Alex Salmond [9]

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Roll out the Bagpipes, warm up the Hagis, Toss the Cabar and drink a wee dram to the impending down fall of one of the most odious characters in UK Politics in recent memory, Alex fucking Salmond aka Jabba the Hut

What a supersized cunt fuck this cunt is. How joyous to see this fat, pompous fucking windbag finally getting nailed for apparent misdemeanours, and even more joyous to see Wee Jimmy Krankie Sturgeon turn her back on him. Salmond is one of the most egotistical politicians of modern times: he lorded over Scotland with an arrogant self-assurance that screamed Cunt! He was responsible for the so-called White Paper on independence, which was a 600-page fantasy based on lies, deceit and manipulated statistics. When faced with genuine questions throughout the Independence Referendum campaign his stock answer was ‘I simply don’t accept that’.

Rumours have been whispered for years about various misdemeanours, but nothing has come to the fore until now. Salmond thinks he is untouchable. His decision to sue the Scottish Government was intended to put them off going public with the accusations of sexual harassment. However, they have called Jabba’s bluff and announced that there were ‘significant inaccuracies’ in Salmond’s account, that will come out in court.

I pray that the evidence is compelling and that he becomes the latest member of the #inappropriatebehaviour club. A two-year stretch, courtesy of Her Majesty, in Barlinnie, would be just the job. I hope he ends up in the same bloc as some big fuck-off Orange hard bastards who would really prefer that Scotland stayed in the United Kingdom. Either that or an 18-stone Nationalist tranny who’s always had a crush on him.

What a cunt

Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface

46 thoughts on “Alex Salmond [9]”

  1. I must say that this news gave me almost as much sexual pleasure as he allegedly had. Then I started laughing. I am still smiling with a warm glow.
    Fandabidosi.

  2. Apparently the allegations include titty and botty fondling.
    Oh what a wonderful cunting ! I’m sure my fellow cunters will relish the forthcoming trial and all its salacious details as much as I will.
    Maybe the fat cunt will top himself.
    Endless possibilities
    Marvellous !!
    Good afternoon.

  3. Overjoyed to see this fat traitor being hauled over the coals.
    His plotting and scheming came to zero, and now he’s being thrown to the wolves. His ambitions of glory are in tatters. Not the king of the castle, but one of, (if not the), biggest losers in BRITAIN. cunt.

  4. Outstanding cunting McCuntface!

    Would fair warm the cockles of my heart to see that smug heap of dogshit receive his comeuppance.

    • Thanks RTF. I’ve a massive list of Cunts but this McCunt sits in the top 2

      Jabba, like the Cunt B Liar simply can’t be cunted enough.

      Bring on the trial.

  5. A cunting to be proud of, cunty.
    This bellend is a vainglorious and supremely arrogant wankstain, and very near the top of my long list of gits who should be hammered into the ground with a baseball bat.
    Now if only some fucker could get the goods on Wee Jimmy Krankie. I’d shit myself laughing.

  6. I bet he keeps his job on RT News with its blatant Kremlin Propaganda . Salmond and George Galloway are Putins Puppets and are well placed on this Channel of Lies and misinformation.

  8. It could be We Willie Krankie’s revenge … Maybe he couldn’t rise to the occasion when he attempted to bag pipe her. What the fuck am i thinking ? that vision will be in my head for the rest of the day now.

    • Surely Sturgeon paints the other did of the fence? She’s got that miserable, thin-lipped, teeth-clenching man-loathing aura about her. I’d put money on her strapping a vibro to her Lego head and tongue-lashing the Scotch Tory leader harpee’s bean.

  9. I am surprised that Nichola has allowed a press release in advance of an inquiry. Surely she is not attempting to castrate the man who brought her into her present position. A strange sacrifice don;t you think?….Unless of course, she is the complainant!

  10. Or she’s taking the opportunity to get rid of a threat to her leadership*.

    One hopes that for the good of both Scotland and the UK as a whole the SNP becomes embroiled in an internecine conflict.

    *I use the term in the loosest possible sense.

  11. The schadenfreude is off the charts for this particular cunter. Nothing is more satisfying than a progressive being brought down by something they helped to initiate.

  12. Can you imagine the level of Do-you-know-who-I-am-ing that came out when they called on the bug eyed fat cunt.. Sweet.
    Now, if Mandleson’s catamite comes forward and says he was chained to radiator that would round things off nicely.

