Coronation Street needs a cunting….
The nearly 60 year old TV drama now reminds me of what that bandit says to Hedley Lamaar in Blazing Saddles when asked about his hobbies… ‘Rape, murdrer, arson and rape!’ That sums up virtually every modern Corrie episode up in a nutshell…
Once a good series with good stories and characters, it really should have finished in 1984: after the deaths/departures of Stan Ogden, Albert Tatlock, Elsie Tanner, Len Fairclough, and Annie and Billy Walker…. Been on the slide since then and went completely crap when Hilda Ogden (Jean Alexander) left…
It should now be re-titled something like ‘Phelan II – This Time He Kills Even More People’ or ‘Bethany Does Islamabad’… What a pile of steaming cunt…
Nominated by Norman
All soaps nowadays are a pile steaming cunt and should be avoided at all costs.
In fact the same can be said of most programmes on TV these days.
23
Ena Sharples and Minnie Caldwell were the bee’s knees!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=84MUlINrcjw
7
Spot on, Norm.
Classic CS, with Ena, Elsie, the Walkers and co. was tremendous; beautifully scripted and often very funny indeed.
Naturally it all had to go tits up at some point, and it jumped the shark for me a few years back with the utterly ludicrous ‘Corrie killer’. Now it’s just CorrieEnders, and it’s utter shit. I just watch it now and again for a laugh, only this time I’m laughing AT it.
11
Is it as achingly PC as East Benders? When I used to watch it (20 years ago, I hasten to add!), it was full of bumders, non-violent kneegroes and gentle peacefuls. Presumably they’ve jumped on the gender fluid bandwagon by now?
7
Rear-Enders is one of the biggest piles of steaming shite ever to hit UK screens. From ‘helmet fiddling’ Dirty Den to the chut-en-ney ferret who kissed his bum chum on-screen before the watershed.
Rear-enders is jam-packed with PC whiners, sexual deviants, darkies, lezzers, druggies, thieves, fatties and cunts with the IQ of an empty crisp packet. Reflective of modern society? Not a million miles off.
28
Hilda, Stan and Eddie
Albert Tatlock, Ena Sharples, Minnie Caldwell
Annie & Jack Walker (and their son)
Betty Turpin, Elsie Tanner & Bet Lynch
Gail Potter, Deidre Barlow
Len Fairclough, Mike Baldwin, Ken Barlow
… and the cute little pussy in the opening credits.
That’s what made Corrie back in the 70s!
Today its a show full of pussies, written by pussies and produced by pussies for a nation full of cunts..
15
And men were men like Big Stan Oggie, Fred Gee, Alan Howard, Ray Langton, Len Fairclough, Mike Baldwin, and Billy Walker… Not pussywhipped cunts like Steve CuntDonald, panto villians like Jim ‘Elizabeth Ya Wee Whore’ and Munchkin Phelan, and that screeching faggot Sean and his vicar boyfriend….
Great teams/partnerships sustained the show in its prime… The underrated Emily and Ernest Bishop (still remember when Ernie got shot and killed)… Also unsung were Alf and Renee Roberts… Then there were the greats: Ena and Minnie… Ray, Len, and Jerry Booth… Stan, Hilda, Irma, and later Eddie… Ken has been done to (near) death by now, but him and the very tidy Val, and especially Ken and Albert Tatlock were great in the early years…
And particular favourites of mine were the gang at No. 11 (Elsie, Gail, and the lovely Susie), the Ogdens and Eddie next door, the Rovers team (Annie, Jack, Lucille, Billy, Betty, and Bet) and Rita and Mavis were funny together at the Kabin… They were good characters and actors who had magic combinations… Now every fucker has fucked everybody else, married the same cunt twice or more, comes out as a woofter, a lezza, or a murderer, or is a jailbait slag who has screwed the whole of Weatherfield… Only current character who would make it in the 60s and 70s heyday is David Nielsen as Roy Cropper…. The rest are cunts…
And when Bet and Lucille did that dancing in those barely there shorts on the Rovers bar?…. One of my first ‘experiences’ shall we say….
