Quiz Show Contestants

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I enjoy 15 to 1 on Channel 4. Sandy Toksvig doing her English Country Gentleman act rather spoils it,but I’m prepared to put up with it nevertheless.

It’s the contestants that Fuck me off.

The genuinely stupid contestant…obviously the victim of a prank,they have been convinced to go on a General Knowledge quiz by “friends” only too aware that they have no General Knowledge. It’s a mystery to me how they even manage to dress themselves,never mind answer increasingly difficult questions on varied subjects.

The Wacky contestant…usually a middle aged man,bald at the front but pony-tail at the back,dressed in an Hawaiian shirt who announces that he is an “entertainer”. Persuaded by friends and family to enter just so that they get a day off from the terminal bore.

The Chavvy Secretary contestant…a bright orange,pumped lips vision of cheapness. Can’t answer any questions unless they involve Love Island or Beyonce,squeals and claps her hands if she’s lucky enough to receive such a question.

The smug retired teacher….gives an almost contemptuous look and snort when giving the answer to a question that he knows. Wrinkles his nose,says “Not really my line of expertise” when asked something that doesn’t fall within the syllabus of 5th Form Geography/ History.

The frustrated spinster/librarian…..a dangerous contestant due to the fact that her sheer lack of allure means that she has had no distractions in her life. A lifetime spent reading “the classics” while secretly dampening her gusset at the thought of Mr. Darcy violating her dusty old fanny.

The Mr. Gupta from the corner shop….doesn’t really understand the questions but grins amiably and hopes that his appearance will convince The Border Agency that he is a true-blue Englishman and not deport him.

The full-time Mum….can’t wait to get on Mumsnet and tell the girls about just how much of a fulfilling life she enjoys…she’s not stagnating,”Oh no,just look, I’m on a quiz show”…another semi-dangerous contestant because she has nothing to do all day bar watch quiz shows and spend the child benefit of cheap boxed wine.

The Gay contestant….overly groomed and well dressed,screams with girlish glee at every one of witticisms from Sandy,he is probably there in the hope that Mr. Toksvig,or some other Media-type will strap on their 15 inch truncheon and do him up the shite-trumpet before offering him a job as a prime-time chat-show host.

Interestingly,there are very few Dark Keys on General Knowledge Shows. I’m guessing that their Probation Officer won’t allow it for fear that someone gets stabbed for “dissing” them on live television.

Fuck Off.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

71 thoughts on “Quiz Show Contestants”

  1. Mr Fiddler your cunting has made my day.I have laughed so much.Im glad I found this site.

  2. A lot of irons seem to get on especially daytime shows these days – Mrs Boggs never has the fucking thing off – fucking expensive afternoon quiz games that go on every day for weeks – there is at least one iron and these days often a ch!nky iron in glasses like Qwok Won or whatever the daft bleeders name is. Even Escape To The Cuntry and the garden shows get the irons on these days. If I were that way inclined there is no way I would want to advertise it on TV – perhaps they enjoy the glitter and the make-up and think it is a price worth paying.

    Talking of fruity gentleman I see that little shortarse woofter Alan Duncan has resigned today – pity he doesn’t take Hammond and Gauke with him.

    • That little Duncan Gaylord can fuck right off. That cunt hates Boris with a passion. Not the normal remoaner hate but something much deeper, much more intense and personal. I reckon he tried it on with him and got told to fuck off.
      A woman scorned and all that.

  3. quote from Mr Fiddler – “secretly dampening her gusset at the thought of Mr. Darcy violating her dusty old fanny.”

    Absolutely classic! I laughed until I almost choked! Mr Fiddler should be writing edgy TV sitcom scripts (although fuck knows what channel will want to commission his oh-so-unacceptable un-pc narrative!)

    But yes, most contestants are cunts, especially the know-all types who inevitably fall flat on their arses when they get a question so wrong because they interjected far too prematurely!

    Personally I would love to see a show where contestants have to stand on trap doors; get a question wrong and down you go into a transparent tank of hungry piranhas!

    • I like the ones who squeak ‘Oh, I know this one’, really rub it in, then go on to prove that they don’t.

    • If the esteemed Dick Fiddler had written “secretly dampening her gusset at the thought of Jane Austin violating her dusty old fanny” his manuscript / screenplay would have been snapped up by C4 or the Bent Broadcasting Cunts. All he’d have to do is have Dickessa Fiddler as his nom-de-plume.

  4. Anyone who even considers being a contestant on a TV quiz show must be a cunt, chances are they walk away with nothing, usually having shown the world what a cunt they are.

    Take pointless, it was estimated that when Alexander Armstrong took over in 2008 the salary was around 500k pa, that seems like a lot for a little to me but hey ho the crazy world of Celeb pay packets.

    The average top prize for the winners on pointless is around 3k, most contestants walk away with fuck all.

    You’ve got to be a right mug cunt to go on a TV quiz show.

