Yes, these fucking cunting 24-hour-disturbers-of-the-peace richly deserve a solid cunting, along with the selfish, shit-headed fuckwits who subject all and sundry to their endless tinklitty-tinkle-tink (metal fuckers) or binkly-bonkly-binkly-bonkly (wooden cunts).
My fucking bastard neighbours, (the closest I can muster to terms of endearment), not content with being Scousers who’ve relocated to North Wales, have seen fit to hang said tinklitty-tinkle-tink outside their front door. Some 10 feet away from my front door.
These neighbours’ own attempts to communicate are sufficient to elevate my piss to thermo-nuclear meltdown temperature – an excruciating white noise sound, like an off-station radio, where every “C” sound is reminiscent of a consumptive tramp clearing his throat. I simply cannot listen – it’s a fucking pickaxe in the lughole.
But by virtue of a bloody bastarding wind chime, they have cranked up the aural torture to new and unchartered territory way beyond their own inherent cacophony.
Nailed the fucking things up outdoors then closed all their hermetically-sealed double-glazed windows and doors so they don’t hear the non-stop tinkling or binkling. If I were to record a 5 second clip of a song and play it over and over and over, on a loudspeaker outside my house, 24/7, I’m sure I’d be getting a visit from Plod…
The other neighbours had one a few years ago – A binkly-bonkly-binkly-bonkly one, which they left hanging in the breeze in their garden opposite my house, then fucked off on holiday for a week. Despite their efforts to locate it upon their return, it was never found.
Probably because they didn’t think to look in the communal septic tank….
Utter cunts.
Nominated by Cunt Reviled
Fuck me,
Living next door to Scousers must be bad enough…
But chimes too…
Guess you can’t even ask em to take them down either as then you’d have to talk to the cunts and listen to that stupid, toe-curlingly annoying accent.
Laykkkkkkkhhhhhh….
Cunts.
Great cunting by the way.
14
Wind chimes of any size, volume or arrangement are of course pure cuntism. Its the scousers that would irritate me far more – in fact on the cunt scale of 1 – 10 wind charms are a 1 and scousers are 11. Scousers that move out of scouseland are the very worst.
3
Wait until the Champions League final this Saturday . The whole brood will inevitably be out burgling Mo Salah’s house which should give you ample time to cut the cunting thing down.
9
Are you sure your new scouse ‘neighbours’ are not just housebreakers engaged in a particularly long housebreaking?
7
I know they are Scousers, and therefore most likely supreme cunts, but you could do worse than speak with them about it. Otherwise this could be a bad seed for a neighbourly feud where resentments rapidly germinate into a need to bury a splitting axe in their dey dont doo dat doh doo dey doh skulls.
I used to love the plastic windwells as a kid, where the little man used to chop wood, fish, wind the well bucket, pull the donkey etc.
6
Pull the donkey ???? Oh err
5
Speaking of Scousers isn’t pulling a donkey a typical saturday evening tradition ?
5
Instead of wind chimes, you could try hanging half a dozen skulls outside your front door.
Re PM’s comment about the little man chopping wood, as a kid we used to walk the dog on Headley Heath Sunday mornings before lunch, and on way back we’d stop at a ramshackle old corner caff for milky coffee and homemade shortbread. There was a garden gnome, sitting on a bench under a tree in their garden. It sat very neatly, its hand, or hands, near its lap. And their was a very dodgy-looking white stain on its trousers. I’m sure my sister and I weren’t the only ones to notice.
Them were the days… loads of cyclists, but not an inch of lycra in sight. Very “last-century”…
2
Apologies for the lateness of this but since those cunts in the media are still going on about it :
There was a Royal Prince called Harry
Who decided one day he would marry
An actress was found
Who didn’t hang around
Though her family were banned by his granny.
7
I thought you would have got fanny into that rhyme somewhere. I look forwards to the second verse.
1
Wind chimes are the hallmark of the feckless would be bhuddist hippy cunts, and the simple arseholes who would attend candle lit vigils and wave their virtue flags in spite of the fucking racket they make.
The sound of my wet fart played looped through my very aged Vox amp, and played between the hours of 11 and 0400 usually has the desired effect.
Failing that, a midnight visit with superglue.
8
Tinklettly tinkle, Binky bonk.
That’s all I can here in my head now you cunt.
At least it’s not in a bin dippers accent.
8
Fuck the windchimes, if I had scousers next door i’d be more worried about coming home one day and finding nothing but empty rooms. I would suggest CCTV but they would probably nick that as well.
You could always move but you’re looking at 25% below market value. Neighbours are cunts but it could be worse……they could be pikeys or peaceful bomb makers with clumsy fingers.
6
You guys enjoyed the royal wedding so much you inspired me to write this…
https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2018/05/22/celebrity-culture-meets-identity-politics/
3
“Fact-free” is a truly inspiring adjective.