  13. We may be cunts but at heart remember we are gentlemen.
    Many of us gravitate to this site because we share certain values and may I say, experiences. Orf a vanishing generation meself that is now surrounded by death (at least useful for The Pool). After caring for me old mater for nigh orn ten years, had her not far orf making the ton then killed orf by the NHS. “Prophylactic care” as it is now is called. Bugger me then shortly thereafter in distressing circumstances me beloved wife cashes in her chips. Then centre stage cue the fucking relatives. Have tried to cunt that lot but can’t hack it.
    I know many of you have/had similar difficulties and we find more remedy in ISAC than ever we do in medication and alchohol. I do not beg, I do not blub in public but is it too much to expect to be treated with some honour over mine. Me generous old arse is an easy target to ridicule. Take the piss oit orf old Limply. Use Admin Privileges to create multiple Fuck Puppet accounts to steal his noms, rub his nose in it, the old cunt has no chance getting in early with his flaky rural connection.
    Remember that fat kid at school, never got proper rugger kit, wears hand me downs, a bit orf a stutterer and slow in class. No friends, easy to tease but you all felt a little guilty when it all ended in tears? Years later you find out his mum was a single parent, there was abuse in the family and the kid was on a liquid cosh for asthma and depression.
    In Hollywood parlance there is always a back story.
    I say play the game, not the man.

  14. Alec Salmond is the Cliff Brumbie of politics: no matter how governmental this cunt may have appeared, you always knew there’d be some filth just below the epidermis!

    This greasy, unpalatable Rab C Nesbit-alike is a cunt personified!

    I hope the cunt sinks without trace, although with all the years of palm-greasing the cunt is likely to float back up like the odious turd that he is.

    Expect the cunt on the next edition of Sleb Big Brother or I’m a Sleb where all the other unknown cunts end up!

  15. Off-Topic but I just heard that it’s the Stabbing Hill Carnival today.

    There’s even going to be a float to remember Grief-fell (not that we’ve heard of much else in the last 15 months).

    No doubt the barbecues aligning the carnival with lend an authentic aroma to proceedings.

    And tomorrow we’ll be able to count off all of the “culturally enriched” incidents – should they make it onto the news…

    Keep an eye out on RT or Fox News cos it’s to be sure there’ll be “nothing to see here” as far as the AL-BEEB and Sly are concerned! Cunts!

  16. Scuffles have broken out in the eastern city of Chemnitz (Germany) during two days of protests by hundreds of people in the city centre since a German was brutally stabbed to death early on Sunday.

    Police have arrested a Syrian man and an Iraqi man on suspicion of murder.

    A far-right football fan group called Kaotic Chemnitz called out supporters to show “who is in charge”.

    Hold on a minute- Merkel invites over 1.1m immigrants (cheap labour) into Germany in 2016 which has led to countless problems for the locals.

    In this particular instance, when a local German citizen has been murdered, allegedly by a Syrian and an Iraqi immigrant, who does Merkel point the finger at for this?

    Herself perhaps? The immigrants involved in the murder perhaps?

    No, Merkel has said “vigilante justice will not be tolerated” after far-right unrest.

    Assume by this she means the local people who are fed up with her fucking nonsense, as are the rest of us.

    Time you were gone you stupid bitch.

  17. And another bit of nonsense I do not understand.

    The virtual land selling for millions. Investors are spending real money to buy land in a new city that only exists in virtual reality. Buyers can build whatever they want on their plots in Decentraland. Many hope to make a profit trading goods and services in the virtual world’s own crypto currency.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/stories-45275461/the-virtual-land-selling-for-millions

    What is going on and has the world gone completely insane or is it just me? Please tell me its not just me.

    In any event I feel old and insignificant in the world of today.

    • Oh great more fodder for the digital sheep!

      The fucking t’interweb at it’s finest.

      Some cunt should write a virus that converts posh virtual areas into virtual no-go zone “peaceful” shitholes so that the virtual elite can witness first hand what ordinary folk have to tolerate for real and what the rest of us have to put up with on a daily basis.

      Maybe some virtual human excrement smeared up their coffee shop windows and virtual pissing in the street by virtual 40yr old sub-Saharan Africunt “peaceful” children.

      There, how’s that for AI realism!

      Doss cunts!

    • Not alone WS, I cant afford bricks and mortar in the real world let alone some jackanory bullshit. Some of these cunts are bound to get scammed by some Nigerian chieftain or ‘prince’.

      • I am one of those Princes LL, I have the email to prove it.

        Just as soon as I rustle up that £3,000 administration fee I will be the crown Prince of Zamunda or was it Wakanda?

        Either way the pictures all looked better than any Africunt shithole I’ve ever seen on the telly from Marrakesh to Cape Town!