  5. Sandy Toksvig mentioned, why does she have a tv career? Cant see the appeal, genuinely puzzles me?
    What do these tv casters like about a dyke dwarf with mans clothes on?
    Why not Janet krankie?
    The real one not one in SNP

  6. I used to like 15 to 1 as there was no tiresome chatter, just questions. But Toksvig being on it precludes me watching it now.

    What I fucking hate is stupid cunts who say “bit before my time” or shit like the teacher type Dick mentions. It’s called general knowledge you cunts. Not “questions about the very few things you actually know”. You stupid, thick cunts.

    • Haha yeah! Can you suit the questions to something i know please?
      Im fucking clueless at general knowledge!
      Ask me about Love Island!

  7. I used to watch The Weakest Link up to about 10 years ago, mainly for Anne Robinson’s put downs.

    Nowadays I wouldn’t touch game shows with a green scabby marrow if you paid me!

    Presenters /contestants, they’re all annoying cunts.

    Sandy Toksvig bleurgh! 🤢 You’re a more resilient and forgiving man than me Dick…

    • Good afternoon RTC

      I was once on Weakest Link, I did it just to see if I could get on TV.
      I came 2nd but as I walked off Ms. Robinson said to me, you might have come 2nd but you are easily the most fanciable bloke on the team.

      • No but I know someone who did, unfortunately I was only told about the sordid deed after the recording.

      • You mean there’s a recording of someone fucking Robinson ? Is it on X-Gerbil ?

      • Fuckin’ hell Wanksock, you would have been better joining the Centurion gang and sticking with Vera Lynn.
        😊

      • Afternoon Wanksock.
        Dame Vera must have no end of toyboys.
        She is so immortal, I don’t even think of her for the Deadpool any more.

      • I bet Anne Robinson’s a great shag. A proper dirty granny who tells you to fuck off after she’s had her analgasm. No nonsense or afterplay with Ms Robinson, just put your fucking clothes on and sling your hook.

      • But don’t wipe your dick on the curtains. I heard she’s really houseproud.

  8. I was watching 15 to 1 about the twenty years ago. And the questions came something like-‘What do you call the man who doesn’t show his hand in a game of bridge?’ ‘I don’t know’ ‘Dummy’. ‘Who is the only dwarf not to have a beard? ‘I don’t know’ ‘Dopey’. ‘What does the term non-sequitur mean?’ ‘It does not follow’ ‘It does’.

      • I do like your big tick Bsc.Gives me a warm feeling inside when I receive it. I feel I’ve done well. Maybe you should award it to Mr Fiddler-he must be feeing low at the moment after Jason’s devastating attack.
        Yes that could be your role on here Bsc cheering people up with your big tick. We both know Lord Benny suffers greatly when he doesn’t get any.
        I know the good Captain is very expert at technology as well. I wonder if he has bigger tick than you?

      • Afternoon Miles. Mrs B has always been inspired by my ticky which has given her something to aim for in life. If this is to be my role within IsAC then let it be so. I’m seriously thinking of changing my IsAC name to ‘Tickety Boo’ but I don’t wish to frighten anyone with it.

      • Yes Miles but I can only issue you with a certificate if you can do a ‘green’ one.

      • ✅

        But I want a big tick like you. Mine is only small. How do you grow a big tick?

        ‘Tickety Boo’ is good. But I think you should team up with Nurse Cunty 💉 She would provide the medication but you would provide the uplift we all need. Nurses Cunty and Blunty!!!!

      • Nurse Cunty is my heroine. We’ve often thought of going in to practice together!
        😀

        That wont work I have tried buttering her up too, she should really be called Matron Cunty.

      • Thanks,Miles.
        Your sympathy means a lot in this,My Darkest Hour. It was a savage mauling…I’ve got a little cock,apparently. I haven’t been attacked by such a caustic wit since Dorothy Parker rang me up,screamed ” You’re a nasty stinky pants”,giggled and put the phone down.
        Troubled times indeed, Miles.

      • I hesitate to respond Mr Fiddler because I don’t want to be on the end of one ofJason’s savagings myself. But I would like to say that although everything seems dark for you at the moment there will be better days ahead and you will get over it in time. We’re all standing with you.

      • I don’t think Raisin O’Conaty would get that, but she’d get a hot load over her tits from me.
        A great example of REAL comedy.
        It won’t be long before Al-BBCeera deny having made it.

      • That rotten sod is Freddie The Frog is another of Dame Vera’s fanclub. I think Freddie might be a bit ambidextrous and the ever lovely Dame Vera is his fag hag.

        We have got to watch out for him!

  9. Ask The Family, was a nice friendly little quiz show back in the 70s – I think it was Robert “combover” Robertson was the host, but he carried the show effortlessly; and most of the family contestants were actually proper families – a little bit middle class and twee perhaps, but not a chav, scrounger, weirdo, Umbongo or goat herder in sight!

