCA took on all of them, despite it stretching them well beyond their means and now, they have brought them all to a position to be adopted. Pretty decent eggs I’d say.

  16. The thing that gets me is when they see the look on your face as they are approaching (a look that say ‘Oh no, for fuck’s sake) and they immediately say

    ‘It’s ok, I’m not asking for money’……

    What bullshit! What they mean is that they are not rattling a tin and asking you to get your purse or wallet out post haste, but what they ARE asking you to do is stand there for 10 minutes while they blab off about poor little starving kids or blind people in Outer Mongolia which ultimately leads all the way up to asking you to sign up to a monthly standing order…..

    So they ARE asking for bloody money!!!!

    Whilst I would give as much as I could if I had the money and understand that what they are doing may be very worthy and all that, I REALLY resent having to dodge these fuckers when out shopping and busy doing daily life errands for fear of being accosted for cash.

    If people want to give to charity, they will do without one of them invading their personal space.

  19. Having walked past these types in Derby literally thousands of times I’ve noticed that, invariably, these teams of beggars are usually comprised of two or three absolutely sizzling hot student babes and one token gay lad that makes Alan Carr look like John Wayne

Comments are closed.