15
Jack, Vera, and Terry Duckworth and Bet and Alec Gilroy were probably the last teams of true Corrie characters… The greats all went one by one and were replaced with crap… Shite like Kevin and Sally Webster, Des cunting Barnes, Racquel (fine actress, but crap character), the horrendous McDonalds (except sexy Liz), that Dev cunt and his lot, Foghorn Leghorn Elliott and Ash- Ah say – Ashley, those Mallett cunts, Denise fucking Welch (slag), Martin ‘boring bastard’ Platt, Tyrone and fucking Fiz, and those disgusting Battersby cunts ruined the show and it never recovered….
Also great were Phylis Pearce and Chalkie Whitely…. Percy Sugden was also ace… When he lost his beloved budgie, Randolph… Old Perce is in the middle of the street shouting ‘Randy! Randy! I need yer! Randy!’
9
Am certain that the two pigeons in the titles are just waiting to detonate…
I’d still do Liz McDonald, Leanne Battersby, Michelle and Bethany.
Possibly even the middle-aged meerkat that opens the front door wearing her dressing gown…saucy little minx !! (It’s those spectacles !)
The scourge of the soaps (recently) has been the influx of bogtrotters, although I think Emmerdale is as yet not infested, although there seems to be a dalek copper. I’d defo do Charidee and Moira.
All total bollox, but so absurd that it has comedy value. And some nice tits.
4
Gave this shit up about 4 years ago. I was sitting there one night watching yet another ridiculous storyline unfold and I thought…….why the fuck do I watch this shit? Then I realised that I was only watching it because I had been watching it since I was a little kid. I had never known a world without Corrie. At the time there were 3 benders and 3 lezzas in it. Ridiculous. I switched it off and have never seen it since. Total bollocks.
14
Haven’t watched it for about five years… When I found out that talentless tart, Michelle Collins, was taking over the Rovers I thought ‘Fuck this!’… Obviously a pathetic gimmick: ‘Ex-Eastender Takes Over Rovers Return!’, but she was fucking shite… She was shite in NeverEnders and she’s shite in everything else… From Doris Speed as the legendary Annie Walker to Michelle fucking Collins?!! As those Public Enemy cunts once said ‘How low can you go?’….
Lower… Around this time they also put that gurning cartoon Lancastrian cunt Paddy McGuinness in it… Playing – what else?- Paddy fucking McGuinness…. I’ve heard of scraping the barrel, but this was taking the piss….
9
Bloody hell Norm, you know your Street!
4
I learnt a new word today. Heteronormativity. Apparently Al beeb are so terrified of this concept, they have put procedures in place that will eradicate it. What is heteronormativity? Something about nasty straight people in positions of authority, or some such wank. My eyes glazed over before I could finish the article. Cunts….
8
It’s the assumption that there are only two genders…… male and female. As we all know there are not, gender is about feeling and emotion not biology, which is essentially socially constructed.
Now get your stockings and high heels on and get out there and earn some money you dirty little tart.
7
Is heteronormativity going to fuck up our Christmas nativity? Grand kids will be heartbroken if that is the case. Is nothing safe from transbendery and yuman rights?
So all you have to do is become a brain donor, then invent a fuckwit word and you get a top job at Al beeb. I had a go (without donating my brain) came up with heterokickyourbollocksifyouhaveanythroughthetopofyourheadyoucunt.
What do you esteemed cunters think of that eh??
5
No they’ve proven it! It’s all to do with quantum physics!
I bet Stephen Hawking never realised he’d discovered the root cause of transgenderism in his quest to unlock the secrets of the universe!
Well we all know what will be going up this cunt’s wormhole don’t we! Enjoy!
https://youtu.be/6Fanea5kcfg
2
And they’re handing out putty medals (or similar) to people who actively support deviants, so that said individuals, if feeling threatened, can run to you and cry on your shoulder, and probably leave other marks of lust all over you.
So I imagine that when Al-Beeb asks for people to “volunteer” as “deviant-supporters”, anyone who refuses will probably be on the receiving end of a massive PC backlash, and probably lose their job.
