I’d like to nominate a cunting for: Faux Authenticity
What do I mean: Anything that is manufactured or manipulated to seem like it wasn’t manufactured or manipulated.
Why do they do it? Mostly because it’s fashionable these days to be into something “real”. This is partly because of the worship of youth culture. Young people, trying to cement their individuality by disassociating themselves with the traditions of the older generations, perceive shortcomings in the world that has been created (basically for them) and want to link the advantages of this world with the freedom that they know from childhood. It’s also because our insanely rich culture is subconsciously trying to escape the ordered world it has created, sort of like a form of controlled release of control.
This is better illustrated by some examples enhanced by ranting.
First on my personal list is bullshit purity marketed foods. Think Innocent smoothies, and foods that say “fuel” or “nature” or “simple”. The idea is that manufacturing somehow taints things, so the less manufacturing the better the product. Then there is the “keeping it real” pseudo hippy bullshit. Occasionally some of these foods will actually be manufactured in the manner that their marketing describes, fine. Is it better? Maybe. Is it distributed in such a manner? No. Is basically everything else to do with the product as pure and simple as the marketing describes? No. Are they trying to fleece morons? Yep. Are they succeeding, Yep. Are the purchasers of such products going to go and live in the wild? I fucking wish.
Second on my list is the “gig” culture. This is the part of the music culture that tries to say that live music is in of itself worth more that recorded music. We firstly that is utter bullshit of the highest order. 99.9% of the music people hear is recorded (of course there will be individual exceptions). The popularity and availability of music today depends on the recorded music industry and digital technology. The current success and permeation of music as an art form depends of music producers and technology. This is not a matter of opinion this is fact (or ditch the fucking iPod hypocrite). So then we get things like the new Friday night bullshit top of the pops replacement on the BBC where the hosts are on the edge of public masturbation with the excitement of introducing live “artists” (the most radical misuse of a word in the history of time) who can’t sing and are nothing more that children showing off in front of their peers, or tiny wangled twats trying to get laid without actually having to speak to anyone. The worst example of this is in 1996 the band Space, who recorded some excellent songs in an expensive studio including “The female of the species”, which contains within it an excellent sounding but clearly processes ride cymbal, did an “acoustic session” on BBC Radio one. Why? It was shit. Most of their songs have electric guitars. I was fucking livid, it was clear worship of bullshit and I have never forgotten it.
Third on my personal list is modern art. Not satisfied with enjoying the benefits of thousands of years of cultural progress, itself illustrated by great artists of undeniable talent, many self-aggrandising and overwhelmingly deluded morons decided that looking cool in front of other people by pretending that they somehow set their own standards meant that they really should say that art could be what happened to exist, rather than what could be envisioned. An unmade bed, an animal cut in half, a fucking piss pot in a public bogs – this was art. How you could validate something that didn’t require anything of value to create didn’t occur to them, what matters is their approval. They took almost the greatest works of thousands of years of civilisation, costing thousands of deaths to create, and decided that self-indulgence was more important. So they symbolised it. Now this are is more “real” than traditional art – it reflects more of the actual world that we live in, it is more of an expression of public ownership. This is all true, but it is also true of the turd that I created with my own body this morning.
All of this has 2 things in common – delusion and self-indulgence. Morons desperately want to paint a picture of themselves as being of more value than they are – whether it be by pretending to be at one with nature (while tweeting about it) or pretending that their whole life is like a music festival (fucking grow up). Whatever they are doing it is resulting in a world where wishful thinking becomes fact and prosperity is somehow martyrdom. They are cunts and they are creating a world of cunts.
Nominated by.Cunting Rank Wags
Some good points here CRW. What annoy me is these Muller tv ads where the bird is creaming her knickers because of this “fat free” yogurt. It’s the sugar content that will rot your teeth and turn you into a fucking bloater. That’s why people these days are obese; because everything is high in sugar (and the fact they have zero self control), even packaged fruit for christ sake.
5
I run for the hills the moment I see something labelled fat-free or low-fat. As you say, they ramp up the sugar to hyperactivity levels.
2
Fat free labeling eh. If the label says “50% of this item is fat free” then the other half is pure fucking pig lard.
2
Fat in food is only bad if you ear absurd amounts of any one item.
The CNS needs a certain degree of fat for its myelin sheaths.
Epic cunting CRW ! I think “delusion and self-indulgence” sums up so much…
1
You mean like tattoos? Full of depth and personal meaning to the tattooed cunt? No they’re not, they are just fashionable badges which make you look like a cunt and you can never get rid of you fucking idiot. Is there anything more disgusting than an attractive young woman who has disfigured her body with tats? She can never become a Milf because as she gets older she will look like a fucked up junkie. Still, it’s nice of them to give us easily identifiable evidence of their innate stupidity. They don’t even have to open their mouths. Thick cunts.
16
I am with you on the tats. When I was growing up tats were seen on sailors or servicemen. A woman with tats was a prossie. End of. Now the disfigurement is common and extreme. I thought it was British slappers but you see lots of Spanish girls defaced with them. I blame vapid, overprivileged cunts like the Beckhams.
10
Just been into town. They’re fucking everywhere. Off to gulag with them where they belong.
6
I like tattoos on chicks which are located in slutty places (thighs, belly, small of the back) ditto piercings. But if any woman has them in traditionally visible places in I’m less impressed.
3
I hate everything – tattoos, body piercings, cosmetic surgery – even jewellery & makeup. I prefer my chicks organic. Quite partial to them wearing glasses though, and smoking tabs, as long as they’re fit.
