Elderly suicides

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What the fuck is it with all these old cunts offing themselves? Jayzus, Joseph and Mary. I had to sledge back a cup of Suicide News after Kate Spade and now that canny cunt and restaurateur Bourdain is gone. Proof that you never get too old to feel around for a noose.

But what the Fuck? You’re, old rich and successful and that is reason enough to bite the cyanide? Fucking pricks these days have no stamina. Everything and nothing. It started with Robin Williams and now it’s a fucking trend. Every time I drive through the Robin Williams tunnel I have to worry I’ve got early onset dementia. Lets not build a monument to every cunt that hangs themselves, even if they’re a fucking funny cunt.

I’ve had to deal with a stroke that paralysed me at the age of 31. Fought my fucking way back, largely due to training as a model and a journalist and I’m not going to boohoo #metoo, Fought Addiction, (Haw, Haw, it’s never addiction if you’re not drinking alone) and generally steppin’ on sticky shit as I pass through the house with five kids on soda and do I want to open throat the pill bottle? No.

So what is going through these cunt’s heads? They’re leaving teenagers to flail around and carry deep-seated trauma throughout their lives instead of manning the fuck up and dealing with the life changes that accompany getting older. Cunts.

Nominated by CallAngel

69 thoughts on “Elderly suicides”

  1. If I have just read something right then this country is a fucking disgrace and should be ashamed of itself.
    There is a six metre balloon that shows Trump as a nappy-clad orange baby and it has been given the all clear to fly over Parliament during President Trumps visit.
    From the 13 July this giant balloon will be flying from Parliament Square Gardens.
    Whether people like Trump or not it is fucking disrespectful to Trump and his supporters.
    Once again this cuntry is run by cunts for cunts. The fucking hunchback May should put a stop to this. Trump may or may not laugh at this but we know that he is thin skinned. As for trade deals with this country would you blame him for telling us to fuck off, I wouldn’t.

    • I wonder if someone had wanted to fly a similar balloon depicting Obama as a monkey, would that have been acceptable?
      Like or loath Trump.his office,if nothing else,demands respect.

    • The cunts who think this is clever or makes a statement should grow up and be ashamed of themselves. Trump might be a cunt but he is an elected cunt who leads our allies, the American people. If this shit was directed at almost any one else it would be howled down as hate mongering. Utter cunts.

  2. I’m afraid that I have no feelings of sympathy for people who commit suicide. I don’t mean the ones who have terminal illnesses and wish to spare themselves and their family from the horror of a long, drawn-out, painful death.
    I mean the ones who suffer a setback,financial or divorce,that sort of thing, who top themselves and leave their family to clean up the mess. An acquaintance of mine shot himself over financial problems and left his wife, with three small children, in a hell of a predicament. It was the act of an utterly selfish, cowardly man.
    I’d never top myself,I wouldn’t want to give anyone the satisfaction. Anyhow, I plan to be a terrible burden on the State in my old age until they finally admit defeat and some Cunt puts the,probably inevitable, pillow over my moaning face and spares us all.

    Fuck them.

    • It was even more selfish of this acqaintance of yours not to murder a politician first. I reckon anyone who’s considering offing themselves has a moral obligation to kill an undesirable or two.
      ‘Twas a terrible shame that no-one managed to explode themselves at that recent Labour “day of fun” or whatever the fuck it was called.

      • Where are my manners?
        I forgot to bid you a good afternoon, Mr F.

      • Good Afternoon, Mr. Cunt-Engine. You’ve got a point,if everyone bumped off at least one politician before croaking,the world would soon be a much more acceptable place.

      • Agreed, TTCE.

        Fake passport in name of Tanweerd al-Goatfuq’r, walk into Wetminster or local student union, spend one’s last moments cleaning up society as the plastic goes off.

  3. Shot himself Mr Fiddler? If I had access to a gun I have a long list of cunts to deal with before I turned the fucking thing on myself. In fact I would have run out of ammo long before that had even crossed my mind.
    The bloke was indeed a cunt.

    • I sometimes wonder if people realise just how many firearms are actually legally held in this country,Freddie. Farmers,landowners,sportsmen etc. all have access to a fair old arsenal including shotguns and high-powered rifles. We are not the “unarmed” population that many assume.

