Cunts on Loud Motorcycles

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Cunts who ride deafeningly loud motorcycles in residential areas are cunts in extremis.

Each time one passes my wankshack at unsociable hours, I find myself fervently wishing each time that the inconsiderate, attention-seeking turkeyfucker is mere moments away from being propelled into a solid concrete flyover abutment, contorting head-first into their fucking crankshaft, amid a pile of broken bones, blood and shit.

Utterly fucking insufferable scumcunts.

Nominated by The UMPIRE Cunts Back

101 thoughts on “Cunts on Loud Motorcycles”

  1. What a timely nomination. Every August bank holiday, the Isle of Wight becomes polluted with raw sewage in the form of scooter cunts. There’s fucking thousands of them, and every single one has had the muffler removed. What is the fucking point, surely Darwinian theory would suggest these cunts are extinct.

    • The inconsiderate cunts propel themselves away from their accursed noise pollution.

      So to even things up simply pipe the exhaust into one ear of the noisy cycler and out the other. While there’s not much in there to muffle the fucking racket at least they’ll have to listen to what very other fucker has to.

      • I am the proud owner of an obnoxiously loud motorbike, so loud that I have to wear ear defenders inside my helmet. My bike is so loud that with a quick twist of the throttle I can wake sleeping drunks inside a bus (with closed windows) from 50 paces. Their faces are a picture following said alarm call, probably doing them a favour in making sure they are awake for their stop, they don’t appreciate it though, cunts. I particularly enjoy giving a quick rev whilst at zebra crossings scaring the crossing facebook brigade.

        Favourite rev: girl dropped her phone and called me a cunt. She was right!

    • I have this horrible fat smelly cunt who rides up my street on weekends to visit his in-laws, he rides a big harley and it is fucking deafening. He’s dressed in all black denim and black t-shirt looking like one of the black widows. The thing that really fucks me off is that he will sit on said piece of shit for 10 minutes just revving the fucking thing. I hate this piece of sweaty lard and I hope it’s not long before he’s wrapped around a lamp post, the absolute selfish cunt.

      • Is he feared throughout the land ? These fat tubs of lard need to fucking grow up

  2. Too right. I could have written this nom myself. These fuckers take great delight at disturbing the whole neighbourhood, usually at some god forsaken hour. Their aim is usually to get as many dogs howling as they can. It sets Percy’s teeth on edge. The fuckin infernal machines they drive are usually doctored, taking out the baffle on the silencer. If you or I drove a car making this racket, we’d quite rightly be pulled over by the police. Oh, just a moment! What police? I forgot, they’re too busy investigating ‘hate crime.’

    “Knock,knock.” Good morning officer,

    • There’s one particular fucker who comes down the road near me who you can set your watch by. I have a dream of owning one of those stinger devices( modified of course to instantly shred the tyre). Then to watch him doing his Evel Knievel impersonation, sailing arse over tit into an HGV. Oh no,that wasn’t very nice, make that a bus.

  3. These cunts must have miserable lives. I don’t recall being that frustrated and shitty when I was 19 that I’d deliberately shatter the air serenity. Isn’t there a way we can prevent them like chains in the road risen at the correct time. Maybe razor wire at about five feet?

  4. Can I extend those sentiments to young cunts in blinged-up 15 year old Citroen Saxos etc too? As a lifelong racing fan (not the pile of wank that is modern F1 though), I love the sounds of classic, thoroughbred racing engines in the right place at the right time but not a Ford Fiesta with a fart-box exhaust in a residential street at 1am. Inconsiderate cunts.

  5. I said to my wife just the other day that I would love to see one noisy cunt in particular sticking out of the roof of a caravan (well-below-road-level caravan site, residential not pikey cunts, at the end of our road) one morning as we walked to Asda.

  6. Loud motorcycles and twits that drive noisy cars with windows down pumping out naff thump-thump music as they drive past.
    I wish I had a remote control or ray gun that I can fire at their cars which turn the loud thump-thump music into Enya played at half volume ruin their streetcred haha.
    #sail away, sail away, sail away#

      • Cheers, Bertie.
        Usually I don’t let things get to me. I think ISAC website is good therapy for me. I’m glad I found it.
        I found it by typing in a search website ‘James Corden is a c#nt’.

