Green Tea Drinkers
When doing the office tea rounds I have noticed a disturbing number of colleagues requesting a cup of this muck as opposed to the standard British cup of tea.
It is a sad state of affairs when British people start opting for a mug of this stomach bile rather than a ‘put the kettle on’ and have a good old brew (spoonful of sugar if you like) with a dash of milk.
Who the fuck would want to drink this shit? Just looks like a cup of hot water that has gone stagnant and bred algae. Smug cunts that drink this shit think that they are going to live forever by flushing all the toxins out of their bodies after a weekend of debauchery.
Stop being a silly cunt and have a proper cup of tea.
Nominated by Janette Krankie’s Hairy Cunt
These cunts are probably in denial, not wanting to be associated with anything British and/or historically related to our Colonial past!
As a consequence they’re probably remoaner hipster cunts and their holier than thou attitude to the lesser plebs in the office/factory floor.
I wonder if they hold their little pinkie up in the air while drinking that liquefied moss shite?
Cunts – hope they choke!
11
I remember this shit from when I went to China. Every fucker was carrying a jam jar of the crap. First thing they always did in a restaurant was fill your teacup. Disgusting stuff, smells like piss.
Thought someone here had nominated Cultural Relativism but couldn’t find it. Either I’m misremembering or the various psychotropic drugs Dick slips into my drinks when I stay over at Fiddler Towers have addled my brain. Anyway, here’s some thoughts…
https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2019/01/28/quote-of-the-day-63/
4
People who drink Green tea are pretentious Wankers.
I,of course,only drink loose-leaf Darjeeling tea which I brew for precisely 6 minutes in my sterling silver Queen Anne tea-pot before pouring a tiny drop of milk from my matching silver milk jug into my bone-china tea-cup with matching saucer,decorated with a vivid hunting scene. I then pour my tea through a tea-strainer before enjoying with a Bath Oliver biscuit.
People who use tea-bags or drink “tea” out of a mug while having a “choccy” biscuit have no manners or breeding.However, they are still preferable to those ridiculous Farts who hope to impress people who couldn’t dive a Fuck, by drinking Green Teas or fruit Teas.
Get Fucked.
14
An illusion shattered. Always imagined you as thrice stewed, stand a teaspoon up in it Yorkshire Tea sort of chap with a harshly stained, chipped enamel tin mug!
9
That is actually worryingly accurate, GOC. Have you been peeping through my kitchen window?
🙂 .
6
darjeeling is shitty bath water, orange pekoe for me please.
4
What the fuck?… You’re supposed to warm the pot first! I despair.
This country is finished.
Morning Dick….. 🙂
6
I bet you’ve a lovely knitted tea cosy for your teapot Mr Fiddler. In the shape of a small animal…maybe a squirrel or a frog?
4
Nothing as twee as that , Miles. This is my tea-cosy…….
https://goo.gl/images/c5R9bJ
5
A bearded woman! Miles will cream his long-johns.
3
I used to wear long-Johns RT. Until Mrs Plastic forbad them. It was ‘painful’ for her to witness. I thought I looked rather ‘fetching’. She has no taste.
3
I can’t be doing with tea leaves. Tried them a few months ago and they kept getting everywhere. Tea bags all the way for me.
1
I spilt my Earl grey (hot) reading this. Good old Dick giving me a good chuckle!
2
I can stomach green tea to some degree, it’s generally the wankstains who drink it I object to, especially in public.
If I were to indulge in such cuntery it would be blinds down and doors locked like any good old fashioned self respecting weirdo would.
5
Beverages are a sore point for me, Tea should be made with tea leaves in a pot (then I will drink it) Coffee I compromise on, ideally from a cafetiere, turkish (black) or my placebo 1 spoon of instant 2 sugars and milk “Please”.
I cant stan costa coffee republic or any of the bullshit artisan places where people add there “twist” to an overpriced cup of hot water.
5
I had the misfortune of having to endure a Costa Coffee during a recent hospital visit. After scanning the wankery of choices on the wall, I looked at the server in despair and said “I’d just like a white coffee please!”.
“Oh”, she replied, “you want a flat white”.
“White”, OK but where the fuck does “flat” come into it?!
7
That’d be the surface of the drink. Also the server’s head.
8
Green tea is the drink of choice for utter cunts.
6
I must admit I like an earl grey am I a cunt.
3
Yes, and I’m even more of a cunt because I like green tea and also drink Lady Grey which a stronger orangey taste than Earl Grey, both with a touch of honey, lovely. Having said that, I normally drink extra strong ‘builder’s’ tea and Douwe Egberts coffee on a daily basis.
