The Merkrons
Reuters reports that Europe’s happiest couple, Emmanuel and Angela Merkron, have renewed their vows at a ceremony in Aachen.
For much of the previous century, the respective French and German branches of the family were locked in a bitter feud that occasionally erupted into outbreaks of extreme violence. The ceremony was aimed at reinforcing the reconciliation between them which has existed since their kiss and make up accord of 1963.
Speaking after the happy event, Mrs Merkron stated that the declaration ‘reinforces the cooperation between us. It will act as the first step towards the creation of a pan-European security organisation across the twenty odd sub-divisions of our multi-national business empire’.
It is fair to say however that joy across the continent has not been unconfined. Opponents argue that the Merkrons aim to create a European monopoly through the operations of their ‘ UnionEuropa’ mega company, thus establishing a choking stranglehold by which to dominate smaller competitors. Estranged family friend Marine Le Pen accused Mr Merkron of anti-competitive practices, claiming that he’d committed ‘an act that borders on treason’, and vowed never to speak to him again.
Small businessman and anti-corporate campaigner Nigel Farage also fumed ‘I didn’t get an invitation to the ceremony, but if I had, I’d have used it to wipe my arse after a shit this morning. The Merkrons want nothing less than to own the whole fucking continent, lock, stock and barrel. I wouldn’t be seen dead with the cunts’. Jacob Rees-Moggster, Managing Director Of GreatBrits Ltd, was just as scathing. ‘This is a marriage of convenience, little more than a sham’, The Moggster stated. ‘Mr Merkron is a puffed up peacock, and this gives him the opportunity to strut about and act like a player, but we all know who really wears the trousers in this relationship’.
The ceremony itself was marred by the appearance outside the town hall of a number of well-wishers clad in bright yellow jackets, who grew boisterous when refused admission to offer best wishes to the happy couple. Best man Jean-Claude Juncker was unavailable for photos of the ceremony, having last been seen in a comatose condition beneath the refreshments table.
Nominated by Ron Knee
Revolting pair of cunts. The World At One have been having a field day with Project Fear today – half the supermarkets writing a letter warning of food shortages and the old bag Buller, former MI5 harpie about her concerns.
It’s time all these European leaders just shut the fuck up, especially Adolf Merkel and “Tony” Macron – and that little Irish pansy – the original Pat on the back.
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Macon obv. stading on the third rung of a stepladder.
Napoleonicunt.
Jean Valfrog won’t be soo feckin keen on cosying up to Hermann the German when Alsace is renamed Elsass…
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They’ve both shot their bolt as far as their own electorates are concerned and cuddling up to one another merely inflames their respective electorates opinion of them.
If it’s possible to have a negative approval rating then Macaroon has surely achieved it!
They should just fuck off now and take May with them! A triumvirate of useless cunts!
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Stop Press! Emmy Boufon Bon Bon should be made aware that Frau Hidler is not a virgin ( as she told him she was )
Bon Bon is eager to consummate the relationship , and is desperately seeking to aquire a penile extension sheath ( with appropriate filling ) at very short notice. Frau Hidler was last seen with Krupps Director Albert Spire attempting tac welds to tighten the knotted flaps.
Meanwhile skeletor is taking lessons on her own xylophone ( her ribcage ) and is practising suitable tunes to mark such a momentous occasion ( The Gteen St Girls I believe )
Good luck with the nuptials bon bon! And I hope those welds hold!
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This pair of cunts are hated by the majority of their own electorate and do not truly represent their wishes on the world stage.
Just like in the UK.
All fucking cunts who will be gone soon, but not unfortunately before they have screwed their people over who must pay the price for their treachery for decades to come.
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Afternoon Willie.
Whatever makes you think Mr Merkron doesn’t represent the Frog’s wishes on the world stage?
https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/907719/Macron-France-vote-to-LEAVE-EU-referendum-Brexit-Brussels-Marr
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Well well RTC ! What a cunt he truly is ! At least Davy boy gave us half a chance !
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‘I know they’d vote to leave so they’re not getting the chance to vote’.
Truly a democrat in the glorious EU tradition.
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Agreed Ron. Macron is the epitome of the word “Cunt”
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Aaah,diddums !
Little Emmanuel sucking his thumb…
A severe spanking over Grossmutti Merkel’s knee is required, I think.
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With a snooter like that he’s surely whiffed at her onion bhaji. The dirty scoundrel.
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Cheeez. Can you imagine the orfspring from those two, the granny shagger and the hairy minged fuhrer? Some deviant macmerk or a cronkel. Keeps trying to rule the world and run away at the same time.
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They are an odd pair of bleeders, but modern politics seems to throw up odd pairings – take Yvette Cooper and Nick Boles: Yvette’s had enough Balls, so now she is thinking of her Boles. I can just picture her stark bollock naked on all fours with her sphincter winking away as naughty Nick aims to take a trip up her back passage. I can see them making pornos – Mangledbum Films present Take It Like A Man. Just hope sugartits remembers the KY jelly and the condoms.
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The Cronkel’s. I like it, Limpy. That’s as far as my approval goes, imagining the logistics of that ruffmuff mingling is just beyond my tolerance!
Types of sexual aids intrigues though. A bit of smoothered saurkraurt around the nips perhaps? Or a snail wondering over the sagging rear valley?
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David Ike would be best man at that one !
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Very amusing, but even more amusing was the fucking spotty, ginger, specy, arse bandit Green MSP on the politics live today.
He had piut out a tweet about Churchill , white supremicist, mass murderer, with clappy hands.
Just have a look at this cunt, Ross Greer, Europe spokesman for the scotish greens….. even without the tweet this guy is a Cunt just for the way he looks.
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Against my better judgement, just googled this bell end, and I so, so hope he was bullied at school.