      • Wow a real prince! I have money to invest once my Ukrainian internet bride returns with my loan for her sick fathers medical bills. Ah that’s the doorbell, some nice travelling folk are here to do my roof.

  18. In the old days Fatboy’s mates would have covered this up and paid the bitches off but when you get into bed with the libtards and the feminazis you are dealing with zealots and fanatics.
    All sorts of cunts will be coming out of the woodwork to stick the boot into the cunt. I note how Wee Jimmy couldn’t wait to throw him under the bus.
    I look forward with relish to watching this smug , fat arrogant traitor being hoisted by his own petard.
    CUNT.

    • As Tommy Sherridan discovered, there in nothing quite like a feminazi scorned. When his coven of witches turned on him the sight was glorious. Fake cunt that he was.

  19. So many great cuntings above.

    Even the angels in heaven are rejoicing that one of the UKs greatest ever cunts is heading for political oblivion!!

    Fantabuloso

    • For years Squint there’s been rumours of sexual impropriety but also recurring gambling debts.

      There’s also been rumours of Superinjunctions to stop Jabba’s real persona entering the public domain.

      I truly fucking despise this bastard cunt and despite the Mc I’m not actually Scottish, just have a big affinity with the place.

      Jabba is a racist, divisive, odious, arrogant fat fucking cunt who’s sole objective, along with power, was to break up the Union.

      Like all power junkies he rested well knowing separation would have no impact on him financially, so what the hell, I’m untouchable goes the logic.

      How fucking glorious it is to see his own super inflated ego bringing him down.

      I love the word ’schadenfreude’, there’s no direct translation in the English language but we know what it means and trust the Germans to have a special word to describe the pleasure in watching a cunt fall!

      • Schadenfreude translates as “shameful joy”
        Although there’s nothing shameful about watching fatty Salmond crash and burn, it’s fucking delightful…

      • Respect cunty

        There’s been a bit tooing and froing between English lads and Scots cunts on here in the past but yous need to know there’s plenty up here can’t stand their snp divisive shite and believe we can fucking do ok as the UK standing alone …with a close relationship with europe if need be ….but not governed by the cunts. I’m more ashamed of our own countrymens behaviour than barniers…id expect it from him. It won’t work because it is being sabotaged from all sides and that’s a fucking shame . Remember when we all fucking stuck it out even though we weren’t best pals when we were jumping out if gliders ? To liberate the cunts who treat us like scum now?

        FUCKING for shame

      • “Malicious glee” is about the nearest the language of Shakespeare comes to a simple translation. As you say CMC, it does seem rather a Germanic sentiment, but for once we might enjoy the diversity…

        Fine by me. Salmong looks like he’s out of the same fucked-up mould as Fatbastard TwoJags Prescunt

  21. Fat, wobbly-jowelled cunt will now pay the price for his saucer of cold porridge.

    Delicious to see Dr Zira put the boot in. Lately in speeches, he has begun to pinch a few mannerisms from his dribbling old fossilised friend Connery.

    He will be tried by meeja like Weinstein.

    Hopefully he is now finished.

  22. I don’t think Salmond will get porridge for having a wank in his office or whatever he has allegedly done. The SNP is a group of dissatisfied people some with genuine concerns, but mostly based on fantasy and fear.

    The only way the cunts will shut up is if the result of indyref2 is worse than the last one. The mental image of Salmond having a wank in the bath has put me off my breakfast and hopefully it will put potential voters off the SNP.

  23. Totally agree with the sentiments about Soapy Salmond chaps n chapessess BUT ……….
    He’s a slippery character and this STILL has to be proved in court !!!!!
    Also remember there are 3 choices of a verdict
    Guilty ( obviously )
    Innocent ( my hole )
    Not Proven ( likely outcome)
    Mark my words he’s an odious Cunt but he’s a “ sleekit” one

    • Takes some slippery to be more slippery than your contemporaries. And Salmond was: and as long as that was directed at building up the SNP (of which I was long ago briefly a member), you might not like him, but he was doing a damn good job.

      My realisation that he was a cunt came when he steamrollered through Trump’s Aberdeenshire golf course, enabling Trump to flatten an SSSI, bully the locals, and, incidentally, lose millions.
      Guardian, sorry, but good article…
      https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/dec/20/alex-salmond-donald-trump-scotland

      I’d rather see Salmond dragged over the coals for that than for whatever gropery the sad fat cunt’s been up to.

  24. The cunt has resigned his party membership.
    It remains to be seen whether he resigns from his position with Pravda Today.

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