Another cunting for fatties. This time for fat cunts in the army.
I was shocked when I read this story:
Now I know how these media twats like to exaggerate everything. I’m sure that 1 in 5 of our soldiers aren’t “obese”. I suspect most of us that don’t live on lettuce and dress in stupid lycra costumes and run and cycle every morning will be classed as obese, but I’m somewhat disturbed by the notion that ANY soldier in the British army is not healthy and fighting fit.
How the fuck can they be expected to run across no man’s land or yomp across the Falklands if the fat cunt can’t even walk to the fucking shops.
What, they just going to let the rest of the soldiers do the marching, fighting and heavy work while the fatties plod up the rear, wheezing and sweating.
Apparently the fat cunts are even giving dietary advice to other soldiers…
Yea coz we’re all gonna take advice about responsible drinking from an alcoholic or advice on how to treat women from a fucking rapist.
Nutrition advice from a fucking sweating, wheezing, wobbling, mound of blubber…
Fuck off.
I guess I can’t slag em off too much. It’d be a bit too much of pot & kettle, I’m getting a bit podgy (especially round the gut), but I’m not a soldier.
The freedom of our country doesn’t rest on my shoulders (lucky for all of us).
Our security, prosperity, freedom and entire way of life relies on our soldiers being the best in the world. The best trained, the best armed and the fittest. How the fuck can top brass allow any soldier to get to TWENTY FIVE FUCKING STONE?!
How can a soldier even reach that weight?
I’ve never been in the forces so maybe I’m being ignorant but aren’t soldiers required to do physical training every day?
Isn’t the food they eat supplied by the army?
Aren’t higher ranks required to be as fit or more fit than their subordinates?
I’m confused.
I do worry about our armed forces, as well as our entire society. In fact our entire civilization.
First crying, hugging, praying, taking orders from the Muslim council, trannys and wimminz on the front lines, and now fatties…..
Am I missing something here?
I think a change in leadership is called for.
Nominated by Deploy The Sausage
“Put down the fork, Tubby.”
I thought of Monsieur Fiddler when I wrote the title for this post. Haven’t written much recently but pointless slaphead Umunna has got me thinking again…
https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2019/02/21/fiddling-whilst-rome-burns/
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Umunna’s head is wedged so far up his own arse it will need to be surgically removed.
They could remake Are You Being Served? with that heap of shit
Chuka Ummuna as Captain Peacock
Anna Soubry as Mrs. Slocombe
Chris Leslie as Mr Humphries
Mike Gapes as Mr Grainger
Gavin Shuker as Mr Lucas
One of the Tory tarts or Joan Ryan as Miss. Brahms
No doubt doddering old Mangledbum could make guest appearances as Young Mr. Grace
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I can imagine Chris Leslie walking out of his constituency meeting-‘I’m free!’
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Just had my morning coffee and after I had my daily shit it was a big one too. I stepped back to look at my filthy creation and I scared myself because what i had just unleashed looked exactly like Chuka Ummunas face. I had to pull myself together and theorize why it had looked like that This burnt chukka cunt is forming a new centrist party? why what for? there is already like 50 different centrist parties no need for another one
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Exactly. All it is, is a vanity project for the flouncing Chuka.
Apart from Brexit they have fuck-all in common except to be top of the bill. The egos of Chuka and the Soubry cunt will soon clash.
Umunna has never forgiven himself for having to withdraw his Labour leadership bid after two days because of *granny problems* (there’s nowt so queer as folk :-; ), but sure as fuck he will never become Labour leader now.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
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Did his Granny get hijacked by Rooney ?
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I think it’s the hormone replacement therapy or anti-depressant drugs causing them to be fat given that the “modern” British Army only wants to recruit flakes, fruits, trans and Jihadis these days don’t they??
I’ve seen the ads!
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The fat cunt in the picture will fight for queen, country and Colonel Sanders.
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One hopes he never needs to get inside a tank, LL.
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P. S. Off-topic. Just seen May “cap in hand” with Druncker on AL-BEEB news this morning.
Druncker was sporting a handsome sized Elastoplast on his left cheek.
No doubt his latest fall is courtesy of a couple of EU funded bottles of Bolly. Useless auld cunt!
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He’s not fat. It’s a Ghanaian wearing extra layers to keep out the cold. Either that or Private Parts forgot his shopping bag for the two cartons of Carlsberg.
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Back in the day we had a “secret” soldier.
