Microsoft updates

Not content with owning as much money as the rest of us combined, these arseholes have to spy on everything on the fucking internet.

After the recent update, I unchecked everything that would allow Microsoft to use my browsing to spy on me, but was still bombarded by advertising which I know was down to them as it was so specific.

I shut down still more and was unable to post on this website. Re-enabled my ability to post and guess what!!! The specific advertising is back again!

Well seeing as I know you’re reading this; Microsoft you’re a cunt, and Bill Gates you’re a cunt.

Nominated by Duke of Cuntshire

19 thoughts on “Microsoft updates

  1. The cunts should consider making a 2018 version of XP. Considering its one of the only decent operating systems they’ve had in recent years it would fly off the shelves

    • YES! Of course the reason they don’t is that they have to obey Rule#1 of marketing, which is to make the sucker dissatisfied with what he bought last year. The sucker is easily persuaded of this by adding bells and whistles he doesn’t need this year.

      Of course, if you’re a scientist who finds that XP is no longer supported, you don’t just have to buy/buy into Widows (sic) 10, 11, 12… you have to buy new and ridiculously expensive kit which will run it. And no kit developed this year will run on XP, so you have to replace that if you buy new kit.

      Microsoft is the epitome of all that is wrong with what used to be called monopoly capitalism but is now rebranded as globalism.

      If at all possible, use Linux. I do. Microsoft is too vast a cunt to cunt adequately, but the cunts who are still coining it from an antique DOS welded to a lousy browser – neither designed for networking, and consequently still full of security holes – while claiming to be radical and innovative – these cunts are oxygen thieving conman empire-building cunts of the highest order.

      Even if you discount the observation that Widows is likely to shut down without warning at any time to load a security patch to something you never use. Awful cunts.

  2. Working in IT as I do, it is unfortunate that the privacy setting in “Settings” doesn’t cover all aspects of your privacy. So even though you may have switched all the flags off, there are still a number active – but you can’t access these directly and can only really be done via faffing about in the registry.

    you could set up a VPN and keep those nosy cunts (Microsoft, your ISP and another nosy cunt) from what you’re doing.

    • That’s my next step – I get a free VPN with Bitdefender that I’ve yet to use because I suspect windows will shit itself (and me in the process) if I tried to introduce something like that. I’ll give it a shot later in the month.

  3. I was forced to use Windows 10 on this, my latest machine, and it’s been a world of cunt – Bluetooth connections seem to make it go fucktarded, it’s a total cunt to any browsers but their bitchass “Edge” (hah, no surprise there – https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=edge), and it acts like a fucking cell phone OS, piecemealed functionality by apps, all of which are running in the background/SPYING at all times whether in use or not. The only plus is that Win10 is what my work uses, so I’m able to do distance work reasonably easily. That nevertheless does nothing to reduce the cunt factor of Windows itself. And fuck them anyway!!

  4. Fucking computers, smash em all with a fucking sledge hammer,the world will be a nicer place

  5. What the fuck are all these constant updates? Some seem to fuck up certain applications – I had to turn the date back on my pc a couple of years ago to try to sort something one of these fuckers did. I am no nerd. The PC is just a tool so these things fucking infuriate me. The cunts.

    • One reason is that they’re trying to push you to buy into some of their products, especially OneDrive – which is a Cloud storage solution.

      So in the last update they got rid of Homegroups, which although a little dated actually worked enabling you to share files and folders on other devices on your network. But the cunts at MS binned it and now sharing involves more faffing, but they’re also quick to point out how wonderful OneDrive is!

      It is good but once you’ve used up the free 5Gb storage you have to cough up an extra couple of quid a month for an extra 45Gb – which won’t go far if you’ve got loads of large avi and mp4 files to upload and share.

      Plus if you’ve got a shedload of porn, would you want that on someone else’s server?