5
Notice the peacefuls have no “gender confusion”. Nobody slags them off for their heteronormativity. Oh no, they are busy popping out little Abdul’s, nineteen to the dozen, while our youth are told they don’t know if they are Arthur or Martha.
We are fucked.
13
“Can I get that flat white with low fat soy milk please. And do you have any charge points for my iPhone?”
These are main challenges faced by our feckless, over-privileged, metrosexual, mílenial males; all of whom have “RUN! HIDE! TELL!” on speed dial.
And when we do get young lads prepared to give it a go in the “ruck” stakes, they get dismissed for daring to have a selfie taken with the wrong type. ‡
Yes we’re fucked Freddie if we ever have to rely on those cunts to step up!
Tristram has a nasty tweet and an unfriend button. Mohamed has a fuck off knife. Let’s see who wins…FIGHT!
‡ Anyone who offends our unofficial Shariah Ayatollah leaders of the Muslim Council of Great Britain. Funnily enough the same kind of cunt we send our young working class boys and girls to deal with in the various Shariah shitholes of the Middle East! Absolute fucking disgrace it is! 😠😠😠
15
I can honestly say I never watched any soap, except one: Knots Landing.
The precursor to Dallas was generally woeful, exceeded it’s successor in longevity, and had a decent enough “baddy” in William Devane.
My Mum could never understand why I’d go upstairs to watch it on my little colour portable when there was a much better Summer Special on featuring the greats like Cannon & Ball, Duncan Norvelle (remember when acting a bit camp was edgy – nowadays it arseless chaps as a minimum to bat an eyelid), and Les Dennis and Dustin Gee.
Well Mam (God rest her soul) it was because Nicolette Sheridan was quite easily the best wank on telly a 14yr old boy could get!
Nuff said!
6
The two Heathers…
Locklear in Dynasty and Thomas in The Fall Guy…
Oh dear me, yes….
8
Des Barnes was an authentic deluxe cunt… But his Mrs was as doable as fuck… Later seen in Ashes To Ashes as the posh totty solicitor… A cracker….
6
Francoise Hardy look-alike, Eva Pope, was also very doable as barmaid soapbitch Tanya… Apart from her, and the aforementioned Mrs Barnes, 90s Corrie was totally shite…
6
Never watched it as a youngster, as my Father would not allow us a TV. Only a radio, & and he selected just what we could listen to. Same with reading material. Only books. Comics, magazines, a no go. Never watched any soap since. Just a thought, but will viewers shortly be seeing ” goodie bags,” from recent wedding, being auctioned off in Rovers Bar. (If it’s still called that.) Seems their proving quite profitable on eBay.
6
they are!!….NOT….their!
2
Tony Warren in a documetary sticks in my mind. At the height of Ena and Minnies’s popularity. ‘I am going to kill Minnie Cauldwell off on Christmas Eve in the snug’. Fantastic scene with all releveries going on around he as she slumps forward. Cue music. Worthy of Billy Wilder. Such a shock when things didn’t get out like they do now.
4
Thank fuck I persuaded Mrs Hunt to switch off this drivel around 8yrs ago.
Corrie and Emmerdale nowadays simply try to out-shock each other with moronically unimaginative thuggish plots.
Everybody is gay or a murderer, preferably both.
Glad to see some fellow-ISACs remembering the glory years to whom I would add Derek and Mavis; Reg and Maureen; Baldwin trumping Ken. Daft ? Yes, but it made me laugh as an all too brief interlude until the next endless load of misery.
9
Mrs. Boggs watches Emmerdale and at this time of year with dark evenings I see it. Fucking terrible. Thursday has 2 episodes with a 30 minute break between them. As I had enough of some pantomime dame bitch in part 1 I went in the kitchen and watched Alfred Burke in Private Eye. It was from 1969 and recorded on black and white but the class of those old productions – no non-stop music and sound effects scenes not constantly cutting from one to another, and it was filmed in pre pansy and hipster Brighton – some of it on the long gone West Pier. It is on Talking Pictures on Freeview and was better than any of the crap Mrs B watches every fucking night. It’s Strictly Come Prancing night, but glad to say she is going to a friends to watch it as she has a 50″ screen. I might watch something on Pornhub.
