Chris ‘failing’ Grayling [3]

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EMERGENCY CUNTING!

Chris Grayling. Again.

Barely a day goes by when the useless incompetent cunt otherwise known as Chris Grayling (Transport Secretary since 2016) hasn’t fucked something or other up. And usually big time, costing the taxpayer hundreds of millions (if not billions) of pounds.

Today (May 16th 2019) it has been announced that offender supervision has been renationalised. Chris Grayling (then had his Justice Secretary hat on) was in charge of the disastrous and “irredeemably flawed” privatisation of the probation service to subcontracted firms in 2014 which has seen the service falling into total chaos in just four years, taking with it nearly £500m of taxpayers’ money.

On the SAME day it has been announced that Chris Grayling (now wearing his Transport Secretary hat) has issued a warning to Tory contenders against scrapping HS2 high speed rail. This is despite a report stating the original cost insisted for the 225mph train would cost the taxpayer £30b, however after delays and repeated calculations the expected cost has already been estimated at £56b. Many experts calculate the final cost could be a staggering £100b.

The verdict is a staggering blow for Transport Chris Grayling, who has insisted the infrastructure project will stick within its LATEST expected budget (not the original one). Pause for disbelief and much laughter.

A Lords Economic Affair Committee spokesperson said “the cost of HS2 does not appear to be under control. If costs overrun on the first phase of the project, there could be insufficient funding for the rest of the new railway. The northern sections of HS2 must not be sacrificed to make up for the overspending on the railway’s southern sections”.

Esther McVey has said “HS2 must be scrapped. It is an out of date and unpopular vanity project, a huge waste of tax payers money, will destroy huge swaths of our countryside and would be a slap in the face for both our northern cities and the taxpayer”.

Only a few months ago it was discovered that Chris Grayling (Transport Secretary hat) had awarded a “post Brexit no-deal scenario” £13.8m contract to Seaborne Freight, a “shipping company” who did not own any ships. At the time he assured us that no public money had been spent however the government awarded £33m to Channel Tunnel operator Eurotunnel to stop it pursuing a High Court battle against the government.

Chris Grayling (Transport Secretary hat) was also blamed for the timetable chaos that caused misery for thousands of commuters in the Summer of 2018. While Grayling earlier claimed that he did not ‘run the railways’, the transport committee concluded that Grayling should have taken charge. Of course, this isn’t the first time the hapless Grayling has found himself in hot water. In fact, the Transport Secretary has a habit of disasters following him around.

Grayling (Homophobic hat) was forced to apologise back in 2010 for saying that B&B owners should have the right to turn away gay guests. The shadow home secretary’s colleagues turned on Grayling, with one shadow minister telling the Guardian that ‘Chris Grayling is just not up to the job’.

A book ban on prisoners, introduced by Chris Grayling in 2013, (again Justice Secretary) was one of his most unpopular moves. The former justice secretary’s decision to stop friends and families from sending books to inmates was later ruled to be unlawful by the High Court.

Grayling’s (Justice Secretary) decision to introduce charges for those pleading guilty in court led to the resignation of more than 100 magistrates. The fees – £150 for those entering a guilty plea in a magistrates’ court, or £1200 for those found guilty at a crown court – were criticised for apparently encouraging innocent people to plead guilty. Michael Gove binned the charges when he took over from Grayling, saying that the ‘intent has fallen short’.

Grayling (anti Northern people hat) did his best to alienate people in Manchester by comparing the city’s Moss Side area to The Wire, a drama series about American drug dealers. His opposite number, the home secretary Alan Johnson, accused Grayling of ‘talking Britain down’.

Train travellers were in uproar when season ticket costs rose sharply at the beginning of 2018 (and again in 2019). But in 2018 while miserable commuters waited on cold platforms for overpriced and delayed trains, Grayling (Transport secretary hat) made himself scarce – by jetting off to the sunny Gulf. Grayling said that he wished the fare rise ’wasn’t as high as it is’ but he insisted he was busy ‘trying to win jobs for Britain’ in Qatar.

Nothing positive has EVER been achieved by this man, and he has fucked up every single job he has been given. In any other business environment Chris Grayling would have been sacked for total incompetence and out of a job for good. The Midas touch in reverse.

Some say (to coin Jeremy Clarkson) that Grayling is only there to make Theresa May look efficient and credible. To her credit she would be hard pushed to find anyone worse.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Chris Grayling. A totally useless cunt of the very highest order.

Nominated by Willie Stroker

40 thoughts on “Chris ‘failing’ Grayling [3]”

  2. At least he is’nt a deliberate cunt as someone like Thornberry is but a cunt none the less.

    • The man comes from a distinguished line, including closeau of the french police on his mothers side and the bean family on his fathers. Asked to give in his resignation he broke the pen squirting ink all over the table.
      Chris is currently working as safety consultant for HS2.

  3. The Tory answer to John Prescott. The only other difference is the pie bill, which for Prescott was much higher. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumber, useless Cunts.
    Gilt edged Cunting Willie, take a bow.
    Good evening.