I know nothing about him, but looking at his photos, you just know that this man (I use the term loosely) is a complete cunt
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Slagging off Churchill eh?
Uncle Adolf would be so proud…
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The wanker looks about 12 years old and should be wearing a spacker badge. Who the fuck votes for a cunt who goes around on a skateboard?
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Those who gave their lives to win the second world war would be massively disappointed to learn that their sacrifice has been used to benefit excrement like Greer.
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What a ginger headed little tosser. Wank Wank Greer as its known in Parliament. Wottacunt.
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This loved-up couple should stick to what they do best:
➡ being a pair of EU Cum-guzzling cunts.
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On the subject of self-obsssed nobodies…
….the Republic of Ireland’s Deputy cunt, Simon Coveney (yes, me neither) has been wittering on about the secret trap,I mean, Backstop:
“Peace and de Good Froiday Agreement are more impaartant than Brexit.”
ERRMMM…No they’re fucking not, dickweed. The independence of the United Kingdom is more important than anything to do with your country. Debating chocolate muffin wrappers is more than your tinpot shitehole. Get fucked.
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At least we can take some small comfort in the fact that, when it comes to politicians, our European friends can produce just as useless a bunch of cunts as us.
I’m pitching an idea to the BBC…….The Eurovision Cunt Contest.
Compered by Gary Taxdodger of course.
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Piers Morgan is not someone I normally take any notice of, but I see he has published a tweet calling Ross Greer MSP a “Thick Ginger Turd” because of his cheap lefty dig at Churchill.
Go Piers, Go!
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Greer is a right wee shitehouse (if I may borrow that insult from my Scots born missus).
Afternoon all.
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I see Olivia Coleman is fighting for justice. On two fronts. Syrian children and that her age be accurate on Wikipedia. Did she get an Oscar recently? Thoroughly deserved I am sure. Such a busy woman you must be. I wonder if it’s a requirement for these that do TV appeals that they have to be copper plated cunts? Eddie fucking Izzard. That cunt who played Brian Clough. And this cow. Yeah, distessing pictures of starving Syrian children and a cunt insinuating you’re a cunt because you don’t fucking care enough (like we do), that you don’t know (like we do) what’s really happening in the big wide world. That this is the Reality for many people in the world. And you you thick vote-Leaving scum you live in tiny little world and you’re a racist cunt and fuck Syrian children it’s you I am addressing because I hate you and what you stand for. Yes, I recall a shot now-such elegance she displayed on the red carpet.
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Just think how much better those Syrian children’s lives would be if rich overpaid actor cunts gave all their money away to fund aid programs.
Don’t hold your breath kiddies…
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They could also lead by example and take two or three into their own very grand homes to put a roof over their heads, just like that top bloke Benecunt Cumbercunt did… didn’t he?
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I’ve been saying ever since the first Live Aid in 1985, or whatever year it was, that if Geldof and McCartney and Bono, and now latterly McGregor and Sheen and Hiddleston, and all the rest of the fucking showbiz virtue signallers, gave everything they have above a quarter of a million, and everything they earn each year above a quarter of a million, they wouldn’t have to keep doing annoying adverts on the telly asking folk on minimum wage to give three quid a month.
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Labour luvvie Bill Nighy and his sneering vocal delivery was the first of this nauseating breed to bring my piss to the boil!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i7GuX6FXzYU
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Bill Nighy is the most shit actor going.
Never seen him in anything decent, or portraying anyone outside his obvious comfort zone. Totally unconvincing.
An appallingly untalented tedious man who has more talent in his little finger than the rest of his body put together.
Fuck knows how he ever made it onto our screens.
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Feck orf, Nonentitighy…
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Bugger.. ‘this page is protected to prevent vandalism’
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Emmanuel ‘Msr. Punch’ Merkron really has a way of making friends and influencing people. After pissing off millions of his own countrymen, leading to civil unrest, he claimed that Brexit had torn Britain in two, and ‘could not be delivered’. Now he’s engaged in a war of words with Italy’s Deputy Prime Ministers.
My hero.
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I love the Italians ! I love little French upstart Presidents who gob off at the Eyeties , believing they will come off best. No they fucking won’t !
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Always scares me when a bloke marries a woman old enough to be his mother She must be one hell of a shag because She’s no looker ?
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Still He’s got civil unrest every Saturday to look forward to So much for Brexit tearing Britain apart sort your own Country out first before trying to run ours George has spoken
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Absolute tosser Willie. If I find out that he’s in something I know not to watch. But the really terrible thing about him is he’s married to Diana Quick. The Joe Jackson song-‘Is she really going out with him’ comes to mind. I loved Diana Quick. She was described as ‘the most beautiful woman in the world’ round the time of Brideshead Revisited. In which she played Julia brilliantly. And she chose him. No accounting for taste. Diana Quick and her prick.
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No probs Miles, her pretty face will soon be going to hell, if it hasn’t gone already…
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Yes RT. Probably gone. Loved Koo Stark, Madelaine Smith as well. Terrible to see Madelaine Smith old.
That cunt Sheen. WARNING!!! WARNING!!!! antisemitic alert with his vile comedienne wife or girlfriend Silverman. And they all wear T-shirts. And are a bit haggard looking, unshaven like him. It’s pretending that they THEMSEVES are the aid workers. They have being doing the hard work. They have got their ‘hands dirty’. That’s the impression- Its done as if they’ve just come back from these places. In fact I think they do say ‘I have just come back from…’and they look exhausted. And I bet they stayed in the best hotel and really their ‘commitment’ amounted to a weekend stop over.
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Macon obv. stading on the third rung of a stepladder.
Napoleonicunt.
Jean Valfrog won’t be soo feckin keen on cosying up to Hermann the German when Alsace is renamed Elsass…
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