Smartphones and Concerts
Back in the 70s, 80s and 90s you could go to a gig (music, stand-up, theatre etc), sit your arse down with all the other cunts that made up the audience and watch the arty cunts on stage do their thing without any hindrance or obscurity (unless you were stuck behind a tall fat cunt with a huge barnet)
But over the last few years trying to do the same is now virtually impossible. And the reason? Because every cunt and his dog insists on hoisting their phones or tables aloft in order to record the cunts on stage rather than actually watching with their own eyes.
So if you’re one of those old school cunts, don’t be surprised to see an auditorium awash with glowing screens blocking your view and in all likelihood blocking themselves so they don’t actually get to see the cunts on stage anyway!
It is only when a cunt on stage actually takes the cunts in the audience to task will you have any chance of seeing anything. But that is quite rare these days. Although I do recall an Al Murray concert in Brum a couple of years back. He told the cunts in the audience right from the off to “turn your fackin’ phones off!” And they all did apart from one stubborn cunt. And when he took her to task she said “it’s my right!” And that’s when he fired back with:-
“If you get your fackin’ ticket out of your fackin handbag and read it, it will say ‘no photographic or digital recordings allowed. By purchasing this ticket you have accepted these rules!’ Nah then, you’ve got two fackin’ choices darling: either you switch your fackin phone off and shut the fack up; or you get chucked out of here and face possible prosecution. Your fackin’ choice!”
Needless to say she complied. But all the same going to a gig, even the cinema, is a right fucking chore, not least because of all the fucking noise by braindead Gen Zeds; but also because of all these fucking phones and tablets being a disruptive influence to anyone who just wants to see a show!
Nominated by No Cunt for Old Men
I remember recently seeing a twat at a Fun loving Criminals gig spend about four songs with his back to the stage, trying to get a fucking selfie with the band behind him. Once this budding David Bailey was happy with his picture, after cropping it, and adding the right filter etc, he then posted it to twatbook or instacunt, and spent the rest of the gig glued to his phone, probably to see how many likes the cunt was getting. As much as I wanted to shove him over, as use the pointless cunt as a riser, I realised that the poor cunt was suffering enough from having an empty existence, so I let him be. And laughed. Because you have to.
15
Sums it up perfectly.
We live in a twat society driven by (anti)social media and the need for immediate gratification.
Cunts the lot of them!
4
And, the prick paid good money to miss a great gig. Stupid cunt, I hope he has defective testicles.
4
Fully agree. It’s no longer about enjoying the music it’s proving you were there with your shit low-res footage you can upload to youtube later. Spit in their fucking hair the utter cunts.
8
Great cunting NCfOM, though personally can’t imagine wanting to attend any concert that these smartphone cunts would choose to infest anyway.
That said, the cunt who smartphoned this impromptu Who concert is surely deserving of our praises…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eBEwTw8wAaI
7
*Not the interviewer – clearly a Remoaner cunt of the first order.
5
First class RD , older people remember those times before the EU when British people lived and worked in Europe, some of my late fathers friends lived in Spain Tenerife etc etc in the 60,s and 70,s ….
on point….
Cunts that spend the whole time recording at football, pop concerts and even in nightclubs ( pascha space) etc are social meejah obsessed muppets!!
He’s a radical idea, go to the above and instead of social peacocking actually get properly emotionally involved in it……
Stupid vacuous cunts………
14
Having not attended a music festival since prior to the Smartphone’s conception, I cannot authentically adjudge this taunt.
It would, however, appear to be a golden opportunity for relieving some of these tossers of their appliances. A little bit of jostling with an accomplice or two looks like it would harvest a strong haul of recent models for shipping back to the Orient.
A lucrative spot of choring, and the misery and dejection engendered largely deserved, so it would seem.
6
There are a lot worse things than cunts with phones. There’s the cunts who leap up in front of you and start “dancing.” Why don’t you just hold up a sign saying “look at me! look what a wanker I am!”
But the biggest cunts of all are the arseholes (almost always female) who know the words to every song and insist on warbling them out at the tops of their voices. Fuck you. I paid good money to hear the professionals sing not some fucking whining , attention seeking fucking old slag.
I wish these fucking cunts would just stay at home and watch some Cowell shit. The cunt has gone to a great deal of trouble to cater for cocksuckers like you so stay in and watch it cunt.