      • You havent included the potential architects, brain surgeons and rocket scientists of Londonstan in that list Dick. They seem to be well tooled up.

  4. All these cunts who top themselves believing that the next life around, things will be a lot better, are nothing more than deluded cunts.!

    If you believe in the sky fairy, and another or endless string of lives , then you are a fucking idiot! Throwing away your only exposure to life ( good or bad ) is a one off. Suck it up for fucks sake !

  5. Robin Williams did the right thing. I would recommend anybody who gets a diagnosis of Lewy Body Dementia to follow his example, if you don’t you will go through a hell on earth, trust me.

    • Was about to post same Jack.
      It took my poor old Mum over 25 years to fade away from that fucking horrible disease.
      First goes the sanity, them the personality (replaced by paranoia), then all but the strongest memories, along with loss of mobility.
      Her passing was a blessed release, Willliams did the right thing for himself and his loved ones.
      And he was brilliant as the creepy cunt in “Insomnia”

      • I’m sorry to hear that. I know what you went through, and it’s a cunt.

  6. Fuck those who choose to top themselves on the railways. The driver has to deal with all the stress and service is delayed or cancelled. A lot of the time it’s an idiot doing graffiti and steps out in front of a train.

  7. With all due respect I can’t agree with this cunting. If you decide that you’ve had enough and you’ve nothing else to live for, it doesn’t matter how old you are or how ill you are, in my view you should be able to choose to exit stage left in the easiest way possible. Who has more right than yourself to decide when the time is right? The problem is finding a painless way to do it. I hear that going the Dignitas way isn’t exactly free from discomfort and also costs a fortune. It should be like in Soylent Green where you can watch and listen to something pleasant of your choice and just drift off into permanent unconsciousness.

    • RTC
      Has it occurred to you that you are unlikely to get it back?

      • Yes… but I trust my fellow Cunters implicitly Cuntstable. Don’t you?

        Apart from that, I will of course require at least 2 professional references… passport, driving licence, Tesco Clubcard, name (optional) & address (strictly for repo purposes only).

        In addition all applicants must undergo a thorough briefing… debriefing… and be numbered according to standard Dewey decimal practice before lights out.

        Finally all applicants will be filed, stamped and index linked to footsie top 100. This last is a requirement by law.

        Be seeing y’all! 🤗

    • The Labour Party Suicide Club seeks new members
      Old Premiers B,Liar & G Brown welcome as members.

  9. There are two issues I have with this nomination.

    1) please define elderly (as per the nomination title)

    And

    2) in what way is Robin Williams funny?

  10. Well one good thing about someone topping themselves earlier than expected is that the next of kin won’t have to wait years to get their hands on the will and find out how much the cunt left them!

  11. I must say I’m feeling rather jolly this afternoon, it’s because I’ve just been reading about some poachers who broke into a game reserve in South Africa. The workshy cunts were intent on slaughtering the herd of rhino in order to saw their horns off, unfortunately for them, they got bushwacked by a pride of lions. Rangers have found a head, limbs (miscellaneous ) and three pairs of shoes, the rest of the poachers bodies are presumably being digested by Leo and his chums as they snooze under a Baobab tree.
    The shoes have been donated to poor Umbongo, as he is going through shoe leather at a fearsome pace on his 47 mile trek to the shit contaminated water well.
    I like lions.
    Good afternoon.

    • Let’s hope the lions weren’t poisoned after munching the delicious Um Bongos.
      Perhaps a similar incident will occur in Blighty and a pride of lions escape from the West Midlands safari park, head straight for Brum and scoff a m0sque full of disgusting peacefuls.

    • Good afternoon Jack

      Great story with a happy ending.

      Shame they weren’t able to get that American dentist cunt who killed that beautiful lion. To be honest hoping that he might had a dose of his own medicine courtesy of a crazed US gunman. Where are they when you need one?

  12. Personally feel that if someone does not want to be around anymore for whatever reasons they have they should be allowed to be put out of their misery.

    Life can be incredibly hard sometimes and often people are not mentally strong enough to get themselves out of the rut they are in, and in many cases it is not and never will be possible.

