Tourists

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Tourists

Not every tourist is a cunt. When I go on holiday, I’m a bloody tourist. Whether the locals think I’m a cunt is up to them; I’m not too bothered. I go on holiday to sit on a beach with the hope of looking like a sun-dried tomato when I return home. I don’t go on holiday to make people’s lives a misery with my obnoxious behaviour, oversized backpack and wank selfie stick. However, as I mentioned before, not all tourists are cunts; just a vast majority of them.

First of all we have the boozy Brit cunts. I’m ashamed to be from the same island as these fuckers. A mix of obese beer-bellied arses, randy used-up old slappers and arrogant jacked-up Danny Dyer wannabe pricks. All from rough council estates and on benefits. The locals must despair of them.

Then we have the stereotypical Yank tossers with their straw hats, binoculars round their necks, distasteful Hawaiian shirts, cargo shorts and not forgetting the socks with sandals combo. A whole gang of them clustered round Leicester Square or outside Fuckingham Palace. Huge Canon cameras and oversized maps to hand, obviously.

The worst of all are the fucking Chinks and Jap bastards. Endless groups of them and they are fucking everywhere. Taking pictures of everything from a pavement pizza outside the local pub to a homeless bloke who’s just overdosed on smack and is mid-seizure. This country is plagued with foreigners. Everywhere you look there is at least one. Sometimes I go out thinking I’m in a different country altogether. Fuck off.

Nominated by, Jayniño

 

23 thoughts on “Tourists”

  1. Nice to see the young lady above is conducting her tour of Auschwitz with a certain level of sombre reverence.
    Is her surname Livingstone by any chance?

  2. Top Gear did a hilarious segment mocking that exact type of American tourist in their Africa Special some years ago.

  3. Remember vividly when in Sapporo, Japan just after watching England beat Argentina 1-0 in the 2002 football World Cup.

    Japanese fantastic hosts, police polite and friendly.

    Some English fans decided they would openly urinate in the street. Ignorant scum.

    Far fewer Japanese tourists these days, replaced by the stronger economy Chinese. You can tell the difference, Chinese generally fatter, bad eyes so needing glasses, worse behaved and much louder.

    Personally not that bothered about the tourists visiting the UK as they are paying money into our economy and fuck off when they are done. Far more bothered about the huge number of Eastern European cunts who are swamping our town, who seemingly contribute fuck all to anything positive, shout a lot and show absolutely no signs of leaving.

  5. Apparently now, according to leibor, leaving the EU is “a reckless and extreme interpretation of the referendum result”.

    A vote to leave the EU … yes or no …
    How many fucking ways are there to “interpret” the results?

    Fuck me. Can these desperate cunts get anymore pathetic?

    • Fucka Umunna was on the news at lunchtime having one of his fucking strops. I guess Lady Mandelson writes his material for him. That dreadful old Irish arsehole Barry Gardiner was completely rying himself up in knots on The World At One. Even Mrs. Boggs had to agree he was a fucking stupid useless wanker.

    • They’ve obviously been blackmailed by the Blairites. Whom, if I’d been Corbyn, I would have told to sling their hooks at the outset and fuck the electoral consequences (which would probably have been good, and maintained the populist momentum)

      So, no real exit, and another ton of burning sulphur to be added to the pit of hell to which I hope someone will soon assist Blair. The seedy, grasping, dangerous, dictator-sucking cunt.

      • Blackmailed? No balls or vision more like. Anything they imagine will get them across the ‘winning’ line will do… and not a million miles different from the so called Government.

      • I sort of agree. Much as most cunters here dislike him, Corbyn briefly had a chance to take an initiative, and is even now regretting that he didn’t. He’s not a fan of the EU, and UKIP took a lot of Labour votes the time before last. Which I’d say he’s now lost for ever: why would they even bother voting? It would have taken considerable courage to trap and eliminate the Blairites, of whom there are still enough to do their Blairite thing and support the Remoaning Tories – the blackmail message. The problem with Corbyn is that he really doesn’t do confrontation – he couldn’t take them because he’s not hard enough….and if he were, the Corbyn Is A Stalinist media – and most cunters here – would have had a field day.

      • She’s a woman of straw. He’s a man of straw. Both pretending to be something they’re patently not.

        Corbyn doesn’t need to be Stalinist, he just needs to decide where he stands on a few key issues and stick to his guns, show a little consistency. I’d never vote for him, but might find a modicum of respect if he showed a little backbone.

        Cannot read Mrs May at all. No substance whatsoever. Not sure she really exists. I wish she didn’t. What’s her game? Not a clue. Except it’s about as far from leaving the EU as you could possibly get. She was always a nominal Remainer, so at least a smidgen of consistency there.

        Not so Corbyn. 30 years a committed Leaver…. until it came to the Referendum crunch. So much for principles. Even after UK voted to leave he ‘leads’ an opposition that rarely misses the opportunity to throw spanners in the Brexit works, often for nothing more than childish party political point scoring. No alternative vision, that’s for sure.

        Sorry, bin waffling on too long for a cunt who’s now beyond caring, having lost the little faith in this country he may have once had.

        Subject them to sexual intercourse.

      • Agree to disagree on a single point RTC. Corbyn *did* need to be a Stalinist. The party needed a brutal and complete purge, in short order. That would have been played up as antidemocratic (and probably antisemitic, somehow), by the same people who want to ignore the democratic referendum’s result, and who beasted and undermined their democratically elected leader since he got the job. But it was doable. And the grass roots would have supported him.

        Nub of it is, as you say, strong leadership is absent on all sides. And strong action is needed.

      • Message received and mostly agree.

        But like Mrs May, Corbyn wants it every which way. A serious opposition is essential, but Labour are not it. Otherwise they’d be 60 points ahead, even in the most unfavourable of polls!

  6. There’s a difference between tourists and holidaymakers. Tourists move from place to place, seeing the sights and places of local interest. Holidaymakers stay in the same place , lay on the beach all day , piss it up all night, insult the locals, abuse the hotel staff and behave like pigs. We don’t have foreign holidaymakers for obvious reasons, only tourists. Unfortunately most of the British abroad are holidaymakers and a fucking disgrace. I have no problem with tourists in London and always try to help them out if I can, especially the young Japanese girls. ( no wonder Jap men are all fucking perverts ) You can easily tell them apart from the local foreign scum and they are happy to meet a real British person. There aren’t many of us left in London. Nothing wrong with tourists, it’s the holidaymakers who are the cunts.

  7. I call them “Touroids”. Because they ae seasonal and like haemorrhoids they are a pain in the A$*e!

  8. With regard to this cunting…I can’t get past the stupid little cunt in the picture…

    Thumbs up if you’re fry me Hymie

    Repulsive little cunt.

    🔥

  9. My last jaunt as a tourist abroard ended in me being arrested at gun-point,strip-searched,incarcerated,fined and finally deported.

    I’m probably not a great ambassador for the U.K.

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