Free air users

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Whilst I am on a roll, I would like to nominate free air users for a cunting.

In a bit of a rush, notice one tyre a bit low on air, so go to Sainsbury’s garage to pump it up. Why do I always get behind some cunt who want to make checking his/her tyre pressures a fucking day out. I’m surprised some of the cunts dont take sandwiches.

Then they decide to check their water level. I always thought that taking the pressure cap off a hot car was a little on the dangerous side, but what the fuck they do it anyway.

Then they get back in their car, fuck about again for 5 minutes doing god knows what and then drive away.

Not bad, only took 20 minutes. Cunts.

Nominated by Roge

25 thoughts on “Free air users”

  1. Free air users definitely are cunts, especially the likes of Anna Soubry, Gina Miller, Justin Trudeau and Michel Barnier. It’s time we put a stop to these bastards using our free 78.09% nitrogen, 20.95% oxygen, 0.93% argon, 0.04% carbon dioxide, and small amounts of other gases, plus a variable amount of water vapor. Tightly wrapped cling film would do the trick. Bunch of cunts.

  2. Recently stuck behind a selfish cunt who decided to park next to the free air/water machine rendering it unusable while he went into the shop to make a purchase.

    Regarding fluid levels- always do this at home because (as you say) it can be dangerous to do so whilst the engine is hot.

    What really gets my goat are the petrol stations that charge a fee to top up the air or water. Last week (on the way back from the car garage) unbeknownst to me I had developed a puncture. The tyre pressure warning light came on. First garage I came to (Esso) wanted a MINIMUM of 50p to check my tyre pressures. This company are unable to provide a necessary free service despite making a profit of US$20 billion in 2017.

    Cunts.

    • Absolute cunts. I understand machines need maintenance and pikey bastards break or steal parts off the machines.. but it’s not like petrol garages are short of change or future cashflow.

      Every station for miles charge £1 for air. Fuck that, I said. Bought a tyre gauge and pumped them using a standing bicycle pump. Took 10 mins tops.

      • Your tyre gauge is almost certainly more accurate than the one on the airline, too. The pop-out ones are fine.

      • Got a nice solid analogue one for a tenner, should last a lifetime. Stole a family members bicycle pump. Can check and top up anywhere now.

        Fuck the forecourt cuntlords!

      • I purchased a Michelin tyre inflator which has a digital display, lighting (for that night adventure) and it plugs straight into the 12V cigarette lighter socket.

        A handy piece of kit.

        Fuck these greedy cunting garages and their charges. I piss in their screenwash dispensers.

  3. Great nom. I admit to being one of these cunts, and yes, I am a cunt.

    Yes, I do know that you’re waiting behind me and no, I won’t hurry up…..

    Worst one is when I drop the tyre valve cap and it rolls under the van, meaning that I have to crawl on my belly sas style to retrieve it …. the looks on their faces. I don’t care, wait cunts..

  4. You can get an electric pump and gauge for a few quid. Much easier on the blood pressure.

      • We should have a few more of them then, leading up to the massive Brexit ones which are now surely inevitable.

        I reckon they will be extremely ugly and violent, but do you know what, at 59 I will be more than happy to demonstrate as unlike our political leaders I feel this country is worth fighting for.

  7. House of Fraser rescue deal falls through. The future of House of Fraser has been thrown into doubt after news that its potential new owner has pulled out.

    Just waiting for the inevitable pension deficit announcement. Almost certainly tens of millions of pounds in deficit. And step in the taxpayer.

    Doesn’t the The Pension Regulator ever fucking learn? Who is heading up the department?

    You’ve guessed it. Another fucking useless woman in a position of authority.

    Chief Executive is Lesley Titcomb, a stupid looking woman who is thankfully standing down in February 2019 after the Carillion debacle (after the BHS/Philip Green debacle and the British Steel debacle) which has cast doubt of The Pension Regulator and its leadership.

      • Thought I was very refrained in my posting Paul.

        Not really a page 3 stunner is she.

    • We don’t have free air machines in Scotland. It used to be 20p at Tesco’s, it is now 50p. I’m surprised pikeys don’t use the free air to inflate their colons for a thrill.

      Willie – when I read your posts I always read it in the southern accent of Mr Oliver Hardy due to your avatar. I don’t think he ever swore in a film though.

      • I am absolutely certain he did not.

        Will try to refrain from expletives in future in order to maintain the impression however please forgive me when sometimes (due to my anger and blood boiling at worldwide events) this is not possible.

        Laurel and Hardy. Fantastic, innocent and brilliant slapstick comedy which is just as funny nearly 85 years later. Gone but never forgotten.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeEIFr-vslA

  8. My local garage had to remove the “Free Air” sign after the local Jewish pork butcher went manic at the sight of the word “Free” and overinflated his van tyres until he blew them clean off the rims.

    How me and Jeremy laughed.

  9. Got my own compressor setup because the garage ones are invariably shite or stolen.
    Changing motorcycle tyres is still a cunt though…

  10. I’m a big fan of L&H, and have enjoyed watching them for decades and never time of them.

    In fact these last few days I have been watching the likes of “Scram”, “The Music Box”, “Sons of the Desert”, “Way Out West” and “Pardon Me” amongst many others, and they are still make me laugh.

    They will always remain the Kings of Comedy for me.

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