Games Workshop are cunts.
So my nephew has recently decided to get into these role-playing (not the good kind) games, the sort where him and a bunch of other nerds buy little models, paint them up, pretend to be military geniuses, and generally wonder why girls won’t talk to them. OK, fine by me. He’s not my kid, and it keeps him indoors rather than out stabbing grannies, or sexting his teachers, or whatever kids his age get up to these days. Wasn’t my problem until he asked for a set of models for his birthday.
Now leaving aside what sort of cunt gets born in January, when you’re still skint from Christmas and the credit cards are due, the set he’s asked for costs £70. That’s seventy fucking quid for what turns out to be 5 tiny fucking knights on horseback. Well, ‘night mares’ as they’re officially called, which must’ve given the 50 year old virgins at GW a good laugh. Plastic knights I might add – not fucking gold. Though they might as well be gold as far as Games Workshop are concerned, since it turns out the rest of their range is equally expensive. It would have been cheaper if the little shit had taken up a coke habit instead.
Did a bit of digging around, and one of their models is – and I shit you not – £950. For a single model. Made of plastic. That you have to assemble and paint yourself. Fuck me, for £950 I’d expect the shag of a lifetime, and I’d want breakfast thrown in too.
Jesus Christ, I’m guessing the cunts at Games Workshop haven’t quite twigged that, initial startup costs and copyright infringement aside, any clever cunt with access to a half decent 3d printer and some quality plastic could buttfuck them out of existence. The only thing I’ll give them is that they’re a British company and, if anything, the rest of the world gets ripped off more than us. Utter, utter cunts.
Nominated by Le Cunt Noir
Yeah thats some expensive hobby cheekily designed as a scam those plastic parts are overpriced get him a plane set instead of the Warhammer workshop set at less then half the price or wait for a sale
7
Hmmm….. nephew you say. You seem to have gone to an awful lot of trouble for a nephew’s birthday. Are you sure it’s your “nephew” and not you who is the muggy nerd here?
I ain’t buying it and I don’t give a fuck anyway. Any cunt who wants to get ripped off from buying geek shit, good luck to them. Not my business.
11
Give it a couple of weeks and your nephew will either get bored of the role-model bollocks, or will chuck the lot out of the window through sheer frustration at not being able to paint the fucking things!
You’d be better off giving him some crack cocaine and/or some tart off the street – cheaper and lasts longer (so I’m told!)
7
You’re right….and one unpainted space warrior leads to another….and another. It’s a disease I tell you!
The sooner the government gets a grip on this unrecognised problem the better.
I do believe I heard the Royal Princes rabbiting on about it the other day but I was probably asleep and just dreamed up the whole load of bollocks in the first place.
5
Lame Cuntshop
The only workshop I know of that has an entire range of spanners but no nuts.
8
Seventy quid ?????
He’d go begging if he was my nephew.
If you must buy him something, get him some of those little paint pots that we used to use for painting model Spitfires and Hurricanes, back when the world was normal. Oh, and a brush, a tenner should buy enough to keep the future 40 year old virgin amused for hours on end.
Good morning.
4
When I was little,my brother and I used to buy boxes of little plastic army figures. He always bought the British ones and I,being a Cunt,bought Germans. We used to have a great time setting them up outside in the garden,and would then take turns chucking marbles and the bangers off crow-scarers at each others troops until one’s side was all knocked down.
My Father wouldn’t allow Action Men, he thought that they were nothing more than Dollies for boys.
If your nephew is older than 12,tell him to Fuck Off and cast aspersions on his masculinity. If that doesn’t cure him, I’m afraid that you may be dealing with the early onset of The Gayness. You must act quickly to save him from a lifetime of debauchery and degeneracy.
Fuck Off.
15
Morning Mr F.
Young lads nowadays can still play with little plastic army figures, but they’ve been updated for a modern age.
You can buy packets of figures with missing limbs as a result of surviving a blast from an IED and only having poor armour on their Land Rover.
Another packet has some little green peacefuls which you can waterboard inside a cardboard Guantanamo Bay which looks suspiciously like “Tracey Island” from Blue Peter.
Another packet of plastic peacefuls has a diorama depicting a seven year old girl getting her fanny razored off by her Uncle Faizal in preparation for their wedding night.
Oh, and don’t forget plastic Darren Osborne driving a Matchbox transit van into a dolls’ house that’s been converted into a mosque.
13
Fuck me, what on earth am I talking about?!
8
Mr Cunt Engine I now have tears of laughter. Excellent post and what a vivid imagination.
1
Why doesn’t it surprise me that you bought ze Germanz, DF?
I bet you had the fucking SS and everything!
6
Ho ho, yes indeed. And couldn’t you just imagine a 10 year old DF dressing up like der Führer with a little black cardboard moustache, whilst making his brother wear a dress, just like Hermann Göring…
8
Why the fuck does this nomination start with the word “so” ?