  4. A thoroughly detailed cunting. Kudos. Even among uselessly profligate ministers this cunt gets a gold star.

    They should have started that fucking railway in the north, when the money runs out around Birmingham you can guarantee the extra would be found to connect London. Now it’s just going to be yet another SE infrastructure project at the expence of the north.

    • This hucking felmet is proposing special ‘green’ numberplates for electric cars, so drivers of these so-called green vehicles can enjoy concessions over older, supposedly dirty diesel/petrol car drivers.

      An ineffectual, tinkering arsehole. That is all this prick is good for – fiddling around for fiddling sake.

      Gigantic cunt.

  6. This will usually mean he’ll get kicked upstairs to the house of lords on £300/day, or ultimately end up in the private sector waiting for some directorships to come his way.

    Useless cunts have a habit of falling on their feet for being shit at their jobs

  8. This is why these useless cunts go into politics. You can be shit at everything but as long you’re top class at brownnosing and bullshitting you’re fucking made.
    No cunt in this cuntry wants HS2 except the politicians and their rich pals who treat the Treasury as their own little piggy bank.
    At the front of the queue, with his tongue hanging out, is our old friend, the beardy Taxdodger, big fucking cheesy grin all over his cunting face.
    Fucking cunts.

    • Couldnt agree more Freddie,
      The services are riddled with ineffectual and incompetent cunts – all with more scrambled egg on their caps than Idi Amin. “promoted way beyond their level of competence” was written about a certain Admiral who used the Navy like a personal plaything. His tales of over excessive abuse of power and rank are legendary. The cunt had a pack of hounds who used to shit all over his “residence” and some poor Jack would follow them round with a dustpan and brush.
      The old boy network is alive and being passed to the next generation of useless cunts as I write. The scary thing is that amongst Sandhurst, Dartmouth and Cranwell they actually expect it.
      École spéciale militaire de Saint-Cyr turns out the real thing.

  10. Thanks for the substantial nom Willie. Reading it I thought he is ideally qualified to be Prime Minister as being an incompetent fuckwit with skin thicker than rhino hide appears to be a necessary condition for the appointment. Also, if you go to Europe – France, Germany, Spain, and further afield – China, Japan, India these countries all have a modern high speed rail networks. So why the fuck can’t this country, where the train was invented, get its act together and build ONE high speed rail line. Might it be because the rail infrastructure is owned by the incompetent Network Rail, which describes itself as a public company answerable to the government, and the trains themselves are owned and run by a disjointed franchise system that is a more suitable business model for selling hamburgers than running the country’s vital transport links.
    Deutsche Bahn, runs Arriva Trains Wales, Chiltern Railways, CrossCountry, Grand Central, and Northern. The German government is Deutsche Bahn’s majority shareholder. SNCF is the majority shareholder in a French private transport firm called Keolis which runs railway company Govia with the UK Go-Ahead Group. Govia operates UK franchises: Thameslink, Southern, South Eastern, Great Northern, and Gatwick Express. Greater Anglia, Stansted Express and Scotrail are all operated by Abellio. Abellio is run by Netherlands Rail whose only shareholder is the Dutch government. Abellio has partnerships with other businesses to run rail franchises. Along with the Japanese companies Mitsui & Co. and East Japan Railway it runs London Northwestern and West Midlands Rail. Abellio also runs Merseyrail with UK-based Serco. The c2c franchise is operated by Trenitalia. Trenitalia is part of the FS Italiane Group which is owned by the Italian government. Other franchise holders are UK companies FirstGroup, Stagecoach, and Virgin Trains (which is in part run by the Virgin Group and partly by Stagecoach).
    Basically our railways are run by the French, German, Italian and Netherlands governments and a motley collection of companies interested in squeezing as much profit out of rail travellers as possible. What a fucking shambles. What a mess. I’m no socialist or friend of Comrade McDonnell but I do believe the rail, power and landline telephone networks should be nationalised so that responsible investment decisions can be made and implemented.

    • An equally substantial and o formative response Fimbriations.

      Similar to you I am no socialist and like the idea of renationalising the railways however very much doubt we have the expertise and mindset on this country to ever make a proper job of it.

      Have visited Japan on many occasions, the trains there are clean, punctual, affordable, reliable and great value for money, even in Tokyo with a population of over 30m people.

      Don’t think we have a hope in hell of getting close to them, especially if the current criteria a train is only deemed to be late if delayed by more than 10 minutes is a yardstick. No fucking urgency or desire to improve or provide an acceptable service.

      Have always been a lover of trains and rail travel, often watch Chris Tarrant on his travels. Remember one episode when he was in Eastern Europe travelling on two national rail networks. Clean, modern trains on new track. When asked how they both achieved it, Tarrant was reliably informed with money from the EU.

      We’ve got to get out of the EU and start looking after our own people and our own infrastructure.

    • National assets such as rail, power, water should never have been sold off in the first place. So many inhabitants of our island do not realise that the railway franchise holders are basically foreign governments via front companies or cunts like Branson.
      I think that a Chinese company has a big slice of Thames water.
      Damm sure the Actureons have got their suckers into the local newsagents, bastards.

