Cash Only businesses

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Cash Only businesses are cunts, aren’t they?

Could anybody elucidate me on this matter: A commercial business opens, perhaps a hairdresser or a restaurant/café. They then display a sign saying “Cash Only.” This means they can bypass any paper trail of receipts and consequently pay fuck all in tax.

Sometimes the sign is on the front window! How audacious can they be? It’s as if they’re bragging about avoiding the taxman!

Ubiquitous culprits of this include Romanian hairdressers, tiny shops with aggressive-looking Kurdish “barbers”, and any “restaurant” selling Asian food.

Why aren’t these places being raided? I understand the Police are busy arresting Tommy Robinson or people who’ve got hurt feelings on the internet but meanwhile these fuckers are creaming it in. They want all the benefits from society without contributing anything. Have HMRC indefinitely closed down?

Dirty, money-grubbing, tax-dodging, gold-toothed rats.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

“Cash only” displayed in the window dahn my manor generally indicates the willingness orf the proprietor to deal in a civil manner with those little exigencies in life that require to be sorted orn a mahn to mahn basis. IE cashola available for protection to the local firm, local plod and local enterprise for such as a spot orf diesel, some gas or electric or a no strings attached installation orf SKY or NETFLIX ect ect.

Supported by Sir Limply Stoke

64 thoughts on “Cash Only businesses”

  1. We came to England through the tunnel Last night, we claimed asylum & they’re treating us right
    Something tells me this is the sister place to be, cause we are getting everything, and we are getting it for free.
    Our friends in parliament are all on our side, sometimes they talk tough, but you know it’s a lie. Immigration is a good thing, on that we all agree, the only ones to stop it are the wicked BNP.
    We take our trollies round Tesco each day, we pile it high with groceries, oh that is the way. Phone cards, food & drink, CD’s & blue jeans, old lady she got angry, so we stole her baked beans.

    • All together now… I’ve got a brand new leather jacket and a brand new Vodafone…

  2. It’s not ideal Capt and quite agree on the need to nail these tax dodging cunts but it’s preferable to the opposite ie “ cards only acceptable”. That insidious trend is becoming ever more the norm.
    So one day, whenever I buy a cup of tea at the community centre fundraiser or want to leave a few quid in the retiring collection at a funeral, or even a Big Issue seller, I’m gonna be confronted by some cunt waving a PIN machine am I ? Fuck off….what’s wrong with the status quo?!

  3. The Romanians love a car valet. They’re everywhere in my area; even at fucking Tescos. Obviously they’re using this as a front for their drug dealing and trafficking business. The old bill must know about this but are too afraid to do anything about it; in fear of breaking the PC code and being labelled a raysis.

  4. I insist on using my credit card for everything now that the cunts can’t surcharge me. Booked an expensive holiday and got enough vouchers for a whole weeks shopping. 1% cashback just for using the card to buy the stuff I would have bought anywsy? Works for me!

    Want me to use cash? Give me a discount!

    Fuck ’em.

  5. Cash is independence, if we do ever become a cashless society that will give the powers that be an awful lot of control. Having said that, it is only right that businesses pay their dues, and that is down to government.
    Good evening.

  6. Project Fear Part 2

    1. No Cheese
    2. Stockpile food
    3. Brexit worse than the IRA
    4. Brexit worse than Nazi Germany
    5. No flights
    6. Motorway truck parks
    7. Civil unrest
    8. No Doctors or Nurses
    9. Won’t be allowed travel to Europe.

    The heat is sending the Remainer Cunts mad…

    • All we need on top of that lot is a bit of Chicken Licken and the fucking sky will fall in.

      These remoaning cunts really are cunts.

      • The drought! You forgot to blame the drought and subsequent hosepipe ban on Brexit. It wouldn’t be so hot now if those waycists hadn’t had the balls to vote for Brexit.

        Also my neighbour’s dog is ill. Damn Brexit’s eyes.

      • 10. gigantic fire breathing spiders who eat babies
        11. dr who as a transgender muslim to punish real fans of the show

        All because racists wanted to leave the third reich the EU smdh

  7. https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/44921158

    Mesut Ozil

    German/Turkish fucking useless bug eyed cunt footballer.

    Despite being on a club salary of £15.6m a year does not like being criticised for his poor play for the German national team in which I believe he has been on the winning side in only 2 of his last 15 matches.

    Now playing the racist card to mask his poor performances.

