Gemma Collins

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Gemma Collins. Or, ‘The GC’, as she refers to herself.

I’ve never even seen an episode of ‘Towie’ – specifically because it’s full of utter, utter cunts. From Essex. But I know much more about Gemma Collins than I would ever need to.

She’s fat, repulsively so, (not the end of the world, I like a curvy bird) but the thing that makes her repulsive is her ignorance, her pride in that ignorance, her total lack of self awareness and the fact that she genuinely believes she is an A list celebrity. Again – I don’t watch TOWIE and I’m not into the cult of celebrity but I know far too much about this fat hound.

Some sample quotes from an interview she gave to the current bun recently:-

““There’s a difference between being a diva and being an a***hole. You know: ‘Get me this, get me that.’ You’ve got to have manners,”

“I’m Gemma Collins, I’m 34 years old, I’ve earned my divaship”

“Take a good look at this. You ain’t going to ever get this candy”

To put these quotes into some context and for those of you cunts that are fortunate enough to have ever heard of her – she looks like a shit Essex Miss Piggy.

Nominated by Mecha-Rigsby

79 thoughts on “Gemma Collins”

  1. Couldn’t stop laughing at the clip of this grotesque hambeast falling through a hole in the stage at some awards do. Stupid fucking vapid cunt.

      • She seems to be a male Joey Essex. Whatever happened to that bell-end?. Perhaps he just put 20 stone on and is now Gemma Collins. She seems to be a real cunt.

      • Having read the post re “Gorgeous George”, is GC by any chance the former in a dodgy blonde syrup ?

        I have no objections to people being stupid, but when they take pride in it…

        I’m amazed there isn’t an annual “Stupidity Pride” march. Would there be enough street space ?

    • Haha, I laughed my bollocks off at that too TECB and I don’t even know who the fat cunt is. I do now thanks to ISAC. Thanks for the social enrichment people. She’s fucking gross and talentless. My synopsis in a nutshell.

  2. ‘Diva’ comes from the Latin word for goddess. What is this person the goddess of? Overeating?

  3. I didn’t read the title but when I saw the picture I thought: “Aha, a cunting for Vanessa Feltz!”

    No idea who this cunt is (which is probably more hurtful to slebs like this than calling them a cunt) but if that’s 34 then fuck me she must’ve had the Hovis kid’s paper round!

    😲

  5. “ take a good look at this, you ain’t ever going to get this candy” ? Was she holding a family sized Cadbury’s bar in each trotter MR?
    I grew up in towie country and it was the same then, lots of flash harry Cunts and woman who’s first question in a nightclub was “ what dya drive?” My retort was always the same “ a hard bargain “ the only difference is the publics unquestionably thirst to bath in their cuntish antics and for young vacuous Cunts to idolise and worship at the temple of their utter stupidity ….
    I recently went to Brentwood to see a couple of old friends and the high street was full of TOURISTS!! Doing the towie tour? WTF!! “ on the left is the famous sugarhut bar, where mark called lisa a cunt in episode 9, the sugar hut has a very colourful history it used to be a berni inn back in the 80,s where it was possible to buy a steak and chips for a fiver!”
    After in moved away some 25 years ago a mate asked me if I miss Essex? I always try too was my reply…..

    • Ah Brentford. The dingleberry on the hemorrhoid that is Romford, that is on Dagenham the anus of inner Londonistan.

      Spent some years in Chelmsford. Nice place.

      • Brentford? 😂
        Makes Brentwood look like Malibu……
        There’s some cracking villages out Chelmsford way, not everyone in Essex is a cunt it’s just a disproportionate amount of them are…….

      • Now Romfordstan. During the day it is a colourful collage of tattoed land whales pushing buggies and bootlippers hanging around the cashpoints.

      • Certainly is PM , massive change over the years that wave has been pushing out of the east end for years, lots of my family and friends used to live East Ham , Chadwell Heath and Romford etc, they have all run away into the Essex countryside, who can blame them?

    • Off point…

      Brexit threat to sandwiches screams a BBC headline ?
      Apparently the mighty sandwich could be in dire straights as our food supply chain slows down….
      How fuckin desperate is that?

      Maybe next week the BBC will run a story along the lines of brexit oxygen concerns!! In the event of no deal ( remain) we could find the EU removing the very air we breath……

      • Below is the quote on the BBC website.

        ‘Sandwiches would be one of the first victims of a breakdown in the food supply chain in the event of a disorderly no-deal Brexit, according to a senior grocery executive.’

