Amanda Liberty

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I wasn’t sure if this was for real, but judging from the lunacy of certain people, please find my nomination for Amanda Liberty, 35, from London, who describes herself an an “objectophile”, somebody who has a strong feeling of love, commitment or lust for items or structures.

She ‘had a long-distance relationship with the Statue of Liberty’ and is now engaged to a chandelier. (as you do – admin)

She has been dating the 100-year old light fixture since 2017 and said on Facebook that her love for the chandelier “just happened”. She realised she was an objectophile aged 14 when she had a relationship with a drum kit. She should have realised at the same age that she was a cunt.

By her late 20s she was in an on-off relationship with the Statue of Liberty, which is when she changed her surname to Liberty. The relationship came to an end in 2016 after she felt pressured to always visit the Statue of Liberty, who she called Libby. Her relationship with Lumière, the 28-inch chandelier, started shortly afterwards. Amanda admits that she isn’t able to take the light to bed because of its size, but that doesn’t stop her from having sexually charged dreams about it.

“I don’t even completely understand it myself, but I still accept it as part of who I am,’ she wrote on Facebook. ‘My chandeliers make me so happy and full of joy and completely fulfilled.”

Amanda admitted that she had a dream recently which involved the Queen introducing her to a chandelier.

“They let me operate the chandelier lift in the music room (something I would really love to do!) to bring one of the chandeliers down for closer inspection. I walked around her. And I told the Queen how beautiful her chandelier was…Then, before I could do more, I woke up. Dang it.”

She hopes to marry Lumière in the future and is very open about her relationship with her chandelier, which is a girl, on social media.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

106 thoughts on “Amanda Liberty”

  1. As long as shes happy, as a old romantic i like to see young people like Amanda and Lumiere find love.
    Wonder why she split up with the
    Statue of liberty?
    Height difference?
    As for the drumkit theyre notoriously promiscuous! Rock n roll lifestyle etc

  2. Jesus fucking wept! what a fucking stupid look at me i’m so zany cunt. How the fuck do these cunts make the news anyway for fuck sakes.

    • Dunno Flexi, im waiting for the posts off a cunter whos outraged by this,
      Dead offended! Haha
      Shes a nutter, but harmless.

      • You wouldn’t think she was so harmless if she was in your drawing-room trying to stick your light fixtures up her twat. I have some very expensive crystal chandeliers hanging in my many rooms,and have no desire to chase some lust-fuelled harridan through my extensive abode trying to prevent her smearing up my objets d’art…the bitch might frighten the horse and hounds.

      • Fucking right mate – no way would I want her squirting on my William IV mahogany chaise lounge!

      • Mahogany my arse!
        Its chipboard!
        Saw you assembling it with a allen key and muttering swearwords…

      • Self,self,self,..look Dick, open up a theme bordello for lighting perverts like Amanda, as businessmen we are missing a huge market of freaks to exploit!
        Oh expect a lowloader coming today, i anticipated your agreement and ordered a 1/5th scale statue of liberty for us!!👍

      • Reply in moderation Dick!
        When did you last get a cleaner in at fiddler towers?
        Amanda doesnt like lighting thats covered in dust!
        Like bleeding castle dracula…

      • I did have a pair of East European maids that I bought off the internet,but a few days polishing and buffing my bell-end sharp wore them out…chucked themselves from the ramparts after a week…

      • Never mind Mr Fiddler, at least I hope you are keeping yourself busy building you Carnival float for this weekend.

  4. The chandelier is female and the Statue of Liberty is female so she’s a lezza. So she should go down on the chandelier and give it a good licking. With any luck the crazy bitch will electrocute herself and that will be one less attention seeking fuckwit to bore the shit out of the world.

  5. The Flabbott has this affliction too, she is in a serious relationship with her TV remote, La-Z-Boy and a KFC bargain bucket.

  6. She looks like she has special needs.

    I have a couple of special needs too. Get fucking Brexit done and, provided we have Trump 2020, let’s become the 51st state.

  9. Just another weirdo who,due to the likes of twitter and other social media,can fulfil her need for attention. It it wasn’t object-loving,it would be body-modification or something similar.
    Ignore the Cunt and just hope that she gives herself an internal rupture and bleeds out while desperately checking her “feed” for likes…..

    “U so brave,hun”
    “luvs u babes”

    Fuck her.

      • Hamster-lovin’, Lord CMdeC…that is The Gays’ terrible affliction….well that and The Gayness,of course.
        After witnessing the rise in The Gayness, I plan to start breeding small furry rodents to supply the bottom-end of The Gay market. If anyone from Brighton fancies opening a “Hamster U Like” shop,I am willing to supply stock…we’ll make a fortune.

        I shall read your new article later,Mike,they usually give me something to consider and enjoy.

      • “…the bottom-end of The Gay market.”

        Pun intended?

        Any chance Fanny will renew the engagement now I’m a member of the House of Lords? Or is she still cross about ‘the unpleasantness’?