Our parliamentarians, previously living a life stuffed full of (largely toxic) philosophies, will now go on a “fact-free” diet…
Diane Abbott seems to be their unelected leader, having recently been awarded five gold stars for her fact-free tv appearances, by the Minister for Sandpits Mr. Jeremy Corbyn.
Well done, little Diane ! Here’s a banana for your breaktime.
3
Fifty years ago this month….Ronan Point…Forgotten ? Coz they were white.
7
A very timely reminder. You’re referring to the forthcoming Manchester blubberfest, I assume. Question: how many Mancs that you know would spontaneously turn out to lachrymate over total strangers? Sure, those close to the dead and injured have every right to memorialise them in any way they feel appropriate, but it’s been hijacked, hasn’t it? This shit is organised, and it is organised from above.
4
As a Manc I’m disgusted that we’re being encouraged to be like Scousers with the communal mass grief for a millennia after the event. I’m of the opinion if you’re not directly affected stop being a fanny and get on with it.
This is only made worse by the inevitable flood of snow flakes singing Don’t look back in anger and the peacefuls having a love in outside the arena. I narrowly avoided mounting the pavement on Sunday evening as I drove past and saw them taking photos. Bastards.
12
@Komodo. You are very right. Private grief has been hijacked for another ( and more odious ) purpose. I found that there have been several other “tradgedies” in the UK, equal, and even surpassing Grenfell in horror. In a huge Fire in Glasgow.19 firefighters died in the blaze attempting to rescue others. Their memorial. ?
It is wrong ( IMHO ) to promote one horror above another, particularly when the motive in doing so is questionable.
5
I don’t know what Manchester did to deserve Andy Burnham as mayor, but it must have been appalling…R4 lugged him on to emote a bit on Today. Snowflake journalists with meejah degrees don’t know any better, I suppose, and wouldn’t know real news if it attempted to have non-consensual sex withthem.
3
Don’t look back in anger, to fucking right I will. I will not listen to a dumb fucking jackass cunt like Liam Gallagher tell me not be angry by kids getting blown to bits by terrorist scum. Fuck you and you Oasis reunion you egotistical fuckwit.
5
Lee Rigby murdered 5 years ago today.
“Butchered like a joint of meat” by two Peacefuls.
Does he get a remembrance day, like Stephen Lawrence? No, he is the wrong colour.
Bizarrely in 2015 the mother of murdered soldier Lee Rigby has said she was threatened with arrest unless she attended the appeal hearing of a man who harassed her over her son’s death.
Lyn Rigby (was told she would be prosecuted unless she attended the appeal of Christopher Spivey who said her son’s death was a hoax.
What a kind and compassionate justice system we have for the victims of crime here in the UK.
9
Ah… Chris Spivey… that vile perennial cunt of 5 nominations.
Oh fuck, my piss has just boiled over!
4
I’m thinking of having a memorial event for Denis Nillsen, to celebrate his gayness and disregard for the law. Fiddler is invited.
5
My elderly neighbour has loads of these fucking things up in the back yard! Nothing like those dulcet tinkling sounds to put me off my morning stroke to Paige Turnah……
6
I would be more worried about the scousers to be honest.
Check your lead flashing is still there on a regular basis and expect to find your car either gone or up on blocks in the near future.
If confronted, they will of course play the victim card immediately. As in “yeah, we stole your wheels, but we only got £20 for them. The way we see it is that you owe us £80 for the £100 worth of shell suits and bubble perms we bought with the proceeds”.
Scouse cunts.
8
Windchimes are for newage psuedospiritual lunatics, usually the female vegan mystic meg type, and for cheapskate cunts who can’t afford a proper garden feature like a small pond with a little fountain that produces soft white noise that helps mask out bullshit.. such as traffic noise, banshee children endlessly screaming and bouncing on giant trampolines, scouser dialect, and tinklinketty klink klinkers
4
I kinda like chimes its a seasonal thing I dunno if wind chimes are a cunt exactly but I agree they can be annoying, some are alot louder then others All depends on the chime really
6
Never one to miss out Ariana grande is sending “ warmth and light” ? I presume she’s talking about a box of candles?
The meejah are all over this “ anniversary “ as the like to call it…… Cunts!!
Wind chimes huh!!
Hugely irritating pointless pieces of garden shite!! Often displayed by faux earthy and hippy types, the sort of Cunts who own them probably have dream catchers in their bedrooms!!
10
Listened to Manc Imam who while deploring the attack was very concerned about the increase in hate crime and Islamophobia. Yep, muslims the victims again. How many of the fuckers have Mancs killed or injured? None. Have any mobile black post boxes been told to fuck off to their caliphate? Lots probably. Oh the tragedy of hate crime. Victims again the cunts.
