Indolent Immigration Officers

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I would like to nominate indolent immigration officers for a cunting. If you’ve travelled extensively I’m sure you will have come across the species I refer to. It’s a hot, sweaty climate. You’re tired and jet-lagged and you have the misfortune to choose the wrong queue at immigration. Whilst travellers in adjacent queues are processed quickly and efficiently your queue hardly moves.. Must be some arsehole with no visa or expired passport you think and crane your neck to see the problem. There’s a middle-aged lady being given the third degree by the immigration officer. She hasn’t got a long black beard and isn’t wearing a bed sheet. She doesn’t appear to be confused and doddery. After 5 minutes you hear the “thunk” of the visa stamped into her passport and think great, things will start moving now. Wrong! It takes the immigration officer another 5 minutes to process the next person – a young student with a backpack which the immigration cunt is laboriously rifling through? It takes him 5 minutes to process the next person – an elderly man whom the cunt requires to produce a hotel booking form and return flight ticket. Same lethargic and indolent treatment of every person in the queue. Thunk. So I start counting and find that for every one person the cunt processes the officers either side of him process five. Now I recognize immigration officers perform an important function and have procedures that must be followed. I have no problems with that. I also recognize that entering some countries can be very trying of your patience – ever been to Saudi? But this was a country that always brags about its cleanliness and efficiency. Yes, Singapore. Woodlands border control point to be precise. When I finally got to stand in front of this piece of shit he wanted me to recite and prove all the information that was on the immigration entry form in front of him. So I said “call your senior officer here now” Thunk. No says I. You are a lazy pompous arse behaving like a little dictator. Call your senior officer, I’m not moving. Cunt seizes my passport and telephones his boss. He knows I have a bus connection to catch and will now miss it so he smiles like the smug bastard he is. Inspector takes me upstairs to office. I relate my complaint about cunt’s attitude and say watch the CCTV coverage and you’ll see what I mean. Inspector does so. Calls the smug bastard off his desk. Takes me down to bus stop and ensures I get free bus ride into city. Apologises for the cunt as I leave. So don’t be harassed and bullied by little immigration officer cunts like Sgt(2) Ooi Jing Beng of the Singapore Immigration Control Authority, Woodlands checkpoint. Fuck off cunt.

Nominated by Fimbriations

28 thoughts on “Indolent Immigration Officers”

  1. Please spare a thought and a prayer for 50 British Jamaican men who, having committed a serious crime, are being deported today by nasty immigration officers who obviously dont have a heart or respect for the rights of these very nice gentlemen.

    • Good bye.
      I signed a petition which I found out about on this web site and they’re constantly emailing me with other petitions that they think I might be interested in.
      The deportation of these stinking foreigners was one, they thought I might like to try and stop the deportation.
      No you stupid bastards, If you’d have taken notice of the anti immigrant petition I signed in the first place you’d understand that asking me to keep criminal Jamaicans here is a waste of breath and an insult.
      Fuck ’em off, fuck their families off, and fuck all their supporters off.

      • I get the same. This evening it was one supporting 16/17 year old remainers being allowed to vote. Most of the fuckers can’t spell their own name, why would I want to give them the vote?

  2. Coming back into this country is as bad. How *dare* a peaceful immigration cunt look questioningly at my honkey, indigenous ass.
    Fucking peacefuls.

  3. You try to smuggle some drugs in….they nick you.
    They don’t want drugs in their country.
    So you try to smuggle some drugs out….they nick you.
    Someone needs to make their mind up. It’s very confusing….

  4. Commiserations Fimbriations, that’s why I don’t go abroad anymore. That and the fact I can’t be arsed. Great cunting.

    Related issue:

    Shelagh Fogarty (obese libtard presenter) on LBC a few minutes ago:

    “PLANE LOADS of BLACK PEOPLE are being DEPORTED from the UK…”

    Really? Wouldn’t that be contrary to the Race Relations Act of 1965? Always assuming I believed it.

    She then had the cheek to ask Nigel Farage when he was going to come clean about all the criminal activity he was involved in during the Leave referendum campaign and “have you been contacted by the FBI yet” implying his involvement in the nonsense surrounding Trump and the Russians.

    Nigel calmly held his ground… but the smear lived on to smear another day.

    • I was listening to JoB this morning on LBCTQ and just caught the Nigel Farage interview with SF. JoB was all over himself when the Tusk ‘hell’ remark broke. That was until some guy called Vivien had a real go at him and he retreated like a tortoise into his shell.

      Had to have chips and gravy for lunch, the constant comments about gravy wouldn’t let my receding brain cell alone. Managed a cheeky meat and potato pie and mushies as well. Followed by a nice snooze.

      Now the only other two things that are on my mind are beer and vagina.

      Oh it’s all good here at Cunt Castle.

