Broken down Skodas on the M25.
40 minutes delay after Heathrow tonight. Wanted to ram the fucked into the hard shoulder. Buy a better car you cunts.
East European cars are pish should be banned from motorways at peek time.
End of you cunters
Nominated by Cuntancurous
Not to be a pedantic cunt here (well, a bit), but is this really the level of cunting that ahould be published on these hallowed pages?
And indeed, not to sound ungrateful, but the above cunting is barely written in English with an impressive lack of punctuation.
Doubtless I should get off my petty arse and write a better and more concise cunting, but still…
18
We have a couple of new admins working their arses off and finding their feet so let’s cut some slack.
But you are right to some extent in that just because it’s nominated there is no compulsion to post it.
8
To be fair, I think that this nom. is the outpouring of a man stuck in traffic while the Police stand around farting about when they should just push the fucking thing off the road and be done with it. I sometimes see them block off the carrigeways when it;s just some minor dunch….again,just push the Cunt off the road and let people go about their business. I also feel the same way about Wankers who jump of a bridge into the road,or something,and hold people up.
Fuck them.
10
Actually Thomas this is a worthy cunting.
As someone who does the neck-end of 1,000 clicks a week – and I’m not a driver, this is commuter miles – I can attest that cunts like this, and especially the 7-seater Toyota Lucida brigade that usually end up on the hard shoulder with a rake of bin bag and bedsheets stood beside them, cost me hours a week nowadays because they invariably break down in “smart” (thick) motorways sections where there is no hard shoulder and are nowhere near the “Emergency Refuge Areas” (which would be appropriate as most of these “peaceful” Africunt types probably claim to be refugees).
If you had a camel you’d make sure it had enough food and water, and would occasionally check it’s feet for damage, stones, etc.
However checking if a car has oil, water and decent tyres…nah, does not compute.
A mechanic I knew in Milton Keynes told me that these cunts turn up with fucked engines because the oil or engine coolant has eventually run out. Looking at the log book it usually reveals that the last time the vehicle saw a service was when Mr Smith or Jones last owned it 4yrs earlier.
They then try to haggle on the price twice to fix it: once when they are given an itemised list of parts and labour and again when they come to pick it up, mysteriously one or two hundred quid shy of the amount (all cash those “peaceful” cunts, so Mr Taxman sees none of while the infidel pays for their brood), so they can do the “all the money I have” story. Cunts!
In fact the mechanic used to quote extortionate amounts to bedsheet wearer’s so that they would fuck off but not go crying to the race relations/mainly “peaceful” council for not being served.
He didn’t want their business because whatever the fuck happened to their vehicle subsequently would be the mechanic’s fault. I.e. the cunt has a diesel turbo changed and goes back a week later because a main beam bulb has blown. Yes shit like that does happen.
Utter fucking untrustworthy cunts!
He deals with Pikey’s in the same way. Good man!
7
Fair point. I never checked the spell check. So I’m a cunt. I’ll pull up my cunting socks for you cunts.
3
Skoda are part of the Volkswagen / Audi group, you daft cunt.
7
I’m a bit pissed off with Skoda. My old motor is progressively rusting away and I like the look of the Skoda Yeti.
So what happens? The cunts stop making it!
4
Even that bellend Clarkson said that the Yeti was good.
4
Given he likes the Octavia Scout as well I think he has a bit of a soft spot for Skoda.
2
Fucking German cunt mobiles overrated piles of cack. Like the iPhone they do their job adequately but not as well as other brands but marketing hype and some mysterious form of attainment hysteria makes them the car/phone to own. Strange.
5
Being a cunt, I think that the olden days skoda estelles, like the one in the photo, were great. It’s new new ones I don’t like.
4
Weren’t you booted Phillip?
3
Oh come on opinionated cunt, leave brian eno’s brother alone FFs what did he do that was so bad anyways
2
Tried to have a go at antagonising me on the most recent Dead Pool.
1
He’s hopped IPs. Took him a while looking at the log in attempts so we blocked him again. And if he does make it through on a new proxy IP address, he’s automatically binned.
So just fuck off, Eno, and stop wasting your time and ours. You won’t win.
Then again, if you’re blocked you won’t be able to read this 😉
3
I don’t believe that today’s Skoda is any more or less reliable than a VW/Audi or most other bits of Euro-tin that pound the motorways daily.
There are cheaper cars on today’s forecourts than the Skoda, e.g. Kia, Hyundai and Dacia. Due to many components now being made by third party ISO accredited companies, reliability of modern cars is far greater than it was in yesteryear.
In this case it could have been a simple case that the car had run out of fuel? Do we know why it had broken down?
I hate to wield the mighty invalidator on this cunting, but I fail to see it has any real merit?
8
I think you are right – I read that circa 3/4 of motorway ‘breakdowns’ are idiots running out of fuel.
I always wonder wtf when I am tanking up and see all those who stick £10 of gas in the car – you are not getting too far on that in London.
2
in 1989 I was in an RTA in belgium where my mate totaled his opel cadet on the autobahn, we had to hitch from gwent to dover (another story).
Any way about 5 days later I got a call from him saying he had a new car and I was ok for a lift back to Germany.
The day arrived and he turned up in a red skoda favorit (which actually means damage in polish) he bought the car for £200 and it was an F reg so quite a deal despite the brand of the car.
However the interior was shagged, the upholstery and sponge in the seats was fucked.
after some questioning on the journey it appears that the original owner had upset someone who then forced the sun roof open and had filled the car up with horse shit.
so my mate and his dad spent his leave shoveling shit out of the car and pressure washing it.
Not a bad car for £200 plus at least £80 of free horse shit for the garden thrown in.
6
it was a skoda garde sorry.