Cuntspeak creaping on here now.
12
Perhaps it’s written by Fiona Bruce who introduces her programmes with a “…so, we’re in Winchester.”
Bone-curdlingly cunty.
5
“So” creeping? Unless my ears are very much mistaken Sir Mali, it’s been here for fucking years – and now it’s ENDEMIC!
Turn on any telly or wireless set and the first word you’ll hear is “so”. I fear it’s here to stay, because unlike its bastard predecessor “like”, it has infested ALL walks of life and knows no social bounds.
It’s bin Cunted on this hallowed site several times.
Top-Tip: never trust a cunt who starts every sentence with “So”. Whenever I hear it now, I shout out “SO” very loudly.
I really get on the wife’s tits.
6
Sorry Sir Mali, I misread your post, the word “So” brought the red mist down…
Thankfully it’s not endemic on ISAC, but it is everywhere fucking else.
Btw, have the Spanish been infected by it?
3
So, it hasn’t spread to these parts yet😀
1
My deepest apologies, Sir Mali. I must try to do better next time!
3
Whatever. You know.
My son described something the other day as “peng”. Told him no such word.
He reliably informed me that it means something that is lovely.
Anyway, told him if he used the stupid word in the house again he forfeits his weekly pocket money allowance.
5
Should be told that’s the least he can expect. A sharp clip round the ear for imitating the rotting ghetto rat tongue is probably necessary to be honest, lest the infection spreads and consumes the rest of his lingual skills and moral fibre.
2
For some weird reason current society looks upon the disciplining of children by parents with a clip round the ear as something which should be punishable in a court of law. Explains why many children these days are badly behaved, disrespecting little fuckers.
Never did me any harm. The thought of my father clipping me round the ear was enough to prevent me misbehaving. And if I ever cried unduly, my father would tell me to stop, else he would give me something to cry about. And I know he would do I stopped.
With my son I am confident the thought of losing money will be enough to ensure he does not do it again.
He knows we never bluff.
2
You could be really progressive and require a paid license from him in exchange for him being able to utter gibberish. Personally I think fining him is the best option, along with an ear clip.
Maybe washing their mouth out with soap should come back into fashion?
1
Same here Willie my dad was a nasty bastard when I fucked up, clip round the ear was a one on the punishment scale but I soon realised not to be a cunt. Well not very often.
But he also taught me manners and the benefits of hard work and family.
Hope I can do as good a job as he did with my brother and me with my kids and grandkids.
1
I’ll put ‘peng’ in the same folder as ‘Reem’, ‘bae’ and ‘fam’;
Chav-speak.
There are many, and better, adjectives to describe attractiveness.
1
They’ve been going for donkeys years, at least since the mid 80’s.
It was all part of the Dungeons and Dragons – sorry D&D (for the aficionados) – craze that hit over here around then.
A mate of mine was well into it going to weekly meet-ups of like minded individuals ranging from 10 to 60 years old. I’ll be honest, I never got it as a lot of it was to do with imagination, a department in which I am sorely lacking.
There was a Games Workshop in town (one of the earliest) and we used to go in there for him to have a peruse. He spent £80 back then (1985’ish) on a single model, although this was a fully painted, cast metal dragon. It was impressive as models go.
Plastic are they now? Bloody cheap cunts. Probably excuse it on environmental claims these days. Save the planet but pay the same to GW for plastic. Kerching!
30yrs roll by and – like Le Cunt Noir – I have a nephew similarly intrigued by it all. And yes Uncle Rebel has dutifully bought said items for said nephew.
One thing that hasn’t changed in that 30yrs is the smell of a Games Workshop: a foisty mixture of fast food and poor personal hygiene!
The patrons probably don’t notice it as they probably don’t get out much.
8
Patrons who get ripped off by these losers are cunts too.
For Christmas, a family member bought my younger son a Spinosaurus model. 14″ or so long, amazingly detailed quality rubbery plastic, looks incredibly realistic. Off eBay, from China.
13 quid including shipping.
Surely these bellends could buy their pathetic shit cheaper?
7
I don’t understand these people and I imagine they all have the odour of sweat and dairy and resemble that Neckbeard dork on here the other day.
Nonetheless, there is something comforting about these nerds. I can’t put my finger on it. Perhaps it’s bypassing computers, maybe it’s simply childish enjoyment of something innocent.
That smell though…whoof!
6
Trouble is, youngsters always want trendy stuff, and trendy stuff, by definition, is high margin. Best to give them cash and because they have no appreciation of the value of money, will squander it on crap stuff like a techno CD, a Tottenham ticket or a subscription to GQ. .
5
……..or join the Labour Party and become a trannie.
