Private Registration Plates

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I want to cunt private reg plates and the wankers that buy them.
Never understood the appeal in them…in the first instance it smacks of someone so vain and insecure that they want to hide the age of their car from the average Joe (as we know, only thick cunts buy new cars anyway). Then you have the bell ends that plaster some silly nickname on it like SM1THY or J0N3SEY, almost always a self given nickname that absolutely no one ever calls them. My brother is one such tosser, giving himself the reg BO55 CHCS, just to remind everyone he runs his own small business. Utter self obsessed buffoon that he is.
Most people would never dream of stitching their name or nickname on to their trainers or their T-shirt (because you’d rightly assume you look like a right dickhead)….so why is it acceptable to do it on a car? Not to mention for a half decent one you’re often in the region of thousands of pounds.
Such tragic, attention seeking behaviour, well and truly the domain of small dicked posers, absolutely desperate for someone to notice they exist. So if you have one…..be under no illusions that you are indeed a CUNT.

Nominated by The Ghost of Glauber Berti

60 thoughts on “Private Registration Plates”

    • I lived in the canton of Vaud in Switzerland.
      Yes, you’ve guessed it – all plates start VD.
      In most other parts of Switzerland, said to mean Vehicule dangereuse…

      GE (Geneva) is Guele elastique. Motormouth, or wobblegob.

      • In Frankfurt aM, Germany, drivers sporting an Offenbach registration mark get a rough ride: OF=Ohne Führerschein (no driving licence).

  3. A percipient and sage cunting, Invisible One, bem feito!
    Thankfully, “peak-cherished-plate” is now behind us here in Britain, but this frankly embarrassing menace of a phenomenon grows a-pace elsewhere.
    In China, for example, the “name of the game” is to incorporate as many 8’s as possible: less embarrassing but equally puerile. A Holy Grail in Beijing, for example, is 京A•88888. Its owner will be prodigiously wealthy, and a colossal bellend, for sure.
    My own father fell for this cretinism on a new car in the early nineties, though his infraction was relatively benign, of type: A xx DEF, where xx was his wedding anniversary, and DEF his initials. Pretty acceptable really. The plate cost £250, and he sold the car with it.
    Stealth taxing cunts.

    • Had the same in the 80’s with, the bog standard, C40 ARW, some woman bought it for her husband’s (the ARW bit) 40th birthday. It was through some agency, I got £500 (I was stunned) and they also paid for new registration. Wonder what she did when he turned 41?

      • Bought a new car, presumably, m’63. Not all these simpering nancy boys are hiding the decrepitude of their vehicles.
        Or changed the marker?

      • I was thinking more along the lines of killing him and finding somebody else with those initials that was still 39. Some women in my past have been obtuse enough to try this.

  4. There’s a lot of competition among MPs for TRA1 TOR.
    They can put that one on expenses if they like.

  5. I have one and I’m a cunt
    If I didn’t have one I’d still be a cunt
    I enjoy it when people look at me and think what a cunt
    Thank you

  7. Sure sign of a Cunt-Chariot.

    I always leave the number-plates on the Hilux thick with mud. Makes it harder for anyone to positively identify me…particularly cyclists,walkers,caravanners,dawdling old Cunts and anyone else who impedes my Grand Progress.

    Fuck them.

    • I like your style Mr Fiddler. Although I live in the country I don’t own a Hilux or an old school Landy so I don’t think I’d pull it off ; people would just think “what a scruffy cunt”……
      As I’m driving down the road in my mud-caked Kia Rio.

  8. The approved method for vain posers to conceal the fact that their Porsche (or similar ugly kraut built shitheap) is not actually this year’s model.
    Works particularly well with Porkers as they have been building the same celebrity/obnoxious yuppie-killing death trap since WW2.

    • People who have bumper stickers proclaiming that their other car is a Porsche.
      Particularly when said sticker is on a bleck man’s willy…

  9. There is one thing having a personalised number plate which is “accurate” but why have an half arsed one, doesnt make sense to me.

    If these fuckers want to spend money on this nonsense its their business…. But still Cunts!

    • Don’t be daft, an eco warrior like Jezza wouldn’t have a car. No, the cunt rides a bike, with helmet, high- vis vest and bicycle clips. He looks a right knob. Mind you, riding a bike in London is a dangerous business these days.
      I wouldn’t want to see him come to any harm.

      • You could always have your eyes closed as you drive over him or just be on your phone, that’s pretty common nowadays.

      • Whenever I see the evasive Commie cunt emerge from his house he gets straight into a big black ‘Cunt Carrier’.

        He’s always very nice to the waiting reporters though: “Lovely to see you all here, thank you for coming,” he says, with his fine tuned sense of English irony, no doubt designed to go completely over the heads of any Jews present.

  11. Off topic, but….

    John McDonnel says any UK citizen who was served in the 🇮🇱 defence forces should be stripped of their UK passport.

    I would not worry, John. At this rate, me and my tribe would have cleared off to the West Bank.

    The Labour party really is a vile hell hole of Jew hating scum.

    • Methinks Mr McDonnel will come to regret that . Fancy putting it down in a letter to a member of the opposition. Not the cleverest thing to do John, especially when an election is nearing. And by the way, you have just further fucked yourself supporting the Begum bitch, and her entitlement for continuation of her citizenship. Not clever John, not clever. Marxist Twat !