  11. Got my Green Party pamphlet today. A picture of the Lucas bitch back and front and some happy clappy , smiling vegan millennials on the inside.
    I examined it very carefully looking for the words “recycled/recyclable paper” and they’re not there.
    So back it goes with a note asking how many trees were destroyed to produce this stinking pile of remoaner shit.

    • I childishly modified my one by giving Lucarse a Hitler toothbrush ‘tache, devils horns and a pointy, Jimmy Hill beard.

      Just for good measure I added her a speech balloon – ‘I am a twat’.

      It was a real cathartic.

  12. You really wouldn’t send this cunt to the corner shop to buy a pint of milk!!
    Absolutely useless …
    total cunt……

  13. Excellent cunting, Willie. It seems they daren’t sack him, so he must know where the bodies are buried. He’s a typical member of this disastrous Conservative government. Now we’ve got Boris Johnson declaring he’s going to stand for the leadership. He could even become Prime Minister. And why not? The whole world is laughing at us because they think we’re a bunch of fucking idiots. We may as well elect this buffoon as our leader and remove all doubt.

  14. Spot on nom.

    This waste of O2 is such an unbelievably stratospheric cunt that he must surely be related to… A. C. Grayling.

    I’m glad my name isn’t Grayling. If it were, I’d change it to Stonefish.

  15. Why would you want to ban books in prison? What’s the thinking behind that?
    I’d like to see some cunt try to ban the Koran. Wait for the snowflake explosion and the furious backtracking .
    Good luck with that one.

    • You would think Ministers would go through proper channels before declaring such stupid ideas as banning books to prisoners.

      I mean for fuck’s sake its not as though a Minister doesn’t have enough lackeys working under him, including those permanent secretary cunts in the civil service. Surely someone must have said to him “For fuck’s sake, Chris, are you sure about this? Isn’t it illegal? Have you checked with the Justice Secretary?”

      The twat must have clearly replied in the negative to all those questions, and just went on and made his announcement; only to look a right cunt (as well as making the party look autocratic) when it was overruled by the High Court.

      Cunt

  17. As you say Willie, Grayling’s only tolerated in Government because he makes the other vacuous cabinet dummies and Appeaser May in particular appear vaguely competent. Not that it’s working anymore.

    Flabbott plays a similar role in the Labour shadow cabinet.

    • Those shadow cabinet front benches must be pretty fucking sturdy, considering they often support Flabbot and Flabammy at the same time.

      Probably why Tom Watson was told to lose all that fucking weight, the cunt.

      • Tom Watson, a shadow of his former self. In the shadow cabinet.

        I’ll get my coat.

  18. One story really pissing me off at the moment is Andy Mugray’s delayed knighthood. What a fucking cunt.

    Even her maj couldn’t be bothered to turn up, leaving the sword duties to Charles. If only Charlie boy had lopped the cunt’s sub-normal head into the royal basket.

    • Apart from his obnoxious publicity seeking mother, who gives a toss about the miserable moody English hating cunt?

      Thankfully Andy Murray wont read this tonight as understand he goes to bed around ten-ish.

  19. Her Maj ought to leave the sword wielding duties to Charlie the Chimpanzee all the time.
    With any luck he might do himself some serious fatal damage and he won’t be able to embarrass us all over the world.
    A double funeral would also save the taxpayer a shitload of dosh.
    Everybody wins!

    • I’ve never even watched 5 minutes of that overblown bollocks.

      What kind of sad fucking wanker do you have to be to petition something like this, for fucks sake?

      • These are the same cunts who buy fur rugs from IKEA because they look like the costumes those tossers wear on Game Of Cunts… And these cunts actually buy fucking rugs and wear them(!)…. And it is grown adults who actually do this shit… We live in a world of mongs…

  21. Great nomination and write up Willie.

    Grayling is a useless and incompetent cunt of the highest order and should have been fucked off long ago, he must have some real dirt on Treason May otherwise how’s the cunt still in a cabinet job.

  23. Chris must have a lot of dirt on a lot of powerful people or maybe he is the illegitimate son of royalty He must have some hidden angle because no one else survives so long fucking up so publicly so often.

    .

  24. ‘Useless cunts have a habit of falling on their feet for being shit at their jobs’

    Aye,
    Every fecking place I’ve worked, the more useless the cunt, the higher up the greasy pole they went.

    The last place that kept me off the streets for a decade, it also helped that most of them were the useless relatives of various useless cunt members of Manglement (and they were laying people off so that they could employ these arseholes) thing is, when there’s a critical mass of the buggers employed by any organisation, no matter how hard you try to stop them interfering in business critical decisions, they still cause damage, and the organisation they’re infecting is fucked. Royally.

    Problem then is, they usually leave the ship they’ve just sunk as experienced Managerial class useless rat cunts, and then go on to infect other unsuspecting organisations with their proven cuntery…Grayling being a prime example.

  25. “Proper channels” ?? At Wetminster, that wouldbe phoning up a friend that was at Eton with you.

    Otherwise, an echo chamber, with sheer idiocy bouncing off the walls like so much acoustic feedback.

    I rather think Mavis’ll be bouncing off the rubber walls fairly soon…

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