13
I used to watch televised darts in the days of Lowe, the Cunty Cockey and that shortarse, gumless Scottish cunt. Back then the audience in the background kept quiet while the darts were being thrown; not a banner or hoarding in sight.
But today its like a fucking football ground, with hundreds of cunts waiving banners, flags and signs saying “Hello Mum; It’s cunt here!”; and of course shitloads of phones and tablets also being waved about.
What the fuck happened!?
7
I fucking HATE cunts who do this. Even worse at cinemas. Had a stand up row with some Nigerian bitch some years ago who was having a full blown conversation during a film whilst sat next to me.
Cunts who update social media during films: FUCK OFF YOU CUNTS
10
This is one of the reasons i dont bother going to the cinema nowadays. Other than that it’s usually a multiplex with sticky flooring and head rests, and then there’s usually nothing to watch but films aimed at spastics.
5
Nigerian, says it all. Never met a good one, cunts to the bone.
2
You couldn’t even get decent concert footage if you wanted to, too much shouting, handclaps, and other auditorioy interferences So whats the point? stupid dummies recording this and uploading it to youtube
4
Took my son to see Slayer a couple months back. Have to say I didn’t see a phone all night whilst trying to relive my youth. I put it down to a quality audience listening to a quality band. Fuck off.
6
Did your son get much out of the evening?
1
Yes CS. When I put the gun away. Trying to steer him away from that manufactured Simon Cowell wank. Got him a t shirt with our lord Satan himself on the front.
5
Speaking of music I just caught the end of Songs of Praise waiting for the footy to come on.
I’ve never seen so many happy, smiling, contented faces.
Wait until the peacefuls come for you, you muggy cunts!
8
“Primark installs gender neutral changing rooms following claims of unfair treatment by transgender customers”
Fuck me….chavvy,obese,tattooed Munters having to share with Trannies while they try on their elasticated leggings! Don’t think that I’ll be installing my spy cameras there anytime in the near future…..They probably sell “footie” shirts too.
Fuck Off.
6
Gender neutral? Does that mean blokes can go in there and perv over birds getting their kit off or do you have to be a trannie?
Asking for a friend.
5
Doesn’t bare thinking about, Freddie….Some huge tranny fighting with an obese Swamp-Hog over a pair of Spandex leggings.
5
Big respect to Fraser Anning some punk smashed a raw egg on his head after his islamophobic comments on christchurch and he punched the little fucker out haha lol good stuff
8
Just saw that. He put the boot into the cunt too.
Of course he’ll get the book thrown at him now. When Two Jags does it, it’s a big laugh but this bloke is a “far right” bogeyman.
6
Admin (or someone) keeps binning this nom so I post it here (if it does not go straight into moderation) and reserve judgment upon it to the Cunting Community. I rest me case.
A Fenian Fucking Brexit
No surprise whatsoever that Blighty is being held to ransom over the Brexit Withdrawal Agreement by the Oirish Tossers. Had me old arse based over there during the Troubles through the ‘70s and 80’s and at times up to the Good Friday Agreement and learned a thing or two. Basically the Fenien Fuckers are slippery liars and the Proddie Scots/Irish cunts are intransigent liars. Both are homicidal perverts that hate each other pathologically up and until business intervenes. Take your pick.
Both the Sons of Ulster and the Fenian Fuckers are essentially crime based organisations that carve up the rackets like drugs, arms, prostitution, taxi driving, receiving and thieving between them. Hence their antipathy to any sort of border controls that might prove embarrassing to trade.
Now to the hissy fit that that gender in transition cunt Leo Veradkar pulled in Brussels over the back-stop (perhaps he thought it was a butt-plug). Why is this misbegotten piece orf Brussels Burocracy so all important to them “allthough it will never come in to force and no party will ever build a security wall?” I might say that in me time over there, despite multiple Check Point Charlies, both life and trade, even in somewhat dubious items, went on by arrangement. The good old Anglo-Irish blind eye.
On to an interesting spot YT has just heard on the BBC R4 wireless wherein a Dutch cunt (he was involved in drawing up EU cross border agreements so knew his advocaat – foul drink) and an Oirish EU cunt were discussing the back-stab. The Dutch cunt stated that the whole propersition was totally unecessary because all the extra legislation and customs rules and IT infrastructure already existed to handle the situation, was already in use and he should know because he had drafted most of it. Needless the BBC apparatchic cut him orf pronto on hearing that by talking over him then bringing in the Fenian Fucker. Needless the FF was all smooth anti Blighty bile but let the cat oit orf the bag by stating that the back-stab had little to do with trade, it was POLITICAL. Any sort orf border demarcation, even just a line drawn on a map, was unnaceptable to the IRA hence their recent atrocity in Derry. The Fenians in Dublin are hell bent on using the manufactured situation to achieve the Reunification of Ireland and are very successfully using the EU cunts as their proxies to achieve it.