    Imagine if they rebooted that today! For a start they would have to rename the show to something like “Ask The Inbreds”

    • Hate quiz shows but id watch ‘Ask the inbreds’, sounds good!
      Love to see Jerry Sadowitz as a quiz show host

    • Morning RTC, some good ideas for tv shows on here eh?
      Wasted moaning on here, we should form a ISAC production company!
      Im not working today, slacking as just had few teeth out, for that medieval peasant look, nailed it!👍

      • Good afternoon (assume you’re still under anaesthetic) MNC.

        Teeth out? Been tarting yourself up for Jason?

        Ooh you are awful… but I like you! 😃

        cough cough

      • Yeah i look lovely! Got to make a effort havent you? Got more fingers than teeth nowadays, look a bit like one of those Halloween pumpkins 🎃

  11. It’s the fuckwits that get me. I watch the Chase at teatime – that and the 6 oclock News the only live TV I watch. You can bet your life that at least one and sometimes all four contestants will be thick as pigshit. Why the fuck do they go on national TV to prove it? I suppose if you have the IQ of a potato you don’t even realise how fucking stupid you are.

  12. Excellent RTC !!!!!!!!
    “ it’s because you’re a cunt”

    We should get linikunt etc on celebrity suicide !!!!!!

  13. My appearance on Countdown was never aired for some reason.

    Round one…

    “How many JR..?”

    “Just a four I’m afraid Nick.”

    “And that four is..?”

    “CUNT”…

    “Can we allow that Suzy.?”

    “Well it is in the dictionary but there’s no letter U on the board, so in this case, no I can’t allow it.”

    Round Two…

    “How many JR..?”

    “Just four again I’m afraid Nick.”

    “And your four is.?”

    “CUNT”

    “Can we allow it this time Suzy.?

    “Afraid not. As I said, it’s in the dictionary but this time there is no letter C on the board, or a U or an N and no T either….

  14. Great cunting.

    They always select the most obnoxious, lairy, mouthy, ADHD behaving cunts on the face of the earth to be contestants on these quiz shows, especially the BBC ones like ‘In It to Win it’ and the other lottery shows. (Gawd bless Dale Winton, who you could tell was thinking ‘what a total cunt’ when he made nice with those fuckers)

    They intentionally pick people who will never in a million years be called a wallflower, because that is what they want for ‘good TV’……some over exuberant tosser who gets on everyone’s tits in the outside world.

    The ones that make me laugh are the smug twats who think they know everything so apply for these shows and once on them, cannot get the correct answer to ‘What is your name?’ right, never mind any other question, fucking bell ends.

    CUNTS.

    • Dale Winton was my fag (at school). He had a very pretty mummy who gave us 6th formers the horn when she came to collect him.

  15. I notice that tipping point is still on tv. For the people who are lucky enough to have never seen it, it’s essentially like the 10p drop machines at the arcade, only it’s on tv with that annoying twat Ben Shepherd as host.
    The cunts on that show need shooting. They’ll talk you through exactly what they’re planning to do and all the other contestants will pretend to be pleased when their opponent gets a few counters drop. The contestants are the normal bunch of gormless cunt jobs as described in the excellent cunting above, yet somehow slightly more irritating.
    I’m not saying I’m a fan of the holocaust but I’d certainly support it more if it was exclusively for game show contestants and the army of production or techy cunts needed to get said game shows on the air.

    • I watch Only Connect sometimes just to see the oddbod cunts they have on there. A fair few of them seem to be Star Trek fans..There was a silly cunt on there the other day wearing a Ruff, like he needed to draw even more attention to himself. Gawd knows what criteria they have on the application form to get on that show. Probably helps to have a few allergies or phobias and to be struggling with your sexuality ( or just fucking reality really).

      • Only Connect is for the older neckbeards who fancy Victoria Coren.

        Odd indeed.

  16. Tremendous triumph of a cunting.
    Bullseye Jim Bowen for me,proper.
    Everything else just as Mr Fiddler said.
    Fuck them.

  19. There was a question on one of the quiz shoes recently, “Where would you find the quote ‘Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses’? A. Statue of Liberty, B. Arc de Triomphe, C. Brandenberg Gate.

    I thought Lunar House, Croydon was nailed on.

  20. Absolutely loathe Sandi Toxic.
    Also can’t stand those smart arse cunts on Eggheads (only watched it once), who show off how smart they think they are by firstly dismissing all the wrong answers, before giving the right answer. They only had to do that in the first place, poncy cunts.

  21. Cunts that give you their theory behind their answer. Just answer the fucking question, you cunt.

  22. Saw about 10 seconds of Tipping Point recently .Fuck me, the contestants are thick!
    Shephard:Toxicology is the study of what?
    Cuntestant: drugs.
    Shithard: poisons ;drugs same thing… that’s ok.
    It is not you thick overpaid Rees-Mogg-Baiting cunt. What then is pharmacology? you Kate-Garraway’s-arsehole-licking bastard?

  23. The stay at home mum seems especially true; mumsnet, stagnant, jobless, boxes of wine.

    That’s pretty much half the women of my age on the south coast.

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