      • Hahaha, yeah thats how i found it!
        Jeremy corbyn is a cunt
        Search brought me here!
        Hate bringing people together…
        Wonderful

      • Yeh, it’s ironic thinking back to that Ahmadi slogan yesterday- “Love for All, Hate for none.”
        ISaC could adapt it.
        “Love for None, Hate for All.” It becomes a much more powerful slogan then!
        Morning Miserable

      • Morning mate, now that i like!
        Convert it into latin and have it inscribed into the masonry!

      • For me it was either Blair or Lineker . Delighted to have participated in the countless cuntings bestowed on them ever since!

    • I found IsAC by typing in ‘I love cunt’, thinking I’d find some tasty porn. Not quite the bunch of cunts I expected, but I love ya!

  7. The standard exhaust on my SV650 is fairly quiet, which is great, as I can’t stand noisy anything. At 60mph, the wind noise is louder than the engine and I’m not a look at me cunt, so I really don’t see the point of having something louder than it needs to be. There seems to be a trend among the car cruise chav twats to have not only a noisy exhaust, but to have the car continually backfiring. This not only marks them down as annoying cunts, it can’t be doing the car any favours.

  8. I watched,for the first time last night,Easy Rider about 2 Cunts on motorbikes…what a heap of shite. I cheered at the end when the hillybilly in the old pickup shot the fucking wasters.
    Someone mentioned the other day about “The Deerhunter” being a load of bollocks (I quite agree), why people think that some of these films are “classics” is beyond me.

    Fuck Off.

    • Agreed Mr Fiddler. I watched the so-called classic ‘Blade Runner’, a few hours of my life I will never get back. Good weekend?

      • Morning, LL.

        Not really,no. I hate sunny Bank Holiday weekends. It encourages the wrong sort to come out to the countryside.

        Yourself?

      • Blade runner visually stunning with the very sexy Sean Young and the charismatic late Rutger Hauer but dragged on and on and on certainly not as good a film as people think.

    • I could of guessed that would be your favourite bit!
      Good weekend Dick?
      Where you been?
      Appleby?😁

      • I actually used to go to Appleby fair regularly with a friend who was a horse-dealer a few years ago. He never bought there but knew a lot of people. It was a canny day out.

      • The father in law used to go,
        Dealing horses, thats his one subject of conversation-horses.
        He was a knacker man for around cheshire, lame horse or horse in bad way hes who you called out.

    • Most people say these films are great just because it’s the in thing to do, if I listed my top 10 films it would surprise a lot of people, not a Godfather, Deer Hunter or Apocalypse Now in sight. When I see all those films in peoples top 10 lists I always ask “are they really you’re favourite films or have you just listed them because that’s what you fell like you have to list?”

      My favourite film is Aliens, best film ever made in my opinion and I have no shame in saying that, it’s the thing I admire about that quiff haired critic who lists The Exorcist as his top film rather than the usual Gone With The Wind, Citizen Kane bollocks, he’s actually gone for the film he likes the most rather than what most people would put.

      Anyway back on topic I ride motorbikes but I’m a thoughtful rider, change gear nice and early to avoid revving the nuts of it and causing windows to shatter and bird nests to fall out of trees.

      • My favourite film is “if..” with Malcolm McDowell. Must admit that I enjoy a lot of the old films on that Talking Pictures channel.

        Morning,Mr. C-P.

      • Films are subjective if you don’t like it don’t watch it. I couldn’t give a fuck about Star Wars or Harry Potter but if people want to watch it and buy the merchandise it ain’t my problem and I could care less.

        I would agree having a list of the ten best films is down to opinion and therefore no list can be said to be the one.

        As for noisy motorbike riders, arrest the cunts and make them watch their bikes being crushed while paying (plus VAT) for the privilege

      • I have this image of you Miserable as a rugged Heathcliffe figure with your wild and unpredictable nature.
        😊

      • And youd be spot on!
        Brooding and deep,
        Hauntingly good-looking,
        And lost on the moors..

      • I love If….. ,sort of a documentary about the public school I was dispatched to. It was filmed in1968 the year I escaped.
        I have heard that the reason some is black and white and the rest colour is that they ran out of money and couldn’t afford to process it all in colour.

