Porn Site Age Checks
As from July 15th 2019, perverts, swingers and lonesome wankers who frequent porn-sites via UK based ISPs, will have to prove that they are over 18. The idea being to prevent minors from “accidentally” accessing said porn sites and becoming traumatized by everyone fucking each other any which way!
However, this only applies to websites that carry roughly 35% of its content as porn material, which means the likes of Facebook, Reddit, Snapchat and most other popular social media sites that do carry porn are exempt from such checks!!
Recent polls suggest that 60% of respondents approved of the idea – although there was no real breakdown of the demographic that took part (could have all been parents for all we know)
Anyway, to prove your age you have to hand over official paperwork such as a driver’s licence, passport, council tax forms or credit card statements etc.
Obviously this has raised concerns about data security, with some suggesting the whole “let’s protect our children” thing is complete bollocks, and it’s just government departments wanting to harvest even more of your personal information – as well as wanting to know what kind of pervert you really are!
This is greatly concerning should that data ever be hacked into and all of a sudden your viewing habits can be used as a black-mailing tool against you!
The simple solution is a VPN, as this disguises your whereabouts with an IP address sourced from anywhere in the world other than the UK, and as such will not be interrogated by any age checks to porn sites.
However, given this government’s total incompetence in preventing children from accessing booze, violent computer games, cigarettes, drugs, knives, guns, and fuck knows what else, this initiative will no doubt fall on its arse as well, especially since kids can get their kicks from the likes of Facebook and Reddit – two of the most popular SM sites in the world, and yet the government does not feel inclined to censor!
Wankers! (Or not come July 16th!)
Nominated by NoCuntForOldMen
These cunts don’t know they are born…
When I was a lad (cue ‘Hovis’ music) it was Club, Men Only, Mayfair, and Razzle….
Those were the days….
12
Reader’s wives. Horrendous yet somehow stimulating.
15
I have to admit that I was rather surprised when I first saw a lady’s bits and there was no fluorescent star.
11
Men Only and Knave were my preferred titles, dependent upon the girl on the front cover.
Just for old time’s sake, I just did an interweb search to see if they’re still going. To my amazement, they are! Good on ya!
7
Play Dames was great for pawing in the 80’s.
2
Men Only, Mayfair, Club International, and Color Climax – and perhaps Fiesta at a push.
I also remember those soft-porn Electric Blue videos published by Paul Raymond back in the early 80s. Soft as shite by today’s depraved standards, but back then it was pretty smoky stuff.
5
Reminds me of the first “soft core porn” I saw. Flesh Gordon. A friend had a copy on VHS. There was an “actress” in it called Candy Samples. A big girl, and I got to “know” Candy quite well. Just out of interest I just looked her up…..She is now 90 !! I cracked one off just for old times sake ….as you do, but you’re right…those were the days.
5
I seem to recall under the editorship of Kenneth Bound, all the birds showing their hairy beavers in Mayfair magazine (late 70s-early 80s), were censored with black dots covering their beef slices!
1
Further on from my original nomination, it would seem GCHQ will have a vested interest in knowing what porn sites you visit, primarily for kiddy fiddler stuff (which is on the Dark Web anyway).
So as I summised earlier, this isn’t really to do with protecting kids, it’s more to do with what the likes of Ruff Tuff, Dick and MPG etc. get up to with one hand on their mouse and the other hand….!!
6
Then came the dial up porn era…… pervs getting a semi at the sound of the dial up tone…..
5
Ah yes, those were the days!
Having to wait 10 minutes for a 30Kb photo of some nude young wench on all 4s to download!
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or the complete horror as the screen reveals something that you were really not expecting!!!
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A pussy pic that really was a cat.
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TubGirl.
Go on I dare you.
4
I will just laminate my Bieber calendar. No more porn needed….
