The man purse

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An increasingly common phenomenon I have noticed recently. You are standing behind a bloke in a shop or a supermarket and the cunt pulls out his wallet. Except it’s not a wallet. He opens it up and it’s got little compartments with zips which contain all the different coins and notes.

So the cunt fumbles around unzipping and zipping trying to find the right change. Then he realises that he can’t make it so he whips out a note. Now we have to stand around while he puts the change in the right compartments and zips them all up again. ? For fucks sake! ? It’s like standing behind some fucking old woman!

Listen cunt! You keep your notes in one pocket and your coins in the other pocket…..how hard is that cunt?

Is this part of the increasing gayification of our society? It gets on my tits!………and don’t get me started on man bags !

Nominated by Freddie the Frog

81 thoughts on “The man purse”

  1. Funny and amusing cunting FTF!
    Any man caught in possession of a purse or man bag in the first instance should receive a police caution! Then if the sickness persists be immediately put under the supervision of a doctor!! With regular sessions with a psychiatrist….😂
    It’s utter fuckin modern day bollocks and should be throughly discouraged………….

  2. No wonder productivity is so low in this basket case of a cuntry!

    I keep all notes & coins in my right-hand jeans pocket. Paying time at checkout: 20 seconds max.

    (Not counting the half hour it takes the dippy bint to put it in the till and hand me a receipt.)

    Nice one Freddie.

    • Morning RTCP….
      what the fuck is it with women only starting to look for their purse when being asked for payment? I’ve lost count of the times in shops/ supermarkets and toll booths where the looking for my purse pantomime only starts when payment is asked for!! 😡

      • Intent on wasting yet more time, immediately before payment the customer (invariably a woman) will hand the cashier a wad of fucking money off vouchers which have to be scanned individually to see whether they have saved a few pence. Firstly it is only a few pence, and secondly it is infuriating to those waiting behind.

        Why the fuck they cannot specifically match the voucher to what they have bought is beyond me.

        Have NEVER seen a man do the voucher thing.

      • Not to mention all the fucking coupons, loyalty cards and the inordinate time it takes the overgrown slugs to bag their tedious shit…

        Afternoon Q.

      • Oops – you got in there first Willie… while I was faffing around making coffee and getting an earful from the wife before returning to my little sanctuary to click ‘Post Comment’.

        A good afternoon to you too.

      • A good afternoon to you also Ruff Tuff

        Sorry to hear that you are having problems with the trouble and strife.

        Unusually my wife has been very relaxed and friendly recently. As they say in Japan “there must be a typhoon coming”.

  3. I do like a good quality leather wallet with a coin compartment for everything but the small 5s,2s and1,s that go in the moneybox,tried keeping notes in my jeans but lost too many pulling phone or car keys out along with crumpled tenners…..here in Hull if you see a bloke with a purse hes usually robbed it
    ….

  4. Do men really use these?

    Like Ruff Tuff, coins always right hand jeans pocket. Notes in wallet alongside credit/debit cards kept in left hand jeans pocket.

    Easy, and I don’t look like an effeminate poofter at the checkout.

  5. And in other news.
    Police will be attending Cardiff’s Gay Pride event this weekend. As in ‘participating’. Shame they cant participate in catching burglars etc. My home town is a hotbed of feral chavs, robbers and drug dealers. Glad I moved a long time ago. However, the good people of Newport can rest assured that the police are ‘inclusive’.

    • That’s nothing – Suckdick appears to be spending the entire Londonistan policing budget for the next five years on the Notting Hill Stabathon over the weekend.

      “13,000 officers to patrol the two-day event – 450 more than last year.”

      “Almost 7,000 officers, some from the Metropolitan Police’s newly-formed Violent Crime Task Force, will be policing Monday’s event to “combat the threat of violent crime.””

      https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1007851/notting-hill-carnival-knife-crime-london-news-knife-arches-metal-detectors-police

      Fuck me.

      • I’d have thought 1300 was over the top….. Or shit, even 130 but 13000? The met police must really not like or trust darkies.

      • The police always get so touchy when the public tell them to use their resources better and start stopping actual crimes instead of protecting wankfests like this. I’ve always hated the that shitty un-British carnival and how it absolutely ruins the neighbourhoods it moves through it is so if those cunts want to stab each other then I’m quite happy to just let them do so.

  6. Excellent observation Freddie, welcome change from the hackneyed Brexit issue.
    Credit cards and coins front left pocket, wallet back left, “Arse Pocket Office*” back right, car keys front right – always. Never once put me car keys down and had to ask some cunt else where they might be.

    * Arse pocket office is where bits of paper, shopping lists, notes to self etc live.

  7. Where are we supposed to post Brexit items without upsetting many ISAC “I’m bored with Brexit posts in general topics” contributors?

    As it stands I have no alternative other than to include under non Brexit items, so apologies for this clip.

    ttps://www.express.co.uk/comment/expresscomment/1006620/Brexit-remainers-vote-leave-campaigners

    After this riveting, extremely powerful hard impacting and highly informative video of the Remain supporter bus (with a foreign gentleman wearing a mask for no apparent reason) I am certainly switching from Leave to Remain.