  9. Yes, Yes, and TRIPLE YES to this cunting!

    There’s something seriously wrong with these idiots. Aural terrorists. 😡

  10. Can we instigate an emergency double cunting. 1) Notting hill annual stabfest. Just because it’s still on the go despite its guaranteed crime spike. Also the daily mail has pix of middle class white cunts ” getting down with it and muh diversification” ( they haven’t been raped or stabbed yet).
    2) the royal mint. Why u ask ? They have blocked a commemorative something or other to Enid Blyton for being – racist, sexist and homophobic. The daily mail article gives very little evidence of said accusations

      • Nah nowhere near as sneaky as those clandestine warriors The Secret Seven.Now they were a bunch of tyrants.

      • I think that the Enid Blyton Society is now a banned organisation.
        Knock knock.
        Noddy: Good Morning Mr Plod.
        Mr. Plod: Good Morning Noddy. If you could kindly accompany me to the station.
        Noddy: What’s the matter Mr Plod?
        Mr Plod: We’ve had a complaint from Big Ears about you posting dwârfîshh comments in the Toytown Times.
        Noddy: But it was only a joke. Am I in trouble?
        Mr Plod: That’s not for me to say Noddy. I don’t make the rules. I only enforce them.

      • I think that the Enid Blyton Society is now a banned organisation.
        Knock knock.
        Noddy: Good Morning Mr Plod.
        Mr. Plod: Good Morning Noddy. If you could kindly accompany me to the station.
        Noddy: What’s the matter Mr Plod?
        Mr Plod: We’ve had a complaint from Big Ears about you posting dwarfîst comments in the Toytown Times.
        Noddy: But it was only a joke. Am I in trouble?
        Mr Plod: That’s not for me to say Noddy. I don’t make the rules. I only enforce them.

      • Admin – I’ve been suspended in moderation for 3 hours. Will I be cleared?

      • PS: The word Gôlly (minus the circümflex) was in the link you posted @ 1.39pm… 😉

      • Looking back RTC, I thought it might have been the word Gôlly in the link I gave. Can we no longer say Gôlly Gôsh?

      • Reckon you can still say Gosh Bertie. Unless this post goes into moderation…

        Btw, regarding links, I’ve discovered you can remove an offending word from them prior to posting and they still work!

    • No Enid Blyton stamps,but we are getting a set of Royal Mail stamps celebrating Elton John’s illustrious career…….

    • First book I ever read was The Boy Next Door. Fucking magic! Have never been without a book on the go since.

    • Serious point, really. We’re heading for a ban on everything written before, say, 1990, aren’t we? And pretty well everything written since is crap.

    • Do you mean that ‘culturally appropriated’ Nottinghill Winter Festival toxicbob?

  11. Dont know if anyone else has noticed, it is now impossible to have complete silence, loud fucking music,garden implements, screaming brats, motorcycles, cars the list is fucking endless. Been told I was selfish when complained about loud music, told me that it was their “RIGHT” to have it at full blast, little twat got upset when beat his radio to bits with a broom handle never had trouble with him again

    • It’s my neighbours fucking dog that drives me insane. Yap fucking yap, all day, every day. For no fucking reason. I hate the little Jack Russell cunt.

    • Thinking about this problem of noisy motorbikes more carefully, surely the responsibility for policing this belongs to Greta Grungeberg – noise pollution and all that?
      I’ve invited her to visit me to teach these cunts a lesson. She’s agreed to step out into the road, hand aloft, to bring this one particular cunt to a halt and have a quiet word with him. I shall be on hand to film this for YouTube. I think she will soon realise the difference between shitting herself on a yacht and shitting herself on the open road.

    • You need a little hobby of your own. Even an air rifle range in your garden can drop a little hint to your neighbours*, and if you have a FAC, an old 303 will make your point even more emphatically, although you may need more than a brick wall to stop the bullet travelling on. Up to you.

      * Do not be tempted to silence your weapon. And make the backstop resonant…as is your right.

  12. Although fortunate to live in a nice part of town just far enough away from the crime infested antics of our Eastern European friends, with the hot summer nights and open windows able to hear clearly the cunts revving up their car engines and with tyres screeching racing around an inner town “race circuit” like maniacs.

    And to top it all last night (and for the next two I suspect) we were able to hear the racket made by ginger cunt Ed Sheeran, despite the concert being over three miles away. The main road closest to the venue closed to traffic, meaning Mrs Stroker has to find an alternative route to work.