  13. A particular example of bellendiness is those cunts who don’t have a personalised plate but ‘split’ the letters and numbers on a normal plate to try and make it look like a non standard plate.
    It amazes me how much people are prepared to pay to get a ‘special’ plate. Some clown prince from the Middle East laid out a cool £7.5 MILL for GB plate ‘1’. Fucking hell.
    A couple of personal favourite bellend owners have been seen by me in recent years when in Edinburgh. A daft cunt in an open topped car drives around in H15 EXY. He’s ‘smoothed’ the 5s and spaced it to read HI SEXY. My absolute favourite is some indy cunt who has similarly amended YE55 COT to read (would you believe it??) YES SCOT. What a pair of absolute cunts.

    • F’kin’ ell, Mr Macnee (sorry, Knee), those Jockanese bastards you cite were plumbing the depths there all right, and no error.
      There certainly are some proper old-fashioned total tosspots “up the road”, as you most adequately illustrate.

      • To avoid ambiguity, Mr Patella, I think I should add, as a rider, that I’m half Jockanese myself. {Hamilton / through}

      • This cuntishness seems to be more prevalent in Scotland, where cunts with too much money come to die.

  14. Babe on a number plate, I was behind the car mmm thought fuck me this will be a looker, pulled alongside at the traffic lights . OMG it was a fuckin poof a sausage jockey called babe ahhhhhhhh took the day off with PTSD

    • Paraphrasing Jane Austin, it is a truth universally applicable that the pecuniary value of a motor car is in inverse proportion to the attractiveness/fuckability of its driver.

  15. People have personalised number plates so that people who don’t know them can identify them as cunts and complete twats before ever having to speak to them.

  16. I always look at a personalised plate and think ‘CUNT’.

    Not so much the initialled ones, but especially the ones that spell out something. To me that are just attention seeking, small dicked tossers or insecure twats who think the impression they are giving is that they are loaded, super cool and going against the grain and all that….

    Umm, no. You are all cunts actually.

    SH1THEAD5!

    • Agree absolutely Nurse, although I will say that I don’t mind ‘special’ plates when they indicate a bit of humour or irony on the part of the owner, as opposed to sheer cuntishness.
      Another favourite from Edinburgh (see previous post above) is a bloke who’s got a plumbing business, and his van’s got the number H2O, with the 2 slightly dropped on the plate.
      An honourable mention too for a VW beetle I spotted years ago in the Smoke, with the plate V2.

      • I’m probably just deeply jealous, Ron….because my £2.50 savings won’t stretch to a ‘NURSY1’ plate, lol.

        My cousin’s 18 year old is a classic example. As soon as he passed his test, the car had to be the just the right car for his image. As soon as he had the car, he HAD to have the personalised plate…….all of this bought and paid for by Mummy and Daddy (Daddy is a vet, so rolling in loot)

        Spoiled brat.

  17. I have a personalised plate which is actually my ham radio callsign. I’m about to put it on my new car that I just bought. So I’m not trying to hide my car being old.
    19 years ago i put it on my last car that I also bought new.
    It’s just a number that is personal to me. Nothing more.

    Anyone who thinks this make me a cunt can just fuck the fuckity fuck off…

    • I’m also “ham fisted”, Dioclese, and have been since my teens. Not the forum here, obvs, but I’ll look you up on qrz. Liked your DeadPool choices.
      73 de James

      • Are you a 4by2 as well? So now we have 2 gays and 2 4by2’s but only Krav is both….. That man is so intersectional.

      • You might get a knock from The Mossad operating a 1kW linear on 6metres in Tel Aviv, Excellency, and I’d lose the turban too, unless you’re already accredited with the MFA.

    • I guess at least you don’t get radio interference from mosquerats on ham radio…

      Although some sort of suppressor circuit might be advisable

    • Dio, you’ve let me down but more than that, worse than that – you’ve let yourself down!

  18. Private plates are for people who have so much money that they don’t know what to spend it on next.

  19. I believe a sought after one is PEN15. It says it all really. Usually private reg owners are wholly deserving of this cunting.

  20. It’s a sure sign that personalised number plates are for cunts by the huge amount of parking stanleys who have one. ASIF or MAJID seem to be the favourite

  21. If I could get it, just so I could park outside Kahnage’s City Hall or wherever the Spandex clad cyclist Gestapo are whining to the cameras. BOL 10X

  22. You can always tell a female midlife crisis, usually a Kronenburg on an Audi with a plate with BABE on it in some way and those fucking stupid headlight eyelashes.

    For the uninitiated a Kronenburg is a woman who looks 16 from the back and 64 from the front.

  23. For me, ANYONE with that moronic “Baby on Board” sticker. Presumably referring to the cunt of a driver trying to advertise their fecundity or if a bloke, the soyboy managed to get it up for once.

  24. Thank fuck I’m not the only one who thinks this.

    This has been bugging me for months as they seem to be getting more common these days – so common in fact that all the good ones seem to be taken so people are resorting to getting the best they can which often has more numbers than letters and makes no fucking sense or meaning to anybody who isn’t the car’s owner.

    The cunt sat in the car behind you at any given time doesn’t know you – the only arbitrary thing anybody knows about you is that you are a vein, showy, pointless prick who doesn’t seem to know or care that people think you are a vein, showy, pointless prick.

    There, I have vented. All better now.

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