5
Would you care to sample my line in boiled piss?
5
I’d give it a try, I’m not proud. I drink things that appeal to my taste. Expensive tea and coffee is wasted on me as I can’t tell the difference and the only way you’d get me to a ‘trendy’ coffee shop is at gunpoint.
4
👍 You and me both Moggie!
3
At the risk of being royally cunted, I actually admit to liking green tea with lemon.
I’ll get my coat…..
7
I’m afraid so cunt tank are us.
0
EG and Lapsang Souchong for me, although I’l gladly drink a mug of builders’.
A slice of lime is nice; I guess that’s what comes of starting to learn Russian at age 12. I’m a fucking closet commie…
I brew my own coffee; Lidl do 1/2 lb. bags of a very good “Italian Blend”, cost me £1-15 today. Not bad.
And Costa USED to be good decades ago when run by Italians; now it’s all mumsy or hipster types, and I cannot abide cake off a white-hot plate.
0
I worked with a woman who drank hot water. Now that out cunts green tea any day.
12
Tea with milk is an abomination. All the farks who yak on about its superiority are like those who claim beer is a fine drink. ALL piss water for the poor plebs to pretend they’re really sophisticated monkeys in top hats.
I remember the first time I tried both. “Tastes like piss water”. Can stomach it, but piss is still piss.
Have some piss with your cornflakes, cunts!
4
As a confirmed coffee drinker – not instant (hateful stuff) and as strong as is possible – I have no real feelings towards our national drink.
I do have a very occasional brew but this is of the ordinary type via a bag. As with my coffee, it remains unpolluted by either milk or sugar.
At work there is a tea “oneupmanship” in progress, where the more exotic, the more kudos the pretentious cunts think they have.
As each new fad crawls around I’m am lured into trying these godawful concoctions and have yet to be bowled over by any of the cunts compared to my “11 on the meter” coffee or ordinary cup Joe from a bag.
Green tea is like drinking a cup of hot water. There is fuck all taste to the cunt. It may work as a kidney/liver flush but so would just drinking water. A pointless waste of electrickery.
Then you have those “fruit teas” which smell lovely but taste like brick acid! “Hmmm, that smells lovely. Apple and blackcurrant you say. Here, let me try a sip…ARGGGHHH!!! ARGGGHHH!!! MY EYES ARE BURNING!!!”
The latest kid on the block is summat called “white monkey tea” (or some bollocks like that). This is worse than green tea because at least green tea gives you the satisfaction of colouring the water. This shit adds neither taste nor colour and the cost of the cunt is eye-watering.
The real piss-take of the bunch however is summat called (and I’m trying to recollect this name from memory) “Lap-dance Two-thongs”. For a few months this was the pretentious “brew at my desk so you can see my performance” brigades go-to char based beverage.
Pretentious oneupmanship aside, it stank like smoked kippers! So returning to the office, after a well earned rolly, was more like entering a Whitby smoke house than a place of work!
Fucking awful stuff! And on that note, the 2nd double-espresso of they day beckons…
5
Green tea tastes fucking horrible but it you drink enough of it, it makes you release your bowels.
….and who doesn’t enjoy a good dump.
10
One large cup of strong breakfast tea prepares me for that pleasure.
3
I thought this site was for “real” men, not discussing tea like the fucking WI
However I read years ago some report in a scientific American that Green tea does have a beneficial effect against alcohol (some may disagree haha)
I drink earl grey no milk
6
Anything that is against alcohol isn’t welcome in my world.
Goodbye for now.
4
It’ll be ‘ My favourite fairy cake is … ‘ next.
Get to fuck.
6
Odd, I was just stuffing my face with one as I got to this post.
4
We’ve got to have the odd simpler subject so that the Little Ladies have something to comment on. I expect that Nurse Cunty’ll be grateful to have something that women are qualified to discuss.
Anyhow,I’m rather doubtful as to the provenance of several of the “real” men on this site.
🙂 .
6
The Bruce scetch from Monty Python come to mind.
1
That sketch was hot enough to boil a monkey’s bum!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNBy1D1Y0h4
1
Not sure it made it clear that there are NO POOFTERS.
1
Strong tea you can stand a spoon up in. Dash of milk and no sugar.
In an oil stained mug with a picture of a Triumph on it.
And green tea is, as Cuntflap rightly says, for hippies and puffs.
“Hippy, terrorist. It’s the same thing” (Eric Cartman).