    From what I have read about our so called caring society there are less and less funds, and less and less advice and counselling available for desperate individuals in need of support. Rather than prolong their agony think it is perhaps kinder to let them go if that is what they really want.

    There will always be selfish people in life who only think of themselves. I lost my first wife 19 years ago. As low and depressed as I was I had responsibilities to both my young daughters who were 8 and 10 at the time. They helped me to focus and to remain strong to the cause of being a good father. It would have been entirely selfish of me to put myself before my children.

    Not everyone has a good reason to live, perhaps unable to find work, unable to have a stable lifestyle or to have the fortune of a supporting family or friends. And for these people life will always be tough, and offering them a humane way out seems a logical and kind thing to do.

    Perhaps I will reconsider my opinions with arguments and points put forward by fellow cunters.

    Regarding Robin Williams, not necessarily rib achingly funny but in a few great films a terrific actor.

  13. Like a lot of things in life, judgements on suicide should be made on a case by case basis.
    For some, a selfish act, for others the only way out.
    A double edged sword of which I can see both sides.
    All I do know is that life is precious. Oil and gold mean fuck all. Time is the most important commodity of all.
    Spend it with the people you like, spend it with the people you love….

  14. Been giving this matter a lot of careful thought and consideration.

    72 virgins… To be or not to be, and all that guff… that is the question. Then again, why fucking 72? Bit of a tall order at my time of life to be honest. More a young man’s game really. A couple of dirty slag nurses and a tea time assortment of dangerous drugs would probably suit me better right now.

    No doubt explains why not a lot of coffin dodging peacefuls go in for all this Jihadi tomfuckery.

    Now, if Allah (his teeth be knocked down his throat) could set me up with Isabel Hardman and Kate McCann (the journalist, not the alleged child killer) instead… then we could be talking business.

    • @Ruff

      Why are you concerned with your “heavenly reward?”. It’s clear to me from reading your posts that you long ago sold your soul to the devil.

      😁 😈

      • Evening General.

        To be honest I have long given up ascribing motives to my psychotic aspirations. The devil once told me Hitler and Goering spent most of their time in Hell fighting over cream cakes, ffs! Is that what it all boils down to in the end? You couldn’t fucking make it up.

      • And good evening to you Ruff,

        Sisyphus gets doomed to roll a giant rock up hill for all of eternity and Hitler and Goering eternally fight for cream cakes. (From the look of him I’m guessing fatso Goering wins more than he loses.). Apparently the Devil does have an ironic sense of humor.

        As for psychotic aspirations…if we understood the motives…they wouldn’t be psychotic.

        🤔 🤕 💊 💉

  15. Not sure I’m sold on suicide as a tactical option, but must say the thought that it would leave a selection of snowflakes milling about trying to cope in the back blast would be the least convincing reason not to do it… maybe more snowflakes should consider it, as the article seems a bit agist…

  16. I got no problem with cunts offing themselves if the dependents are off the dime. They’ve got their own lives to lead. It’s the ones that don’t stick it out past the loin-fruit’s childhoods that grind my gears. Fuck. Life aint easy, thats fer fuckin’ sure. But I’d never off myself even if I was off the planet munted. Had a friend who’s Mother drowned herself in the harbor when she was ten. Ultimate selfish act.

  17. The Mayor of London is an utter Cunt. What a twat burger. Imagine the outcry if Sadiq Khan visited 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW to be met by a balloon depicting him in diapers. Which he should be in because he’s fuckin’ young for a Mayor. And ineffectual as fuck. Cunt.

    • Suckdick is a fucking disgraceful cunt.

      Absolutely no morals, no manners, no respect, no intellect and no idea.

      Very happy I relocated to Suffolk from London 25 years ago next month.

      In the political arena after Blair I am struggling to think of anyone other than Suckdick to put at number 2.

      • Bullshit Cunstable! His Dad…assuming he knows who that was…was a goat fucker and a camel jockey.

        Fucking Khunt!

    • Very keen to tell us his dad was a bus driver, never mentions that his gandad used to wash elephants….

  18. According to Fox News:

    “The U.K. government has reportedly told President Trump he must not meet Brexit architect and former U.K. Independence Party leader Nigel Farage when Trump visits the U.K. ater this month.”