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Just use TOR if you must look at naked ladies (and men I guess)
6
Worrying times indeed for the dedicated Wanker. To be honest, I’m just surprised that the Government hasn’t found a way to slap a tax on it…Pay As You Pull, perhaps. I’ve always wondered if the Government was watching me through that little camera at the top of the screen,that’s why I always wear a balaclava while having a wank….well that and to avoid the neighbours being able to give a positive identification as I press my face up against their bedroom window…no easy feat, I can assure you, holding a laptop in one hand,wanking with the other,all the while perched 30 foot up a ladder.
I’ll get my license, although it really is a bit unfair. I’m a well-known Wanker and shouldn’t need a bit of paper to prove it.
#WontSomebodyPleaseThinkOfTheChildren.
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The Witchfinder General / IRA look must be a new fetish even for the broad-minded. Have you considered a burka? Nobody would dare question any suspicious activity.
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I have taken the precaution of covering my camera with a bit of Duck Tape®
6
Same here RTC – Also got a 3.5mm mini jack with the wires cut off in the mic socket, so no chance of any grunting being listened to. Hasn’t, however, stopped 54 (so far this year) potential blackmailers emailing to say they’ve filmed me cock-in-hand on porn sites… Gormless fuckers.
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Mic socket Seymour?
Top-Tip – I hadn’t thought of that.
Will save me applying Duck Tape® across my mouth.
4
The balaclava is a good idea DF. I cover my face with a leather gimp mask. To hide my voice I use a ball gag. Just to be really sure I wire my scrotum to a live car battery but I cant remember why. And so that I don’t fall off my chair I put meat hooks through my nipples and attach a chain hooked around the laptop. Health and safety and privacy is very important to me when enjoying the pleasures of the palm.
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I read somewhere that you can get around this by paying a newsagent a tenner to verify your age? Fuck knows how that all works.
Only a complete halfwit would trust our hackproof cyber systems from attack. North Kore are already on the case……
4
Fucking ridiculous. As far as I can see any kid over the age of 5 is a professor of computer science compared to me. It won’t keep those dirty little fuckers out just poor cunts like me. As usual they haven’t thought this through.
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I believe they have Freddie. It’s obviously a Tory ploy to ensure 100% they lose the next election.
The hunchback did her best to throw the last election (dementia tax, fox hunting, weak and feeble campaigning, etc) yet despite all that they still couldn’t persuade enough of the electorate to commit suicide and usher in a loony left commie administration under Catweasle.
They’re not going to make the same mistake again. Depriving a large proportion of their voter demographic free, easily accessible online porn is a masterstroke – could be the biggest vote loser in history!
And a God given precedent for an incoming authoritarian administration to shut down free speech (ISAC) on the internet entirely.
6
For those concerned about where their next wank is coming from post July 15th, read this (it’s a bit techie-babble, but at least you’ll have options – VPN being the easiest)
https://www.wired.co.uk/article/uk-porn-age-verification
3
I’ll be interested to see how Google deals with this. An occasional pastime of mine is to type three words with associations into the search bar – say ‘Milf slag bukkake’ and review the page of images that results. Surfing Google via ‘more images’ when you find something tasty is often productive, too. Granted, it’s not going to get streaming video, but you can filter for big pics and animated GIFs. and all human depravity is substantially there.
3
Won’t somebody please think of the children?
I should imagine there’s a lot of that in the establishment if you catch my drift.
I’m actually quite offended. My herculean right arm should be all the proof needed.
We’ll probably see the biggest boost to porn since the internet itself. Put that in your Huwawei and smoke it!
How can May be so stupid as to allow the oriental fiends a toe in? I mean, let them look for free at what May would otherwise sell. Tory economic savvy I suppose.
5
If parents had a bit more nous they could quite easily put age control software on any device their children may have. But as usual parent-responsibility is forgotten about, and as such the nanny state decides everyone should have to come under some form of control in order to access adult content.
So parents are let off the hook again in terms of looking after the welfare of their kids; while everyone else now has to have the extra hassle of proving their age to some faceless website.
