‘Olympic sized swimming pools’.
What the fuck is it about OSSP’s that get so much press?
I’ve swam a few of these pools in my time and granted, they’re a fair size.
But I’ve never once stopped to think, I wonder how many football pitches would fill this fucker, or fuck me that’s a great big hole that’s been mined to make way for the new stadium, I wonder how many OSSP’s the rubble would fill?
So why the fuck do shit head reporters for Al-Beeb or Sly insist on this comparison.
And whilst I’m at it, how the fuck do they know how many football pitches, cunts, tons of rouble or whatever it takes to fill an Olympic sized swimming pool?
Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface
Olympic sized pool for Olympic sized cunts. Seems reasonable.
5
ALL swimmy pools should be OSS. But just a little bit warmer, thank you.
1
I wonder how many Flabbotts there is to a Olympic-sized swimming pool?
5
…..about 60% of a Flabbot by my calculations.
6
When Flabbott dives (or rather just jumps) into a pool, there’s a huge tsunami of water pouring out, drowning everyone!
6
Flabbott comes racing back onto the shore
She’s wading incredibly fast
And racing behind her, right up to her arse –
Is the tide, as it tries to get past.
© Binny Skastard
6
Imagine the size of coffin required for Flabbopot. They’ll need a lorry with ‘wide load’ on it.
Anyway I think we have collectively invented a new metric, the Flabbopot Scale.
1
I’ve always wondered how many Olympic sized swimming pools the average bloke fills with piss during the average lifetime. It can’t be that difficult to work out so why hasn’t some cunt done it? That arsehole Hawkin could have done it, would have given him something to do sitting around in that fucking wheelchair all day.
Speaking of piss (and wind) I see that cunt Gavin Williamson is swearing on his kids lives that he wasn’t the “deep throat.”
Well that’s good enough for me……it’s not as if MPs are known for lying through their teeth is it?
13
Why do these cunts always says “I swear on my KIDS’ lives!” Why put those poor cunts out on a limb!
Why not say “I swear on MY life, I am not a lying cunt!” And if he is lying, then hopefully he’ll get struck by lightening, or stabbed by a Peaceful.
10
It’s to try and remind people that they have kids and so are not,possibly, a Gay. After all,nobody would believe a single word a Gay said. They are inveterate liars.
10
Steady on Dick, tarring all gays with the same tickle brush is a bit unfair.
I bet your one of them types that piss in the pool .
2
I once had a shit in a public pool….quite an achievement while balancing on the 10 meter high diving board.
Afternoon, MPG.
3
Good evening Fiddler.x
1
Assuming each man produces 1 litre of piss per day, and a lifetime of 75 years, that makes 27,400 litres of piss/man/lifetime; which is far short (1/73) of the 2 Megalitre volume of a standard Olympic pool (50 x 20 x 2 metres).
That’s assuming the liquid state. As all piss on ISAC has been boiled, and taking the density of water vapor at 100 C at atmospheric pressure is about a factor of 1600 less, that means when converted to steam the average ISAC punter produces a whopping 22 Olympic pool volumes of piss steam in his lifetime.
11
Very thought-provoking, Three Strokes, in particular your application of the laws of Messrs Boyle, Gay-Lussac and Avogadro to piss in its gaseous state.
I notice, however, that FINA (or Fédération internationale de natation) stipulates a pool width of 25m, not 20m, and recommends a depth of 3m, not 2m. Together with an increasing average life expectancy, and a little more than 1l per day (bit low-ball), these corrections would push the head-count north of 150.
Mutatis mutandis, those with habitual boiling piss would probably die younger, due to elevated cortisol levels, which would adjust those calculations in the other direction.
3
I,of course,swim like a fish,but wouldn’t dream of going to a swimming pool, Olympic sized or not. I have no desire to splash around in a mixture of bodily fluids left by the type of person who uses a public pool….piss,sweat,skitter,HIV infected blood……no thank you. Add in the characters who use these public pools..screaming brats,wrinkly old farts, benefit claimants,fat women and Gays looking to give the “kiss of life” to anyone who weakens…Fuck that.
The only good thing about them is that at least there’ll be no Dark Keys…those buggers can’t swim. Apparently B+W Cunts are capable of some doggypaddling,but I dare say a good dunking should be enough to keep them away from their true reason for being there…to molest Da White Wimmin.