        These fuckers defy belief. And no doubt this ‘senior executive’ lives in Wigan or perhaps Sunderland?

      • If it’s true, then any lucky cunt capturing this epic meatbag could feed a family of 4 for months.

      • My nana made the best bacon butties ever, and that was in the 60s and 70s and 80s, and without any EU snakepit…

        I had a ‘discussion’ with a classic Remoaner piece of student crap the other week… I said to them ‘We had no EU in the 1960s … And, even after the worst war in our history, the UK prospered and was the place to be… We’ve done it once, we can do it again’… So the mealy mouthed snowflake tosser snottily said, ‘Oh, so you want us to go backwards? Back to the 1960s?’… I replied, ‘Let me see… Better music, better football, better TV and radio, better films, better looking birds, better pubs with better beer and smoking, no social media, better attitude and sense of humour, no EU, no peaceful scum, no euromuck, no snowflakes offended by everything, no Me Too feminazi, no liberal leftist fascism. no ‘diversity’, no transbender circus, no reality TV, and you were a long way off being born… Like a shot, you snowflake cunt!’ You should have seen the daft slag’s face… Priceless…

      • Further off point – the BBC’s very own highest paid sleb – jug lugs Linemepockets says the people must be given a second referendum. Well, that’s it then – second referendum it is. Fuck off you wingnut lugged cunt. Being an ok ex footballer who resembles a black cab with its back doors wide open does not automatically elevate you to a “he who must be heard” status. It just elevates you a step up the cuntitude ladder.

      • Linekunt’s 2nd Referendum questions.

        Tick one box only:

        1. Stay in the European Union.
        2. Cancel UK withdrawal from the European Union.

        Note: THIS IS YOUR DECISION. THE GOVERNMENT WILL IMPLEMENT WHAT YOU DECIDE.

      • Good front cover on Private Eye this week: *MUMMA MAY-A – this summers feel-bad feature*

      • A good one from the days of BSE (which seems to have resurfaced in Flabbott, Maybot and Sourberry et al) was “It’s Gummertime, and the leaving is sleazy.”

        I remember people saying that “something was a right John Selwyn” – nice bit of cockernee rhyming slang…

      • Fuck, I was all in favour of Brexit until I saw this. Antifa must organise a riot to save Britain’s sammiches. I expect the bread will run out first, then the cheddar, then the ham. Badger makes a very acceptable ham substitute, which can also be enjoyed by Jews and peaceful cunts. Going to Tesco now to start stockpiling pickles and Shiphams chicken paste. That Bryan May is a cunt too, could it be something to do with the surname?

  6. Ouch… what a deeply unpleasant start to the day!

    Bet it stinks like a hog.

  7. Candy??!? More like rotting flyblown chip shop lard. I expect any Essex geezer drunk enough to consider banging it has already scaled mount Gemma and will now be suffering from one fuck of a case of PTSD.
    Good cunting, but we can’t discuss talentless attention whoring slebs without mentioning Katie Price, just seen a trailer for that shitfest of a tv show about her tits and it looks like she has been beaten to death with a shovel. Maybe I should cunt her plastic surgeon.

    • It’s her kids I feel sorry for, they’ve had more dads than hot dinners. As much as I hate celebricunts like her, if they choose to waste their pathetic lives whoring themselves on TV then fair dos. But I reserve utter contempt for slags like her who drag her unwitting kids through her shitfest of an existence for an equally retarded audience to gawp at and judge.

      • Harvey is an easy target for piss taking, but the cunt has no choice who his parents are. The Andre children are spectacularly unattractive given that Peter was a sex symbol and Jordan was actually hot before she went insane, but again, you can’t hold them responsible.
        Here’s the fun part, Peter Andre had a funny turn whilst preparing for a west country concert for incest aid or suchlike. Could have been Radio 1 fiddlekids on the pier special, whatever that’s not really relevant. The senior consultant at the hospital (any non sleb would have died or got better waiting to be seen) abused his authority so his daughter who was a very junior doctor in the same hospital got to meet a pop star. He only perked up, got a bone on and gave her a good seeing to. I believe they are now married with a less ugly brat. Pater not pleased! It’s all true, do your own research cos there’s other juicy stuff attached. (Hospital was Musgrove Park in Somerset.) That hanging Judge Jeffries was a cunt to, mind.

  8. Thank fuck I am blissfully unaware of this fucker. We seem to be back in Love Island territory.

  9. Just on the evidence of the above pic, anyone doing the “peace” v-sign thingy is automatically cunty.

  10. Hopefully, her health will follow on from on from her predecessor Jade Goody, although she’ll die of rectal cancer having never consumed a vegetable in her fat life.