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Who the fuck is going to give up there details to watch Porn ? Get a VPN .I discovered Porn in my early teens on my older brothers super 8 projector. When he went out us young lads would throw up a white sheet and watch very hairy women with bee hive hair styles speaking Danish or German or very bad out of sync English dubbing .The men would always maintain some decency by at least keeping there socks on and the music was always some kind of organ groove.
I still find Vintage porn very erotic with a combination of filth and innocence.
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By the time I left the Convent, my idea of porn was man taking hat off.
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What with all that furtive winking and erotic hat removal you seem to have had a fair old horny time at your convent LS!
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Aah, 😊 afraid not Steaming Helmit. The only contact with boys was a monthly youth club, run by nuns in the Convent Hall. The boys, only from the grammar school, were there by invite only, after the nuns had thoroughly vetted them. But I could always look forward to a long walk home if I had spent my bus fare, and the sight of a somewhat retarded man waving at me with his Willie, as he rode past on his putput.🙈
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Please don’t regard every bloke that waves his willie at you as retarded Lostsheep. It’s just a friendly and innocent greeting in some parts of the country and a way of showing their appreciation of you.
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Aaah Steaming Helmit, ☺️ he was a harmless man, the son of pig farmers & well known in the adjoining village. He had “learning difficulties,” extremely plump, chubby, bright red cheeks, and a fixed smile. On his putput he looked like a blobfish on wheels. Nonetheless, without a yard stick I thought it must be my fault he’d flashed, and didn’t tell my parents. It scared me silly, & I never spent bus fare again.
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Nuns and Porn. How far we’ve both come Ls? I was taught by nuns. My favourite Sister Collette. Yours don’t sound quite as nice. There must surely have been one nice one?
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Evening Miles Plastic. Only one nun would sometimes show a slightly nicer side. I’ve always remained slightly baffled since, how & why their love for God, did not extend itself outwardly.
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Sorry to hear L’s. Very strict they sound. Mind you it’s all going the other way now. I fully expect a teaching order of transgender nuns soon.
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The strictness from parents & teachers alike did us no harm @MilesP. Yes I do agree, neo transgender liberalism is now the new religion.
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How on earth did this crap become law? Surely this is an invasion of privacy and as NoCunt correctly points out, rather hypocritical given the stated aim is to protect minors.
When researching a VPN company, make sure you determine the company’s logging policy. Some log what you do, others do not. I’ve used a few different ones over the years (for the encryption…nothing else Your Honour). I switched recently and tried Nord VPN. Absolute mess. It killed Outlook and several other apps I run and was a pain to uninstall and get everything back working again. YMMV. I’d advise avoiding it unless you have a spare few hours to figure out what the heck it’s done to your ‘puter.
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I have been using ExpressVPN for a number of years, and never had any issues with resident apps or cloaking my IP.
It’s a little more expensive than the likes of Nord, but I believe it is far more secure, discreet and stable.(and you can access torrent sites like Pirate Bay, and Tor with ease)
Whatever VPN you go for don’t bother with free versions because you only get so much bandwidth, limited global choices, you’re not completely anonymous (despite what the VPN host may say) and basically free versions are bollocks anyway other than for a trial.
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Agree Nocuntforoldmen. I use Nordvpn , I think their based in Panama. The customer service is excellent and yes you can access any torrent site etc.
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I haven’t the foggiest idea of what you’re on about.
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Hey RTC – VPN stands for Virtual Private Network. Simply put, it’s some software you install on your computer and use it to log into one of several servers provided by the VPN company. By doing so, your computer’s identity (or IP address) is changed to something else, thus disguising your true identity. All the internet traffic to and from the VPN provider’s server is encrypted, so even your ISP (Internet Service Provider) can’t tell what you’re doing. All they know is you logged into a VPN service and that’s it! To use a decent VPN service usually requires a monthly or annual subscription.
HTH. Cheers – IY.
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Thanks IY… that is helpful… in theory at least… though at a practical level I reckon I’m still somewhat at sea.