7
RTP above. Tony Warren. Something he said in a documentary. At he height of Ena and Minnie’s popularity-‘I am going to kill Minnie Cauldwell off on Christmas Eve in the snug’. Fantastic scene with all the revelries going on she slumps forward. The camera on her slowly pulls away. Cue music. Such a shock.
2
Wasn’t it Martha Longhurst who was killed off? Minnie lasted till 1976 and Ena until 1980…
1
Stand corrected Norman. Martha Logghurst is was.
1
PS that Natalie Anderson (the relatively-recent Emmerdale barmaid , sorry, bar person) has the most magnificent rack ever regularly displayed on ITV. She left; I tuned out the next week!
6
Never watched it. It’s been on at various friends’ and girlfriends’ homes so I’ve caught glimpses in passing, but it just seemed utterly boring. Starting with that fucking dull suicide inducing theme tune. What cunt wrong that bag of turd? A bunch of whining northerners for an audience of whining northerners. Now now….before you get all offended because I’m a southern cunt, Eastenders is just as bad if not worse. I have watched a few episodes of that (Dirty Den era) and it had the same problem: utterly depressing and almost completely negative. Life’s not like that. Nice, good and happy things do happen, but not in these soaps.
The only soap I used to watch semi-regularly back in the day was Brookside. For two reasons. First, Amanda Burton – mmmmm…..lovely syuff. Second, for the crap acting and mong accents….to me it was like a comedy. Absolutely fucking hate everything Scouse and watching these mongs struggle through each episode was funny as fuck. Each to their own I ‘spose.
7
Thank fuck ive not seen a single minute of a soap since I had to endure Crossroads as a chav.
4
All these shite soaps need an “Emmerdale” style final episode where an airliner falls out of the sky and incinerates every regular character.
In Corrie and Eastenders’ case, make it a fully laden B52 bomber just to make a proper job of things.
Televison really does rot the brain…
5
I read that Tony Warren was a quair. I stopped watching soaps years ago. They’re a waste of my life. I’d have stopped watching Degradation Street much earlier had I known about the botty antics of the originator. I don’t knowingly support quair projects. Still, I suppose they’re much more tolerable than transbenders. Except for Wayne County and the Electric Chairs. Otherwise they’re cunts and I’d shit in their Weetabix.
22
Warren gets too much credit anyway… He did create the series and wrote somegood earlier episodes, but the best stuff in the 70s was written by people like Jack Rosenthal, Adele Rose, Leslie Duxbury, and H.V Kershaw….. It’s like Sydney Newman and Verity Lambert creating Doctor Who, but Barry Letts, Robert Holmes, Terrance Dicks etc were the men behind its glory years….
1
PS. I would have bummed Sally Webster stupid over the Rovers bar with Kevin tied up being forced to watch, cue theme tune in waltz time.
24
Sally was a tasty piece in her 80s prime…. Kevin is a cunt.. Whenever he shouts he sounds like a Dalek if it was from Miles Platting…
6
In earlier episodes of Corrie there were scenes where a piece of music was heard and no words were spoken… Like a film with a soundtrack or score… This was used mostly from 1970 to 1972, and even variations on the theme tune were occasionally used…. It was quite effective and artistically done…But millennial cunts and modern chav Britscum would never understand such moody subtlety, and would just scream for more rapes, murders, overdoses, and affairs…..
1
The women ,in the series are camper than the gay blokes.,..like women in Rochdale soon as they hit 39…act really camp….Corrie my nicknames for the series…’The northern pantomime’ and Nine Bob note street’….
5
Would rather flatten my toes with a steak mallet than watch that pile of dog shit, Actors, don’t make me laugh, Cunts, bumping weight.!! low intelligence = soap operas.!
2
Here’s a soap question, cunters…
Can anyone think of one doable or fit woman who was in Prisoner Cell Block H?….
2