Fosters. Seriously, why do people like this revolting, faux Aussie crap? It tastes like fermented rat piss. Had a few cans of it as my first experience of drinking alcohol and aside from once more in snakebite I haven’t touched it since. Nasty, fermented sewage water.
Nominated by OpinionatedCunt
Fosters, 4X, Skol. Carling Black Label, Colt 45, Breaker and other frothy tasteless pisswater were my lagers of choice when I was an underage drinker!
go into the local off license and buy a 12 or 24 pack of any of the above with my mates in tow, and get pissed in the local park. We didn’t give a shit about the taste, we just wanted to have a good time getting pissed and regretting it big time the following morning.
But that was a long time ago; we all make mistakes, and I have touched any of them (apart from the odd Carling out of sheer desperation) since.
7
that should read “haven’t” rather than “have”
what a cunt I am
5
Didn’t Lady Died have a bit of a prob with the Carling white wee-wee ?
3
Haven’t had an alcoholic drink since 7th December and I am not sure when my next one will be. A couple of abnormal blood results has put paid to that.
When I do/can/maybe drink it is either wine or spirits and even though I am a fan of Australia I don’t go much on their watered down beer. I have heard that the Australians do make a decent whisky but as of yet I haven’t tried any, and may never.
2
If you need to stop drinking Gingers, I can recommend this, it worked for me:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Easy-Control-Alcohol-Allen-Carr/dp/1848374658/ref=sr_1_1?
It worked for me. Good luck.
3
Apologies for repeat of “it worked for me.” Fucking irritating, I know.
Say something once, why say it again?
Psycho Killer
Qu’est-ce que c’est
Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-far better
Run run run run run run run away oh oh oh
Brexit to blame, not dementia.
6
Morning RT. Mrs May says that we will take back control of our money, laws, borders when we LEAVE the EU on the 29th of March this year. You wrote that this Agreement will tie us to the EU forever. If, for example there is a ruling by the ECJ which Britain has to adhere to in say 3 years time then I will know you were right all along. Maybe you could elaborate from the WA text why you believe we are not really leaving. I better say if you can be arsed.
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Morning Miles.
Unfortunately I can’t be arsed, but it is widely conceded that the ‘Irish backstop’ aspect of the WA has the potential to keep us tied to the EU in perpetuity.
Cunt Attorney General Geoffrey Cox confirmed as much when his legal advice to the Government was published in full in December.
The article below niftily sums the position:
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/brexit/7888548/brexit-deal-legal-advice/
PS:
(Q) How can you tell when Mrs May is lying?
(A) When her lips are moving.
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Cheer Ruff Tuff, I read some of the reviews and it sounds just like the book I need.
1
There is a mechanism by which this can be challenged,
1. The backstop cannot be permanent under the withdrawl ageement, however there isnt any time limit.
2. If a solution to the irish border can be found which meets the requirement of no hard border then the backstop is no longer needed.
I know these things arent 100% but if it were found that the EU were being unreasonable in frustrating removal of the backstop then that may have a influence in any arbitration.
3
Even if I trusted the EU (which I don’t – even less than I trust the UK Govt.) the situation could still end up being strung out for decades… or until the EU implodes… probably once they’ve pissed our £57 billion down their profligate shitter.
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The refugee of international lager, cheap import muscling in on better home brewed products, its colonisation is nationwide and we cant send it back.
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Well done OC, you’ve found out early on that most of the lagers are some animals piss.
You need continental lagers before it gets to the point where it’s drinkable. German and Belgian notably.
Better still ignore lager full stop and get a decent pint of British real ale down your neck. Loads to choose from, different tastes unlike rat piss lager which all tastes the same, and it’s not all that gassy so you don’t end up with a splitting headache in the morning.
Cheers.
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I’ve said elsewhere in the last couple of days that anything under 5% is water with froth on top, and I stick to that.
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You are right I don’t understand lite beers yanks love them but they taste too watery and you need 4 or 5 beers to feel a decent buzz but its experience is ruined by going to the pisser every 10 minutes 4-7% beer is fine anything under or over is shite
1
You can’t get Fosters in Oz! The Aussies have better taste.
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If you give an Australian a Fosters you’ll get the same pained expression you would from a child receiving a shitty present at Christmas. Vile cat piss in the tradition of shit Australian beers like XXXX, West end, Swan gold, Carlton or Toohey’s.
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A tinny of fair fucking dinkum, fizzy wallaby’s piss.
Haven’t touched shit like this since the 80’s. Tasted shit back then and I suspect any improvement since then is marginal.
I remember that now-wizened, fair dinkum arsehole Paul Hogan used to advertise the muck on the idiot lantern. “Fosters – Orstrahlian for laaager”. More like Australian for the contents of Clive James’ bladder.
Fortunes have since waned and Mr Hogan is now a lonely, dehydrated, wrinkled old prune, his foxy Crocodile Dundee Mrs having left him for a more well hung model with fewer miles on the clock.
Perhaps this was his karma for endorsing the Gala’s piss known as Fosters and unwittingly shoving this down the throats off the poor British public?