    One German manager has said that he is shit, and that they plan their strategy around him, being the weakest link in the opposing team.

    “Your shit and you know you are” is the relevant chant I think.

    • Anyone would think this kebab eating cunt was top class…
      The Krauts have admittedly been spoilt with class midfielders: like Franz Beckenbauer, Wolfgang Overath, Pierre Littbarski, Lothar Matthäus… But this grasshopper goggle eyed flute isn’t one of them…

      • Ozil plays one good game for the Goons, then is invisible for the next two. Germany were toilet at this year’s Pompous Cup and this bug-eyed 6/10 player knows it.

    • “Mesut Ozil, his eyes are offside”…

      being the other chant one reaches for in these circumstances.

      Woolwich Nomad Cunt.

    • “Al-BBC is proud to present the hottest new game show on television. Yes, it’s ‘Play Your Race Cards Right’, so please put your hands together for your host…………MESUT OZIL”

  8. Our local Indian only takes CASH for home deliveries ?? When you call the cheeky the Cunt always says the card ( tax) machine is not working so it’s gotta be cash?
    So my question to you fellow cunters is how much tax revenue is the Cunt declaring?

    A …. he’s a genuine Cunt and 100%?

    B…. he’s a lying cunt who uses the NHS , schools and all facilities to the full and pays absolutely nothing?

    • Or C….Cash is sent back to the old country and his extended family live like maharajas in the biggest house in the village.

      • Oldest trick in the book, Quisling. “Hello please! Velly sorry, card machine not working. Everything written down in scrawled writing so you cannot be seeing the additional drinks and poppadoms. Cash only, kind sir. My sons’ private school is velly expensive. Hello please.’

      • Yep LL…..
        it’s certainly not spent on the NHS roads or schools etc etc … 😡

      • I reckon that’s a DAILY figure, not annual, ffs google and amazon pay less tax than our local newsagent.

      • I agree RTC. It’s the same part of Govt stuffed with high-flying but useless Oxbridge statisticians who play “Guess the Net Immigration” and Unemployment numbers.

  9. That fat Iranian sow Camilla Batmanghilish was handing out envelopes of cash to BMW driving Darkies,no questions asked. She was aided and abetted by Alan Yentob, who went against his every instinct and apparently gave this money away without slyly pocketing 25%. Very unlike a thrifty person to be so careless with money. I bet he’d have been a sight more vigilant if it was his own.
    That pig-fucking Cunt Cameron also colluded by handing over £3 million on top of the other £42 million that her “charity” had already received from the taxpayer. Still nobody has been charged. That fat blubber-whale might have nothing valuable to seize,but Yentob and Cameron certainly do.

    I’d love to see that treasure-hoarder cough up some of his ill-gotten gains…and Cameron too. Cameron’s wife is a horse-faced woman…perhaps David enjoys fucking all the animals of the farmyard. It’ll be a goat next..old Jeremy Corbyn had better keep his flap shut or The Eton Toff’ll be shoving his diseased maggot in there as well.

    Fuck them.

  10. Our gimmeegrant arrivals always work in cash industries. Look at your local Taxi rank, your local takeaway. No cards, just cash. No trail. Benefits and a pay day ! Fucking amazing. I remember seeing no less than 35 mohammeds on one lorry. DOB Always 1st jan, year plus or minus 10. We are fucked gemtlemen!

    • If we are to be fucked then I think that we should at least have the pick of the definitive date that seals our fate, for good or ill. I suggest the 25th of October, in whatever year seems appropriate.

    • On arrival our gimmeegrant friends know 2 things
      Firstly where to bang on for every benefit known to man
      Secondly, they most definitely know their way around a pound note…. ( coin) 😂

  11. Cash only is a brave last step in a card only economy.
    It’s not just dodgy foreign run businesses and businesses concealing
    money laundering that demand cash only. Small Subway franchises
    often require cash only due to the exorbitant minimum transaction fees required
    by card processing machine companies.

    Small businesses such as hair dressers are unlikely to turn over
    in excess of £80000 a year meaning they don’t have to register for VAT anyway.

    Imagine going into a shop for a bottle of water at £1.90 to find
    that the minimum card transaction fee is £5? Do you buy the water
    at £5 and get nothing with the remaining £3.10, or do you go to the
    cash machine and get £10 and keep the change? Cash should be the
    preferred method of payment because then you only get the thing
    if you can afford it.

    • Then how could it be proven that the shop made any sales? They just pocket most of it but continue using facilities that everybody else pays for via taxes.