      • Fanny has moved on unfortunately,Mike. She has set her sights high.
        Since the death of Epstein, Fanny has convinced herself that she can fill a void in the life of Prince Andrew….honestly,the sight of a 35 stone,5 foot tall “bundle of spunkiness” dressed in a St. Trinian’s uniform and pigtails is terrifying….still,at least she’s still more attractive than Fergie.

      • If Fanny is with Andrew, does that mean I’ve got a chance with the delectable Fergie?

      • Good morning, DdPF-F. How are the grouse with you this year? Did you get a decent bag on the 12th? Balmoral called the shoot off due to parasite problems (Andrew), and we all had to spend the day playing Monopoly with the under-butler.

      • Morning,K

        Unfortunately my Purdey was in for repairs. I broke the stock clubbing a fawn. I therefore limited myself to necking the winged ones,that’s the part that I really enjoy if I’m honest….

      • I’m glad your day wasn’t entirely wasted. Why not get your ghillie to carry a stout iron bar for the fawn-clubbing? Replacement walnut stocks aren’t cheap, even for one of your means, and even if the stock survives, I’ve found getting the blood off the exquisitely chased lock plates of mine requires more care than my man is prepared to take.

      • One has to admit that there is something rather “pubic” about the appearance of the VW Beetle. Doesn’t mean I want to have a “relashunship” with it.
        Unlike *Colin*, who about 20 years ago, was caught with his todger up the exhaust of a car called a “Metro”… Anyone remember them ??

        This silly bint’s royal dream ended just before she realised that she was a) 5 years old, and b) about to be anally, orally, nasally, and vaginally raped by Andrew Porchester.

  10. Morning Wokeup they are two very good special needs indeed. As is another cunting for the ALBBC who are in Remain scaremongering overdrive it’s actually hilarious. Just had farmers on going on about “visiting” workers and tariffs etc then talking about WTO rules and competing against countries with poor standards, well surely those countries are already farming with poor standards so what’s going to change. Oh I know the EU protects us against the naughty people. Well all I’ve got to say is fuck off and when you get there fuck off some more.
    Also my advice to BoJo is plaster every paper, magazine, advertising hording, TV and Radio station with one message writ large ” Buy British” Our farmers produce good quality food and since I voted out I’ve only bought British and if possible local. Stuff we can’t grow or is out of season here I buy foreign or go without. We also make things in this country not much but if at all possible we should buy locally. So go on BoJo get on board get behind a full scale “Buy British” campaign

    • The madness doesn’t end there, sorry to say. In today’s You and Yours on Wireless 4 at 12.15 (after the reading from this weeks misery memoir) they are having a “special phone-in” on how “a No-Deal Brexit Will Affect You At Work”.. This is a show for old retired buggers like me, students who have just got out of bed (well it’s summer)nursing mums and wimmn waiting for Loose Wimmin to start.

      No doubt another terribly important production dreamt up by arselicker James Purnell the shitstain on Aunties knickers. He is a big knob at the BBC, or he’s looking for a big knob at the BBC. Allegedly.

      As regards falling in love with a statue, I saw one of Queen Victoria once that gave me the horn – she looked so sexy in bronze. Reminded me of Goldfinger 🙂

  11. If she’s 35 she must have had a hard paper round, she probably looked 35 when she was 14 and the rejection turned her to weird objects.

    • I was thinking the same thing. I’ve woken up beside some sack-of-spanners women in my time but, even as pissed as I have been in the past, I’m pretty sure I would have given this one a miss.

  12. I’m going back to bed and then I’ll get up again and I’ll not read this and everything will be fine.

    • ‘The heart wants, what the heart wants’ that includes plastic fucktoys captain but you should invest in a fleshlight much easier to clean and less awkward an creepy then fucking a open mouthed mannequin

      Blowup dolls are kinda outdated wouldn’t you say? Kind of a 70’s or 80’s prank toy you buy for a friend who is shite with women. How hard is it to clean the plastic vagina btw cpt. asking for a friend…

      • A blow up doll. A mere oeur d’oeuvres in my stable of lurv..

        Besides, your first love and all that.

        If I do get round to light fittings, I will at least ensure they aren’t plugged in.

        Interesting way of snuffing out candles though

      • Decades ago, I read a book on sex in the Soviet Union…
        Apparently, a common Friday / w/e casualty was wimmin with thin glass broken and stuck up their vags.
        It seems they used to wank with a long lightbulb, having had it switched on to warm up a bit first. Thankfully, they weren’t actually electrocuted…
        You learn something every day.
        May the good Comrade Marx bless communism !!

    • Was she the Jihadi-Bride model ?

      Boom, boom.

      I’ll get my ankle-length heavy black latex trench coat…

    • Violence never solved anything Victor!
      Oh sorry forgot about ww1 and ww2.
      Oh and boxing titles,
      Ok violence solved everything!!