11
There was a program on C4 last night about all the “hate crime” the poor peacefuls have been suffering in Manchester. It was a fucking disgrace. Coppers crawling round these cunts, licking their arses and putting ideas in their heads about how offended and frightened they should be. Guarding their fucking mosque and thanking them for the privilege. Sorry, who were the fucking victims here? How many snackbar kids were blown to kingdom come? Fucking appalling apologetic pile of fucking shit.
17
I watched that programme Freddie, fuck knows how I watched it all. I could feel my blood pressure getting dangerously high…..never seen the filth fall over themselves that much trying to appease them peaceful cunts…….fucking embarrassing. Fuck the police the load of cunts.
6
This of course is the same police ‘force’ who shortly before the Manchester atrocity, staged a training exercise involving a terrorist attack,at the end of which a senior jackass in said force main concern was the ‘offence’ which may have been caused due to one of the actors who played a terrorist shouted ‘Alah Akbar’ before launching his attack. Such a levels of fuckwittery present in the police is truly dangerous. That officer is and remains a fucking disgrace and a liability.
5
Ariana Grande can, perhaps, light a transatlantic fart ??
4
The whole ‘memorial’ concert organised with indecent haste even before the kids had been buried was simply to ensure the career of Grande was kept on track after this atrocity. Fucking cunts.
4
I have to say I had a neighbour with a bonkety bonkety the was desposed of one hot,dark night and I think the cunts got the message cuz they have never put up another….the cunts
7
My mother in law had some put up. Then phoned me to fix her security light which was constantly coming on all night. I think a perceptive cunter can guess the reason.
By the way, Tone was on the radio today explaining how a second referendum is needed by using untested and unchallenged (again) assumptions – you know, economic disaster etc. Doesn’t seem to occur to him or indeed the Today interviewers that the trade balance favours the EU.
Fuck the EU and especially fuck Ireland which is being used dishonestly as a stick. God bless Tone who undermines the Remoaner’s position every time he opens his lying gob. By the way he had nothing to do with the torture of that Libyan who was sent to his mate Gaddafi. Must be true because he said so.
13
If there is one politician I would be prepared to serve life for, it would be that odious little cunt! And his family !
8
Join the queue. Astonishingly evil cunt.
6
Even the remoaners shift nervously in their seats when Tony opines. The parallel with wind chimes is notable – tinkling or bonkling away, irritating the neighbours, until even the householder (Labour) begins to regret they ever bought the cunt.
No, Tony made fuck-all response to the damning conclusions of the Libya enquiry. But as the effort continues (despite his arrogant refusal to give the NI Select Committee any of the information he must have on the Gaddafi love-in) the effort continues to obtain compensation for the UK victims of Gaddafi-funded IRA terrorism, he may not be quite out of the woods yet.
Think he was on a yacht at Cannes last week…
6
That’s given me a good idea.
A political windchime.
Tone, Diane, Chukka-Boot-Lips, Verminhofstadt, Adonis.
All hanging outside an appropriate front door (Traitor’s Gate, maybe ?)
5
And, on a bum-note, it would supply its own wind, therefore not being reliant on any fair breezes wafting up the Thames.
5
I see another ‘aspiring architect’ has met his destiny with the business end of a hearse in Islington yesterday.
At this rate, who is going to be designing buildings of the future and/ or selling drugs?
6
Seems like architecture, engineering, medicine or ‘yoof’ work are dangerous occupations.
5
Hmmmmm one ?
Alex “ soapy “ Salmond
Or his dwarf jimmy krankie pal
Nicola Sturgeon
Off and on Topic she wants ANOTHER once in a generation referendum (2014)
What generation fuckin fruit flies
The SNP CUNTS
5
The Nationalist fanatics will be given short shrift by the majority of Scots once again. Even more so this time. Sturgeon will not dare call another referendum. She is playing to the gallery and is all piss and wind. I know it, the electorate know it ( ‘cept the fanatical wing) and she knows it.
1
One bit of Wagner I’d particularly recommend in this case is the
“You are a Cunt” song (see our very own “Cunt Music” section).
Much as I love music, and organ music in particular, I thank Dog that I am not a church organist. Because I could NEVER play Wagner’s Bridal March without thinking of those lyrics.
Had a “fictitious uncle” in my family for whom those most august words must’ve been penned.
Ah, the penis, mightier than the sword…
3
The cunt who lived across the road from where I used to live had a fucking wind chime. That clingy-clangy fucking noise really pissed me off. These fuckers have absolutely no reason to exist and to be fair, neither did he or his stupid as fuck wife. It’s just noise pollution and yet another way the dim witted can legally annoy the rest of us.
Anyone who has one, has ever thought about owning one is a massive cunt and deserves to have a rabid rat shoved up their rear end.
6
Next door had one (battered itself to death in a westerly gale). Trouble is he’s a really nice guy – it was Mrs’ idea, I think. And this is always the problem.
4