    Well done for providing my laugh of the day. Is this really the best that you can come up with?

    • I’m not bored with Brexit related items… and if I was I’d just skim over them… like I do with football related items…

      Btw Willie, your link doesn’t work.

      • I was going to cunt the latest Project Fear from Hammond and the Treasury. However, I am so worried about credit card fees on holiday I am now supporting ‘The People’s Vote’

      • Our old mates at the guardian are always good for a laugh?
        After running the brexit BLT sandwich scare story which raab dismissed as ridiculous yesterday they couldn’t help themselves and in today’s paper they have changed tack by saying the bacon would be more expensive! “Na na nana na “ How fucking childish are they?

      • Do Al-Groan really not realise that we have pigs in Britain? Or do they expect us to slap import tariffs on our own bacon and sausages now?

      • BBC did the exact same shit except they stepped it up a notch saying if the bacon comes from Denmark, tomatoes from Spain, lettuce from France then Brexit will make it really hard for all these things to come together. Apparently Britain is a barren hellhole incapable of supporting life and all our farmers do is sit around in the dust praying for something to grow.

        I personally always try to buy British meat and produce whenever possible anyway to support our farmers so I really couldn’t give a shit about tariffs on some horrible French vegetables anyway.

      • Something like 30% of fruit and vegetables currently have to be ditched due to EU regulations on appearance. Nazi cunts.

      • Bollocks.

        Think you have to click on the “We must not allow the Remainers to betray the people, says KATE HOEY and then the video should appear.

      • RTC – the link works if you copy and paste it and put an *h* at the beginning, changing it from ttp to http

    • Foreigners trying to stop Brexit are such cunts, like that German MEP the other day who said the whole EU should have been able to vote on Brexit so they could guide us to the “correct” decision. Had an argument with a brexit hating foreign cunt the other day who was saying that the problems Europe is currently facing should be dealt with together by the EU. Totally ignorant to how pretty much all of Europe’s problems are because of the EU. Thankfully ever more countries are realising this and electing anti-EU parties into power.

  8. TBH I’ve had a rethink about the man bag?
    If you catch the train to work and have a long walk to the office I suppose it’s a good idea to wear flat comfortable shoes/ trainers and only change into your high heels Once at work ?
    Where else would you carry your make up bag, Vanity mirror or silvikin hairspray? and god forbid your tanpons if it’s your TOTM? 😂

    • Tampons to help quelll the flow of butthurt millenial anti Brexit bullshit from their manginas?

  9. Reminds me of that classic Steptoe episode (‘Any Old Iron’): where Albert is horrified that Harold might be on the turn and he’s dressed up like a dandy with a ‘man’s handbag’…. All this shit now though is about dumbing down real, ordianry men and trying to de-masculinise (is that a word? Well it is now!) them… Like all these cunts with man-buns, and all those ‘effem-men’ cunts who follow Lily Mong on Twatter… All this what’s OK and what isn’t OK bollocks.. If’s typical wimmins games and bullshit… They see blokes as ‘acceptable’ if they look like mincing wankers and are in touch with their ‘feminine side’… Yet then they will act like demented feral witches when a bloke (like Matt Damon) dares to offer his opinions on ‘Me Too’ and all that shite… As usual, the slags want jam on it… Well, they can fuck right offski….

  10. I’d noticed a new bird drinking in my local recently. Good looking type but clearly loved herself.

    Managed to get her back to my place and into the bedroom, where one wall has floor to ceiling shelving containing various cuddly toys. Largest at the top, smallest at the bottom.

    Lying in bed the following morning she says ” I really enjoyed last night, from the surroundings I can tell your obviously a kind and sensitive man, how was last night for you?”

    I said “You can take any prize from the bottom shelf”….

  11. Probably not a true Poof, Freddie. Gays carry those little old Lady purses which they clutch to their chests while mincing along the street screeching “Ohhh, Get Her.”. They use them to carry little lacy handkerchiefs which they use to dab each others’ lipstick folowing any oral spillage. They also hide their Chemsex drugs in them….and hospital appointment cards,presumably…….
    From today’s paper……. “.Badly hatched plan: Man is hospitalised after stuffing 15 hard-boiled EGGS up his bottom while getting high on date-rape drug GHB
    Dutch man had taken chemsex drug GHB along with his partner
    The pair boiled 15 eggs which the man then inserted into his rectum
    He was hospitalised with a torn intestine cause by the eggs”

    They like it up ’em.

    Fuck Off.

    • Good afternoon Dick.

      I notice the report blames hospitalisation on the eggs and not on the pervert who inserted them.

      PC journalism gone mad!

      Newspapers not fit to wipe my butler’s arse on.

    • For every one prosecuted,there’ll be a dozen allowed to get away with it. It’s all in the best interests of da cummunittee,initt.
      I wouldn’t give a single penny to any of them who weren’t totally legal and employed. Sponging,lying frauds,the whole lot of them. Should have had insurance like everyone else has to,if they want a payout when the worst happens.