5
The tattoo on the small of a ladies back is known as a “splash back” its where a considerate gentleman puts his seed when not wishing to get the lady up the duff.
Told that by my tattooist. And yes all my tattoos do mean something because they were designed by me.
1
I’m loving the new Time magazine cover cunters, the Womp Womp Drop Hulk hogans new wrestling move is used to deport illegal mexican children. https://i.redditmedia.com/dUOf6syONJUGk159NrTcf0B7jHuF6KVUPFrqqK1Wrvo.jpg?s=9748c3f348d4706890a38f6c64764e69 Some say the controversial wrestling move is unethical to use on asylum seekers as young as 5 but whatever works brother…
I would love to see Theresa May employ these same tactics at calais but I think the silly bint is too weak and is a fake conservative
10
Works better if you use a piano. Or failed mot. Keep you toes out of the way.
2
A trebuchet is best I reckon you could throw that little fucker 1/2 mile with a big one. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JQLYHt-DM0Q
Enjoy the video
0
Not all modern art is shit. I fondly recall an inspired piece of graffiti sprayed across a bridge over the motorway. In huge black lettering it read:
YOU’RE SHIT AND YOU KNOW IT
Now if that ain’t profound, I don’t know what is. For me it was a fucking epiphany…
8
For years there was a splurge on the rock at the side of the road near Swansea, (Briton Ferry I think), which announced – I AM GOD THE GREAT I AM.
Very profound and always reminded me of Enery the Eighth.
3
Change at Harwich for the continent, and Frinton for the incontinent…
Allegedly, on the back of a Vienna tram, “Knowledge pursues me, but I am faster.”
7
That does it for me. Thanks, good one.
2
One graffiti that stuck with me was ‘Real punks can’t spell capuccino’ with half the letters wrong and crossed out.
4
An old shed on the way to the train station has GRANNY PANTIES in large black letters on, never fails to give me a smirk
2
Innocent smoothies- owned by Coca Cola.
6
….with about the same sugar content as standard Coke.
3
How about “the ruins of a Victorian folly” which a demented bag had built in her council-house garden on some makeover programme that was on the other night? I couldn’t believe my ears when they paid £2,000 for 5 tons of old walling stone that the “designers” then had arranged to look like the footprint of an old building..I must say the authenticity of the “ruined folly” was somewhat spoiled by the caravan parked alongside and the composting bin stood behind. I had high hopes that they’d add the final crowning glory in the shape of a wishing-well surrounded by gnomes, but they were obviously too refined for that…or it could have been that they were frightened that the local chavs chucked the gnomes through the windows of their highly desirable, semi-detached country pile with it’s own extensive grounds and ruined folly.. maisonette.
5
That seems to lift folly to a new high.
4
LOL at the thought of you watching that programme Dick! Hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me…
2
The reason that I’d put it on was because the blurb in the magazine said …”with Charlie Dimmock” and I wanted to see if she was still the fine,unfettered tits bit of stuff that I remembered…. turned out that she was actually twice or even thrice the woman that I remembered. A fucking great slobbery landwhale whose monstrous dugs were hanging around her news.
It really was rather disappointing, RTC,and a reminder that time waits for no man(or woman).
3
That’s sad… you’ve made me come over all melancholy now… or should that be Melania?
Sleep well Dick.
3
How is the long slow pull-out going? Another company shits the bed:
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jun/22/airbus-brexit-britain-commonwealth-plane-wings-north-wales
4
I imagine you’re referring to the long slow stay-in CaliAngel…
Not going too bad… assuming one believes Democracy is the worst thing since the European Union.
6
What Airbus threatening to pull out of the UK!?!
Shock, horror!
I’m glad someone let us know because it’s only been on every major news network and radio station every hour on the hour all bastard day!
O’course any positives for Brexit can be found in the local “Burglar’s Weekly” free paper, next to the classified ads. If you use a magnifying glass you should be able the read the one line that would fit 5 times in an SMS message.
The British Press/News Networks want spiflicating – the lot of ’em!
3
Phwoah! Nice new avatar…
2
Lurking on the fringes of faux-authenticity may be found faux-reality, in the form of steampunk. Or dressing up and playing, as it would be called if its practitioners were not 30-somethings but 5 years old. We can blame JK Rowling for much of this, and also Terry Pratchett, sadly. As you say in your excellent cunting, CRW, youth culture has a lot to answer for. And with it goes progressive infantilisation. Is this not because in the land of the service industry, the provider of monetised fantasy is king? The parallel between the modern bourgeoisie (in its pre-Marxist sense) and HG Wells’ Eloi is unavoidable. We’ve forgotten that the Morlocks are actually running the show.
And I’m afraid you’ve got me started on modern ‘art’ – quotes mandatory. Art used to imply patience, tediously-acquired skill, a sense of harmony and at the very least the ability to draw. Today, we have, in addition to those cited, the Greek cunt who has just put a raft of oildrums in the Serpentine, and who has previously asked us to believe that draping miles of fabric over well-known buildings or landscapes is anything other than pointless and wasteful.
We are perhaps expected to compare this cunt with his countryman, Praxiteles, but we realise, some of us, that calling his Serpentine monstrosity ‘Mastaba’ was a knowing and sardonic acknowledgement of its masturbatory nature as well of the gullibility of the cunts who admire it.
Delusion and self-indulgence, indeed. Well cunted.
3