Jamie Bisceglia

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A nomination for the most recent Darwin Awards contender, Jamie Bisceglia, who decided to pose for a photo with an octopus attached to her stupid face, only for the creature to sink its sharp beak into her.

The animal, believed to be a Pacific red octopus, began by attaching its suckers to Bisceglia’s face, before sinking its sharp beak in. The idiot then waited two days before seeking medical attention (her that is, not the poor octopus).Bisceglia now realises that few will sympathise with her injuries, and that what she did was a mistake. The idiot also says she will never try and pose for a photo with an octopus again.

It’s certainly true, once bitten, twice shy. Cunt.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

36 thoughts on “Jamie Bisceglia”

  1. I wish she would try doing that with a great white shark, that had toothache.
    A right cunt and no mistake.

  2. Unless she was killed or lost reproductive capability, she can’t be a contender for the Darwin Award.

  3. A pity it didn’t clamp itself on her face like in “Alien”. Then later pop out of her chest, tear it’s way down her chest and then sink it’s fangs into her fanny. That would be a laugh.
    What kind of bird has a name like Jamie?

  4. Who in their right mind would do that/

    Stupid bitch, shame it wasn’t fatal, otherwise a great contender for the Darwin’s.

    Hope it really hurt.

  5. I’ve had a Giant Bearded Clam attached to my face…although,tbf.,I bit it rather than it biting me….how it howled as I emerged red-faced,slime-covered and gasping for air.

    Fuck Off.

      • She still sends me a “Get Well Soon” card every year on the anniversary of our Earth-shattering coupling,Freddie…remarkable when you consider that she’s fucking mental.

        I note that she’s never been with a Man since…probably knows she’s had the best and would just be left feeling unsated by a normal man.

      • If Ann’s to be believed, she’s never been with a man before or since. You are clearly the blessed one Dick.

      • When I complete my penis reduction and can take public transport like a normal person, I’m going to get on a bus and declare my intentions to Winnie. There’s another rooster in the henhouse Mr Fiddler!

      • Is that before or after your participation in the Olympic Polevaulting Contenders events

    • Have you seen any strange horses in your fields Mr Fiddler? Your neighbours’ fields? Watch out for Willow, ALONE. I believe she might be up there- lurking round your farm, behind an oak tree maybe. See I told you that our relationship ended by the side of the road. Up until then everything was fine, honky dory. I had told her all about and ISAC and showed her some posts. (We communicate telepathically). She seemed particularly interested in you. She even wanted to know your nominees in the Deadpool. Then that strange thing happened. ‘Mathew Festing, the ex Grand Master of the Order of Malta’. And her ears pricked. She became agitated. She communicated to me that she wanted to get going immediately. I asked her why all the rush. Then she revealed all. As I told you she is a member of an obscure sedevcantist schismatic sect that doesn’t believe in the legitimacy of the Popes since Pius lX. Mathew Festing was sacked by Pope Francis. She wanted to get to him so she could convert him to her view. She’s very zealous like that. This is only surmising but I believe that is what happened. See I was reading about him and he does actually live in Northumberland. In a farmorhouse near you maybe? Anyway he lives seclusion almost. Like he’s hiding out. Maybe shes trying to save his life if hes upset the Vatican. I think she wants to get to you in the hope that you can tell her where he lives.

      Maybe RT would be interested in the facts (which I didn’t know) the Order Of Malta issues it’s own currency, has diplomatic relations with many countries, has a seat at the UN.

      • Morning, Miles.

        Mr. Festing isn’t too well at the moment. He had been getting treatment at a private hospital from the Pope’s physician,but that all came to an abrupt halt following the disagreement,of course.
        A genuinely humble man of conviction. He deserved better.

        (Didn’t stop me putting him in the Deadpool,mind)

      • Indeed I am, Mister Sheen. From the German branch of the family, Great-Uncle Fiedler invented the modern flamethrower…a gift to humanity which epitomises the Fiddler regard for Mankind.

        We like to think that a Fiddler was involved in the development of many indiscriminate weapons of mass-destruction…nuclear-bombs,land-mines, napalm etc…but I must stress that we had nothing to do with AIDS…not that we particularly objected to it’s introduction…it was the delivery system that made us baulk.

  8. What a twit she is. She’s lucky it didn’t bite her in the octopussy.

    I imagine Roger Moore raising one of his signature eyebrows.

  9. I have more sympathy for the fucking octopus – which not only had to suffer the indignity of being glued to some old hag’s ugly mug for a selfie; but also probably ended up dead as a result!

    Am surprised the old hag hasn’t sued for not being told about the dangers of slapping an octopus to one’s face!

  10. I suppose she was looking for a photo to post on Cuntbook – “look everyone at how cool and adventurous I am, better than you”. Pathetic. One should really feel sorry for attention seeking Cuntbook addicts like this. Only I don’t.

    Shame the octopus wasn’t a python.

  11. Pity it wasn’t a blue ring octopus!

    That would have made it proper Darwinian!

  12. Ruth Davidson has finally resigned saying “The stress and strain of being leader of the Scottish Conservatives as well as my nationwide comedy tours promoting Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Gala, was proving too much for a quality family work/life balance”.

  13. What is it with these self-obsessed narcissistic CUNTS and since the advert of soshulll meejah they’ve not only got worse, but are multiplying like termites.

    My only regret is that she didn’t try this with a blue-ringed octopus, then I could get a real laugh.

    Hope the octopuses Big Dad or Mum catches her and attached her to its face.

  14. I can’t be the only one wondering what in the name of suffering fuck the daft cow did for two days before seeking medical assistance?!

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