Meaningless Words and Phrases

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Meaningless Words and Phrases
I passed a site yesterday where work to construct six townhouses has begun. They’re  described as ‘luxury’ townhouses, presumably to try to fool the public into believing that they’re somehow inherently superior to the ticky-tack rabbit hutches that are the norm these days. ‘Luxury’. It’s one of those words and phrases that have become so devalued by overuse as to render their purpose effectively meaningless. ‘Luxury’ one hour car valet, ‘luxury’ wallpaper, ‘luxury’ cruise, ‘luxury’ fucking bog roll, all priced at ‘just…’, or ‘from as little as…’.

There’s a BMW showroom near to me that’s offering  models with ‘executive’ licence plates. As an add-on, you can have a plate that reads ‘PR1CK’, to announce to the world that it’s possible for a BMW driver to be an even bigger cunt than anyone thought possible. ‘Executive’ luggage, ‘executive’ lounge, ‘executive’ apartment…
Bought any washing up liquid or shampoo recently? I bet that it’s ‘new’, ‘improved’, ‘best ever’, even better than last month’s ‘best ever’. You wouldn’t want that ‘ordinary’ stuff. Perhaps it was advertised ‘as seen on tv!!’, history’s most meaningless endorsement.

Mostly such debasement is merely irritating, but in recent years, it’s taken on a more sinister overtone in social and political matters, where ‘ic’s and ‘ist’s are now hurled about with gay abandon. If you don’t avidly espouse the cause of some group or other, you must be transphobic, homophobic, misogynistic or whatever. If you’re worried about levels of immigration or you’re anti EU, you’re obviously Islamophobic or xenophobic, and a racist and fascist to boot. Zealots have used this tactic to cow people into silence and thus gain control of the agenda. Ironically, such persistent, consistent usage over time means that the terminology has devalued to the point where it’s lost its power to intimidate, and is now widely regarded as cant.

I could go on, but to quote the late, great John Major, that would ‘over-egg the fucking pudding’. So I’ll close with my current favourite meaningless phrase, to wit, the ‘people’s vote’; no, let’s utilise one last meaningless phrase, and make that ‘the so-called people’s vote’. Let’s have another vote on EU membership because as we all know, the last one was purely for gerbils.

 

Nominated by Ron Knee

89 thoughts on “Meaningless Words and Phrases”

  2. Great cunting ron.
    I’d like to add “religion of peace” to the list.
    And “liberals”. And “tolerant”.
    As we all know, tolerant liberals are illiberal and intolerant and the religion of peace murders more people that all the others put together….

    • Owen Jones keep repeating LGBT like a fucking parrot and Steptoe and his pals constantly repeating “for the many not the few” (which he got from Anthony Blair if I recall right)

      and the DFS cunts always repeating “Half Price Sale”

      Wankers.

    • Thanks DS.
      Great to see others contributing their hates on this one, cos it really boils my piss. Another one I didn’t really think I had room to include in the cunting is ‘real’, as in made with ‘real’ wood, ‘real’ cream, ‘real’ leather… As opposed to what? ‘Unreal’ wood?
      How long before some cunt’s claiming that something’s made with ‘real’ plastic?

  3. I can honestly say that most of what you have described washes over me entirely because, as you say, it’s utterly meaningless. It’s one reason I don’t watch, or even notice, advertising.

  4. Absolutely spot on. Useless terms mean nothing but tell us more about the owners or salespersons of product or item being peddled.

    Identifying the requirement to fall into the ‘right on bro/sis/non binary/fluid’ camp or risk being vilified as Satan, Hitler and Savile rolled into one is one evil that must be resisted at all times. It is one of the evils of those abusing genuine free speech.

    • Yea “far right” seems to be the favourite meaningless term used lately…
      Far right used to mean white supremisist kkk types, now it just refers to anyone to the right of Owen Jones.

      • Beauty! I’m trying to start a campaign to revive that 80s expression ‘loony left’ and get it back in vogue.

      • Nowadays we call them “NPC’s” or “Non-playable characters”. Referring to the background characters within video games that are unplayable, and at best, will continually and incessantly repeat the same 1 or 2 lines of dialogue that they were scripted to say whenever you attempt to interact with them.
        Seems it really hits a nerve with them when they are called so too, thus the NPC meme that has now taken off, like such.

      • The “Big Question” this morning (yes i know its a load of snowflake bullshit) “should we be affraid of the rise of the far right”

        Usual thing some peaceful crying over hate of Islam, a few snowflakes condemning Tommy R.

        Then we have an historian…. Use of the term far right is too broad and calling people fascist or racist for expressing reservations about immigration or Islamic terrorists is wrong….. he said Tommy R is not a fascist.