    • Played the arse off ‘sonic attack’ when i was younger!
      Hey Ghee, whats with the name?
      Feel like i should know it?

      • Hey MNC, it’s something from the mists of time in my early childhood. I am unable to divulge more…..

  14. Reminds me, must switch the stock cans on the SV1000 for the S&P slightly baffled ones I discarded for the neighbours’ sakes. At least it’ll drown out the cunts in cars with sound systems. Should be quite tasty now I’ve sorted the over-retarded first four gears….

    (@ Gutstick Japseye – Give Autostar Components’ S-TRE addon a try if you’ve got £30 going. Does what it says in the ad, smooths the curve out up to 5000. Easy fit. Make sure you get the SV650 version)

  15. Just been on the Steve Hislop Memorial Ride Out in the Borders and it was good, with plenty of people lining the 135 mile route, waving and smiling, happy to see around 600 bikers enjoying the excellent weather. I have a pair of Akrapovics on my Aprilia Tuono, in place of the standard cans and, if the revs are kept low, there’s no problem with noise. Anything over 3000 revs, up to the 11000 limit, does, however, make a bit of a din. My own pet hate on the motoring front is rap music, which is shite to start with, being played at an enormous volume through open car windows. Now these people are cunts.

    • Rap music and Harleys are cunts…agree re revs on other big V-twins. A pleasant burble at 2-3000 in fact.

  16. My ancient Honda twin has sensible silencers and merely emits a vague, pleasant burbling noise
    A bit like myself after a few beers…

    And Harley owners are mostly, but not exclusively, cunts…

  17. I don’t mind loud motorbikes that much, because around here, the deliberately loud throttling of a motorbike engine is inevitably followed (as indeed this very afternoon) by the deliberately loud wail of an ambulance siren. Yet another silly cunt has had the Pass closed to vehicles, as he was trapped, legs kicking, under a 4×4 who was minding his own business negotiating a notoriously difficult corner, when matey-boy attempted to get his huge-engined motorbike around the same corner at a speed way beyond his talent range, in the opposite direction.

    What gets me is that these lads are all old enough to know better 30+ Fathers who couldn’t afford a big bike when younger, take to the North Wales roads on a beautiful day like today and screw the fucking back out of their bike. To fuck with the consequences for their young family, their fellow motorists and least of all, themselves.

    I’d feel sorry for them if I wasn’t such a cunt.

  18. Seems a lot of us have got a tale to tell about some noisy cunt on a motorbike.
    There’s a bloke up the road from us who hit retirement, and decided to live his fucking dream. Next thing you know, the cunt’s got a bike like Ghost Rider and enough leather to put the fucking Terminator to shame. He swans around the area like Steve McQueen, causing so much annoyance that neighbours have reported him to the council, trying to get him done under noise abatement regulations. He thinks he’s the bee’s knees, but everybody else thinks he’s a tosser.

    • I’m guessing, of course….Harley? No-one who appreciates machinery owns one; flatulent, overweight, badly-handling, antiquated crap almost invariably ridden by equally flatulent overweight cunts.
      If any of our distinguished number owns a Hardly-Ableson, insincere apologies, and kindly get something more like a motorcycle to redeem your grievous error. A CB125 will do.

  19. Ariana Grande ‘overwhelmed’ on return to Manchester at Pride…
    “Manchester holds a very special place in my heart” she said…
    The little cunt couldn’t get out of there quick enough and did fuck all for people on that night…. I dare say this ‘association’ will be milked Rowling/Potter style for years to come..
    Just fuck off and tell it somebody who will fall for such bullshit… And of course the look at me clowns who go to things like ‘Pride’ will do just that, the cunts….

    • And while Grande isn’t a motorcycle (a bike maybe?), she is an irritating noisy cunt,,,

  20. The latest crap on Brexit from Lordy Lordy Lammy:

    ‘This constitutional outrage will spark civil disobedience and I for one will actively participate’.

    I wonder which shop he’s going to loot?

    • Dark Keys are gold medalists at looting let’s hope he’s the first one the police shoot when it starts

  21. Back on Topic Cunts on Loud Motorcycle s
    It’s to make up for their very small Dicks it’s a bit like these old bods running around in sports cars and rally cars How old are you? Stupid Cunts

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