4
Action Man. But that’s just too sexist. We need an Action Trannie to come on line. But how would you mould one? I remember Action Man had a little sculptured bum. But nothing round the front. Maybe they could make a tiny little sexual reassignment effect in it’s knickers. What would you do with them? Well, I suppose all our little trannie sons and daughters will find a new way to play. Let’s see the female Action Trannie… I don’t know…maybe they could drape it over a tank, sat crossed legged beside a bunker. The possibilities are endless!
4
Wasn’t there an advert recently extolling the virtues of the LGBTQAI (not long for the “P” eh) commoonity by means of action men dolls?
I’m sure it was cunted on here at the time.
Speaking of when the “P” will be normalised in society (not that it isn’t already in certain untouchable religions), this makes for startling and sickening viewing:
https://youtu.be/Hf4mOLdvKSs
2
To true Rebel adults can choose to be any size and shape of cunt they want but inflicting this abhorrent shite on children is the final act of a society out of any morality. We truly are reaching some kind of Nadir of our society expect this is how it happened to the ancients.
3
Action Trannie! I love it! What about Action Jihadi while we’re on it?
2
Gaming cunts. ‘Gaming’ is the operative word here. All they are short of is a balaclava and a big bag slung over their shoulder with the word ‘SWAG’ printed on it, robbing tossers.
Mind you, it doesn’t surprise me in this day and age. Anythiing that (especially) the youth of today latch on to, they mark the fuck up and charge the earth for. In saying this, I would also slag off the kids of today as far as all of this goes. Many of them know the price of everything and the value of nothing. I am convinced that they think that every back garden has a money tree in it, greedy little scrotes. Whatever happened to ‘imagination’? When I was a kid, those Airfix kits were popular. You could very cheaply buy your own ENTIRE ARMY and paint them too, making them entirely unique and personal……and all for under a tenner! You can still get them on Amazon (fuck, I should be getting a commission for this. Now there’s an opportunity lost Nurse, you dozy cunt)
Kids these days are greedy little fuckers, especially when they know there is a sniff of cash in the air. My cousin’s youngest is a classic example. A few years ago, she droned on about wanting one of those hoverboard things – like a skateboard with a wheel at each side that you move forward on. Fucking stupid shite. Well Daddy dearest who fucked off out of the family home years before and left my cousin right in the shit, and then fucked off to AUSTRALIA to make megabucks, saw fit to buy it for her at the cost of around £150. (FYI, this is how he constitutes a ‘good parent’…..throwing money at his abandoned children, but I digress and rant over)
I think she used it for about 10 minutes and then went back to her mobile phone and duck facing on Instagram.
Give me the good old days of Sindy dolls. I still have them in my loft to this day, not that I ever play with them these day of course…..well only if there is fuck all on TV.
RIP OFF CUNTERY.
5
Remember a few years ago my young son wanted to go into a Games Workshop just to see what was inside.
Whilst I watched on he was immediately befriended by a store assistant and taken to a table where miniature figures were painted
After several minutes of painting the assistant took my son to where the box set of miniature models were on sale and said quietly (but not so quietly that I could not hear)
“Which one would you like your dad to buy you”?
It was at that point I walked over, took my son by the hand and walked out of the shop.
Cunts.
9
the eternal reek of cornflakes and wanking
4
Used to be called toy soldiers ( Mr Fiddler well outlines those bygone days, above). Regarded as childish in anyone over 11, as I remember. CF had the Airfix sets – I used to save my meagre pocket money for larger-scale plastic offerings, collected one by one and/or swapped with a mate. War was conducted in the garden, accompanied by battered tin vehicles.
Encourage your nephew to research lost-wax casting and show him how much more fulfilling it is to make something yourself – lead soldiers being the objective.
With luck he will develop an interest in church roofs as a result, get arrested, and bother you no further until he has grown out of the phase.
3
For CF read DF. I do not touch type and am therefore a cunt.
2
The local model shop doesn’t sell any GW stuff for this and other reasons.
Terrible, exploitative company that know their customers are suckers and not savvy enough to try different, better and cheaper products.
While i do enjoy modelling i hate this company, the cartoonish armies and dorks who fritter away their meagre earnings on the game-breaking miniatures and crap paints.
It’s all about paying to win.
1
Also, the wargaming aspect attracts the worst sort of dork. Their childishness and social awkwardness (as well as poor hygiene -not a myth), desire to win at any cost and to bitch about rules repulsed me to the point of ditching anything dice-related.
Hence my cunting of Neckbeards; I’ve spent time with the cunts.
1
Christ, just get him a 3D printer so he can make his own. No way I’d spend that on plastic for my own damn spawn much less someone else’s, family or not.
1
I didn’t know they were still about, when I was at primary school all the nerds were into this. I’m surprised they’re still running in this day and age.
1
Nip it in the bud now. Your nephew’s on the path that my brother has trodden. My brother is a fortysomething virgin who is into gaming. Save your nephew before he turns into a neckbeard.
1