    I wonder who “your” government is more afraid of? Trump or Farage? It has to be one or the other because it sure as hell ain’t the voters. Fucking cunts!

    As this thread is about suicide perhaps that cunt Khan would do the world a favor and improve living conditions in Londonistan and dispatch himself. Fucking cunt!

    • I really hope that Trump just tells them to get fucked, and goes ahead and meets up with Nigel anyway.
      What the fuck can HM Government do about it, arrest him?
      Worthless fucking pricks…

      • If Compo Corbyn says one thing he’s a fucking hypocrite, didn’t stop him meeting the IRA, Hammas or associating with anti semites.

  19. Back on topic…

    With regard to suicide…I watched my love fight and die of cancer. She suffered horribly at the end. She chose to go that way. I will not.

    As a hardcore Libertarian I feel that if you croak yourself…that’s your business. If you’re terminally ill and in pain than go…with my blessing…to meet your maker.

    If your depressed and lonely…get a cat…seek professional help…grow a set of balls (or ovaries as the case may be) and suck it up. I get it. Life sucks. Maybe you didn’t ask to come to the party…and you have every right to leave it. But don’t expect the rest of us to stay and clean after you.

    As for Bourdain…he was a World Class cunt. A fucking nobody who made his living hurting people in order to feel better about his miserable junkie life. It’s no surprise the narcissistic cunt torched himself.

    However, the other point to be made here is the Progressive New World Order’s obsession with controlling the population through death. They have championed unlimited infanticide/abortion for years. Now Soros and his kind have discovered suicide. It’s taylor made for a generation of millenial cunts who haven’t been taught to deal with reality as it exits outside of their safe spaces.

    • Wholeheartedly endorse those first three paragraphs General.

      (Not qualified to comment on the last two).

    • It’s been suggested that there MIGHT be something suspect about Bourdain’s suicide…
      I don’t have any particular opinion as yet.

  20. JR Cuntley. Wot you said. Seems to me you spend part of yer life in a frizzle until you realise you only have one life. And it’s up to yaself to make the most of it. But wot I know is no cunt is going to push me off the ledge. You come into this world alone and you go out alone. On your own terms if need be.

    • @Cali

      Off topic but I have a world class food hangover today.

      The hit pie was strawberry/rhubarb. It was the bomb! The pecan was awesome as well and a close second.

      • Alas HBH I don’t…and I love Key Lime Pie

        I’m not much of a baker. Being a man with a significant perchantage of Neanderthal DNA I stick to cooking meat with fire. In modern day terms that’s in the charcoal smoker or on the charcoal grill.

        There were many people at our America Birthday Bash yesterday and everybody brought something. Some of the ladies brought pie!

        I ate waaaaaay too much yesterday and today I’m moving like a snail.

        🇺🇸 🎂 🎇 🎆 🔥 🍖 🍗 🍔 🌭 🌽 🍉…

        If I come across one I’ll post it.

  21. Spell check is also a tool of the New World order. That should be tailor and not taylor.

    😫

  22. I don’t have a clue why Bourdain would off himself, the cunt got to travel the world and eat great food and to have that as a paying job seriously wtf you got to be depressed about?! I’d kill for a easy job like that

    Not to sound too conspiracy theory minded but he was either murdered or he was tired of being a bitter pretentious foodie cunt, its one of or the other. Also he rejoiced at harvey weinstein going to jail tweeting on intsagram “Last night I hear toothbrushes scrapin’ on the floor..” BYE BYE, dickhead”

  23. Alas HBH I don’t…and I love Key Lime Pie

    I’m not much of a baker. Being a man with a significant perchantage of Neanderthal DNA I stick to cooking meat with fire. In modern day terms that’s in the charcoal smoker or on the charcoal grill.

    There were many people at our America Birthday Bash yesterday and everybody brought something. Some of the ladies brought pie!

    I ate waaaaaay too much yesterday and today I’m moving like a snail.

    🇺🇸 🎂 🎇 🎆 🔥 🍖 🍗 🍔 🌭 🌽 🍉…

    If I come across one I’ll post it.

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