      Every hairdresser I see (there are plenty near me) employs a minimum of three people, usually four or five. They definitely earn over £80000. All Romanian/ Iranian / Kurdish/ Lithuanian, etc. Not only is not a penny going towards tax, they’re possibly claiming housing and Income Support as well. Pretty good moolah for running a clipper over a noggin.

      • I know women’s hairdressers can charge a fortune but say for example a men’s barber shop at £10 on average for gents haircut (Glasgow prices).

        Say a small shop with 3 barbers:
        £80000/3=£26000 taken per barber per year.
        £26000/10=2600 haircuts per barber per year.
        2600/260 working days per year=10 haircuts per day.

        I think that would be a bit near the limit. 10 haircuts constantly every day. That would be hell.

        I don’t think a significant loss in revenue is a good reason to make small businesses more accountable. Most of the barber’s in Scotland seem to be fairly honest and not openly bragging about claiming benefits whilst being a barber…

        They should be paying NI and income tax though.

    • All true but they are still required to pay income tax …..
      My local tandoori is a 50 odd seat restaurant which requires a booking Friday and Saturday night, you can pay with a card there but they refuse to take card payments on the phone ( machine broken) funny that……

  12. Dodgy businesses have always used cash. Fine old tradition. And cash is the only way you can be quite certain (bar daylight robbery) that you actually possess a medium of exchange, independently of the thieving banks who would like your entire existence loaded onto their monster C drives.

    Small businesses like to keep it simple, stupid, and cash keeps it simple. It’s a level playing field for natives and gimmegrants alike. Might be more sympathetic to the proposition if every single transaction didn’t have to pay (1) VAT and (2) hidden charges to some leviathan bank. And when you’re just doing odd jobs for neighbours, how the hell is that supposed to work? Interbank transfer for an hour at £10?

    Sorry, cannot agree with the cunting. Sure, illegals use cash. Hardly grounds for stuffing all the marginal earners, is it?

  13. UK heatwave: Met Office says stay out of the sun.

    Fucking genius from the Met Office.

    • UK heatwave. LOL.

      You’re ‘avin’ a giraffe. It was 104 here on Friday. That’s 40 degrees to you Celsius/Centigrade folks. Now THAT’S toasty. Quit whining.

      Best part is, no hose pipe ban either. Get in!

      • I should point out that we do have air conditioning fucking everywhere. Unlike the UK where air conditioning is opening a window. Hahahaha.

      • Youngest daughter in Kyoto, Japan. Yesterday 41.1 Celsius.

        I start melting at 37 degrees.

      • Jeez Willie – that’s a tad warm.

        I saw from one of your recent posts that we share a common interest. Oriental women! I snagged myself a Japanese girlie – well she’s 50% Japanese – but you sir, appear to have indulged a full 100%. Well done that man!

        I hear tales of Japan from her and her dad and I understand that not only can it get mega hot in Japan, it’s insanely humid too. Not sure where Kyoto is in relation to Osaka, but that’s where their family is from.

        My PC desktop is currently a very cute picture of Maria Ozawa. Enjoy!

        https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3BG95wAdo0Y/UCjxnL-8HcI/AAAAAAAAAD4/Zw_b0uwuTUo/s1600/Maria+Ozawa+(2).jpg

    • What’s the target demographic? They won’t cut any ice with mad dogs and Englishmen.

  14. Sir Limply mentioned ‘no strings attached’ Sky installations. It reminded me of a time way back when (1992 – 1996 ish) where if you allegedly knew the right people, you could allegedly get knock-off Sky smartcards which allegedly turned on all the Sky channels allegedly for a one-off payment allegedly to said person. If memory allegedly serves, Sky were always trying to change some coding signal or some such thing which bricked these smartcards, so you allegedly just bought another knock off allegedly and away you went. To borrow a phrase from dear old B&W Cunt, I know/knew nufffinck aaabbbaaaarrttt it. Does anyone know if that alleged practice still works? Just curious.

    • I don’t think those no strings attached Sky card work. 1992-1996 was old analogue Sky, before Sky Digital. Now the boxes can be connected by phone lines and internet connections for “On Demand” services. It will be logging every single thing you watch.