  15. What a window licking fruitcake, I mean real life relationships are hard to maintain nowadays for myself included I admit but if I ever start dating or falling in love with inanimate objects like a chandelier or a statue just bludgeon me with a baseball bat already ffs

    This girl is in desperate need of a therapist, but instead shes being paraded as some kind of autistic hero by daily fail and msm

  16. A harmless eccentric- good luck to her. If it makes her happy, what’s the problem? I would rather her lunacy than the lunacy of Libtards, Remaniacs and Greta Thundercunt nutters. These people make Amanda Liberty look sane in comparison.

  17. Long distance relationship with the statue of liberty ? She’s in London – Nelson’s column is just round the corner. Go and slide up and down that, you barmy bint.

    Actually scrub that (column as well as comment) – she’s not barmy, just a fucking attention seeker.

    • She had a one night stand with Nelson’s column caught a STD she passed on to statue of Liberty.

      • The STD probably originated from Winnie Mandela, I believe she was quite partial to Nelson’s column!

      • She had to let Gandhi down gently, “I’m not racist ,its an age thing”.

  18. With a name like A. Liberty, you just know that not only is she a window-licker, but also her parents for given her such an attention-seeking name ( A. Cunt, would seem more apposite)

    Anyway, she’s got her 15 minutes; and I guess it won’t be long before she’s walking down the aisle with an Ikea lamp stand (on castors) hand in hand (or 5A plug, in this case); and the vicar saying “Do you take this lightshade to be your lawfully wedded piece of furniture?”

    And then follows a night of passion in the bridle suite ….. jeez, I don’t want to even think about that!

    • The ‘bridle’ suite is something most people don’t want to think about, Technocunt. Though I’m not sure whether it refers to bestiality or sado-masochism. Clarify, please.

      • Ah yes, good point! A subconscious slip-of-the-tongue on my part, but I suppose bridle or bridal are pretty interchangeable for this loon

      • I know you’re trying to help Komodo but I can’t groom her (oh how I wish I could) because Mrs Plastic’s always there feeding her the carrots! We have no time for ourselves, to be alone. I think the only answer is Elopement. I wonder has Mr Fiddler a spare barn we could stay in together for a while…

      • Yes, Miles. Having you and your long-faced paramour indulging in a spot of “hide the Carrot” on the premises is just what I need to restore my rather dubious reputation.

  19. A harmless, non toxic cunt. Unlike that other big girl, Elton Hercules John ( real name Reginald Kenneth Dwight ).
    Who is a grade A 24 carat cunt of the highest order.
    Hopefully, he’ll have his innards consumed by demented rodents …
    ‘ When Gerbils Go Bad ‘, if you like.
    Or maybe his private jet will vapourise on take off.
    I’d chip in for the carbon offsetting.
    Get To Fuck.

  20. As Dick points out, an attention-seeking twat. Hope she funds this entry while googling herself.

    Sad cunt.

  21. Stick the ugly fucker in ol’ sparky, see if she would be so eager to get jiggy with electrical objects then.

  22. This is not a one-off:

    https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/woman-marries-train-station-shes-10499237

    Further superficial research reveals women who have ‘married’:
    Their dogs (several)
    Themselves
    The Eiffel Tower
    The Berlin Wall (until it detumesced)
    A roller-coaster….etc.

    Apparently the condition, object sexuality, is recognised as a thing, and simply confirms that there’s nowt as queer as folk. You are all invited to my church wedding to a Ducati Panigale.

    • I reckon Gemma Collins is secretly married to Penge East.
      Sounds rather minging and smelly.

      There’s a government-prescribed cream to get rid of annoyin’ stations… “Privatisation”

  23. It would seem that an expensive Italian motorcycle is a moderation trigger. Or maybe the control panel is set to ‘random’ today?

  25. The liberal world we live in. People will be behind this loon encouraging her to be whoever she wants to be, but in reality she is clearly mental. We’re not allowed to say that any more though in case we offend someone. Another reason social media should be banned too, I despair.

  26. Just like to say I’ve enjoyed EVERY response to this so far! Brilliant banter from all the Cunts.

  28. Once upon a time large establishments existed to nurture and protect persons such as this poor deluded soul. Now alas all gone, care in the community is a real cunt.
    Just think of the legal nightmare if she marries a freezer or something; back in the day an arse cheek full of Largactil and a secure comfy room would have sorted this crap out in a couple of weeks. Then home to a loving family, and everyone pretend nothing happened so simple, so simple.

  30. The only reason thisdough faced munter of a cunt is an ‘objectophile’ is because no fucker -and I mean absolutely no fucker – on this earth would or will ever shag it…

    No doubt this freak/deviant will be given maximum coverage by the BBC… We all know that the civilised world and western society is well and truly fucked, but if the day comes when sick cunts will be allowed to marry standing lamps and toasters I think the time will be right to just wait for the nukes or the asteroid… I mean, why fucking bother?…..

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