I would like to nominate John Cleese for a cunting. It saddens me to have to do this, because like a lot of people, I’m a big fan of Monty Python. However, it seems that age has turned a once funny man, into a petulant little twat. Prior to the vote on the amendment to the Data Protection Bill, Cleese tweeted that if the vote was lost, and the free press not shackled (he didn’t use those exact words), he would quit the UK, because he didn’t want to live in an England where “people live in fear of the Daily Mail”. Aww diddums. The fact is, the only people who really have anything to fear, from the Daily Mail or any other newspaper, are those who are doing something they shouldn’t. To grandly announce that you’ll quit the UK if the press isn’t subjected to ludicrously tighter controls, is a sure sign that you’re a cunt.
It remains to be seen whether Cleese will make good on his promise. Personally, I think he’ll do the same thing that all those US celebrities did, after threatening to leave the US if Donald Trump was elected President, nothing. Naturally, now the amendment has been voted out, people are starting to take the piss out of Cleese. And I’m afraid the only way he can avoid looking like the cunt he is, is to make good on his threat and fuck off. I suggest you try China, John, they hate the press over their. And Tai Chi is very good for people your age.
On a lighter note, I’m currently enjoying a glass of whiskey and a cigar, the thought of press hating cunts like Gary Lineker, Hugh Grant, Steve Coogan, Tom Watson, Ed Miliband, Max Moseley, etc, all frothing at the mouth because they have once again failed to have Sovietesque restraints placed on the press. Long may it continue. Incidentally, I forgot to add this in my Tom Watson/Ed Miliband nomination, but prior to the vote, Miliband disingenuously claimed in an interview that journalists had posed as medical staff in order to get information after the Manchester Arena attack. These allegations were investigated a while ago, and not a shred of evidence was found to support them. So fuck you Ed, you donkey toothed cunt.
Nominated by, Quick Draw McGraw
The lanky cunt recently sold out to lending himself to PPI adverts. That is how far he has fallen from being a groundbreaker to an arsehole.
Serves him right for marrying those golddiggers on what seemed to be a revolving door basis.
Nowadays he is about as funny as being told your cancer has metastasised and you should therefore get all your affairs in order.
I wonder if he still hails from the Ministry of Silly Cunts?
15
Did anyone have G string wearing lothario Peter Stringfellow in the Dead Pool?
2
No – I think that one slipped under the radar.
You have to admire the bloke my managing to be surrounded by top gash all of his life.
8
Yes, but was he really happy driving round in his Porsche and having top totty on tap?
8
Give me a Reliant Robin and a Fleshlight anyday!
5
You talk about Soviet restraints on the press in the same breath as making the argument for “if you’ve got nothing to hide, then you’ve got nothing to fear” which everyone knows is a load of shit and anyone who posits it as a worthy idea is also a cunt.
8
Are you new? We cunt the nominated on here, not the nominator.
12
Really? Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to learn to live with it. Or at least, I would if I actually gave a fuck.
7
This is in no way related to me.
0
Fair point, COTL. The nub of this being if you are an sleb who is flavour of the month but living a pure life, it is no more than a dirty race by the Fleet Street weasels to dig up (invent) shit on you to print.
Although Moseley, Coogan, Grant, Jugears and Watson are special cunts and deserve all the press shitehawking they get and more.
5
Not sure about Stringfellow but I’m sure someone had Mary Wilson in the dead pool.
1
He probably thinks that the Govt will shit themselves at the thought of all that tax revenue leaving the country. Glaring hole in that argument is that like most celebs he is probably paying as little tax as possible at every fucking turn. Feel free to go and do that in the States where they still think you’re funny , you boring old cunt.
14
Apart from “Flowery Twats” I never found this cunt remotely funny.
One of the Cambridge Footlights cunts who thought they were cleverer than they really were (a conceited superiority trait most of these cunts carry throughout their entire lives) and funnier than they are.
This head-butterer read Law at Cambridge. So what!?! So have I! Colin Dexter, Lynda La Plante, P.D. James – not at Cambridge mind, usually at home with a nice real ale and tumbler of single malt.
Yet again the superiorism of fame raises it’s ugly head by yet another irrelevant cunt of the times.
He’s only miffed because the press used to report on him leaving the planet (something he did more often than the space shuttle) ending up in some institution or another, unable to cope with his fame and wealth obviously.
You stick to the parrot sketch and Specsavers ads and let the press do their shit job of reporting socio-globo-libero and anti-Brexit bullshit! Cunt!