Fuck Off.
13
I used to really enjoy bombing and dunking the weedy kids who couldn’t swim when I was a child. I like to think that I’ve put more weaklings off going in the water than Jaws.
10
Tom Daley loiters around Olympic sixed swimming-pools….I have no wish to be holed below the waterhole by that high-diving Homo.
11
Tom Daley only stays in the water long enough to swim to the edge. This is because his reamed-out ring-piece lets in more water than The Titanic when it hit that iceburg,plus he needs to get out quickly before the gerbils which fell out of his hoop on the way down hit him on the head.
15
I always wondered why ex Olympic swimmer Sharron Davies had the hots for the Fergals when they couldn’t even do the doggy paddle.
7
Davis always had a great camel toe while wearing her swimming gear during her prime!
Had no idea where she finished in the race, but it was always my teenage bonus wank to see her getting out of the pool, with her wet kit clinging tightly around her firm tits, curvy arse and deep toe!
5
‘before the gerbils which fell out of his hoop on the way down hit him on the head.’
Gerbils can swim FACT.
1
Not covered in spunk and shite they can’t….FACT.
5
I wouldn’t really dunk the B+W Cunts. I’d actually stand at the side and chuck those house bricks that common-kids wearing pyjamas used to dive for at them.
Anyhow,shouldn’t B+W Cunts be kept segregated and have their own pool? Perhaps that foot-bath thing that people have to walk through would suffice.
7
People who have private indoor pools are common. It is only one step up from the dreadful type who have “hot-tubs” on their “decking” in their appalling cobbled back-yards,right next to their outside toilet,probably.
I only swim in rivers or reservoirs. I keep well clear of the open sea for fear some boatload of illegal immigrants attempts to board me.
Fuck Off.
7
Morning Dick.
I’m beginning to think you might be Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen in disguise. Am I getting warm?
😉
2
No.you’re not getting warm. Llewyn-Bowen is nothing more than a fop and a dandy. He wouldn’t last two minutes down at the rugby-club.
Morning, RTC
5
The Kuwaiti scientist says the Gayness is contracted when a young heterosexual is ‘attacked’. Where better else for an opportunity for that to happen than at the swimming pool? I remember myself being jostled and bumped into and held down. Yes, that’s was the happening -.they were trying to tranfer the homosexual ‘worm’.
1
Remember Len Fairclough Mr F?
Always helping little girls out of the pool…….. by handling their bottoms!
You are right, they are dens of iniquity .
6
He was an actor, Freddie. They’re all Gays and toddler-touchers.
10
The Len Fairclough “Thumbs up Kids” swimming club.
6
Reminds me of that 1970s Rolf Harris public information film about getting your kids to swim.
There he was in a pool full of kids, no doubt keen to teach them the back stroke, and a good front stroke too!
13
Here you go…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t2VvcOHi2E8
5
Fucking quality, mate ! More please
1
Swimming and diving, gay sports. Greg Lougayness, cured by AIDS, the Bronski Beat, known to hang around diving boards, that guy from Little Britain who swims the English Channel, I could go on but I won’t cos I can’t think of anyone else. But I stand firm, swimming and diving = faggotery.
6
Ian “Thorpedo” Thorpe always had the whiff of Patchouli oil about him.
3
Ah yes Thorpey. Would dive into the pool and break a world record then dive cock first into some blokes arsehole. Went on to become a fashion designer specialising in bottomless cowboy pants.
3
I love that video where Jimmy Somerville gets filled in at the swimming baths.
2
Gavin Williamson is an Olympic swimming pool sized cunt!! 😂
( 2 birds 1 stone)
7
Morning Q.
Speaking of that cunt… Gavin ‘Go Away And Shut Up’ Williamson played a major part in getting Mavis installed as leader of the Conservative Party.
Assessing May to be the likeliest candidate to defeat Johnson, he offered to help her, and became her parliamentary campaign manager.
The moment she got her cloven hooves under the prime ministerial table he was appointed Chief Whip.
Therefore a triple Olympic swimming pool sized cunt!
5
Morning my good man RTCP…
All true …. 😡
1
VERY IMPORTANT NEWS ALERT ……
From the Sun …… Katy Price sore and oozing puss after latest cosmetic surgery ………
Her face has obviously come out in sympathy with her fanny.
