What or who in the name of fuck is the Jolly Hog.
Until today I too had been spared this pile of cunt.
I rarely shop at Sainsbury’s but having collected 5000 nectar points worth apx £25 for spending several thousand pounds on fuel, earlier today I thought it would be a good idea to redeem them on a Xmas food shop.
And so it was I came across a brand of Sausages called the Jolly Hog.
I get why companies try to create a personality for their shite but this attempt is nuclear fision piss boiling.
There’s a lightly illustrated picture of the 3 cunts that apparently have created the brand on the packaging.
It says ‘Once upon a time there was 3 jolly brothers….. a rugby player, a ship broker and a cabinet maker (cunts), the three brother loved eating meat, especially pork. They decided to create their own delights which would one day become the best and most delicious in the world and BOOOOOM the Jolly Hog was born’.
And if that isn’t cunt of the highest order just to reinforce it the 3 brothers are called Josh, Max and Olly,
Cunts
Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface
Fucking hell cunty
We can’t even shop without our piss boiling now…… unfuckingbelievable
4
Indeed. I believe Mr McCuntface has finally gone bonkers. I suppose it comes to us all eventually.
Try putting a pair of underpants on your head and two pencils up your nose, and wait for them to take you back to Blighty.
Wibble.
6
That’s funny. Yes I was steaming yesterday.
I think it was partly because I was in Sainsbury’s which is a cunt if a place on the Saturday before Xmas, partly because there was a loop of cunting Xmas songs that I heard twice and partly because I’m a miserable cunt.
That said if you see the picture on the side of ‘Josh, Max and Olly’ i’ll guarantee you’ll feel your bladder temperature rising.
4
You’re not wrong there Cunty – and that rugby player cunt on the right is definitely gay!
https://goo.gl/images/cGAx7n
2
Ah yes just spotted you posted that as I’ve just done.
Thanks RTC I was beginning to think I may be a bit irrational.
1
Strange that the ‘brothers’ all have vegan names…
4
I was going to write that I enjoy a good,meaty sausage but fear that it would condemn Mr. Cunt-Engine to a prolonged trawl through his”niche” porn sites producing a flood of pictures involving Barrymore and Elton John.
I was also going to suggest that the three brothers might well be Gays,but seeing as one of them is a rugby player, and following the exposure and blackballing of Gareth Thomas as “the only Gay in rugby”, there are no longer any Nancy-boys involved in the sport….unlike certain other sports.
By the way….did you buy any of the sausages,and were they good if you did?
4
I didn’t Dick, I lost my appetite when I saw their smug fucking faces.
Especially Josh, big fat fucking face doing a false laugh.
3
Here’s the picture
https://goo.gl/images/1WBKPB
0
Not tried the sausages but the treacle smoked bacon isn’t bad.
Anybody who helps provide even half way decent bacon these days can’t be that much of a cunt (even if are called Max, Josh and Olly).
Max Jiz and Golly. Isn’t that something to do with cuntweazle and and the death star of cunt AKA the flabbopotamus?
2
Just caught a news item on radio, reporting “a poll in the Guardian says support for remaining in the EU has rocketed…”
Which apparently means Corbyn should stop fucking around and “get on the right side of history” by calling unequivocally for a “people’s vote”.
Yawn……
Good question btw Dick – are the sausages any good? Would be amazed if they are.
6
“Artisan” sausages naturally.
Do the three cunty brothers have beards, perchance? 😆
3
I recently took part in a facial hair growing competition against a work colleague from Pakistan.
She won.
9
‘The Jolly Hog?’
I bet the hog wasn’t so fucking ‘jolly’ when they were snuffing it to make their fuckarse bangers.
What a stupid fucking name, but then you cannot expect anything less from wankers called Olly, Max and Josh.
CUNTS.
9
Sausages
Hello Mr Sainsbury, we have this great new product with a catchy back story, three brothers have got together and made this brand called the Jolly Hog, can we get a slot on your shelves please.
Hello Jolly Hog, yes our marketing guys think its great, send us a shit load and we will sell it for you.
ITS JUST FUCKING SAUSAGES!!!!!!!!
Disney under fire for cultural misappropriation Hakuna Matata, for fuck sake….
who gives a shit!
4
I see they’ve let those two cunts in Crawley go without charge. Apparently Inspector Clouseau acted on “information from members of the public.”
In other words some cunt phoned up and said “my next door neighbours are green libtard types…. you need to have a look at them.”