No doubt my next door neighbour’s 14 year old son will know how to set it up 😂 and show me how it works… should the need arise.
Failing that I’ll just have to join Dick down at the newsagents for a licence.
2
Once you sign up to a VPN service (like ExpressVPN), you download some client software, as well as a browser add-on, and then you launch the app from your desktop, select what country you want your “new” IP address to come from, click Connect, and you’re away!
Your UK IP address is disconnected, and your new IP is generated, thus fooling your ISP and those government cunts.
Piece of piss
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Thanks NCFOM.
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Are you going to ask that 14 year old boy how to access porn RTC ? You could end up explaining your actions to the local plod .😱
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It’s ok Fenton, I’ve already handed myself in to the Thought Police. Fortunately they believed my story that I’m a child refugee here illegally, so they let me go.
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I also use Nord. Basically, RTC , if you subscribe to a VPN it keeps your internet activity private so your internet service provider can no longer see or monitor your internet activity. Your IP address changes so that it can’t be linked to your real IP address. Whichever VPN you choose( and they are all reasonably priced) they will all stress how secure your connection is and all good ones don’t keep records. Nudge, nudge, know what I mean?
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Sorry RTC, that cunt IY beat me to it. 😊
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Cheers Bsc. Actually I’m not that bothered about internet providers keeping a record of my activity. I’m more concerned about having to hand over stuff like passport details etc.
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You’re not an illegal surely RTC? They won’t find you in Portmeirion as there’s no way in!
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Which is what the government scheme would require us to do.
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Ha ha, good one Bsc!
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What government scheme? I find it best not to have a passport to save me mixing with these filthy foreigners.
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The age verification requirement to enable access porn sites after July. You will have to provide details such as SMS, credit card, passport, or driving licence, unless you go down the VPN route of course.
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Off road…
A pîkey cowardly broke into a 79-year old’s home in Hither Green last year, was stabbed, and subsequently died. His death has been viewed as “lawful” by a court.
I thought common sense had been banished from the law. Wow.
I fucking hate gýpsies.
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I view it more ‘community service’.
Evening Cap’n.
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Fear not. I expect Cressida’s Dick to appeal and overturn the inquest verdict and bring this pensioner killer of an innocent pikey burglar to justice.
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Fuck me, it took the cunts over a year to reach that conclusion?
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I saw that news story too, Capt. I especially liked the picture they used of the guy who opened up the chest of the filth that was trying to rob him. Smug look on his face, enjoying a pint. I laughed and laughed and laughed.
I did not appreciate how Sly News decided to mention this cunt may have been under the influence of cocaine and heroin. The suggestion being he was impaired and wouldn’t have been on the rob if he’d been sober. Bullshit.
6
This pensioner was allowed to protect his home and family?
Wha-aat?
Give the grieving relatives some free heather, a knackered pony, and a bottle of Irish whisky for their trouble.
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That’s cruel Captain… surely the pony has already suffered enough. 😥
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The gypo’s mother, would you believe it is called Rose Lee!! I bet she didn’t see that happening in her crystal ball!
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Probably used ye olde tea leaves instead, BSC.
“Yes, the leaves show a large kitchen knife sticking out of my son’s chest…….this could be a bad omen”.
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I think you’re my friend again IY!😊
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No your not – I’ve just read your recent post about L.F. C.
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And the stupid old bat was droning on…”So unfair, people shouldn’t have to die, he was a good boy, never violent…”
It isn’t rocket science. We DO all have to die (tho I suspect our PM is of the Undead), I hope to suffocate very slowly between Penny Mordaunt’s juicy thighs…
As for the rest, perhaps NOT being a THIEVING PIKEY BASTARD might have saved the little cunt’s life. Until the next time.
We need German engineering – the sort of enclosed space they used about a year ago for testing CO exhaust emissions. A 100% success rate should be aimed for. Merkel’s unwashed fanny could probably wipe out a whole settlement of the vermin.
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The old geezer should get a knighthood. Then get that bitch out of No 10 and move him in.