9
I’m 50/50 on Cleese. I like him for what he’s done in the past and he’s a good Brexit supporter however before opening your mouth and the same goes for all the other virtue signalling cunts engage your fucking brain. So you’re gonna quit Britain are you? Yeah so what. Like who would give a fuck. Don’t say things you’re not gonna back up with action. Remember only politicians can do that. Cunts.
8
Considering, the Daily Fail have themselves succumbed to the evils of political correctness, I don’t know how he thinks they’re a far right newspaper
4
Really used to love John Cleese (and indeed all the Pythons). Now I’m sad. 😢
On a sadder note…I’m still waiting for that vile, repulsive cunt Alec Baldwin to leave the US…along with all the rest of the Phonywood, libtard, Q list celebrities who constantly threaten to leave. 😤
If I were you, I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for Cleese to leave the UK. All of these self righteous, sanctimonious, pompous, celebritard cunts think think that if they threaten to leave, there’ll be some sort of popular uprising to overturn whatever cause de jure their tiny little minds are supporting.
Cunt #1. Oh my God! Did you hear? John Cleese is going to leave the UK because of the Daily Mail!
Cunt #2. Oh no! Not that!
ISAC #1. Bon voyage unfunny senile old cunt.
ISAC #2. Addios motherfucker.
ISAC #3. Toodles arsewipe.
ISAC #4. Pffffbbbbbtttttt. This fucking cunt will never leave.
7
Maybe we could have a ‘special relationship ‘ cunt exchange programme ?? We will send you Cleese and we’ll take Ben Affleck (supercunt that he is)
4
@CotL
We’ll take that deal but due to US customs regulations about “invasive foreign species” we have to pass on the Diane Abbott for Hillary Clinton proposal.
We are currently in talks with the French for a similar exchange program as well. We propose to send them our tragically hip, Phonywood celibricunts for all of their Parisian prostitutes. Not so much a cunt for a cunt exchange but more like a…whore for a whore transplant
#MoiAussi
😬
3
Sadly, even Samuel L Jackson has succumbed to this celebrity disease. He had a hissy fit over Trump attempting to honour one of his elections, and threatened to leave the US if Trump succeeded. Trump DID succeed and several months on, Jackson is still living in the US.
I lost a certain amount of respect for Jackson a couple of years ago, when I read that a few years prior to finding fame, he was, briefly, a member of the Black Panthers. And I’m not talking about the movie that came out recently. He left them after he pussied out of attack he was supposed to carry out. Considering that in order to join the Black Panthers you had to have a strong hatred of white people. And in a couple of interviews I’ve seen him do, he certainly seems to have been less than pleased to have been in the company of white people. Or maybe he’s just succumbed to the other celebrity disease, disappearing up his own arse when fame and fortune comes calling.
I have to say though, I do admire the way he’s been able to make tens of millions from liberal use of the word, ‘motherfucker’.
4
I wouldn’t necessarily blame him for a few youthful indiscretions. I myself was once a member of the Manson family, no harm done.
Then again, I never threatened to quit the country if Leave won… So maybe Jackson is a big girl’s blouse cunt after all.
2
@Ruff
You think you as Manson Family member you had a troubled youth? Pfffffbbbbbbtttt! How do you think I feel?
I was conceived in a laboratory in Brazil…raised by a single mother in Argentina…and got kicked out of Art School. Some years later I was relocated to the US of A…with help from the CIA. I was forced to change my family name from Schicklegruber to Cuntster and had to join the military as I was deemed too mentally unstable to serve in government.
With my dreams in tatters I spiraled into a state of deep depression. I now live in a state of perpetual sadness and wear a constant frown. As a result I’ll probably never heil again.
🤔
4
@General
See… we both turned out alright, didn’t we? You an officer, me a gentleman… I mean, look where being a vicar’s daughter and doing nothing more noteworthy than running thru a field of wheat gets you – universal fucking opprobrium!
You must celebrate and be proud of your dubious background General. I am… though doing nothing but screwing teenage hippy girls and listening to the White Album on acid – back to back, day in day out – could be quite challenging after a while, and enough to turn even the ruffest, most vulnerable creampuff into a homicidal maniac occasionally…
2
@QDM
As to whether or not Samuel L. Jackson was actually a member of the real Black Panthers I think is debatable. (He denies it…which is meaningless on it’s face.).