      So these updates are slowly forcing you to pay for apps you’re being forced into using

      Apple and Microsoft will continue to fuck up our world one way or the other.

      Cunts!

  6. Wouldn’t it be nice if my computer, bought by me using my money, and running software bought by me using my money, actually did what I want it to? It appears that’s too much to ask from cunts like Microsoft: Not content to fleece us for the software, they want to control our lives too. Truly global scale cuntitude.

    • Linux Mint is nice. Try it. Comes with most of what you’re likely to need, too. Free – just make sure you’re getting a long-term supported distro. Fixes for (rare) problems are usually easily found on t’web.

  7. As long as they don’t block here,Xhamster and torrent sites I’m happy👍

  8. I quite enjoy getting windows updates on my job laptop. Completely fucks up the bandwidth and cpu for ages, giving me a legitimate reason to not do work ah-ha!

  9. HP are cunts as well. FOUR FUCKING TIMES my HP laptop has crashed because of its shitty hardware and Windows cunting 10 hasn’t helped either through its constant updates (some of which have definitely contributed to the crashes) and lagging. Worst part is that it came with 10 so I can’t even downgrade back to 7 or even XP. If I didn’t have the bloody thing under warranty from Argos (meaning it gets fixed for free) I would’ve bought a new one ages ago.

  10. I take my laptop away with me to watch sport and films.

    I only got a laptop because it was less expensive than a “pad” of some description (the price for an A4 style one with more than 2 bytes of memory was eye-watering).

    This is a Windows 10 crate. The laptop in question may not be best of breed but it’s only a year old and no matter when, how often or how infrequent I power it on, it is unusable for 20mins at the very least.

    I stick on the task manager and watch as MickeySoft task after MickeySoft task hammer the disk continually at 100% and with bandwidth usage that must rival Virgin Media.

    And it’s all shite I’ve turned off and will never use like Cortana, Skype, Office, etc.

    All I need is Chrome (for Amazon Prime) and the SkyGO app, that’s it.

    What I do now is get to the digs, power it up first, unpack my gear. Have a shower. Go for a pint. Get a take-out. And hopefully, hopefully, it will have finished whatever bullshit it was doing so I can actually use it!

    The thing is, if you kill the tasks as they appear they keep on re-appearing. Eventually they’ll piss off but then you go into Chrome, open up a film and now the media player is fucked.

    How does killing Cortana/Skype/Office tasks also fuck up video replay!?!

    Well it shouldn’t should it, but it does.

    I have all location stuff off as well and if I put in a postcode of somewhere I’m interested in going in either Explorer, Edge or Chrome “OO! OO! Can we put location services on? PLEEEEEASE!!!!”

    Er, no, fuck off! I know where I am, CUNT, I just need to know where that postcode is, CUNT!

    Windows 3.11, Windows 98SE and Windows XP (Service Pack 2) have been the only MickeySoft OS’ that have been any good and that’s a span of over 40 years.

    Maybe if Gary Kildall hadn’t been out fishing when IBM went looking for a decent PC OS we might have had more of a chance than with Gate’s piss poor DOS offering and it’s descendents!

    Fucking cunt!

    • Sounds like my job laptop. Takes 15 mins to become usable in the morning, again quite convenient for eating up some time. The hard drive is the bottleneck.. if you don’t have an SSD drive then Windows shits all over the place.

      Instead of forming an orderly queue of tasks, many of which are useless wank nuggets anyway, they all try to work at the same time. Given all the billions these cunts earn you would have thought they would have figured out a solution to that really.

  11. I agree that these Windows updates are cunts. Every fucking time there’s an update it fucks up Chrome, fucks up my Outlook 2010 installation and fucks up my default printer. Every time. These are not unintended consequences. They’re deliberate sabotage in an attempt to force me to do everything the Microsoft way. Oh yeah, and that bitch Cortana is somehow resurrected as well.

    I hate Microsoft with a passion and only stick with their shit because I hate Apple even more.

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