      Fuck them.

      • I loathe “communidee singing”, but “communidee singeing”, alla Toksvig towers was well hot…

  13. Brilliant Dick I mean how fuckin thick do you have to be tae think eggs up your erse is a guid thing ?
    My mate who is a consultant urologist once attended (along with another consultant) a chap who had inserted 5 metres ( im not kidding here ) of electrical cable up the head of his cock ( the copper had been stripped out it )
    Cunt had to have major Surgery
    Point is that’s 2 x consultants at £150 k each to deal with this fucking deviant
    I’d have left him in agony to die
    The CUNT

    • fternoon,CC…. I read about two of The Gays who decided that they’d pour quick setting plaster up their ring-pieces for some bizarre reason. How they planned to extract these casts,when set,is a mystery to me,but apparently they were so burned internally that the hospital had to flush them out before the plaster set….Absolutely mind-boggling behaviour,even by their standards.

      • While we’re on the subject. Occasionally I google ridiculous things and click on ‘images’ to see what comes up. Well you have to have a hobby. A week ago I googled ‘frenzied cock suckers’ or something similar, and amongst the porn pics was one which showed a bloke sucking another bloke and he had spunk in his beard. It was one of the most disgusting things I’ve seen. You can’t unsee something like that. The image was in my brain and I couldn’t get rid of it. I thought I’d share this revolting thought with you so that I don’t have to suffer alone.

  14. On a happy happy note chaps / chapesses
    Anyone see Wee Soapy Salmond former leader of SNP and First Minister of Scotland 2 complaints of a sexual nature !!!!
    Wee Nicola aka jimmy krankie and Wee eck now in a Spat !!!!!!!

    • I can’t deny it, Dick. you’ve shocked and,yes,disappointed me.

      @RTC….I never doubted it for a minute.

      🙂 .

      • Purely practical reasons for my man bag not some gayified mincing tarts bag, oh no, but until I moved here the idea of a man bag would have repelled me too.

      • Sorry,RTC. I confused you with Willie and Dick admitting to having man-bags.
        My apologies.

      • Easy mistake to make Dick, apology accepted.

        Rest assured you will not be hearing from my solicitor in the morning.

      • @Willie…I roll mine around in a wheelbarrow,Willie….it’s been a long time since they’ve been emptied.

        However,you’re quite right about keeping them in a man-bag. Must admit I was rather thrown off my game by Mr. Byrne’s unwelcome revelation.

        🙂 .

    • Fucks Sake, Mr. Cunt-Engine…You chatting about “Friends” while drinking some poncified coffee,no doubt,and high-fiving other devotees as you discuss Rachel’s hair during one of your water-cooler encounters is most upsetting.
      First Willie and RTC chating about man-bags and now your revelation have made this a most upsetting day.

      Think I’ll see if MumsNet has any slightly more manly subjects.

  17. Why doesn’t everyone just use wallets? What’s the point of even having purses?

  18. I have a proper wallet for cards and foldy stuff and a “snappy purse” for coinage.

    Don’t worry it’s a northern thing. They come free with flat caps and whippets.

  19. Never had a wallet in me 58years, when i was earning lots cash some went in me pocket and the rest i gave to wife put in an old wellyboot , fecking mistake that was she had the lot when she divorced me, now ive got feck all, i find that keeps gold diggers away, and fact I live in a vardo moosh big come down from big house and blacksmiths shop. Fecking no cocks femonizing the chaps with purses and manage will end badly for us blokes. I put into interweb ” male use of sanitary products ” and was bowled over by results, unbelievable .

  20. Yeah I have a little granny coin purse like the one in photo but I try not to be seen in public with it…

    “Umm is that your wallet sir”, “oh you mean this dainty little thing? good heavens no my dear just buying some milk for the missus” lies all lies I tell you

  22. Man purses, eh? Did our forefathers really fight and die at Alamein, Cassino, Arnhem and a thousand other hellholes just so that the Justins of this world enjoyed the right to ponce about with man purses, man bags and other female accoutrements.Hell, no…

  23. The number of cunts on here confessing to using purses and man bags is disappointing but not really surprising. Just further evidence of the creeping gayification of our society.
    Pretty soon army uniforms will come with special pockets for vanity mirrors, moisturiser and blusher.
    Fucking poofs.

  24. Its called a wallet FFS!

    Cash cards, driving license, paper money, receipts and business cards. That is all that ever needs to be in a wallet.

    It should be no more than an inch thick and it lives in your front left jacket pocket, or right front trouser pocket. Your choice.

    Anything more effeminate should see the owner hung, drawn and quartered and the remains fed to pigs.

    Anyone carrying a manbag whilst sporting a manbun should be executed with an anti aircraft cannon.

    Its the only reasonable course of action to take really.

  25. As my drill sergeant used to tell recruits ‘ I was in Baghdad before
    you were in yer dad’s bag sonny….you idle little man!’
    Left right…left right left right….mark time.You might break your
    mother’s heart….but you won’t break my fucking heart
    Have you polished your man bag today? Idle little cunt!

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