He was the sqms in my squadron, he had extra panels sewn in on both sides of his boiler suit, didnt have a No2 uniform because they didn’t make them that big, But..
The guy had an encyclopedic knowledge of part numbers, (part of his job) he could just sit there and real off the part numbers of the bit of kit you needed plus a few extra bits that would make it work better, the guy was a genius ok a fat cunt but a useful fat cunt.
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There was a fat full screw in my troop who got that way because of an ankle injury so couldn’t participate in PT or would have to do biff PT.
He got MD in the end but that was in 2012. I guess now they don’t MD fatties in order to save hurt feelings.
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I remember one bloke who spent the last month of his service running BFT’s until he could pass one for his discharge.
Used to see him dying on the range road on a daily basis.
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Lets hope if those fat fuckers ever have to go into battle the enemy isn’t up a flight of stairs…..
It’s the same when you see a fat cunstable wobbling down the street
How on earth would the fat cunt
A … pursue a criminal on foot?
B…. actually be able to exit a police car?
C…. tie their shoelaces ?
You would think a prerequisite for the job would be decent physical condition
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Oddly, most of the WPOs round Cardiff are REALLY fit…
Sadly, haven’t seen any of the mounties for a couple of years now.
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Off topic, but….
Black MET police poster girl, Robyn Williams, up in court for kiddie porn. Something to do with her sister….
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Didn’t see that news story, funny that!
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Don’t him above to IS. If they lobbed his head off he would go off like Vesuvius.
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Fat soldiers are a rare thing nowadays, they are either in some other field of expertise like bomb disposal or a medic, army usually doesn’t want fatties but then again alot of fat shaming acceptance cunts get in and army even accepts jihadists and transbenders just to be progressive virtue signalers fuck right off
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this would be the story.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/8474201/scotland-yard-golden-girl-charged-in-connection-with-an-indecent-image-of-a-child-sent-to-her-by-her-sister/
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It’s symptomatic of a civilisation in decline.
Games up for us
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I think the article in the Sun may be a “me-too” story, after last year’s RAND report in the States, qv.
Always ahead of the curve, and I think our Septic cousins do indeed have a serious problem.
At least those 24/25 stone lard buckets were stood down. However, on your wider points of UK society in general, and its leadership in particular, I can only concur, Deploy.
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OP…
The biggest lie being perpetrated by not so independent group” is that the conservatives have been taken over by extreme right wing lunatics ? Granted the ERG are giving may some headaches but this situation isn’t their fault!, listening to rancid remoaner justine greening on sky has made me feel nauseous, this barrel of cunt we find ourselves in is a deliberate Brexit blocking trap set by slippery cunt EU rent boy Ollie robbins and signed off by the complicit hunchback both knowing full well that this Irish backstop would never command a majority in Parliament! How could it?
With the clocking running down panics setting in , Mays orchestrated the whole show No deal was never something that the heavily remain House of Commons would ever sign off on so the pantomime is coming to its final pathetic act, knowing may cannot get her deliberately hobbled deal thru and no deal as the EU know won’t fly it’s all an absolute illusion , Unfortunately the beating drum of a 2 nd referendum gets louder every day…..
It’s a sell out of biblical proportions and the resentment will last a lifetime……
Fuck all quisling hoards who have made our country a worldwide laughing stock…..
Sorry for such a pessimistic post …….
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I agree with much you write, but in the absence of a further referendum, there’s little the public can do either way.
In any case, not long to go now. In the meantime, unless you’re already on an ACE inhibitor like Ramipril, I’d advice occasional (ab)use of propranolol: together with a nice, tight mint julep, and a pipeful of Skunk IV.
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House of Commons is remain
House of Lords is remain
Pointless asking the people….
Referendum 2
53 remain 47 leave ? Hardly conclusive
49 remain 51 leave? Ditto
What constitutes a margin that’s good enough?
Even if leave won 55 leave 45
Commons and House of Lords would try and derail it……
democratic free will ? Don’t make me laugh….
Definitely going to try you concoction
Sounds the ticket 👍👍
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Your…..😂
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I always believed it would come down to the bullet
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Pessimistic or realistic Q? Bang on the button far as I can see. Great post. Thanks
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Cheers FIM 👍
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I think this is a brilliant idea by the brass. As we have a nation surplus of fat slob, recruit them as mobile barrages instead of having to drag along sandbags.
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I am a fat bastard, but aware that i am, so not about about to give dietary advice to any squaddies.
What makes me laugh is the size of these women handing out diet and fitness advice as if paragons of athleticism.