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The coppers have asked for more money for the McCann case. Apparently they have “new leads.” Yeah, and I know where the lead to……..a nice Portuguese seafront bar with a knocking shop next door.
Trebles all round!
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Fucking hell! That’s how much they’ve had now? £12m?
Regrettably kids get abducted, abused and sometimes murdered nearly every day in this country. And yet despite a brief police presence they certainly don’t go round with the begging bowl asking for a few more million over a period of fuck knows how many years!
But then again, just like the first cuckoo of spring, I suppose the cops and the McCanns want another holiday abroad paid for by us in order for them to “cope” with their ordeal.
5
You have to be kidding. They don’t have new fucking leads. I’m sick to death of it, the cunts deserve all the shit. When will sense prevail?
4
Yeah… and that stain on Monica Lewinsky’s blouse was tippex, after taking Bill Clinton’s dick… tation.
Anyone with at least one working eye and ear knows what happened. The sprog had the same rare ‘keyhole’ eye defect as Mr Soros. Freud, Podestas, enough said.
Talk about hiding the truth in plain sight. The McFrauds presumably went public either because it was part of the ‘smokescreen’ deal, or because they thought they could pull off the biggest blinder of a double-cross blackmail campaign in history.
2
The parents did it.If not,why was the boot of there hire car have traces of her blood?
If they had been off a council estate they would have been nicked for child abandonment.
In any case, Gerry McCanns eyes are too close together for my liking…
Swingers holiday to boot: dirty cunts.
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Kate writes in her book about her sex life and gives us this memorable line……. “I thought about her perfect little genitals being torn apart.”
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!
What sort of sick cunt has thoughts like that let alone the mother of the victim? And then, what sort of mother publishes that sort of shit for millions of cunts to read?
There’s something very dodgy about that pair…….and their mates the “tapas 7”.
You don’t need a taxpayer funded holiday in Portugal to figure that one out.
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Had a bloke said that he’d be up before the beak and given 10 years on the sex offenders register!
Yes, the whole story sounds exactly that – a fucking story; and a sick and twisted story at that!
If ever the truth came out and the McCanns were implicated (allegedly, of course!), then they would be hung, drawn and fucking quarted for being utter utter cunts!
And as for your rhetorical question about what sort of mother would publish that shit? A rich mother who wants to be even richer! So make the book as “sexual” and controversial as possible in order to generate extra mullah!
5
I agree, Freddie. That wording is just inappropriate at best.
There’s something wrong with those two for sure. I hope the truth comes out while we’re all still alive, so we can enjoy their downfall. Cunts.
1
I suspect Mr. McCann had been having wet dreams about that same scenario.
2
That US DNA specialist has offered to look at the samples again and the UK detectives have declined the offer.
Stands to reason. If this professor found the test results implicated the McCanns then there would be serious questions raised as to why UK plod didn’t revisit this possibility several years and several millions of pounds ago.
I don’t hear the McCann’s pushing for this either. To me that speaks volumes.
9
The McCanns. As guilty as a cute little puppy sitting next to a massive turd.
7
I see young Mr Robinson is in trouble again. I think he has the biggest balls in the country but he really doesn’t do himself any favours.
Having said that, if a 17 year old snackbar threw a milkshake in my face I’d tan the little cunts jaws too.
6
Just about all MSM is referring to Tommy as a “right wing extremist” and “facist”.
The Daily Fail, which has commented, nowadays has more in common with the Morning Star.
2
These cunts need to stay out of the bedroom and stop micromanaging every aspect of our miserable (more so because of them) lives!
Also why 18 or over?
The age of consent in this country is 16. So basically some 16yr old spotty cunt and his 16yr old squeeze can play “both holes and a gobble” but looking at a bit of T&A on “insert your website of choice here” and that’s a big no, no.
Welcome to clown world!
The most galling thing is that ones that go for all this bullshit (namely Cuntminster and the media) – in the name of “protecting children” – are the ones most likely to offend in that direction (Saville/Cyril Smith anyone?).