Get to fuck
12
Ah, some good news at last!
6
Serves her right for going to Turkey to get it done on the cheap. Has she seen some of those Turkish birds? There’s a reason why a lot of them cover their faces, the same reason why goats are always busy.
She should send big mad Harvey out there to get her money back.
“Hello you cunt.”
9
I referred to Turkish birds as “bees”. The ubiquitous, regulation outsized sun glasses gave the look of the compound eyes of those Hymenoptera.
Almost invariably, after the age of thirty, those bees metamorphosed from quote sexy chicks to old croakers, and with remarkable alacrity.
As said the other day, I never knew the Turkish (dermatologists) possessed such a cutting sense of humour.
3
Erratum
“…quite sexy…”
0
I hope you mean pus. Oozing puss brings necrophilia to mind and it’s too early in the day for that.
Morning all.
5
Apparently Katie prices face had fallen off and was handed in at the local police station…..
she’s a proper fuckin mess!!
No wonder TV companies give her a show, it must be car crash TV at its worst!, watching a self obsessed talentless freak being chased around the house by her fucking honey monster of a son…..
7
Great cunting Cunty.
Btw, I think I’ve worked out “how the fuck do they know how many football pitches it takes to fill an Olympic sized swimming pool?”
First they measure the OSSP. Then they measure the football pitch. Then they get a calculator and divide the OSSP figure by the FP figure and Bob’s your transsexual auntie – they know!
The calculation would be a bit more tricky and time consuming for rubble and cunts, but reckon the same principle applies.
Hope that helps.
5
It’s just a matter of time until Muslims object to the ‘NO BOMBING’ sign….
9
They’ll also be insisting white female swimmers should only bathe in pillar-box attire otherwise they’ll be offended (under 12s are exempt of course)
3
NCFOM
How the hell are they supposed to molest or rape them if they’re dressed in rubbish bags? Have some feelings.
1
ah but as I said in my original post – under 12s are exempt from pillar box attire, and can just keep to their skimpy bathing costumes.
2
Moonlight skinny dipping in the sea is the best.
2
What? Haven’t you seen the opening scene of “Jaws” ?
2
😏 The night fishermen were more of a worry Freddie.
2
Ipswich has a 50m swimming pool. An outside one. Went there once a long time ago, probably 1990 something in the Summer. The water was fucking freezing and I remember my genitalia shrank considerably whilst I was in the pool.
Thankfully the lido has been closed since 2002 despite threats from the Trust to reopen.
Talking about other people’s bodily fluids, my disgusting best friend often used to blow his nose when in the water. Do remember getting him back for this once by persuading him reluctantly to jump off the 10m diving board. Told him to go first, which he did but then I allowed several other people to go on front of me (and immediately behind him) whilst I remained at the foot of the board. Unfortunately due to the popularity of the board he was unable to climb back down again. He was up there for ages before being forced to jump.
4
During my junior school years (10 year olds) our class was been taught how to swim in the school pool.
Everything was fine and dandy until almost the end of the lesson when I noticed a brown log floating in the pool, and a cunt standing not too far from it looking extremely sheepish!
Inevitably there was a mass exodus from the pool, and the boy ended up being ridiculed for the rest of time at school.
2
Remember when I learned to swim with the school back in the 60’s at Ilford swimming baths.
And the stripes awarded for the width, length, elementary, intermediate and proficiency? Yellow, white, green, blue and red? Sewn onto your trunks to denote ability.
A bus trip, cold, damp, dark Victorian changing rooms and veruccas the order of the day.
3
What was worse about swimming during school lessons, was having to get out of the relatively warm pool and then forced under a cold bleedin’ shower!
And quite often we would have to share cubicles – 2 to a cubicle. Always felt uncomfortable about that, even for a 10 year old.
2
Believe me – no matter how many of these monstrous swimming pools there are, there will never be enough to accommodate all the cunts in this world.
That black hole they photographed last week wouldn’t even be big enough to accommodate them. And that’s just our home grown British cunts I’m talking about.
2
There needs to be a taxpayer-funded enquiry into how many double decker buses can fit in an Olympic-size swimming pool, and how many of those stacked on top of each other would equal the height of the Eiffel Tower.
Heading the enquiry; Abbott or Natalie Bennett.
2
Size is not important; so long as one is not obliged to swim in a public cesspit.
1