        One woman, some organisation , Britain first i think said she had every right to denounce Islam as evil ….. that went down well with the Crowd lol!

        Long live multiculturalism – I am sure if we knew 70 years ago what we know now there wouldn’t be 4 million Muslims in the UK.

      • I suppose we should not be worried as the awful right is a long way away or something right? It must because it’s far right. Bollocks back to the bottle.

  5. I have to say, having less posts a day really seems to be working in terms of generating a higher quality and depth of discussion.

    • “higher quality”?…..just wait until I get started on the Bushmills, O.C, I’ll sharp put a stop to any of that nonsense.

    • Agreed. Four a day’s been suggested as a norm to try to create a balance between depth of discussion and waiting time for posts given sheer volume of noms in the queue.
      Sounds good to me.

      • I’d stick to three. Good comments on manipulation and thought control Ron. My place was described as a townhouse. No it isn’t, it’s an end terraced. One of three. Nicely set back off the road and tucked into a corner, yes, but it’s a terraced. Mind you, when I come to sell it, it’ll probably become a townhouse again.

    • Yes but it’s giving some cunters sufficient time to show what erudite thinkers they are.

      Which is fine but I like my scorn and abuse rough and unadorned.

      Good morning…!

  6. “Contemporary Indian Cuisine”

    Usually cooked by Bangled Dishies or Parking Stanleys.

    Discuss.

    Goodbye for now.

  7. Today’s meaningless phrase:

    ‘Government gaming the introduction of martial law in case of a no-deal Brexit’
    (Sunday Times based on Whitehall sources)
    Has there ever been more gibberish spouted by Whitehall Remoaners who are concerned about ‘crashing out’ over a ‘cliff edge’ into no-deal ‘chaos’ and ‘stockpiling’ food, fuel and medicines in case of ‘civil disorder’ ‘on the streets’.
    What a bunch of cunts.

    • We survived wartime shortages, and unless I am mistaken, rationing went on on some items until 1956 ?

  8. The phrase “Gayly frollicking with my chums” lacks the charm that it used to have.

    Fuck Off.

  9. I hope that this meaningless phrase, which sticks in my gizzard, is ephemeral:

    “It is what it is.”

    Fuckwit language.

    • I usually hear the useless “it is wot it is” where someone is abrogating their responsibility where the inconvenience, cost or penalty falls upon others.

      Yes you dull myopic sluggard, if you had even aromatherapy levels of intelligence, imagination, competence or humanity you’d FUCKING FIX IT.

      Did I mention it boils my piss?

  10. Anyone who knows Huntingdon will know that it is not exactly overflowing with “executives” in the true meaning of the word., yet it’s current house build suggests that every fucking cretin from the fens is eligible for such a property.
    Alconbury and Bramton ( formerly USAF and RAF, are now executive cities for discerning people of taste. ( excludes me then )

    As I navigate the charity shops and big issue sales of the High St. , I find little evidence of superior skills and intellect.

  11. Oh, and ‘10% off’. Off fucking what?? And notes pinned up when the shop’s closed saying ‘back in 15 minutes’. Starting fucking when??

    • Presented on a rustic wood serving dish.

      Chopping board. It’s a fucking chopping board, you hipster douchebagel.

    • If said dough was manipulated by the bakers testicles whilst being showered with pixi flour and after proving for a second time glazed with the tears of a virgin unicorn then resulting bread could possibly be given the title artisan.
      If some geezer makes the bread with his hands like I do then its just bread, plain old bread.

  13. Corporate speech deserves to be banned. Phrases like “it´s not rocket science”, “we don´t need to reinvent the wheel”, “thinking outside the box” and “think local, act global” make me want to scream. Some years ago I was involved in a business project in which the director – an American Chinese woman –never asked people if they agreed with something but if they were “comfortable” with it.

    “Sure I feel really comfortable about having to get together a spreadsheet covering 30 years of cash flow projections plus a 50-slide Powerpoint presentation within next 90 minutes for your perusal. I know it´s not rocket science and we don´t have to reinvent the wheel and I will definitely think outside the box while also thinking locally but acting globally. You stupid Orwellian bitch!”

    Well I didn´t actually say the last sentence or she would have fired me.

    • My most hated piece of Corpspeak when I was at work was when some senior management cunt promised the plebs that he’d ‘take that on board’ re. some grievance or contentious issue. You knew that he’d have forget the matter the second he was through the door.

  14. Top cunting.

    ‘Executive’ is one the yanks started over-using, so of course we had to;
    ‘Executive chef’ instead of head chef, and sales ‘executives’ who make less than £18,000 a year selling wanky tat and cold-calling scared pensioners.

