Celebrity travelogues and in particular Judy fucking Dench being winched up trees in Borneo. What the fuck? How does an elderly luvvie enhance our knowledge of wild creatures? Why not use a qualified naturalist? Dench should stick to wooden performances as Judy Dench. Or sit in a chair stinking of piss and cabbage.
We have had Caroline Quentin’s Cornwall. Some other fucker walking in Wales. 2 fucking luvvies fucking about on canals. Martin Clunes in America, although Clunes does have some wit and sparkle. Bradley Walsh adding to our knowledge of the Southern States.
All bollocks. Bring back Alan Wicker. The cunt.
Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble
I’ve actually pitched a few ideas for celebrity travelogues,so far they’ve all been ignored:-
“Owen Jones and Eddie Izzard -fact-finding in Islamabad”.
” Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift and Katy Perry live in concert in the jungles of Columbia ”
“An underground journey through Paris in a Merc with Meghan Markle”.
Any takers?
33
Liked Idiot Abroad with Carl Pilkington and Billy Connollys always good for a travelogue!
But thats about it for me,
Dont like celebrities
Dont like foreigners
Dont like foreign food
So bit wasted on me!
6
ME ME ME Markle should do Paris with her ginger cunt husband as well…..In fact take the bloody lot of the royals on a charabanc of the Paris underpass’s.
6
Good cunting CC, All these overpaid ‘Celebrities’ pissing abaaaht, on their all expenses paid (plus their presenting fee) tour as if them presenting it and pissing off the natives makes it interesting for us to watch.
How about James O’brien being sent to interview the chief of the cannibal tribe in South America… That would be interesting.
These celebrities are taking the piss, none more so than Philip Schofield on the edge we buy any cunt car advert.
Go fuck yourselves.
PS… Talking of travel, I’m in Leicester,. Taking care of a bit of ‘business’ got a wad of cash but don’t worry abaaaaaht that.
Anyways Leicester is alright, I might do a you tube video of me reviewing Leicester if anyone want to pay my expenses? Thought not… Go fuck yourselves.
10
You must be working cross county lines today then Black and White?
5
County lines…i know naffink abaaaaaht it.
‘The art of being a good businessman is being a cunt businessman’ copyright’© Black and White cunt.
How are you BSC.
6
Fine thank you. I trust you are looking forward to a successful season.
I’m surprised Irritation Yank’s not been on here boasting about winning the Audi Cup.
😂😂
3
Most definitely BSC, haven’t spent a lot but to be honest I don’t think we need to. Got to be between us snd Citeh again.
2
I’m at home today, so there’s one cunt fewer on the streets of Leicester.
2
Moggie63… You knew I was aaaaht and abaaaaaht in Leicester and you didn’t even cook some grub and invite me round? Haven’t you heard of the is a cunt rule that when a fellow cunter is. On town free food, drink etc gas to be offered.
1
Long way to go to deliver a pizza,BWC….be careful that nobody steals your moped.
3
Went and sold a Motor DF, what a cunt it was getting back though the Midlands is a right cunt traffic wise.
1
Leicester.
Famous for the great Jon Lord RIP.
And for the UKs biggest cunt. Gary Linecunt (hopefully to rest without peace once his time comes…..and soon one hopes)
3
‘Join me, on the adventure of a lifetime”….
What you mean is “Watch me, having the adventure of a lifetime”…..even worse if it’s BBC and we’re paying the bill….
12
Michael Portillo and those endless train journeys is another example. And Joanna Lumley being dispatched all over the world to utter banal inanities.
Fuck off.
6
I quite like Portillo’s train journeys, he’s better at that than as a MP.
7
Good Afternoon CF
He must have a contract with Chanel 5 at the moment. A good programme last night on the main Chanel dissecting the Conservative party and then I switched to 5 Star or something and he was doing a programme about Shepton Mallet prison, which was interesting.
You are right a better broadcaster than MP.
6
I don’t know why the telly lot think that we want to see endless “celebrities”….I certainly don’t…it actually puts me off from watching. Most of them do that “Luvvie” thing of believing that the programme is all about them,and that we’d rather listen to their inane babbling than see whatever it is that they’re busy trying to eclipse.
Romesh Ranganathanan is a complete bellend who only gets on the telly because of his colour. Joanna Lumley is an insufferable old bag. Don’t know what they call that Dark Key in the crip-chariot who they wheeled up the jungle(or even why did it),but they should have left the Cunt there.
Fuck Off.
* Attenborough is a coffin-dodging Cunt too.
16
Oh yes! The Whicker man. Just shows how far broadcasting standards have fallen since his time, doesn’t it? I remember ‘Tonight’ with him and Michelmore, (because I’m 150 years old, you know). Also Cy Grant and his topical calypsos. All greats.
I’d watch Hugh Grant and Stephen Fry visiting Yemen. Or, perhaps better, Goma in the Congo, currently about to enjoy an ebola epidemic.
Tony Blair on Idlib would be good, too.
8
Do these celebrity cunts not realise that if you want to feel like they’re in a foreign country they just need to go to any large inner city area in England?
Joanna Lumley spending time with aspiring architects in white city.
Stacey Dooley gets molested in Rotherham
Eamon and Ruth try and not get stabbed in Birmingham
The Hairy Bikers eat a dodgy halal kebab in Preston.
If diversity us our strength why do they need to fuck off to other countries to film this shit?
11
WELL SAID Itchen. Back of the net (as football season starts tonight)
3
Anthony Bourdain was another one of these famous because he´s famous talentless pricks who was always traveloging.
At least he earned his money by eating anything that was put in front of him. These included delicacies like fermented shark in Iceland, beaver in Canada, warthog in Namibia, snake heart in Vietnam, live octopus in New York and pig ear sandwich in Mississippi. No wonder he always looked stoned. Only someone on drugs would sample some of these things.
When I heard he had died last year I thought his digestive system had finally given up but apparently he committed suicide.
5
The ‘Celebrity Travelogue’ once just consisted of Michael Palin dodging Ebola and migrant caravans in sub-Saharan Africa or munching on yak bollocks in the Himalayan foothills.
Stephen Fry and Jon Snow have both done American road trip travelogues, I wonder if Jon played that children’s backseat game of counting cars that passed of a particular colour except he would be counting of ghastly Trump voting racists of course. Any length of time cooped up with these pair would make a shallow grave in a lonely corner of a cornfield in Iowa very appealing.
6
The genius of Alan Wicker visiting all those exotic places and brightening up post war Britain was this: it’s not the locations that were interesting; it was the quirky not particularly famous individuals he unearthed along the way. Dave Allen did something similar on eccentrics.
Wicker didn’t set out to be famous but he became so because he was a proper journalist and possessed wit and charm. He’d never take the piss or use his show to ‘portray the plight of the asylum seeking masses’ , ‘global warming ‘ or ‘species extinction’ constantly parroted by those gloomy cunts like Sir Attenborough or the freeloading TV star tourists like Dench and co.
The Wicker shows on Heini Thyssen, Haiti/Papa Doc and John Paul Getty were especially memorable.
8
I can’t believe no one has mentioned mega prat Richard Ayoade yet. The cunt should take that other unfunny nasally cunt Adam Hills to Arnhem land and get turned into crocodile shit.
3
I quite frequently mention Eiaddio, mostly in connrction with HSBC.
I am trying currently to think up a suitably painful death for him.
Maybe a thin glass catheter up his cock, while he fucks a hologram of himself.
I believe he’s married into the Fox dynasty. Edward must love having the cunt round for Sunday lunch…
3