A few Proddie bombs blasting orf in Dublin with last minute warnings to the Samaritans in Birmingham might change a few minds orn that one.
A lot orf Fenian form on this MO. Like any pip squeek country they act it up large when hiding under the coat tails orf a big bully. They supported Imperial Germany during WWI and naturally Hitler during WWII even to the point orf drawing up a death list of Irish Jews for a Nazi invasion. Nice people.
https://www.thejournal.ie/readme/column-never-forget-hitler-targeted-the-irish-jewish-community-for-extermination-337962-Jan2012/
2
I think it has been posted Sir Limply.
I see Varadkar and partner were photographed with Mr and Mrs Pence. But it was strange how they were positioned. Surely it would be from left to right wife of political dignitary receiving / political dignitary visiting/ political dignitary receiving/ wife of political visitor visiting. But no it was Varadkar then Mrs Pence next to her husband Mike Pence (both in the middle) then the Teashop’s partner. It was odd.
I suspect Trump couldn’t stomach it.
I suppose Varadkar and partner are marching in the Saint Patrick’s Day Parade today. Parade the right word.
2
Probably named after Pope Leo Xlll. He was the Pope in his bull Aposticae Curae who declared all Anglican Orders ‘Absolutely Null and Void’. One for General Schizophrenia.
1
It’s here Sir Limpers…
http://is-a-cunt.com/2019/02/the-brexit-wars-ireland-strikes-back/
Just rejoice at that news and congratulate our forces and the marines…
3
Don’t think i’ll bother with drinking today don’t want to be a plastic paddy cunt… I Totally forgot its saint patricks day today, i’m a ritualistic drinker anyway, getting drunk 2 times a month is enough for me Wear all green act like a fucking drunk fool yeah thats really liberating I bet I’ll pass
2
Magic bit of cunting, No Cunt.
A variation on this which boils my piss is when the ‘Kumbaya’ cunts in the crowd decide that the ‘imagine all the people’ anthem time has come, put the phone’s light on, then stand waving their arm from side to side in the air.
Get stuck behind one of these twats and you’ve had it unless the battery gives out (it won’t; they’ll have made sure to charge it up), and you won’t be able to see the fucking stage.
3
Never got any of this shite at Motorhead gigs and if some twat tried singing “Imagine” there, then an enthusiastic shoeing would result.
And quite rightly so…
3
Excellent cunting, been to many gigs recently and people not even watching the show but showing video clips to cunt pals. The old days you dare not go for a piss Incase you missed anything. Cunts
3
Thank the fuck smartphones arrived a few decades too late to spoil my gig going prime years. Seldom attend anything these days anyway as (a) all the great bands are mostly pale shadows of former glories or (b) I’m not prepared to be ripped off via the legalised touting of secondary websites or preached to by politically correct Glastonbury type cunts. (And Glastonbury is long-overdue a mega-cunting all of its own).
As for stand up comedy….who the fuck are these numpties like Brand, Whitehall, Partridge, Cleese (über wanker in chief)?. Fuck I’d rather attend a Donny Osmond gig as I think I’d enjoy sauntering past the queue of leg-crossed women as I stroll straight into the deserted Gents.
1
Im not one for concerts but if i went to one i hope it wouldnt be an act that has such vain wankers as fans.
2
At least you don’t get this in the Royal Opera House and West End theatre yet. But there’s time yet. Smartphones are the end of civilisation. How many cunty parents do you see staring at their phones rather than communing with their sprogs? See how Gen Zee cunts can barely look you in the eye or communicate effectively?
The day that I get a message worth reading on my smartphone, it will be from E.R.N.I.E telling me I’ve won £1m, i.e. never.
1
I haven’t been in anything approaching a fight since I was at School in the 70s. If it ever happens again, it will be at a gig and involve the chinning of a smartphone cunt, dancing cunt, sharp-elbowed-heading-for-the-mosh-pit cunt or hat-wearing cunt.
2