    I like M&S food but the amount of ‘luxury’ they slap on mundane food is daft. Luxury chicken and ham pies?

    Add gastro- to the list.

    Gastric -relating to the stomach

    Stomach pub? Stomach pump.

    Lastly, ‘Contemporary’. Of the same time. Pretty meaningless used on its own, Kevin McCloud, you cunt.

    • Gastro- has always given me the shits.
      Ex used to work in NHS, always said the same.
      Bollox.
      Gastro-intestinal , D&V, (kebeb shops)…, the squitters

  16. Road signs near local Army Ranges warn of ‘Sudden’ Gunfire. Not quite sure what the other options are.

    May have dropped out of fashion slightly, but during the early days of the painful Brexit non-process there was a lot of talk of “kicking the problem down the road”, “kicking things into the long grass” and “holding peoples’ feet to the fire”.

    Aggressive political hyperbole, for sure, but I for one would like to see some of the cunts involved actually given a proper shoeing or being tortured with flames.

    Just saying.

  17. Craft and artisan are the two that get me the most. Craft beer by Brewdog, sold in every fucking supermarket and they are bigger than most brewers now. Mass marketing of hybrid insipid lager/pale ale piss water is their Punk IPA.

    But it’s better than the big breweries. No it’s not. I don’t want beer to taste of fucking pine and grapefruit and leave my mouth drier than a nun’s fanny.

    Craft/artisan means we’ll charge you more for something of not necessarily better quality!

    • Ive tried brewdog’s offerings. I think most of their ale tastes of Stella with added bleach.

    • I was staying in London recently, and nearly every pub was selling this “craft” shite. It all tastes the same; like fucking dishwater. The beardy hipster cunts were all over it. Have they never tasted proper beer?

    • Brewdog beers are a load of underbrewed bollocks. I had a bottle of gluten free Brewdog recently – it was too strong on the barley, made me wince with every mouth full and took too much effort and time to polish off. Drinking a bottle of beer is meant to be both enjoyable and effortless.

  18. Excellent cunting, Sir Knee.

    Gotta laugh when I browse the aisles of the wondrous spectacle that is ‘Poundland’ with certain items labelled as ‘Luxury’……you know it all just a pile of Chinese shite made at the mammoth cost of 2p.

    It is like ‘Luxury Toilet Tissue’. What the actual fuck? Has it got gold leaf woven through it and was it hand quilted by a blind Albanian seamstress?

    It sure ain’t ‘luxury’ anymore once it has had an arse attached to it.

    It is all bollockery. Putting some extraneous word on a packet doesn’t make me more inclined to buy it. That wholly depends on whether my back balance is crying out for mercy or not (usually it is of course)

    CUNTERY.

    • I do lots of online surveys to supplement my meagre income of fuck all, and I get loads of them asking my opinion of different food packaging. I always point out that the packaging is irrelevant as I’m not going to eat it, just the contents. As far as I’m concerned they can put everything in brown paper bags with the contents written on in crayon, then cut the fucking price of it.

      • Forgot to add that I also point out that if they put the contents in see-through packaging they wouldn’t need to put an expensive photo on the front of it.

      • Totally with you on that, moggie.

        I do the YouGov surveys. They are a load of tedious cunt and ask the same questions over and over, usually about what bloody coffee shops you frequent and whether you like certain adverts or not. My favourite questions are the political ones though and when they ask how I think Sadiq Cunt is doing…..it gives me the opportunity to vent and say that I think he is a useless wanker.

        It only takes about a million poxy surveys to collect 5000 points and get a £50 bank deposit, but on I plow with it.

        Yep, packaging is pure bollocks. I couldn’t give a bugger what a food is in. If it appeals to my taste buds it could be put inside a colostomy bag for all I care (an unused one of course)

      • My wife is still a member and gets paid every 6 months or so but I stopped about 2 years ago since it took that long for me to get £50. Also got really pissed off with the bias in the answers that meant I could never say what I REALLY thought, they were simply designed to elicit the answer that whoever was funding the survey wanted to hear.

  19. And another thing ………………

    Over elaborate job descriptions. No-one is a bin man or cleaner any more. Contestant on the pointless show Pointless the other evening described his job as “Building Services Management Engineer”. (ie Janitor in old money).

    ‘Nuther one said he was a ‘Global Business Development Executive’.

    “That’s nice”, says Armstrong, “it must involve a lot of travel; where have you been lately?”

    “Oh, not far really” says cunty, “I do Telesales from a call centre in Romford”.