2
Are we talking air cooled rear engined old Skodas or the modern versions which are just Volkswagens for tightwads?
6
Yeh the old Skodas looked like a builders skip only difference being there was a higher level of finish and equipment on the skip, Powered by an engine offering the fucking performance of a hairdryer it was a truly diabolical machine that I’m sure people only bought as it was marginally better than public transport…
The new skodas are completely different since VW Audi got involved, a friend of mine works in the trade and had a VRS estate for a week or two, I had a drive and was pretty impressed with finish and performance, the only problem for many would be the badge!
10
According to the daily mail, a man has been arrested in Malawi for raping a goat. He claims he asked it’s permission before fucking it. I bet it was underage as well, the dirty cunt.
14
A definite kid fiddler then
10
When I’ve learnt to drive my ideal car would be either a Ford Focus or Fiesta. Bit pricey but they’re the cliche first cars for a reason.
4
I see you more in a Fiat Cinquecento, O.P…. https://youtu.be/4TlyIZlF_Fw
🙂 .
3
Ho ho, yes indeed.
All young fellas should be forced to have a wank car as their first, none of this poncing around in a new car because they have a rich father.
I assume you had a piece of shit when you were 17, Mr F?
I had a 1.1 mk1 Fiesta which me and an apprentice mechanic mate put an XR2 engine in…’twas fucking sweet for a 17 year old.
5
Oh, I’ll be getting it second hand of course. There’s a nice used automatic Focus I found on one of the local car sites for 6k – probably won’t be there by the time I’ve learnt and passed but that’s the kind of thing I want to go for if I really save up. Only thing I’m really sure of is that I want to fund the entire cost of it on my own.
4
Fuck me backwards, OC!
6k on a first car?! You mind if I ask how old you are?
If I may offer a snippet of middle-aged fart advice, and as a chap who has owned over 100 cars of every type ranging from utterly brilliant to utterly shite?
Spend no more than a grand on an ’04 plate Toyota Corolla.
Older Toyotas are fantastic. 4 years ago, I went from an 08 plate BMW 7 series (I think I got a Friday afternoon car, it was fucking awful) to a 1997 Toyota Carina, which cost £250 and I still have and drive 80 miles almost daily. In 4 years and 55k miles, nothing has gone wrong. Just routine maintenance needed.
I just turned down an offer of a grand for it from a work colleague!
Save your money, OC.
5
Early 20s but because I’ve always been really good at saving my money I figure I might have a bit of wiggle room regarding what I can afford.
2
Automatic Focus? If it’s one of the older ones, it’ll be thirsty and costly to run. Road tax twice that of a manual. MPG about 35. Think carefully.
4
My first car was an Austin A40, Mr. C-E, which my Father bought for me to learn to drive in around the fields. I was about 11, I think. My first road car was a Vauxhall Viva that lasted about a week before coming to rest at a jaunty angle amongst some roadside beech trees. If it wasn’t totally fucked before we pulled it out with the tractor,it certainly was after.
6
Haven’t seen a Viva in years! Although I do work with a fellow who has a rarer than hen’s teeth Vauxhall Firenza Droopsnoot.
He has a lisp.
4
I used to like the old cars when you could do a lot of the work on them yourself. Now everything seems to be computer controlled.
One of the lads who worked on the farm when I first started out used to be really good about showing me how to do most jobs on a succession of old bangers that I used to buy. Nowadays I’m almost wary of even changing the filters,never mind anything else.
3
I’ve always gone for fords as a family car. Taught myself a reasonable level of mechanics over the years so I can do most general work .rebuilt the front end of our 2007 focus after the missus parked it in a ditch. The beauty of fords is that parts are so easy to get hold of and the scrap yard is a gold mine.
The total cost of rebuilding the focus was genuinely £75.
That included lower control arm, inner tie rod, bonnet, off side wing, front bumper, slam panel, reinforcing frame, radiator, radiator support bar, air con hoses, front grill and underneath weather panels. Had to pay full whack for two bottles of antifreeze .
Two weekends out of her way whilst doing it. Bonus
On the other hand I have a T5 vw transporter for my business.
Bought it in 2011 at 3 months old with 10,000 on the clock.
It’s a fucking monster. 180,000 miles. 1 replacement wheel bearing so far. Goes like a fucking train.
Personal tip OC.
Do not buy anything french.
6
Remind me to close my bedroom curtains just in case Cuntacurous is outside the house at peek time. I drive a Skoda Fabia. Reliable, comfortable and reasonably priced so fuck off. As Mr Fiddler says blame the motorway wooly suits (credit – Ian Rankin) for not shifting the car and not the car itself. And agree Mr Fiddler. I used to strip and decoke my Escort MK2 in my garage. No computers needed. It used to go like snot off a stick.
5
Wtf is wrong with that tire?! looks deep fried or something keep it away from a scotsman lol
7
OK on closer inspection its looks like a log , original post still stands tho but thats what I get for having wine and hash for brekkie
3
The VW Skodas are ok, a lot better than the old Red Rust motors if you can find one still running. They are all versions orf the krautmobiles and share most parts with them. Now here is the gimmick, whilst the Checho cunts are cheaper to buy than VWs, official servicing and parts are pricier. Obvious answer if a Skoda part needed then buy from VW. In practice VW staff are told not to sell for Skoda use. The same part will have two different part numbers depending on which make it is for and VW will not sell parts for a Checho motor. Scrappies pretty knowledgeable on all this as are some orf the lads (unofficially) behind the counter at Euro Car Spares.
Various internet sites will list VW spares and part nos that fit Checho versions but do not let orn it’s for a Skoda if you want to buy from an authorised dealer. High end stuff like ECUs although identical will be digitally locked to one brand or t’other and sell at different eye watering prices. Bastard all roinde.
3