‘Women are from Venus, men are from Mars’, so they say. It’s a useful turn of phrase to describe variations in attitude and outlook between the sexes. I reckon that a prime example of this syndrome can be found in relation to the use of mobile phones.
Yesterday I got on a bus and chanced to sit in front of a lardy scratter who was giving it what for on her mobile, verbal diarrhoea of the ‘so ah sez to ‘er ah sez listen ah sez’ variety. You’ve all been there.
After about ten minutes, a bloke opposite gets a call, which proceeded like this; ‘hello…yeah…yeah…right see ya’. Fifteen seconds max. Meanwhile the whale spouts on…and on… until lo and behold, a second phone in her bag goes off. Wtf??
A SECOND phone, presumably for when the battery in the first gives up the ghost.
Then it’s ‘gotta go that’s my other phone ring ya later’ (!!!!), on to second phone and off we go again… ‘yeah ‘ello like ah’m on the bus (no shit, Sherlock!) no ah wuz just speakin’ to ‘er no she ‘adn’t ‘eard so ah told ‘er wot ‘ad ‘appened like an’ she sez…’.
After 45 minutes of ear-bashing my journey came to a merciful end, and I walked up the road day-dreaming about taking that mobile and stuffing sideways into the fat sow’s fucking fat gob. Where mobile phone use is concerned, women are indeed from Venus, and men are indeed from Mars.
What on earth do they find to yak and burble on about for so fucking long?
Nominated by Ron Knee
Be careful, Ron – you used the term “women” and “men” in your post! It won’t be long before the libtards will demand you only use gender-neutral terminology otherwise they will come round and burn your house down and nail you to a stake for being so sexist & misogynist (oh, and I’ll throw “racist” in there because that’s what everyone does these days)
But you’re right – women do go and on and on, talking pointless shit on their phones. And they’re not even discreet about it! Instead they’re giving it large not caring who overhears – not that anyone would want to given how utterly shit their topic of conversation is.
At least with a bloke, it’s basically all done and dusted inside a minute (unless its’ something to do with footie). But fucking hell, women have the knack of talking shit wherever they go. It’s as if their “brains” are full to capacity with pointless shit, and they have to take a verbal dump via talking and talking and talking in order to release the pressure!
Yakkity Cunts!
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Lol NoCunt, I’ll be done for ‘fat shaming’ as well, when I’m just stating a fact. The lump in question WAS a fucking lardarse!
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Thanks god for cars!
7
My wife meets her friend in town every week for a couple of hours. It’s not remotely rare for her to come home, the friend will ring and they talk for 15 minutes. I’ll often say to her ‘you’ve just fucking been together for 2 hours, what the fuck has happened this last week that takes longer than 2 hours to retell?’
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They are usually coarse old hags who sound like a human(?) eqiuvalent of a chain saw. The younger ones tend to go on about their men and their jobs and the older old bags have a habit of laughing out load every ten seconds. All of them old and young seem to need to use the word *absolutely* or *exactly* in every sentence.
They are at their worse on buses I just wish there was some device which would make their ducking phones unusable on public transport, some sort of scrambler.
Every cloud has a silver lining – the schoolkids have half term holiday this week so you don’t have to listen to the gushing shit spouted by 14 year olds.
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A friend who visits Singapore says that you can actually buy pocket size ‘scramblers’ there, but I believe their use here is illegal, more’s the pity.
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I think it might be worth the risk!
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So long as we’re all now taking offence and rephrasing each other, it should read,
‘Wimmin have a desire to know what’s going on in the pointless vacuous social sphere of celebricunts and irrelevant strangers and relations’.
Like fuck they care about the world. Even when they pretend to it’s a half arsed vanity and virtue signalling exercise.
Not once have I heard a women discuss anything of importance on the phone. Never.
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You’ve not lived until you’ve endured a complete bus journey sitting next to a Nigerian/other African woman on the fucking phone, giving it “a-lobba-lobba-lobba” for 45 fucking minutes straight at full volume. These fucking cunts don’t even pause for breath.