      I think about that when I watch the 10 minute Adult Channel previews! They know your IP address and your phone number probably. If you’re watching something you aren’t entitled to it will flag up on some system and then they’ll investigate. If the box isn’t connected to a phone line or internet connection it will block the channels after 90 days (probably sooner) if the box can’t phone home. Sky have invested millions in copy protection and DRM. You have to pay the cunts £10 a month to record free-to-air channels even if you just have the Freesat From Sky package. I don’t think it would be that easy to circumvent. Best to buy a Humax Freesat box if you just want to record free-to-air channels if you want that.

      • Cheers Anton. Now you mention it, I vaguely recall the switch to digital knocked this alleged fiddle on the head.

        Things have moved on considerably since I relocated to Yankland. I see mention of these Freesat boxes from time to time. Never seen one or have any idea what they do, but they sound great. Like the UK Sky victims, I’m stuck paying through the nose for hundreds of channels 99% of which are crap. I mean, how many home shopping channels do you need FFS? Cheers – IY.

    • I’m stuck with Virgin tv at the mo (landlord’s arrangement), and following some row, they’ve changed over a lot of their programmes suppliers.

      About 50% of channels selected this pm resulted in a pop-up telling me to phone Virgin. Can’t be arsed, with any luck someone will off the Branston cunt. It’s more likely to be tv probs than anything else that drives someone to kill…Just saying/hoping…

  15. Coincidently I was thinking of writing up a similar cunting, sorry Komodo but I disagree with you disagreeing.

    I run a small business out of my van. Turnover is many times higher than the VAT threshold so it would be very difficult for me to fly under the radar, actually virtually impossible. I do plenty trade work so paying VAT is not much of an issue to those clients. However it seems standard practice for the retail clients to assume I would take cash and forgo collecting the VAT.

    Everyday, virtually every single retail client suggests we do a no VAT cash deal. WTF ! I don’t even know the cunt and he is asking me to commit a crime in broad daylight so to speak. If we get caught it’s actually me who gets caught. I stand to lose everything I have worked for so I can save some cunt I don’t know a few quid. He walks Scot free !

    Ask yourself this question if you are in the position where you can take cash from one of your customers and save them the VAT. WHO ARE YOU HELPING ?

    It’s of no real benefit to you. Sure, you have a bit of cash to blow on some meals, a TV or some extra drinks while you are on holiday. But when it really counts such as when you are driving on shit roads, you don’t get the medical care you expect, your pension isn’t enough to really live on and you have to eat cat food when you are old and alone, education standards are down and classrooms are cramped, crime is up because there arent enough police, etc etc etc. all because we allowed some cunt get away with not paying his share.

    I’m actually a foreigner. Been here 6 years and I am astounded at the level of tax dodging that goes on in the UK. There’s another economy running in the UK that is totally undetected and it’s hurting the country big time.

    As for me I have lost many many thousands of £’s in turnover and profits because I insist the VAT gets paid. Cutting of my nose I suppose but fuck em, pay your share or fuck off !

    • Agreed. Skimping on taxes puts you one step closer to being a total pikey cunt, much like a certain community of top spec range rover towing caravan dwelling parasites.

      Yeah taxes suck, and it gets squandered. But that’s the game we play to get a certain standard of society. Whilst most would rather not pay taxes, they would definitely not like to be a pikey cunt merchant.

    • I was thinking of a much lower income – they do exist. Fine if you’re over the VAT threshold and you no doubt can afford an accountant to do the donkey work. Or if you’ve got a card reader to present to the old dear whose hedge you’ve just trimmed.

      I think there’s an element of snobbery re self-sufficient-but-only-just workers here. I’ve been one – I’m not now – and I think you’d see it differently if you had.

      • Not snobbery. It’s like queues.. they only work properly when everyone accepts that’s the way we’re going to play and people don’t do a mad scramble.

        No one likes a queue jumper. We’d all like to get where we’re trying to get to faster, of course. It sucks, its totally a human invented game of patience, but it’s worth it so we don’t have to kill each other instead over something trivial.

      • All I can say is that a digital economy works fine until it doesn’t. All it takes is a solar flare or a bright spark betting the farm on unsecured derivatives. Then we’re back to cash. (When that goes tits-up we’re back to barter and killing each other). My gut reaction to card vs cash is that card is yet another opportunity for financiers to enrich themselves without doing a hand’s turn while agglomerating the peasants into a global control structure.

        But I’m aware I’ve moved off-topic. The cunting was of cash-only businesses. The implication being that having a card reader makes them honest. It doesn’t. It puts them in the league of cunts with savvy accountants who don’t need to use cash to defeat HMRC.

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