3
It’s the water drinker I cannot abide. Carrying the bottle round with them all day. Taking a swig constantly. What for? To keep yourself hydrated? But you’re not breaking into a sweat. Obsessed with health they are. Water is tasteless. No taste for life. No, not that. They only taste of life. Don’t really live it.
4
Green tea, yes if it’s a major feature of your life or if you drink it in order to do what you fondly imagine to be Zen. Also bottled water carriers. But my principal cunt in this field is Earl Grey. I have only ever been offered this (and declined) by tossers. Tetley, or Yorkshire, in chipped mug, milk, two sugars, thank you.
2
Just give me a big mug of coffee. I’m not much of a tea drinker. Funby aftertaste and makes me need the piss too often.
The green tea that foodies and fashionistas go on about is the Japanese Matcha. It has to be picked by children in kibuki masks on the foothills of certain prefectures, perhaps the one where those macaque monkeys bathe in the hot springs.
I’m sure that whatever overpriced crap is fashionable in shoreditch hipster cafes makes its way to the eateries around the sussex-surrey villages within months. As long as i don’t see them drinking it from jam jars, no blood will be spilled.
Cunts.
5
A mug if coffee is my choice too, I couldn’t drink tea if you paid me. Since I was persuaded to change my diet, I now make it with 1% fat milk, decaffeinated ground coffee and sweeteners. You get used to it. It’s still better than tea.
1
Did anyone feel that earthquake last night? About 8 O’Clock it was. A tremendous thud .Shook the whole house.
Mrs Plastic said she was watching Dancing on Ice when it happened. Something about Gemma Collins…
8
Yeah, not many “lifts” in *that* routine! 😁
She did however fall during a tricky part of the routine known as “skating in a straight line”… 😂
https://youtu.be/ANpW-OeT8wg
8
Fuck me, that was priceless. The way that repugnant orange blimp hit the frosty stuff was incredible. The way she laid there like a giant slug on a lettuce leaf was comedy gold.
4
Biggest think to hit ice since The Titanic.
6
thing not think
2
Green Tea is for fucking Rupert Bear-trousered hipster cunts who gaze lovingly at their iWank laptops in designer right-on coffee shops. Tastes like Kermit’s piss. Tried a mouthful of this pretentious liquid cunt a while back. Gave me chronic guts ache. I gave some of it to the dog, but it had to lick its arse to get rid of the taste.
5
I don’t care much for green tea either but I think some cunters are over exaggerating their distaste of it. Taste like piss? just what green tea are you bloody drinking?! sure its a tad bitter but most teas are . Lot of proud tea nationalists here I see but dick fiddler is right loose leaf is the way to go its a bit more expensive but worth it
3
Come to think of it I do remember some yucky kinds of greentea some of the instant or cheap gt teabags arre nasty
2
If anyone has some gin, and earl grey on hand i got a recipe to share with you. 1 part simple syrup sugar water basically( you can use honey as a substitute if you wish, make a strong half cup of earl grey, 2or 3 shots of your choice of gin , a egg white yep it sounds kind of odd but trust me its not that bad wallah a earl grey martini tried this cunttail myself a few weeks ago taste like a nice ice tea I don’t like coffee liqueur based drinks so i was surprised by this
3
Years ago I went to a meeting where the cunts served peppermint tea. Fucking hell it tasted like somebody had just mowed the lawn then brewed up with it. What a pile of piss.
2
Green tea with lemon and a hint of sweetner is a good refreshing drink. Also cheap enough if you buy Tesco’s own brand or in Lidl.
Fruit teas are crap, smell nice but taste of nothing, same goes for earl grey, darjeeling etc….smell and taste horrid.
2
I admit to being a Green Tea drinker……but I’m an admitted cunt anyway, so hey ho.
Mind you, I haven’t drunk it for fucking ages. It is something I have to be in the right mood for as it sure ain’t my favourite beverage. Give me a giant mug of good old fashioned ‘normal’ tea (I’m not fussy – PG Tips, Typhoo, I couldn’t give a shite really)
At first I tried Green tea on its own, but quickly discovered that it tastes like cow piss, so when the times I do drink it I add some lemon and a teaspoon of sugar/or honey and it is much nicer (honestly it is, my fellow cunters)
I don’t drink it for ponce either…..I hate that shite. I started drinking it for the health benefits (it has a ton of them) and because it is supposed to aid weight loss by speeding up the metabolism….and also because I am a lazy cow with a sweet tooth and a severe allergic reaction to gyms. Like all lazy cows I was looking for the easy way to sort our my lard arse…..
…..suffice to say, that has yet to be conquered.
Anyway, not all GT drinkers are total cunts………some of us are just partial ones.
3