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Probably the reason Mr Angry on the Ryanair flight let rip.
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Never heard his side of the story, did we? Funny that.
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You don’t need to go to the Dark Continent if you want that experience, Empire. Londistan is all you need!
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Ron, old chap, either:
~ Don’t take the bus,
Or
~ Take out your own mobile and play some music through the speakers. It doesn’t matter what this is, Progressive House, Ludvig Van, Brazilian death metal, soon it will make the garrulous harpee stop yapping; from shame, or (as has happened to me on several train journeys) an argument ensues where these peremptory airheads actually start admonishing you for being rude! I speak from experience. Ineloquent, discourteous cunts.
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Aye up Cap’n.
I only take the bus if I’m going into town, it’s hopeless trying to take the jam jar, I find.
As for using my own phone as a deterrent, well, I don’t have one of the fuckers. Maybe I’ll actually have to invest in one, so that I can become as annoying to those other cunts as they are to me…
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On or off mobiles, women talk FAR TOO MUCH. I daren’t even say “hello” to my missus these days for fear of initiating a minimum two hour marathon of non stop irrelevant yap about fuck all that never goes anywhere or ever gets to the point about anything.
Fortunately she has a sister in America who is more than happy to reciprocate with endless hours of Skyping nonsense, leaving me free to eavesdrop at my leisure or go off for a quiet wank without risk of disturbance.
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My wife comes home from work and dissapears into her phone, staring at the screen for an hour or so every night. I have no idea what she is doing but I can almost see her soul being sucked into the device.
On the positive side, at least I get an hours peace….
Goodbye for now.
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Turn the volume up on your own phone. The moans and wails from the hardcore porn will drown out the jabbering of the nearby split-arse. Don’t forget to groan a few times while playing with the loose change in your pocket, too. This tactic should silence her,and give you plenty of room to “manspread”.
Glad to help,Mr.Knee.
Gays set their phones on “vibrate” and shove them up their their arseholes. They then try and blame “predictive text” for the mistakes when they type a poorly spelled message using a traumatised and slippery touch-screen…..sure sign of a Gay, a poorly spelled message excused by “fucking predictive-text.”
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Forgot to add….Fuck Off.
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Good suggestion Mr Fiddler it has that ‘vibrate’ feature and it’s about the same size and shape as one. Plus there’s no need for hutches or feeding them or trying to catch them when the urge comes.
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Good suggestion Mr Fiddler it has that ‘vibrate’ feature and it’s the same size and shape as one. Plus there’s no need for hutches or feeding them or trying to catch them when the urge comes.
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Now that we have two resident fruity gentlemen, isn’t it about time that we acquired a liberal Guardian-reading type too?
Surely a leftie shithead must’ve stumbled across these hallowed halls once or twice?
Considering how fucking sanctimonious they all are, I’m surprised that no-one’s at least tried to show us “the error of our ways”.
Come on libtards, be brave and engage us…maybe we’ll turn you to the correct path…
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We have had SNP and Krankie loving, EU supporting ‘Dr Cameron’
I suspect this was a wind up though, using what Sir Limply would call a ‘sock puppet’ account.
Any fucker going to fess up?
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Had to be a wind up CC. The cunt couldn’t couldn’t have been serious. Anybody owning up to ‘loving’ Wee Jimmy Krankie has to be either taking the piss or a twisted perv with truly frightening predilictions
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Well, it ain’t me… My mrs – an Edinburgh lass – would kill me if I said anything nice about Wee Burney and the SNP (who Mrs N despises) even in jest… I’d also get no tea and sex for a bit either… So it’s a definite no-no….
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Well, it ain’t me…
I still have predilections for Fanny Like a Mineshaft, but Sturgeon…no way.