      TTFN.

      • Same here, had chips and gravy on my mind all fucking day, almost to the exclusion of considered thought, so having some shortly.

  5. I haven’t left the country for 15 years. My excuse used to be there were too many foreigners….

  6. I’ve done my travelling. Now very content to retire in Sandown with my wireless Kef LS50 speakers, which are the fucking dogs.

    • Understand Cunts n Roses. I would stay put bit Mrs Fim insists WE visit family. Easier to go than get 6 months earache. The same cunt qualities can be found locally though – GP receptionists, Job Centre jobsworths etc. ☺️

      • I cunted GP receptionists last year, the fcking bitches. Stick them on immigration; the terrorists’d be racing back to the planes.

  7. You have to feel a tad sympathetic to these fuckers, it must be a rotten job. Everybody you meet is a potential criminal, especially the polite, well-mannered ones. I’ve always found Chiangi (Singapore) pretty decent. Having said that, here’s my own personal list of Immigration at airports:

    Slowest: Oman
    Most officious: New Zealand
    Most efficient: Japan
    Most confusing: L.A.
    Best: South Korea
    Biggest cunts: Melbourne, Australia.

    • Agree Captain. This was one lazy indolent I’m going to fuck you about because I can cunt. His colleagues were fine far as I could see. Oman? Slow yes, but lovely people in my experience.

      • I was only there for a couple of days after my aeroplane was re-directed from Dubai due to storms. Nothing much of a country and safer since the SAS did away with the mountain bandits..

        Seoul is the best I’ve experienced. Smooth, polite, plenty of booths, luggage straight off – quite a joy.

  9. There are jobsworth cunts everywhere. Immigration at Houston used to be snotty as fuck just cos they could, until George W gave them a kick up the arse for creating a bad impression on visitors to the good ol’ US of A.

  10. There are many fly on the wall immigration/border control programmes on Freeview featuring USA/Canada/Australia or good old Blighty. Iv occasionally seen the Australian one and without fail always feature some assorted Far East ting tong, usually coffin dodgers or students, bringing suitcases full of home ‘delicacies’. Vac packed duck arsehole or some other unfortunate road kill and unidentifiable shite, when caught out always the same struck dumb expression and “me no Engleesh, ok? I go now”.

  11. my worst experience was JFK, the rudest people you would ever hope to meet, fuck them and their fucking country.

    having said that we could do with a few in the uk on our borders to keep some of the shit stained cunts who want to come here with the aim to fuck up our lives.

    The shit stain that is David Lammy and his racist messages about black lives is a disgrace to our democracy.

    If foreign nationals have committed serious crime in the UK they are OUT, no if’s or but’s no matter what their promised status may have been.

    When are the silent majority in this country going put a stop to this apologetic atmosphere around immigration.

    CUNTS

  12. When I was deported from Greece,the Greek Officers were rather more polite,and certainly spoke better English than the ones who greeted me when I landed. For one dreadful moment,I assumed that I’d been put on the wrong plane and landed in Karachi….Curry munchers seemed to be manning all the desks Luckily, the sight of a couple of Dar kies in uniform,another in a turban,and a huge,butch, white, lesbian Officer reassured me that I was actually back in good old,culturally-enriched, Blighty.

    Fuck Off.

    • Evening Mr Fiddler, yes I would be pissed off as well after discovering the island of Lesbos wasn’t inhabited by lesbians who could be persuaded to indulge in a bit of ‘Fiddling’. More likely to find a family of shipwrecked towelheads living under a tarpaulin on the beach these days.

      • Evening LL.
        I did notice that as soon as Greek women turn thirty,they all seem to grow ‘taches,get fat,and shrink to 5 foot in height. Never seen so many unfuckable bags since I watched the Miss Liverpool beauty pageant.

  13. Yep, some of these immigration staff believe that because they wear a uniform and have a little bit of power, they can throw their weight around and get shitty about the most ridiculous, pointless, fascile trivialities known to mankind. They are Hitler-esque fucktards with tiny penises (the women too, so butch they may as well have a knob)

    Just as bad are travellers though. I was stuck in a horrendous queue last year at security when coming back from Gran Canaria. This asshole woman had put a fucking laptop INSIDE her take on suitcase and the equally thick security bloke made her open the bastard ON THE CONVEYOR BELT, instead of taking her to one side, which meant that every sod standing behind her had to wait for the pair retards to stop fucking about with the bag search.

    What planet do these fucktard flyers live on when they STILL have not got the memo that a laptop, tablet, 50 inch TV set or whatever fucking else technological cannot stay in hand luggage, and needs to be removed for x-raying?? Instead of trying to locate a brain cell inside their tumbleweed stuffed skulls and pack accordingly, they see no issue with fucking about everyones else who has packed responsibly.

    THICK CUNTS!!!!

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