I know a woman who worked for Boots – an enormous, moon-faced thing with hipster specs and crap tattoos. She offered a friend (and amateur boxer) advice on smoking and how to ‘develop willpower’ and ‘control cravings’.
His expression was priceless.
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I’m so fucking glad I’m old enough to have served before all this bullshit took hold. How the fuck is someone who’s the size of a Challenger 2 possibly pass a BFT? Oh, that’s right, I forgot, they’ve changed the standards. Now fat cunts get all the time they need to complete a one and a half mile run, or in their case, waddle. This is what happens when political correctness is allowed to take root in the military. I feel sorry for the people these uniformed Jabba the Hutt impersonators serve with, because they’re the ones who are going to pay for it if we have to fight another war. But hey, we have to be inclusive, what does it matter if they can’t do they’re job effectively, and some other poor cunt loses a limb, or their life, because fatso must be allowed to serve.
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I don’t think they wear boots on the BFT any more either.
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No, they probably wear slippers.
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I can see the future. Ex-troops rejoice. All the heavy lifting and being shot at will be done by armoured robots and drones, controlled via satellite by rows of enormous specialists, excused uniform and parades, on flexible hours, in open plan offices back home. Being a geek will be an essential qualification too. All hail tech – in the country of the unicorn the fat cunt will be king.
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Afternoon K. Don’t give the robots and soft fat bastards much chance against the PLA. Have a look at their military parade on YTube. Now that’s what soldiers should look like.😉
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Evening, Fimb. They’ll be making the gadgets we hope to use against them, on current form. And there’s a hell of a lot of them too!
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😠 X 2.6 billion. Where’s the Ridsect? Morning K.
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Totally with you on this one too, Mr Sausage.
I think any person who is required to be fit, be it soldiers, police officers or nurses for that matter, should bloody well be try to be so! I often watch those tacky, fly on the wall, US Police shows where they have the body cam thingies on. Only the other day I watched one and the cop was bloody OBESE!! It was a total farce. All you could hear was him huffing and puffing as he tried to drag his lard arse in a chase, following behind his distinctly slimmer partner.
I mean, what the actual fuck?? What use is a fat cop who cannot chase down a criminal?
I also worked with nurses who were severely overweight, with their uniforms begging for mercy, stretched almost to the point of exploding off of their expansive girth. Anyone having a fucking cardiac arrest and needing the nursing staff and crash team to come quick smart would be shit out of luck with a lardy like that. I also don’t think that it is a good image when a lot of the job involves promoting good health….to be sitting their looking like you have eaten the A&E consultant.
Ludicrous cunts.
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There’s a bit of bs from The Sun here. The figures are probably true – released under a freedom of information request. When I served, we were routinely asked to submit to BMI tests by PTIs. This would then be recorded on a computer. One day, a muscly PTI admitted that he was obese – not an ounce of fat on him, but his muscle mass meant that he was obese. I served with the Royal Marines, too, and I imagine a lot of them were “obese” due to muscle mass. There’s the odd fatty doing office jobs or, through injury, has been relegated to working in a store, but, in reality, the troops are fit to fight.
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Nobody in their right mind would take on the marines, I reckon. They look like a bunch of right fucking hard knocks.
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I spent a very enjoyable 25 years in HM Royal Marines, thank you very much, and I don’t think the BMI measurement bore much relevance to us in any of our training or assessments; certainly not ‘back in the day’ when I signed up. At 6’1 and 13 stone, I was the smallest in my section, given the ironic nickname of ‘Titch’ and nominated to carry the bloody machine gun as a personal weapon.
The only time it became an issue was when a bunch of us went to do our parachute training. Having spent the previous 7 months bulking up and getting ‘well ‘ard’ to join our Commando Units, we were then told we had to get down to an acceptable weight for parachuting (13 stone I think?). We spent the fortnight before the para course running bloody miles every day, wrapped in woolly scarves and blag bin bags to shed the weight, and eating next to fuck all.
Turned up on the course, all pale and gaunt, to be told that we needn’t have bothered and could have been given an exemption and allowed to jump as fat bastards.
Happy to report that I haven’t been required to leap out of an airplane for over 20 years now, and have steadily amassed a BMI that would necessitate a big fuck off cargo chute if ever the need arose.
Fat boys parachuting: “Last one down is a cissy!”
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Hard knocks and disturbingly bright with it. Have encountered them briefly on exercises – ‘glad we were on the same side’ doesn’t begin to express it.
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