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I reckon it was Sir Limply. . on the subject of libtards I managed to grit my teeth and read a piece by some cunt called Harris from the Gnardiu on the effects of females on the music scene. Made for an interesting read but I urge the few cunters on here who I know to be pretty hard core music aficionados to read his piece. This cunt is an arch remoaner, liebour floosie and general cunt of the Owen Jones variety. That’s of course I may be reading the guy wrong but Gnardiu, Owen Jones and the ceaseless struggle of women in music points to a cunt in my book. He also despises independent media, another sign of cuntish behaviour. Have a read and make up your own mind.
https://www.theguardian.com/?utm_source=msn&utm_medium=hosted
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Apologies, bum link above.
http://www.msn.com/en-gb/entertainment/music/for-rock-music-to-survive-it-will-have-to-cut-back-on-testosterone/ar-BBOLOkP?ocid=ientp
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Owen Jones is a ring sausage of a cunt… It’d help if there were some serious female artists out there… Instead of stage school trained one key chimps like Adele, or prossies and strippers with record contracts like Kunty Perry, Todger Gaga, and Little Mix…. Someone should point spunkbubble Jones to Joan Baez, Nina Simone, Etta James, Kate Bush, Janis Ian, Bobbie Gentry, Linda Rondstadt, Anne Briggs, and the late Aretha Franklin…
I dare say the Femstapo fuckflakes will want all male bands and singers banned eventually… I’m only hoping Hendrix gets a free pass because he was black…
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Indeed cuntflap. Running it past Norman is the acid test of any critique of music. There are some very knowledgeable guys on here. I thought I was an aficionado but the cunts on here are different gravy. I do wonder if Norm is Kevin from eggheads. 😉
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Tarring every queen with the same brush is a bit unfair Mr engine.
I hate lefties as much as I hate seagulls.
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Seagulls MPG?
Had my first mince pie of the year last night – ooh it were scrummy!
With custard, naturally…
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What the fuck is that Erdoğan cunt droning on and on about on Sly News? Ffs, he must be auditioning to be an EU Commissioner or summat… puts Barnier to shame.
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Fuck knows. Some camel jockey gets carved up by his own kind and we’re supposed to give a shit.
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I do give a shit actually, but that’s beside the point.
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IMHO, won’t be long bedore Erdogdirt IS President of the EU…
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An improvement, IMHO. But should he be disinclined, there is a vacancy here for a Brexit negotiator. I think he’d be rather good….with his own record on journalists he’d clear the Graniaud off the newsstands for a start.
The whole episode has a strong smell of put-up job. The Turks must have known something was coming and had a fair idea of what, to get their surveillance co-ordinated so tightly. They aren’t noted for their laissez-faire approach to hostile reporters, or, arguably, to public executions of the same. Remember the woman who ‘hanged herself’ in Ataturk airport? And what happens to a Saudi citizen under Saudi diplomatic cover is ostensibly none of their business (unless the Saudi being topped by some bizarre chance supports the Kurds, in which case hooray as far as Erdoğan’s concerned)
Given that the Saudi royals were originally Bedouin tribal nomads in constant conflict with each other, I found this, from the investment forum, interesting –
““The terrible acts reported in recent weeks are alien to our culture and our DNA,” said Lubna S. Olayan, the deputy chairwoman of the Olayan Financing Company and the first speaker at the event.”
Bollocks. The Bani Saud would off you for a handful of dates in the good old days. Mediaeval cunts.
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Ron needs to be banned from this site. How fucking dare they ascribe biological gender to someone based on assumed characteristics. Just because this person had tits is not permission to assume they identify as female. Indeed,shame on Ron for using patriarchal lyrics inspired violent gender references! ABSOULTELY FUCKING DISGUSTING.
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Bet she was a total minger to boot.
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Here,here, well said krav.
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You are indeed correct krav, and I must apologise in the most abject fashion for my totally unwarranted assumption. I can only say in my defence that the individual concerned was fronting out a pair of udders usually seen down on the farm, hence my assumption, which once again I accept was truly unwarranted.