If I want to watch consenting adults make a fucking good living from banging each other senseless then so be it!
Better that than some non-consensual activity (and not always adult – isn’t that right Sir Jimmy and your BBC enablers) in some backroom or broom cupboard in W1 or W1A!
Like I say, they are the cunts who most want to add that ‘P’ to the list of ever growing letters!
Fucking cunts!
6
The ruling class have always been sexual deviants. You can trace it back to the 12 year old “virgin queen”, Elizabeth 1 getting fucked by one of the Seymour brothers…..or whoever it was. It’s an inevitable consequence when you are rich and powerful and have nothing better to do all day.
The Sussex marriage will reach its crisis point when the boy Hewitt introduces his hooray Henry mates to Meghan’s bedroom.
Yanks don’t understand this sort of thing so the poor girl will have to fuck off back to Hollywood and fall into the arms of Oprah.
Fucking tragedy but plenty of dosh to be made. $$$
3
I used to get feels on a bitch now I throw sheilds on the dick, to stop me getting him from that shit. I’ll be damned if this ain’t some shit. Come spread the butter,lyrics over harmony grit. It’s the low killer priminister. Yeah I’ma white boi Killa.
2
Well done Mr Anchor. Some people might think you have gone completely apeshit but I know quality hip hop when I see it.
Or something like that.
3
I was watching afternoon television many years ago and it showed a baby being born, point blank between the legs camera shot. And I thought, how come it’s ok to show the end of a pregnancy on tv and not the beginning? Maybe it’s something to do with pain being acceptable and pleasure being unacceptable? I don’t know. But it says something about us humans that a lot of us find the most natural thing in the world embarrassing. Maybe in a century or so they’ll regard us as primitives.
4
They will, but technology will have destroyed all wisdom by that point.
3
Yep, I think you may well be right about that MandroidZ.
I always felt In The Year 2525 by Zager And Evans was prophetic and disturbing. Visage did a killer cover version in case anyone is interested:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhlZmO3Scvg
1
I’m pretty confident this will play out the way the ‘Millennium Bug’ did. In over 20 years of internet popularity, the British government has been singularly incompetent about doing anything to do with it. Stuff like this is mainly about headlines, to show the toucan rainbow-haired Feminazi brigade that ‘something’s being done’ about the availability of penis and straight-sex imagery at the click of a button, corrupting the minds of primary school children who should otherwise be growing up one of the 72 genders.
2
Fuck whats up with all this silly license business in the uk you’ve all gone license crazy?,1st with the telly Oi guvner wheres your license can’t watch state sanctioned propaganda tv if you don’t have a license m8! Oi wheres your spoon license lad u can’t eat your cereal if you don’t have a spoon license. Cutting a bagel without a proper knife license? fined a thousand quid and you go directly to jail all because you thought it was funny to not buy a knife license seriously not a bad deal if you ask me. Now you can’t even look at some nice titties or arse without pulling out a fucking porn license to prove your age unbelievable
Two reasons to just start rioting is first with crazy two sheds Theresa May ignoring a democratically elected vote with her subversive mp eu loving shithounds and keeping me from watching porn. Porn license is the last straw honestly its time to just start cracking heads open
4
Expect hordes of look at me fancunts on social media to go into meltdown today as Chewbacca has passed away…. Make a change from Harry Potter or Game of Thrones fancunts, I suppose… Joke is, 99% of these ‘fans’ and social media mongs are actually grown adults… The fucking state of the human race, eh?….
4
Oi where’s your grooming gang license you thought you could just start grooming young innocent impressionable teenagers without a license?! proper etiquette and license registration is a must m8
3
Dead right, TitSlapper… I wonder how many of those peaceful types will get ID checks? Typical of this country: peacefuls grooming young girls is a massive problem here… Yet the pillocks in charge are more concerned about teenage lads having a wank…. It’s an old trick… Focus on a small or non existent problem, while the huge and more sinister issues are swept under the carpet….
7