  11. Miss Piggy? Miss Piggy, although clinically obese, has more charm and sexiness in one trotter than this cow, of whom I had never heard until this painful cunting.

    A white Flabbott would be nearer the mark, if we ignore Flabbott’s relative self-awareness. Joke, you cunts. Joke…

    • Looks like Emily Thornpiggery (aka Lady Nougat) on her way out to a white van man bukkake party.

  12. It is actually true that if you see a car with an Essex number plate the chances are very high that It’s owner will be driving like a cunt.

  13. This cunt made me laugh when she went in the jungle a few years back. The idea probably was to lose a few pounds and get a bit of airtime…yet about 16 hours of not stuffing her face and walking up a few steps she was out of there quicker than shit off a shovel. And I bet she still got paid. A nauseating, gluttonous bimbo who’s candy I’d rather not have thank you very fucking much.

  14. Christ in a gingham frock.

    You would have to roll that one in flour and ask her to then fart to give you a clue.

    That cunt has its own gravitational field.

  16. She’s not a curvy bird…

    Carol Kirkwood is a curvy bird…

    Collins is just a fat cunt…

  17. A vile self obsessed pig face looking cunt,a rat from the TV sewers of ITV2,only good for appearing on that other shit cunt Keith Lemonades show with that other fake wop guitar stealing cunt Gino De Wanko……

  18. Apparently her her dress size is ‘Mark F’.

    Yup, one size up from marquee…

  19. Towie is just another one of those shows for the What’s on TV and Daily Star ilk. It’s even worse than Love Island – at least Love Island has some sort of point to it.

  20. The v-sign puts me in mind of a cross dressing Winston Churchill.

    “We will eat them on the beaches…”

  22. Off topic, but…

    “Britain has a problem with British Pakistani men raping and exploiting white girls. There. I said it.” (Sarah Champion MP awhile ago, subsequently sacked from Labour front bench.)

    For speaking out thus and related offences, the race hate industry and their hard left peaceful loving Liebour associates are stepping up their demands for Champion’s head on a plate and deselection from her Parliamentary seat in favour of a suitably backward cunt sympathetic to the activities of Parking Stanley grooming gangs.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5993379/Javid-orders-probe-ethnicity-sexual-grooming-gangs.html

    • You don’t need an investigation it’s because their prophet mohammy did it they think they can.

  24. Rather ironic that following an invasive and painful tracheoscopy, foie gras was one of the easier things to swallow….

    • And I just want to kick Mardarse Mourinho in the bollocks, and that’s before the season has even started…

      • Mourinho.

        A specialist in drab, boring football.

        When he first came to manage Chelsea thought he was a breath of fresh air.

        Now just a predictable petulant egotistical overpaid cunt.

        Hope he gets sacked from Man U.

  27. “Take a good look at this. You ain’t going to ever get this candy”?

    Thank fuck for that… For I would rather eat fresh dog shit than screw that tub of lard… Self important narcissistic famous for nothing fat fuck…

  28. AC Milan 1-1 Manchester United (8-9 penalties): Man United win after 26 penalties…
    Twenty six fucking penalties?! City, and Liverpool must be pissing themselves… I would rather have the days of O’ Farrell or Sexton back than this cunt Mourinho and his bunch of clowns…

  29. That new Doctor Who trailer looks like a load of dog dirt… Fuck all happens and there are no classic baddies… Looked more like an ethnic minorities yoof show (ie: anything on the BBC) than the once iconic sci-fi classic it used to be…

    I’d still be up the very doable and milfmongous Jodie like a rat up a drainpipe, mind…

    • They could have done a female Doctor years ago and got a lot of fun out of it.
      This crap however will just be a smug, misandrist, white guilt lecture-fest.
      Funny how they chose a fit youngish actress for the part when a Miss Marple-style old biddy would have been much truer to the show’s history.
      BBC cunts…

    • My 13 year old son gave up with Dr Who halfway through the Matt Smith era in 2012 (when about 8 years old) . Loved Christopher Eccleston and David Tenant. And Matt Smith.

      Said suddenly one day- I don’t understand it anymore and its rubbish.

      Understand has gone further downhill since then into the PC bollocks we have now. Hope it fails big time, rather suspect it will.

  30. They say isn’t adele and gemma a bunch of cute busty biitches I say no because theres nothing “cute” about being a overweight dolled up land whale with no talent !

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