If Admin decides that a ban is in order, I’l humblyl accept my chastisement like a man, er, person, whatever.
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P.S.
Minger? It was a fucking beast
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All this began back when people lived in caves. The men would go out looking for an animal to kill, and sometimes they’d come across another group of men, and only one lot was going to keep the carcase so they’d battle each other for it. The women weren’t strong enough to do this so they stayed in the cave watching the kids. So men had three main topics of conversation – the hunt, the fight, and what they were going to do to the women when they got back to the cave.. The women had nothing else to do but sit around and talk, about anything and everything, examining and re-examining every little detail of their boring lives.
And this is how we’ve evolved. We’re basically the same creatures that lived thousands of years ago. Men still have three main topics of conversation – work, which has replaced the hunt, sport, which has replaced the fight, and sex, that one hasn’t changed any. And whenever two or more women get together, they prattle about absolutely nothing for hours on end.
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Precisely. The plain unvarnished truth. It’s at the root of what the feminazis have been in denial of and getting their knickers in a twist about since the 1970s. It’s in our DNA.
Probably explains why the social engineering cunts are so keen to push this gender neutral /gender fluid /transgender bollocks, or ovaries…
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Just to add that if you’re hunting something, talking doesn’t add to your chances of fried gazelle at the end of the day.
Anyway, they don’t need phones to get an endless stream of pointless drivel going. There is no filter between brain and mouth. I find ‘Infected Mushroom’ (Israeli hard trance) accelerates the departure of female witterers from outside the window satisfactorily, but am still working on a very crude device, based on a high-voltage spark gap, which should not only silence but burn out any phones within range.
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Fucking hell, if there’s a sounder explanation for this behaviour I’ve yet to see it
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I want to say here and now I detest the SNP , Jimmy krankie / salmond / swinney , ALL SNPs at Westminster and ESP the deluded CUNT that released Abdul basset Ali al-magrahi, on compassionate grounds that he would pop his clogs in 2 weeks the goat riding murdering bastard lived for years
Fuckin clown
Kenny Mccaskil
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Dr Cameron replies. Why are you ISACers so obsessed with insulting Scots and the lovely Nicola Sturgeon? If you despise us so much why do you want us to stay with you in this failed state called the UK? BTW, thanks for voting for Brexit because it has enhanced the chances of Scotland regaining its sovereignty and independence. Still like the rest of the site though.
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You’re going to have the NI hard border issue all over again if you decide to yield to the EU’s imperialistic schemes, though, aren’t you? And I’m sure we will have learned all about how to stall that discussion from our current experience. Incidentally, I think I’m right in saying that CC is, as you claim to be, a Scot. I’m not, but was briefly a member of the SNP, so will just add that independence might have worked when I was. North Sea oil was not then depleted, and if more than five SNP MP’s had existed, it could have happened. A sovereign wealth fund, like Norway, would have made membership of Europe an irrelevance. Anyway the EU was then pumping (our) money into making the likes of Ireland viable, so why not Scotland? Times have changed, Dr. C. Do the maths. The independence movement is a fraud. Oh, and take a look at Greece.
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My file on CC says he’s Welsh…
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Someone has to take him seriously, otherwise he would go away and cease to amuse us. I labour for the common good. My guess is Belgian.
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Apologies Komodo, I accessed Cuntstable Cuntbubble’s file in error.
Are you now suggesting Mr Cumnock Cunt might be Belgian?
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Good god no. Cumnock Cunt is a loyal member of the Apprentice Boys of Largs, I’m guessing, and as Scottish as Rabbie Burns…. I meant Dr Cameron. He must be an agent sent by Brussels.
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Dr C, what makes you think we want to keep you Barnett-formula scrounging cunts in the Union? I suspect your claim to Scottishness is just a fake wind-up, but if not, kindly fuck off back to Tannochbrae.