8
130 MEPs have signed a loving letter asking us Brits to reconsider leaving the EU……..how very sweet and caring of the cunts.
This is, and I couldn’t argue with it, an “unfolding Brexit disaster” they say. They continue…..”We are reluctant to intervene in domestic politics, but we can’t help but notice that the opinion polls show a growing number of voters who want to reconsider the Brexit decision now it is different to the promises made by the Leave campaign nearly three years ago”.
First of all you foreign wankstain cunts, don’t interfere, just fuck off and die.
Secondly, we can guess who or which cunts have been on a Euro Remain tour trying to stir it up.
The EU is definitely our “achilees heel”
🔥🇪🇺🔥🇪🇺🔥🇪🇺🔥🇪🇺🔥🇪🇺🔥🇪🇺🔥🇪🇺🔥
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Achilles heel, you fucking twat
….my humble apologies for incorrect spelling
5
Take heart dear Ginger! If May gets pissed off by defeat, she will call an election. The date of that election will be after we have crashed out. During the time that Parliament is disoilved , no fucker can stop the EU departure date ! Whooooopppeeee !
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What they meant to say in their letter……
We need you Wonga
Cunts!!!!!
2
Lager is a cold, tasteless, unfriendly drink. .
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That’s why pubs serve it so cold, so you won’t know when somebody’s pissed in your pint.
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Becks for me all the way. No shitty additives due to German brewing laws so no headache. Good times !
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The antidote to beardy, hipster craft beer!
2
No I think that would be pabst blue ribbon, hipsters love PBR To be fair to hipsters pabst isn’t that bad i’d prefer it to other yank beers like budweiser or coors but maybe its just clever marketing by david lynchs film blue velvet
2
Timothy Taylors, nice pint of beer,
G&T….. my tipple
Occasional glass of wine.
2
Ex-military contributors who served on Cyprus might remember Keo lager which seemed to have a monopoly on the island when I was there. After 2 years of drinking that rat’s pish, I couldn’t wait to leave.
3
Prefeer cider and spirits myself. Fosters is just stale lemonade.
3
After being brought up on Charringtons and Tetley mild, I couldn’t understand anyone wanting to drink this lager crap. Apart from being cold and wet there’s nothing to recommend it. Ah the good old days. I remember when……………anyway, I always preferred darker brews rather than this light frothy shit, although I had brief interludes with Festival bitter and Double Diamond. But I don’t bother much now apart from the odd Guinness and Mackeson.
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We only make it for export and consumption in third world countries. Nothing more needs to be said.
3
If you smell Foster’s it smells to me like sick so I cut out the middle man by not drinking it at all.
Back in my yoof I went to Oz and tried drinking XXXX thinking it couldn’t possibly be any worse than the UK brew. It was, I thought a kangeroo had pissed in it.
Stuck mainly to VB, which was about as good as it got in Oz taste wise but had a windy side effect.
4
Back in the early 70’s in Brighton there was a back street boozer called The Full Moon that sold home brew cider without the consent of the brewery of course. They called it Cloudy and it was 12 pence a pint. Tasted like revolting weak orange squash but after 5 pints you were on your arse. A cheap night out was had by all.
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Scrumpy. Doesn’t travel well. Drink the original in Somerset, and you’re down to 4 pints before coma kicks in. You remember only the first pint if/when you wake.Probably a good substitute for Rohypnol.
0
“Wouldn’t you rather be Hemeling?”…
That was one thing Rolf Arse didn’t get nicked for.
Agreed, however, I’ve drunk more interesting fizzy waters. Apollinaris, for one. There’s a decent Betjeman poem that mentions Scotch & Pollie, I think – about a raddled old nightclub hostess.
3
Lager. Fizzy tastless piss, designed for drinking in hot countries. I put it alongside coke and lemonade. Cold and gassy. A good pint of strong English ale or stout, preferably above 6% and you’ll find it has some flavour.
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Why is Fosters cold and piss warm…. So you can tell the fucking difference
1
Fosters and all such brews are cheap, quick brewed piss with more unwanted additives than a post Blair United Kingdom..
Like many yoof, I became accustomed to the piss that was served in the local town boozers where the likes of Fosters, Stella, XXXX were the norm and thought it was the way to go. Wrong! I soon found ales and English beers far superior to the well marketed max profit EU piss flooding pallettes and pubs down south.
Marketing changed the public’s beer tastes in the UK: Follow the Bear, Dundee’s shrimp on the barbie and Probably this n that Carlsberg spiel effectively got everyone on the ‘new thing’ EU brew Lager and made the ale and real beer an uncool thing of the past for decades.
Glad to see that real ales and beers are making a comeback, but not to see that some of it is down to bearded twats with tattoos up to their chins, off the shelf style ideas and hair slicked back right up the level of their gentrified property prices!
1
On my first trip to Aus I commented to the local I was working with on the apparent absence of Fosters. This was a long time ago when Croc Dundee was pushing it in UK.
My Aus friend snorted and exclaimed ” Sex by the ocean. ”
Seeing my baffled expression he explained.
“Fucking near water.”
First time I had heard the expression.
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