This is the cutting edge of police investigation. It’s not exactly CSI is it?
5
They’ve been released without charge and are not suspects. A spokesman for Komodo Global Speculations today stated that a drone had been shot down, and information obtained from it indicated that the owner was the former suspect. But he’d sold it last year to someone else. Inspector Clouseau continues his investigations.
5
I told my therapist that my wife had threatened to leave me because I like sausages.
“That’s rather extreme” he said ” I like sausages also.”
“Really? I said “You should come to my house and see my collection”….
6
This is meant to be in no way prejudiced but the only Max and Josh I ever knew were Jewish.
But if you think “Jolly” will boil your piss, just look at this wankfest on Google:
http://www.gigglypig.co.uk/
2
Fuck me, that is gross!
Btw, it’s mainly Orthodox and ultra conservative Jews who don’t eat pork on principle nowadays. Most secular (non-religious) Jews take it or leave it, the same as any other cunt.
3
0% added fat? To a pig? Really??
2
Or in reality, thrown together by a couple of lower level managers and sold with overpriced hype
4
If these sausages are popular it’s only a matter of time before Sainsburys stop stocking them. There’s a whole list of stuff that I used to buy there that I can’t get any more. One of them was a wholemeal country loaf like a cob which was great, people virtually queued up for it, it was that good. But instead of taking advantage of its popularity and providing it baked as a large loaf as well, they stopped doing it altogether. They’re a bunch of numb-nuts at Sainsburys.
6
We used to buy skip-loads of Sainsbury’s Italian Easy Cook Brown Rice… so naturally they took it off the market.
3
There are around 20 things that I can longer get in the last couple of years and, infuriatingly, I’d only managed to get some of them once before they fucking vanished.
4
Poor old Lord Sainsbury lost the will to live when he left the Blair government and couldn’t look forward to licking Anthony’s arsehole every week any longer. He didn’t fancy Gordon’s ginger nuts.
3
That is indeed cunt of the highest order. But I find consolation in reflecting that the cunts won’t sell a single sausage to their largely vegan, goji berry-addicted hipster peer group.
Should I need sausages, I buy them from the local, traditional, free from bollocks* butcher. They’re great.
*the sausages, I hope, not the butcher.
4
I was about to buy a bottle oh Yorkshire Gin for a Yorkshire mate, but something made me check the reviews first. The good reviews come from Joshes, Maxes and Ollies, and are ecstatic in their appreciation of the clever blend of botanicals, nose, finish etc. From these it was possible to deduce that it didn’t taste even slightly like gin. The bad reviews indicated that it tasted like a mix of Pomfret cakes, aftershave, washing-up liquid and bubblegum. This was, I learned, a ‘craft gin’. I got something else for my mate.
I’m afraid disgusting craft foods pretending to be traditional are with us to stay.
6
Gave up with Sainsburys a couple of years ago. Used to be able to get some great own brand veggie burgers there.
Like most things to save money introduced an “improved new recipe” version. They were disgusting and I threw them away. Went online to check customer reviews, the last 40 or so said disgusting, all giving 1 out of 5. Contacted head office. They said they would look into it. Withdrew the product and said the old one would be reinstated. Gave up after a year waiting.
Also, you used to be able to spend £25 worth of nectar points on a single shop. Last time was told £5 max per shop. Never done a major shop there since.
Cunts.
4
Whatever happened to Birds Eye Rissoles? I used to love them as a kid but they fucked them off years ago.
Still pumping out those disgusting Fish Fingers though. Who eats that shit?
2
Whatever happened to
Birds Eye Rissoles?
They full of nose pick
That make yer face gurn
Whatever happened to
Dear old Freddie
The great Dick Fiddler
And Willie Stroker?
Whatever happened to the rissoles?
Whatever happened to the assholes?
No more rissoles anymore…
(Repeat ad nauseam. © RTC 2018)
3
Fuck off!
You can’t cunt pork products, it’s the only thing we’ve got left, no matter how cuntish the producers are!
Not a Halal butcher in sight! Bliss!
I notice the AL-BEEB was pushing “Nadia’s Festive Treats” series. I can’t wait for the pork leg, pigs in blankets and crackling episode.
*They* DON’T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS YOU CUNTS!
Fucking festive treats!
Cunts!
6
‘Rissoles?’
Nah, sounds too much like ‘assholes’ to me to be mouth wateringly inviting.
1