MONTY DON
Is a cunt.
I hardly ever watch the I’m-so-triggered-that’s-really-problematic contemptible safe-spacery that is al-BBC-eera any longer. Yet whenever it turn in on, without fail I encounter this self-regarding, effeminate spunk-trumpet.
Possessing stratospheric levels of narcissism despite having a face like a derby winner, it doesnt take this limp-wristed, wine-quaffing ponce long to get over his fashionable episodes of depression and start spending the taxpayer’s money on business class jollies to the South of France so he can wank over a privet hedge for half an hour.
So far in the closet he’s having afternoon tea with Mr.Tumnus, he is another half-witted,simpering star in the constellation of lamentable players of the pink trombone who infect our screens.
Nominated by Ted O’Noggis
Where has this Monty Don Nom sprung from?
3
Spooky… I think we might need an exorcist Miles…
1
Monty Dom,
Had a nom,
Wearing a straw hat,
Cos he’s a Cunt.
Ran out of steam a little at the end but on the whole, I’m proud of my work.
Goodbye for now.
6
Cos he’s a twat?
6
Thank you Mr Plastic. I tried and tried to think of a rude word to rhyme with hat, to no avail. As punishment I have shaved all my hair off and watched the street light across the road for two hours.
TTFN.
6
RC i don’t know why but you always make me laugh, is anybody going to give the stansted 15 a cunting, I would if I could write like you lot
2
Isn’t he a gardener?
Alan Titchmarsh was a gardener.
The End.
4
I rather like Monty Don.
He’s one of the few presenters who actually knows what he’s on about,and isn’t trying to be a “character”. He sticks to what he knows…gardening,and isn’t always popping up on “Celebrity Fucking Whatever” other shows.
There’s something reassuring about seeing him pottering about his quintessentially English garden.
11
Agree – and I speak as someone with zero interest in gardening.
Alan Tichmarsh on the other hand makes me heave at the very thought of him (thanks Rebel me old mucker – see above).
3
Don’t be too hard on Alan, RTC.
I’m not sure Alan has handled his finances very well.
He’s recently taken out the cheapest, over 50’s life cover available. Says it all.
The one eye looking for the bus cunt….
4
Oh dear… my heart haemorrhages Cuntley…
😂
3
I like the Don. Can’t really think of anything cuntish that he has done to invoke my ire.
Poor old boy had a stroke a few years back, but good to see he bounced back.
5
He’s a Kraut…
Dyes his hair…vain cunt….
3
Monty Don is erudite and rather interesting.
No point nominating someone because s/he is better informed than you or seems a bit more posh than you. There used to be a time when people respected their betters!
Don simply doesn’t compare to most of the current Labour parry, EU officials, Blair etc etc.
2
I too think that yo’all bein unfair to o’l Monty . At least he’s sincere and actually interested in gardnin.
On the other hand I despise that Smoothie Tyke Shitmarsh with his immaculate grooming and self-satisfied smirk who seems to be a sex symbol to middle-aged WI members when it’s clearly obvious that the cunt has never held a trowel in his life!
4
On good authority the ‘pleased with himself ‘ vibe is apparently not something that only comes through on the telly lets put it that way.
…
4