What isn’t deniable is that when he was a student at Morehouse College…an all black male college in Atlanta, Georgia…him and some other Africunt/Americunt students kidnapped and held hostage members of the college’s Board of Trustees…including by some accounts Dr. Martin Luther King Sr. NOT Junior….Senior!
For this criminal act he was not convicted kidnapping but of a lesser charge (still a felony) of unlawful confinement and merely suspended.
So we have the spectacle of a convicted felon as a Phonywood spokescunt for such righteous causes of injustice and indignation such as Donald Trump being elected as President. Christ Almighty I could just puke.
Of course the crusading criminal and outspoken SJW is outraged that he…(as his character Nick Fury)…didn’t appear in the greatest film epic of all time…THE Black Panther.
Nick Fucking Fury…Agent of SHIELD…was white! Another example of Phonywood jamming some criminal Rainforest Rabbit down our throats by portraying him as an all American hero.
Now I am going to puke.
Fucking criminal cunt…motherfucker…
3
Another once funny, now self important cunt who has lost his marbles. Nothing he’s done since Fawlty Towers has been remotely chucklesome. Clockwise depressed the hell out of me.
Inflict sexual intercourse upon him.
4
I’ve seen Clockwise about half a dozen times, and I’ve still not seen the ending. I always have to turn it off about half way through.
4
Oh and Cleese, your take on Q was utterly fucking shit . Even the gay box ticking cunt they have doing it now is better.
3
Wasn’t he called ‘R’ in that movie? Either way, it was shite.
2
I’d be happier if the old Cunt just left the Land of the Living,never mind just England. I never “got” Monty Python,and to be honest, I think that anyone who claims to think that it is funny is just doing an “Emperor’s Clothes” and pretending to like it because all their “cool” mates do. Allow me to disabuse any Monty Python fans out there that it is even mildly amusing. It fucking isn’t,it’s just a bunch of tossers acting like spoiled kindergarten brats. The whole bunch of them should have been student-bashed,or better still,pushed in a fast-flowing river,when they were poncing around acting like spazzas on acid and thinking that they were oh so amusing….bet they all bummed each other while at “Uni” too,most students do,bunch of fucking degenerates.
Fuck them.
6
Did you not LOL at the Flying Sheep sketch Dick?
2
Just watched it oh youtube,never seen it before. You owe me 4 minutes of my life that I’ve just wasted.
Utter shite.
7
Sorry Dick, I truly am… my post was intended to be ironic… if I’d considered worth bothering with I’d have provided a link myself.
As penance I will subject myself to watching the clip again personally (last viewed 45 years ago).
Thought of providing a genuinely funny link to make up, but doubt you’d take the chance of being burnt twice…
2
Did you see the Meatloaf clip I left you in the Miss America nom? In case not, here it is again, hope it helps make up…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EC0jKf6Dc6w
1
I enjoyed that RTC. Certainly a step up from anything Monty Python have ever done in the amusement stakes.
However, it doesn’t compensate me for my shortened enjoyable lifespan experiences due to that Monty Python clip…4 minutes !! I could have spent that 4 minutes shouting abuse at fat people…I’ll never get that 4 minutes back,you know.
2
I have just fucked myself on your behalf. Well, it’s a start…
2
Pete and Dud were, I think, funnier.
As Norman Thrope (“perhaps the…prettiest…politician”) has been in the meejah recently, am bound to say (again…) that Cook’s “Biased Judge Summing-Up” is a gem, and he looks like a stupid old Cocklecarrot to boot. The glasses, the lizard-like expression, the mannerisms.
OK, so he had class current affairs material to work on, but could you imagine baby-arse-face Hislopp coming up with anything 1% as funny ?
5
What did you think of all the crossdressing sketches Dick , um pretty gay right? Monty python was considered a vanguard for british humor but it was just a bunch of poofs in knickers
I mean half of monty pythons skits were just them dressing up in womens clothing and pretending to be old women
1
Off topic, but…
The peaceful cunt responsible for setting fire to Grenfell has refused to give evidence at the enquiry… maybe he’s too busy figuring out how to wire a 3 pin plug or circumvent a blown fuse… or scouring skips for another fridge-freezer?
11
Surely the Peaceful cunt should be forced to attend the enquiry or face imprisonment? Just to have a deputy Peaceful turn up and say that their client was in no way responsible is totally unacceptable .
Or perhaps everyone involved in this overdue inquiry can just not bother turning up and send someone else along to say they had nothing to do with it? The fucking eady way out with no incriminations thereafter.
Thought this was supposed to be a proper inquiry?