  20. Great cunting, literally, right, we are all singing from the same hymn sheet.

    Glad to se we are on the same page.

  21. I was in this chippie once ( in Scotland so it might be a Jock thing ) one of those where you can sit down like a proper restaurant. I looked at the menu and it said “real fish.” I asked the waitress what that was.
    She said “fresh fish, not frozen.”
    So, I said “does anyone ever ask for unreal fish?”
    She looked at me as if I was a cunt. “English arsehole” she was thinking.
    Oh, am I allowed to say “waitress” or is that part of the lexicon of patriarchal hegemony?

    • Drunk American women will yell ‘seeerrvver’ at you from the audience. One comedian had the misfortune to use ‘waitress’ in front of an audience of drunk, white, middle-class American women and, of course, got told off.

  23. I don’t think you cunters are on the same page as these bullshitters who dress up their verbal diarrhea as inane verbiage.

    They’re not trying to boil the ocean you know!

    Let’s hook up to discuss further. Ping me a FaceCunt invite and I’ll get right back to you.

    Delivery is a must, failure is not an option.

    That’s great guys, good work.

    Ciao.

  24. I must say that I enjoyed putting this subject up for cunting; the one thing that frustrated me was having to limit the amount of words and phrases I included, other wise I’d have gone on for ages. I’ve been dribbling a few more in as we’ve gone along.
    Please now allow me to add fucking ‘vulnerable’ to the list, as in ‘vulnerable’ migrants or refugees, ‘vulnerable’ patients, ‘vulnerable’ pensioners, ‘vulnerable women’ etc etc.Then there are those pesky fuckers the ‘critics’, as in ‘but critics of the move claim…’.
    Fucking hell, I could rant on this one for yonks…

  25. Another superbly acerbic cunting Ron. You are clearly on a roll this month!

    I’m suffering a dose of Manflu, so for now I’ll just contribute the tried and tested ‘Artisan’ (see recent ISAC) and ‘Barista’ (ie waitress)…..and that gormless ‘’mouth open” waste of space Olivia Coleman.

    • Thanks Isaac.
      If any cunt tries to use that well known phrase on you and suggests you ‘man up’ tell em to fuck off. It’s another cunt on my list.
      Get yourself a brandy toddy and get well soon!

    • -Let’s action it.

      Pardon? Why are you using a noun as a verb?

      -Ha ha, okay but you’ll need to evidence that.

      Evidence is a noun.

      -Hey, you’re really impacting this meeting.

      You’re a cunt.

      • You can bet those daft Yanks are responsible for nouns as verbs, Cap’n.
        To medal, to diarise… it’s a cunting in itself.

  28. A gold level cunting. A fucking insane piece of state the obvious I saw several years ago, was a box of McCain’s Micro Chips with a label on the box, saying “made from real potatoes”. Well fuck me wet with a paint roller. I always thought they were made from wooden potatoes? What kind of spastic drooler thinks of these advertisements? What’s next…cordless parachutes?

    • Great stuff. With ref. to stating the blindingly obvious, a few years ago I was on an internal flight with Southwest Airlines in the States. I ordered a drink and was given a packet of salted peanuts with it. On the side of the packet was written ‘ warning; this product contains peanuts’.
      As you say, fuck me wet with a paint roller.

  30. “Caution: Steep Steps Ahead Only: No Spastics Allowed.

    “Keep Out. Filming in Progress for Scat Fetish: The Movie. Enquiries to Takashit Inmemooth”.

    “Danger: 150ft Drop (Dead Victims Will be Prosecuted)”.

    “Notice: No Wanking in Restroom (Nobody Wants to Mop Your Yellowing Jizz)”

    “Warning: Do Not Feed The Lions. They Will Fuck You Up”.

    “If You Encounter a Black Bear: Shit Bricks and Build a Wall”.

    “Deep Heat: Senior Citizens or Spastics: Do Not Mistake This For Your Pile Cream. You Will Regret it”.

    “Free Courtesy Car: Please Note: Do Not Smear Shit on the Steering Wheel. It Is Antisocial”.

    “Think: Do Not Use Your Genitals to stop a Chainsaw Blade”.

    “Warning: Microwave: Do Not Dry Your Toddler In This Appliance”.

    “Tyre Sealant: Not Approved For Rectal Use”.

    “Caution. Blind People: Please Observe This Warning Sign”.

    “Notice: Danger of Death and More Serious Health Risks”.

    “Caution: Do Not Jump from this Steeple (Pressure Washers are Expensive)”.

    “Advice: All Deaf Citizens: Press the Button & Listen to the Beeps Before the Gate Opens”.

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