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Dr Cameron. I’d love a referendum on Scottish Nationalism to vote you cunts on your way. Plus, I’d gob in your whisky and shit in your porridge. Janet is an absolute cunt too for putting up with you. She dreams of you when she’s bending over getting border collie dog spunk up her arse. Can’t you just fuck her once like the sick pervert we know you are? If you can manage wee Crankie, Janet should give you premature ejaculation.
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To be fair to Mrs Norman, the old lady only uses her phone sparingly… She certainly has no love for social media or any of the mongs on it… But most wimmin with phones are colossal cunts… And the ones with phones and Sherman Tank sized puschairs are also cunts… And the ones with phones with huge pushchairs, and the horrible brat in the pushchair also has a phone(!) are even bigger cunts….
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Same with Lady Creampuff… she has an iPhone, but to her credit very rarely touches it unless on manoeuvres beyond city limits, and only then to tell me of her imminent return, to make sure the dinner’s ready the second she comes through the front door!
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And wimmin eurotrash with phones are terribly noisy and ill mannered cunts… These ex-Soviet or Eastern Bloc slags always feel the need to talk very loudly in their irritating gyppo language into their phones… Some old aged pensioner with a hearing aid that picks up every sound on the tram? Someone who wants a bit of peace and quiet on their way to work? Baby finally calmed down and now asleep? That won’t bother (cue Superman type fanfare) Euroslag… Chattering away at full volume with no consideration for anyone else…. Cunts cunts cuntity cunts….
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United fans who feel Ronaldo let them down by not staying and playing under Moyes and with donkeys like Jones, Smalling, Darmian, and Fellaini?……Yeah, them cunts…..
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Don’t get me started on wimmin and their phones. Walked along the seafront recently behind some typical young vacuous female, who was yacking the usual bullshit on her phone non stop for about twenty minutes, then after twenty minutes she said ‘ok, see you in a minute, bye’
There’s one in my office who yacks on her phone every lunchtime, presumably to her husband / boyfriend or whichever cunt it might be – the same thing everyday – ‘..hi it’s me, how’s you, yeah just on my lunchbreak blah blah blah..’, then finishes with, ‘ok see you later, love you’
Well if you’re seeing the cunt later, why yack to him for fifteen minutes? CUNT.
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This is the part of the whole thing I just don’t get MM. They burble on incessantly to some other bird that they’ve either just left or are on their way to meet shortly. It’s just unfathomable.
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Since my Mrs succumbed to FaceCunt a small pile of ironing (none of it mine I hasten to add) which used to take 1/2hr tops now takes 3hrs.
In fact – even though I’m not there all week – the ironing accrued by her + 2 kids ends up resembling a model of Annapurna on the floor where the ironing board is, which also happens to double as my TV and Sky room. It pisses me off no end.
We also have a fuck off expensive pressure steam iron which does things in half the time. I know cos I use it myself. My weekly iron takes between 1/2hr and an hour and I’ll do it while there’s a film or some sport on. That’s because it’s non interactive.
She does the same except now she gets “plinged” on FaceCunt every 2 seconds and so you hear the iron charge up with a “BRRRRRRRR!” as the steam pressure builds up. Then 15mins later you’ll hear it again. 15mins later again. That’s because the cunt turns itself off after 10mins of inactivity!
Go upstairs after an hour and not one thing has been ironed but you can hear the “BOP BOP BOP” of an iPhone keyboard going seven to the dozen!
Good job the fucker doesn’t cook much cos she’d be lethal with a gas hob!
Fucking mobile phones, wimminz and FaceCunt! A triumvirate of Cunt!
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Mrs Fistula stays on the phone for up to 2.5 hours talking to her friend that she only saw yesterday… what the fuck can anyone find to talk about ?
I say what I have to say 20 seconds max.
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Civilisation as we know it came to an end when Virgin East Coast got rid of their First Class Quiet Coaches. Thank God I moved to the Highlands about that time. Here, in the Dark Ages, people still communicate face to face.
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