7
I saw this (unfortunately) on yesterday’s news / Toksvig Towers “one year plus one day on” whingefest.
Boiling piss hitting the fackin ceiling, innit ?
1
Uncunting believable. Trust his cock smoking lawyer would come out and say his client is not guilty of anything. Mmm yeah no, think we’ll leave that decision up to the fire brigade and experts not some money fisting parasite in a suit.
His other notable clients include his royal highness Owobe Nogidiwan of Nigeria, last accused of convincing 84 year old Betty of Dorset to wire him £500 so that he could transfer millions.
2
According to his lawyer the peaceful cunt did every thing right. He informed all his neighbours of their impending doom and rang the fire brigade. No mention of his packed suitcase and the recording of his call to the 999 operator the quite clearly indicates that he has already done an Elvis and left the building.
2
Has he refused to give evidence because he might incriminate himself in some way ? I see a lawyer just read out a statement on his position which no fucker challenged. That is not a legal process I recognise..
1
Has not been funny for many, many years. Should just shut up as he has had his time in the spotlight, and no one interested in ANYTHING he has to say.
Some of Monty a Python was funny, but Ivwas a teenager when I thought this.
With the possible exception of Bob Newhart, as a rule comedians do no not improve with age, they should realise this and learn to bow out gracefully.
5
As much as I appreciate some of the sketches they produced I can’t help but feel they were just another cunt wave in the relentless cultural tsunami of cunts that helped bash the remains of Christianity and morality out of existence in this country with the use of their superior logic, wit and intellect.
In the end they’re not as smart as they probably still think they are.
5
Think they were more concerned with hypocrisy and mind control aspects of religion.
5
Maybe, and said religions needed a good cunting, but they were smart enough to know how it would play out with the masses. Helping to deconstruct them without offering an alternative wisdom, all for fame and fortune, makes one a bit of a whore IMO.
2
Being a bit of a whore goes with the mass-media territory.
2
I like the Daily Mailicious. I also like Mail Online. They keep me going with a steady stream of stories for me to be outraged about.
6
You see their story blaming the KKK for those two lesbians killing their adopted children some weeks back? My god even in today’s society the stupidity of that story boggles the mind
4
Ooooh, you are outraged, Dick, but I like You !!
(defo NOT in an arse-bandit sort of way, though…)
2
Thought the cunt spent most of his time in the US anyway. What he hasn’t realised is that comedy, like himself, ages badly. Python (on a B&W TV propped on a chair in a barrack room) had me and my fellow crabs falling about when it came out. The films were excellent – once through. But nowadays, even allowing for the sharp deterioration in comedic standards, the Python schtick is less amusing than bloody Charlie Chaplin’s.
See also Angus Deayton*…whom Paul Merton (and I, personally) know to be a cunt:
https://www.theguardian.com/media/2003/apr/11/bbc.broadcasting
…sorry about the Guardian….has recently announced that he Will Never Return to HIGNFY, and claims to be five years younger than he is. Knock it off, cunts. Live where you bloody like as long as it isn’t in my street.
*Star of the BBC epic, “The Great European Disaster Movie”. Fascinating bit of off-topic here:
https://www.conservativehome.com/leftwatch/2015/08/the-bbc-denied-the-great-european-disaster-movie-was-eu-funded-that-was-untrue.html
2
Surely Paul Dacre should have been cunted far more
Fat Cunt
2
The barman from minder just died. No idea of his name.
1
Glynn Edwards.
1
Wasn’t he mariried to Yootha Joyce years ago?
I always remember him trying to kill Frank Spencer, and I don’t fucking blame him….
3
From many accounts Michael Crawford is an up himself snooty little cunt.
1
I remember the recent cash-in Python live shows: Cleese kept bitching about The Daily Mail and Paul Dacre… Now, Dacre may be a prize cunt, but that sort of tit for tat thing was never what Python were about… That said though, it was nice to see Cleese get up the nose of that obnoxious, spoilt, and untalented little shit, Taylor Swift, when he joked about wimmin with her on the Bender Norton Show….. So he isn’t all bad and Fawlty Towers was pure genius….
3
I see that numpty Chris SPivey has another ‘major investigation ‘ (lol) out. He has turned his awesome skills to the Grenfell fire. Add this to the long list that subsequently have been proved to be hopelessly, hilariously wrong ( Glasgow bin lorry accident, for one). But don’t expect any apology, he’s not a big enough man to do that.
2
Cleese is an unfunny posh shitcunt always fucking has been always will be
2